Scorched Woods

"Scorched Skin"

This skin
it itches
this new form, it chafes and it tightens
and I am unable to shake the frightening feeling
that I am trapped
and unable to be freed
So I burn down this house
to get out, to get out
leave with scorched skin
I crawl away from the remains
the ash and fallen debris
but I'm finally free
and yet, the world burns on behind me

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"The Woods"

Hello, piperfly
hello wonderbird
Good day to you, peace-bringer
Dance away now piperfly
and go back to your enchanted wood
give me wonderbird and leave
Hello, peace-bringer
How is the day?
Wonderbird said you'd be on your way
But peace-bringer cries
"wonderbird has died
and piperfly has flown away
So, where to now? Where to then?
Where is hope and where is mend?
While we are all faltering here
I am wondering what comes again"
Hello, blue light fly
how was your day?
Peace-bringer said you'd be on your way
But she is gone, gone for good
for piperfly flew off to the woods
and I had told her to dance away
but it killed wonderbird
when she left
So now, blue light fly
where will you go?
And you reply,
"oh I don't know"
And now peace-bringer is not herself
but you can try to help
Hello, piperfly
how was your sojourn?
Wonderbird is so broken
Peace-bringer has died for him too
Now, what shall we do?
Go on, go back to your enchanted wood
I will raise wonderbird
I'll plant peace-maker again
and blue light fly be on the mend
Oh, how, oh, how this all sings
the craziest songs of wounded things
they all have cried, we've broken wings
but I do not mend all of these things

You Never Came

i have been crawling here for you
scraping bottom here for you
begging the skies for you
but you never came
did you?
i have been falling into holes
and growing an abyss
and letting my life end in it for you
i have been traversing endless rooms
and never can i get back to you
you never came
did you?
how many tears must i cry?
in how many ways do you wish i will die?
when i reach the end again, who will be there then?
i have fought and fought to break free
for 5 years crawling on these knees
and you never came
did you?
so, screw you and your promise to me
screw the years, the hopes, the need
screw all the mountains i had climbed for you
all the memories tied to you
and everything you said was true
you never came
did you?
and now i am at this ledge
and there is nothing to hold me
and nothing to save me
but me
and you'll never come
will you?
i'll be my own hero again
and i'll crawl back again and when, oh when i see
the edge of my sanity
i'll speak your name
and say
you never came


4/26/11

Razor Lips

"Razor"

oh, little silver, little satin, little glee
like a shining little miniature thing
you are keen, fine edged and swift
and i know you become the poison in this fist
i see the smear where it leads it back
like a map, like a map
carved out your initials on the inside of your soul
and try to think of what makes you whole
it's erasing the need, the want, the hole
the echo left inside your empty soul
like a map, like a map
i swear i won't take it back
it's the edge of the poison in my fist
surely honed, keen edged and swift
like a shining little miniature thing
oh, little silver, little satin, little glee

4/25/11

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"Lips"

soft
at the edge, like clouds
sweet like plums
and pink
gentle
they move so softly now
softer than thumbs
i think
gentle
and when they touch yours it's like
the world comes to life
like crashing of the waves
and the beginning of time
like the bang they say started it all
and made mountains rise and fall
over it all
it was earth shaking and relentless
in pursuit of just one thing
to return
soft
and whispering

4/26/11

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Survived the Flames

You were flaming, burning me on down
I was scorched until I couldn't make a sound
She came like lighting straight after me
I was her beacon, all that she could see
We were waiting on the world to change
I might have made it a place for the strange
She wanted pacifiers and bunnies
I wanted carrion carrying disease
I got my world in ashes here
Made me a bed out of atmosphere
Created a garland of bones for my hearth
and she wanted lollipops and a purple scarf
We cried out wonder; we cried out pain
We shoved at each other all to get the gain
You were the cause of this battle raging on
All 'cause you decided to burn me long gone
I survived you to face another woe
She has become my one and only foe
I should have burned into a crimson gem
You could have kept me caged in that pen
I would have been your cabochon of truth
Stayed with you through it all just like Ruth
But you remind me as I stand in ashes here
I wanted a world made of atmosphere
I wanted vultures to bring me home each night
She wanted sugar plums and sweet delights
We were like magnets pushing out the way
I was the winner standing here today
You might have scorched me inside of your flames
But I number bones and I know their names
I am the lone survivor on this hill
Come now my flames and wait until
I hold you captive inside of this home
Warming my dinner never quite alone

