Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Rock Bottom Dawn and Death Shoulders

"Little Deaths"

I don't know why we struggle as we do with broken hearts
Or why we carry the weight of past pains on our backs
but I know why we leave behind pieces and parts
and why there are deep stains in our tracks
For within each ache and hurt is a death of our soul
and we lose something we never gain back
with each little death there is left a small hole
a memory showing us what we now lack

7/24/12

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"Bony Shoulders"

Her pale skin is not like alabaster, but more like plaster
or sun bleached earth
it seems quite pasty and flaky and speaks of death
Her bony shoulders and frail frame beguile
for she's an evil Dame
Her spirit is not one, but two, and each hold arrows
and each subdue
She walks along and drags a chain
the chain is made of bones unnamed, and from her wrists
she has the lives of many fallen to her lies
but as she goes, her pieces fall
and leave a trail of death
and she alone knows each by name
they no longer have life for breath
Her eyes are cold, her heart is green, her essence only that of mean
and when you see her
look away
for she will come back again for you someday


7/23/12


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"Rock Bottom"


wrap the chain around my ankle
and wrap the rope about my wrist
tape my eyes closed forever
and rip my soul out with your fist
bury me beneath the lost dreams of my illusions
drown me in the broken moments of confusions
and end me and my all
and watch me as I fall
into rock bottom


sew my lips together with twine
and cement my feet to fall into the sea
change my name and what I am
and erase the traces of what was me
bury me beneath the lost dreams of my illusions
drown me in the broken moments of confusions
take me, take it all
and erase me as I fall
back into rock bottom


it's so stark and empty
and full of nothing new
a silence oh, so deadly
without a hopeful view
I will not break free from these chains
nor erase the past of pains
I cannot stand up
if you end me
with rock bottom


6/29/12


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"Blame the Dawn"


I crawled over the ground, glass strewn around
while the sky
was breaking down
there was a sea inside of me
and a pitiful aching
and there was the dawn that came and took the night away
and you sailed away
and left me waiting
as I bled I turned to hating
like the poison ate at me
There was no hope but broken shards
and breaking hearts
and the morning sun
and I hated that my wishing stars had fled and run
You sailed away on a trip towards the distant light
and I alone with bleeding knees
learned my plight
I crawled away that fateful day and learned to hate
and let that part of me go, away the poison ate, and so
I have known something of the loss of hope
My wishing stars are now all gone
I blame the dawn
I blame the dawn




7/23/12

Friday, July 20, 2012

Blasphemy and the Funambulist

Blasphemy, Lord of Apathy
turned away from me
inside of the circus tent
Calls the lions now
they gather around
and says to them all,
"Behold the cursed who shall fall"
Like I am unable to understand the words
Like I am simple and dazed and cursed
Oh, Lord of Apathy you don't know me
high above I walk along the smallest space
teetering and so high up I cannot see a face
Inside the circus tent
the lions roam about
they gather around
and told to them all
"Behold the cursed who shall fall"

I am the hapless funambulist high above
see me walk alone treading careful in love
but the Lord of Apathy does not know me
turns away from me now
and takes a bow
like he knows I will fall soon......
I am the funambulist walking the narrow way
looking not below but here I shall stay
careful, careful, careful in love teetering high above
Blasphemy, Lord of Apathy
turned away from me
inside of the circus tent
Calls the lions now
they gather around
and says to them all,
"Behold the cursed who shall fall"
Like I am unable to understand the words
Like I am simple and dazed and cursed
and then, one, two, three, four
they wait below on the floor
one, two, three and they see
I do not fall, blasphemy
I do not fall, blasphemy
How? they ask in their utter certainty
Proclaimed! they said the curse was proclaimed upon me
Lord of Apathy looks up at me now
with all the lions gathered around
in disbelief and calling out the worst
for knowing now that no, I'm not cursed
I was the hapless funambulist on my own each day
no longer unlucky I follow the narrow way
high above I walk a tiny space for love
and never do I fall
no, I do not fall
Blasphemy, Lord of Apathy
turned away from me
inside of the circus tent
and the lions now
still gathered around
turn upon each other in their angered state
knowing now a fall was not my fate

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Monday, July 16, 2012

Endless Ocean Running Out

"Endless Ocean"

Follow me back down to the endless ocean
and swim with me to drown in the endless ocean


I am traveling through the essence of all the tears earth has cried
and you were just a mirage in the seaweed, a ghost trying to hide


I am looking through the murky water upward seeing sun
and I don't want to reach up to feel it anymore
there is nothing but the cold, deep, dark ocean floor
I am done and do not want to surface to feel the sun


I will lay on the depth of the ocean floor and hide
and feel the weight of memory of all that I cried


and live forever as bones at the bottom of this ocean
like a sunk ship I will rest in peace in the endless ocean


7/10/12


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"Time is Running Out"

vibrancy, is what i sought
the fire inside the word and the thought
and here i am waiting
but waiting in vain as time is running
out


7/11/12

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

It is what it is.......