4/25/11

Too Late at the Edge For You Bringing Spring

"To Me You They'll Bring"

If I take a moment
to imagine you
I see a street sign
and a sky of blue
I see it marked west and leading
but where to?
but where to?
I follow roads, paths, and pointed signs
I follow maps, and feelings, and lines
I never quite get back to you
Lover, where have you gone to?
I shall take a moment to imagine you
I see your smile, hear your laugh, see your eyes
I see the way I was happy in happier times
I am holding to the image, like it's scarred upon me
Star crossed lovers we were, but what shall we be?
This world is pulling
This world is cold
This world too confusing
while I'm growing old
I shall send out a signal to the heavens this Spring
and I shall hope to me you they'll bring

4/20/11

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"The Edge of Strong"

September, you were golds, you were summer colors fading away
bringing in the month of golden waves and ruddy tree lines
It was fun, so very fun, while it lasted
But it ended........again
Come the cooler month where we give thanks, I was feeling like
I might crumble
Seeing dirt, dark, and rubble
Then, yes, December came
I was nearly done
So close to being done
I could not feel that warmth and cheer
There was nothing to hold to
The new year was so cold, it was like I'd never know happiness again
Boarded up and snowed in
Winter has seemed so long
I know now the edge of where I'm strong
but Spring, bless you Spring
Bloom for me in hope and happiness
like promises
Bloom, bloom for me in greens
I am needing the promise of happier things
It's been too long
It's been so long
and I've reached the edge of strong

4/20/11
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"10 Months Too Late"


Today...I woke in a mess and I was broken
too much stress, words unspoken
I'm so battle scarred
full of glares for my reflection
And while, while I drove too fast on these winding roads
Trees and houses passed me by blurring, oh
I realized one thing I never thought of before now
When I fell in love with you it was summertime, it's true
And I was seeing someone else then, someone fast and high and Mr. Fine
But he made me see you in a different light
Oh, but it was later I gained sight to finally see what was in front of me
And realized then that I loved you
But, oh but, oh but, I was 10 months too late dicovering
And there was nothing I could do, there was no recovering
Today...I discovered so much honesty, bleeding out of me
and I'm waking up to know where I have been
All the images blurred passed me fast, all the memories of the past
and I realized I'd loved you for so long, so very long
It took me 10 months to realize this and I think it's so wrong, I should have known
And then another 11 months to tell you so
Yes, I'm an oblivious fool, yes, I'm a riduculous fool
But today I discovered all of this....
...so tell me why, oh tell me why...
Why did it take me 10 months to realize?


4/19/11

All By Elizabeth Azpurua

We're Done Now, Bird

"Guess This One Is Called Done"

I've been digging my own grave
I'm almost nearly done
I've been tied up as your slave
Bound to the things never done
I can barely even breathe
I know that I am almost done
My death is slowly nearing
Then it'll all be over and done
So very done
I've been laid out in this hole
Now I'm over and I'm done
You hold my heart and my soul
Destroyed both now it's done
So here is my death for you
Hold the guilt now that it's done
Nothing left to hold onto
Over and done, over and done

4/18/11

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"Fanciful Bird"

I spin inside the darkness and the shadows and the cold
It's hard to get out of bed
You were the thing that got me through the dark times
a happy little emotional head upon your shoulders
you would smile and light up my world
Where did you go? Where have you ran away to?
Was my dark and dreary world too much for you, my fanciful bird?
I was swallowing the fears, the doubts, the losses
and you were walking the streets to fame
how I'd uphold your name....but no, you walked away
into the horizon of the happy ones and when you wake each
day you spring right out of bed
I spin inside my darkness and my shadows in the cold
and I can't get out of my bed
I can't get out of my head
You were the only thing that made my world all bright and new
and I was giddy, and high, and happy and light
and I'm nothing of the sort without you
Where did you run away to?
I'm sorry my world was to dreary for you, my fanciful bird
I should have known it would be too dark for you

4/18/11

Pounding

Stuck inside this music
The sound is drowning me
Like I'm choking on it
I can barely hardly breathe
It gets so deep, it gets so thick
It gets so hard, and I'm left sick
It's pounding in my head
The sound reminds I'm not dead
It's pounding in my head
The sounds of before playing again and again
Memories flood and drown me down
Melodies I cannot get around
Memories pound and they pound
And I'm through here in the sound
It gets so deep, it gets so thick
It's relentless and leaving me sick
Between my ears is a war of melodies
All the chaos of these memories
Pounding inside of me


4/10/11

Birds Are Singing Your Name

Inside the sun, beneath the clouds
I want to scream your name out loud
Tell all the birds of your sweet face
And how you fell from outer space
How you have graced us with your essence
And the world had then received a present
I'll tell them all to sing of your name
And how nothing will be the same
If you should leave they'll sing a mourning song
And they'll say that surely something went wrong
For the sunlight contained your smile
And all the magic bottle up a while
Burst forth in Spring to wake the world and set it right
And without you there would be no pearly moonlight
You made the world a place of majesty
When you graced us with your beauty
I'll have the birds sing forever of you
Singing you're the most beautiful they knew

Nothing Happy Here, Move Along Now Flightless Bird

ledges are for stopping
not for the jumping I do from them
and arms are for grabbing
not for trying to fly with them
legs are for running
they aren't landing gear
and we're meant for falling
that's what we should fear

4/8/11


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if i attempt breathing with this
weight on me
i might sink my soul like an
anchor in the sea
i might forever remain in the
darkest of places
where there is no glory
nor smiling faces
if i attempt to continue like this
i won't realize i'll never be his

4/8/11


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why don't you just tear my heart
out and eat it right
in front of
me?
then maybe I will realize my death
was always what you
sought when you
looked right
through
me


4/8/11

Duct Tape My Flighty Soul

Come, sit awhile with me

It's OK, we don't need to talk too much

I just want to soak up your warmth

and settle in

Let your solid spirit ground my flighty soul

Stay a bit and I'll try to make you whole

If I fail, your still free to search the world

but I'd like you to sit a while

Settle in

and let me catch my breath

This world is a troublesome one

Not sure how we got along so far

It wasn't from numbers or wishin' on stars

or from fallen eyelashes, I assure you

Must have been blood, sweat and tears

duct tape and glue

A hope, a prayer, and I got by with you

It's OK, don't worry now

We don't have to talk

Just sit by me and let me relax now

I need your solid spirit to ground my flighty soul

I Know Why God Painted This Sky

I love the way the night reminds me of you; subtle
starlight in the distance shining through
and when the mornings come and the
barest color reaches sky
I think to myself I know the reasons why
God used the colors He did to bring
His world to life
He found love in miracle of the eternities
and tried to paint her essence upon
everything
So I see in all the wonderment
your face; it's heaven sent
and I adore you

by elizabeth azpurua

Cardinals

tilt over the ledge
come back, come back
spin over the edge
and I'm back, and you're back
and we're here
like cardinals in spring
what will this bring?
More songs, more wrongs
More titles and phases
and endings to phrases
I love you, I love you
I loved you, sang I
I love you, I love you
was not your reply
Cardinals darting and darting on by
this Spring will bring another reply?
tilt over the ledge
come back, come back
spin out on the edge
Come back when I'm back
and we're here
again

3/28/11

By Elizabeth Azpurua

I Used to Be an Angel in a Meadow

"Not An Angel Anymore"

broke my wings off
and tucked them in the corner
you thought i wouldn't notice
and that i would stay on the ground
bound
took my halo away
and placed it in the dresser
thought i wouldn't notice
in my reflection my glow is gone
forgotten
you slowly wove me into a sickly figure
no wings, no halo, not an angel anymore
you took my harp and my voice
and gave me a hole in which to stay
here i thought i had found a new life of freedom
but i only gave up my purpose to condone yours
i'm not now
so what's next?

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"Who I Used To Be"

I used to wait by the door and by the windows
I wished on blue moons and stars and willows
I collected thoughts and dreams and hopes and years
I counted signs and trees and reasons in shapes of tears
Maybe I was broken
Maybe I am a fool
But I knew who I was, didn't I?
I played in dreams and painted things I held to
I wrote out my screams and wished for truth
Now I dart back and forth to your upbeat tempo
I still try to spin the way you want me to
I really just want to curl beside this rock here
and pretend that this planet is another sphere
Maybe I am broken
I might be a fool
But I know who I was once upon a time
If I wanna dance upon the edge of evil to claim the right, I shall
If I want to play the music of the fools to bring them wisdom, I will
If I feel the power in my palms at the sight of his face I'll feel a thrill
and if it scares you than I will keep walking along this path, I shall
Maybe I am broken
I'll remember one day
Until then I'll remain this shell of secrets, reasons, hopes and dreams
Of unshared thoughts, wishes, needs and silenced screams
I'll wait by my windows and by my doors
I'll count the signs and number the floors
I'll banish the nonsense while fighting the impossibilities
and when you call me a fool I'll recall one thing
I know who I need to be
and I know who I was