My life becomes endless counting coins
and catching rain
and I have a vendetta against spiders playing violins
There's alarms that sound from time to time
and some days there are no lights
but I've got poetry
and faith
My life becomes endless marking days down
and watching bills mound
like mountains of grief
but when the sky cries I rejoice
and when time flies
I rejoice
and when days are pretty I feel like I should sing
I may sleep wrapped up tight
and hope insomnia stays gone
I might dream restless dreams about things that need to be done
but when I rise each day I have a warm place to stay
and some days I just cannot ask for more
My life becomes a battle with the way I'd like it to be
and how it remains
bring the rains
and better days to me
My pest control man texts me like a friend
and my job says I'm better again
and my friends drop like flies in the heat
My dreams fall through slippery hands while I dream of distant lands
but it's OK because I have a roof over my head
I might be penniless in the rain, but hell, at least I have a shower
and hell, at least I have the power to say
I can be happy anyway
I may not have those who said they'd stay here but I have nothing left to fear
because nothing can hurt me now I know
I am like the child who says to the sun
"it is what is is, so make it so"
I wake each day and greet the day and go on and hope for even better days
but for now, I am here, and here is home

Saturday, July 7, 2012

A Book Called "Never"

Seven days in and it's a let down
like a battlefield I face ahead
I am giving up I think in the long run
I am accepting inside I shall be dead
Here's the height of the heat
and I'm melting
Here's my final defeat
and I'm breaking
Lord, I've given up on what I started
I'm waving away all the departed
and writing them off forever
in a book called "Never"

Seven days in and it's all a shame
like a wasteland I am left empty now
I am giving up on this road I set out on
I kept trying but I just don't know how
Here's the height of the heat
and I'm melting
Here's my final defeat
and I'm breaking
Lord, I've given up on what I started
I'm waving away all the departed
and writing them off forever
in a book called "Never"
in a book called "Never"

Seven days in and I can't sleep
I am dreaming all the things that won't come
They're all nightmares about "maybes"
and from them I can't ever run
Here's the height of the heat
and I'm melting
Here's my final defeat
and I'm breaking
Lord, I've given up on what I started
I'm waving away all the departed
and writing them off forever
in a book called "Never"
in a book called "Never"

Seven days down and it's a war zone
my emotions are raging war
Seven days down and it's helpless
tell me what I am fighting for?
Here's the height of the heat
and I'm melting
With my final defeat
I am breaking
Finally given up on what I started
gone are all the departed
gone, gone forever
labeled in a book called "Never"
in a book called "Never"
in a book called "Never"
written off in a book called "Never"

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Greatest Ache

alabaster cities may often gleam
and stars might grant some wishes
but things aren't always as they seem
when seeking gold you might find fishes

sometimes when doors close no others open
and when mirrors shatter you just get cut
be careful what you place your hope in
or else you might be stuck in a rut

but of all the things one learns in life
one is hardest to swallow down
it aches and causes deepest strife
and places on you an eternal frown

it's not a love to make you boast
the greatest ache your heart will feel
is knowing those that you love most
do not in turn love you for real

they seem to you that they love you some
but walk away seeking another place
and when you call they do not come
nor to you show their true face

the greatest ache your heart will feel
is the hardest lesson felt inside
knowing you're not loved by them for real
but have been sadly set aside

Monday, July 2, 2012

Feather Home

I rode the seven horses beneath your raging sea
and named myself an albatross, a sea bird just like thee
I marveled at the waves and how they foam beneath the sky
and learned the whispers of the dolphins as they raced on by
I carried in my feather home the pieces of the way
that I learned to love the light as it broke each day
I traversed the winding roads that led to your cave
and named all my fears I conquered - I was brave
I mastered stealth and improvising as I learned to sing
and unto thee I have the greatest poems to bring
I carried in my feather home the pieces of the way
that I learned to love the light as it broke each day
and along my journey through the dark I have learned
that as long as I carry hope inside it has always burned
I am fragile in my feather home with pieces of the way
I truly love the light when it rises each new day
I will sing the song of the sea bird and watch the cresting waves
I will walk alone the winding road and number all false caves
I will ride seven hundred wild horses just to show
the only thing inside I really ever will know
I am fragile in my feather home with pieces of the way
that I learned to love the light as it broke each new day

by Elizabeth Azpurua