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"Meadow of Yellows"

it's a cloak, a guard
and a shield, said he
a promise never kept
and I'm in this place waiting
with a city light loft
and wishing for that
castle on the hill
that cliff on the edge
a meadow of yellows
and a memory of love
it's a cloak, a guard
and a shield, said he
but he never came back for me
he never came back for me
he never came back for me
and I can't find the place
that space
Before that girl and her vampire friend
I had a meadow of yellows near a cliff
and far below there was a sea
but I'm not sure where this place could be
and he never came back for me
it's a cloak, a guard
and a shield, said he
a promise never kept
and I'm still waiting
it's a lost key, a lost map
a lost time
and a lie
he never came back for me

All by Elizabeth Azpurua 3/25/11

Swan Prince

Bernadette spun the webs and played the song of your soul
spilled the pearls from the chest and made you play this role
She made you her swan and told you to dance and when you failed
she plucked your feathers and served you before them
Her wicked nature made the birds cease their songs in the trees
and the sun hid her face when she left you there on your knees
Bernadette tore from you the essence of what you might have been
when she plucked you bare and served you to them
I was helpless upon the shore too far away from her evil lare
I could not bring the kiss to change you with how much I care
And so you her victim lead a lonely life awaiting your demise
where she would strip you bare and feed you to them


By elizabeth azpurua

3/22/11

Rainbows Aren't Found Underfoot

We all thought we had it planned out
thought it made sense
played in crayons on the carpet
and drew rainbows
but rainbows aren't found here
We made murals in our tears then and traced their tracks across our faces
and hated the image
and cursed the mirror
and threw out the memories
drowned them in songs
and nothing made it better
and the carpet still remains stained
in a sad version of hope
rainbows aren't found here
rainbows aren't found underfoot
I will run out these doors after the rain
I will shout to the sky after the pain
I will scream at the clouds going insane
Until there's a rainbow up there
Until there's hope up there
Until there's more than the blank sky I never wanted to keep looking at
I am not taking more crayons to the carpet

By Elizabeth Azpurua 3/20/11

This "NEW" Home

made out the letters and made the calls
told them i'm losing everything that I had
and made them all sorry and made them all sad
i held up the ends of my torn hair
i put the closed sign and said i dont care
but in reality i faltered and i felt weak
but they said it'd be OK so i'd try to sleep
and in the mornings i woke day after day
i found the days became less tinged in grey
so even when storm skies fill up the dawn
i will keep on walking keep going on
there may be missing the days i grew in
there may be missing the rooms i played in
there may be missing the place i had known
but i will make new memories in this place i call home

By Elizabeth Azpurua 3/18/11

Pharaoh Could Lose the Birds

"The Birds Don't Know"

The rain is falling like heavy marbles on this roof
Your lack of a response troubles me
And cuts through marrow
Through feelings
I suppose you are being entertained by the blue jays
While I am waiting on ravens
I suppose you are being cajoled by the melodies
While I am writing tuneless songs
But at some point you will end this silence
And I will feel like you drowned me


3/5/11
 
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“Could Lose You”

I have been often wayward and wishing for a better day
I often wander away from the crowd and don’t return
You were always forsaking the beat walking away
And you never really needed the drum
I watched you grow from and oddling into something great
But your eyes never see you and maybe it’s too late
I can’t get you to focus nor get you to dream
You won’t ever plan and you won’t believe
And when the day ends and I didn’t tell you the truth
I always wonder what I had to lose
I have been often relentless and fretting for everything
You calm my spirit and take my soul and set it firm
I dash back and forth between what is happening
But you show me how to learn
I wake knowing you have the potential for infinity
But let you go to sleep not thinking anything
I can’t get you to focus nor to dream
You won’t ever plan and you won’t believe
And when each day ends and I never told you the truth
I realize exactly what I could lose
I could lose you
And who you won’t ever become
3/5/11
 
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“Pharaoh’s Curse”
 
Like a scarred hand reaching in the darkness
Her thoughts contaminate our minds
With negativity and
Cold
And when she is holding onto the tomb
Of the Pharaoh in her hands
I will let her bear the curse
And I will walk away
From hatred and
Cold

3/4/11

All By Elizabeth Azpurua

Burn Up Love Like This

"Gasoline"

I know you're aching, hurting, fighting
needing, wanting, longing; it's frightening
the future dark, dim, cold, turn on the light
I have the car keys
let's drive
I know it's maddening this life we lead
come and pull up the weeds
and end this
It's burning, scorching, up, up in flames; it's over
And you're standing in the remains
Why is it so damn complicated?
I don't know, dark and cold
let's create a bonfire
I'm waiting here
spreading the gasoline
I want an explosion
someone light the match
It's frustrating, you're aching, he's screaming
she's bleeding
It's a mess we weave into knots; and I'm cold
dark, alone, and like stone we settle
don't settle
I say let's leave together
but this life holds me back

2/23/11

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"Mirage Called Love"

She choked you
brought you to your knees
in satin and pearls shaped like bullets
She made you beg her
need her, want her
and you turned the other cheek
all you became is for her stepping
your back is for her feet
Stupid boy, she doesn't love you
Stupid boy, she never did
Stupid boy, just stand and shake her
but you're too much a gentleman
He broke you
brought you to your knees
in leather and smokescreens and illusions
He made you need him
want him, feel him
and you burned for his touch
just like the fool in love too rough
Stupid girl, he doesn't love you
Stupid girl, he never did
Stupid girl, just turn and leave him
but you're not enough of a woman
You dumb fools, let go, let go and move on
you dumb fools, this love is all too wrong
They hold your heart strings
And they end your breathing
All for what?
For a mirage called love

By Elizabeth Azpurua 2/23/11

Under the Circus Tent

Can we pretend it’s summertime? Sit and watch the stars
as we lay on our backs in the grass?
Can we go inside and make believe we are kids in carnival days?
I want to see the circus and play
Let’s make cotton candy and I’ll feed you pink fluffy clouds
and then turn around and kiss your mouth
Let’s use this quilt and you and make a circus tent for two
and from the patchwork roses I find glee
Can we pretend it’s summertime? Can we bounce around
and do circus tricks?
Let’s get high like trapeze artists in our exhilarating fun
Let’s use this quilt while you become the circus tent
and our make believing fun won’t ever end
You’re the Ringmaster and I’m glad to say that this
made up summer joy is marvelous

2/19/11

.......not that it matters.......

I know you get tired of reading
of looking and seeing
of holding my hand as I battle the past
and cradling my sorrows in your lap
I know you get weary with my leading you backwards
while I bring you down into this pit
and in each moment I relapse
you are there, ever constant and strong
I know you get tired of hearing me cry
of helping my tears dry
of being my shield to get through the night
and forcing me to keep up the fight
I know it's repetitive, tiresome; too many words
and you just would like to quit
but is it really such a hard task
to be there when I'm faltering on?
...........maybe. maybe, maybe I should walk away
into some other distant place
take out my mind and cease all these rhymes
shut off the hymns and the noise
maybe, maybe, maybe I should runaway
never hear another word from me
and when you get lonely and come looking someday
you'll find my empty mind by the seashore
........but here I am
an island...amidst the transcending moments
and you are but a pebble on the ground
until I need you again and you come be my friend
and listen to my mind and every sound
and somehow, somehow, somehow,
you learn it's not such a hard task
........................'til then, it's more words, more poems
more nonsense you pretend to read here
and not that it matters, but you are my anchor
and the darkness is growing again

Choked the Lion Dead

“Dead Lion”



You were brave like lions in a grave
Soot and sand your home
I was warning before the storming
But now I stand alone
I was trying to get you to see the clouds
But no matter how great and loud
My voice cannot reach your closed off mind
And now my dear, we’re out of time
So go and roar your mighty roar
Inside the tomb of the ground
And I will be seeking all the more
And I won’t even hear your sound
You were brave like lions in a grave
Forever silenced then
I could not make sense to you
And so I lost a friend
I wish I could go back and change all the time
Wasted that you wouldn’t pay me mind
But no dear, it’s over, the ground holds you now
And I cannot reach you, I’m not allowed
So go roar your mighty roar
Inside the tomb of the ground
And I will be seeking all the more
Unable to hear your mighty sound


2/4/11
 
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"Choked"
I choke, every time, every way, every rhyme
I fall and
bitterest of all
is the closeness that I never could close
the line never crossed, now dead, I suppose
but in every moment
passed by
my tongue sticks to my mouth too dry
and nothing changes
at all
 
2/6/11
 
by Elizabeth Azpurua