Saturday, May 29, 2010

Fake Moon

Hollow eyed and wearisome
and startled by the way
the moon falls asleep each morn
and the sun steals the day
like perfection in a teacup
and a stony little brook
it's all fairytales with laughter
that were written in a book
not the shadows by your pillow
and the haunting voice of dreams
nor the blanket that surrounded
while the ceiling caught your screams
try to cover up the lamplight
meant to light the corners dark
now a fight against the fears and
pain left in mark after mark
until the sun upon the window
lights a falsehood of the day
and the lying little sunbeams
bring the kiddies out to play
hollow eyed and wearisome
walking out in the afternoon
face the brightness with a smile
fake as the light of the moon

by elizabeth azpurua

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Unspoken Past Anger Here

"Scorch the Past"

after the hurricane
the aftermath
the selfish pain
the ending tides of tidal waves and the
rush of voices screamed
the fires all had ceased with flame
the leftovers
discarded shame
and smoke had filled the rooms
where all the hopes had bled
but now I'm going to
kindle flames
and start the fires to burn
like wildfire and brimstone
and scorch the past



"Anger Represented Here"

what is the point anymore
when you don't pay attention here
and that toadstool you sit upon
is rotting out
and the air around your head
is blue and green and grey
and every motion of your mouth
just sickens me?
there isn't a point at all now
and no need to mention anything
for the remainder of your days
is spent while high
and that rotting toadstool is your dream
and the haven of your selfish stupidity
while every other living thing
just walks away



"Unspoken Unanswered"
discarded photos in a photo book
and a nasty taste in my mouth
and somehow words still unspoken
are waiting to come out
I wanted to...but the words failed
discarded dreams in a dream journal
and a tear or two never shed
and so many questions unanswered
turn circles inside of my bed
I wanted to speak...but cannot

by elizabeth azpurua

Monday, May 17, 2010

My Singing Bucket

"Not Singing that Song"

Let it be
There was a song, saying so
Over and over
Words I think I oughta know
But so what? It's easy to sing to the music
Not so easy to really do it
and I'm sorry it's not my design
There's too much sorrow
and stress and confusion
and rude boys full of fake illusions
and the selfishness of petty people
but there was a song once
I don't sing
There's a saying about being still
and trusting God
and I keep saying but the words
just seem so faint
It's not my fault that this whole world
seems to conspire against me
Let it be
But that just isn't me
but they all sing
I figure times are a bit cloudy and
the moon may hide her light
but the reality is harsher in the bright
of the day's light
and somebody in their wisdom said something
we all think we get
But I'm not happy yet
Not quite happy yet
it's all postcards of promises
and indulgent foolish boys
and the emptiness of pocket books
and the absence of pure joys
it's the retarded little happy maker's setting
off to work
and the silly little window sitter's making
others look
Let it be, let it be
it's not the concept I perceived
Where is the justice in this silence?
we all hold our tongues in check
Let it be is not for me
nor was stillness nor fighting
I am tired of the world tossing stones
at me
It's ok and I'll be fine and in the rattling
of my weary mind
I'll accept that wisdom of that song...
...but just won't say it yet


"My Storm"

Take it back...
I don't want it no more, I said, I said
Yes, I said it
Take it back...
It doesn't feel anymore, I said, I said
I have said it
But then suddenly like the storm on the sea
there was raucous inside of my soul
You made the waves and the turbulence here
and somehow inside the madness I'm whole
It is deeper and rising and waves crashing;
but inside this chaos I'm whole
inside this chaotic soul



scrabbling for a crumb inside this bucket
no one ever thinks to put more in
and i'm faltering with nothing, so forget it
and this time i am despairing, ragged, thin
and i am unsure of the meaning inside all this
and i cannot face the concept i can't win
so forgetting i have nothing in this bucket
i'll reach my hand inside once again
pray to God i'll pull out something precious
despite i am despairing, ragged, thin
but there is never merit in saying screw this
so i'll stick my hand in the bucket again


All by Elizabeth Azpurua

Monday, May 10, 2010

Drowning Summer Lover's Riot in Colors

"All a Riot Now"

hungover and a mess
and watching dust collect on you
I am feeling like I ran a race
and the marathon ended too soon
who is to say the reasons why?
I have no answers anymore
I have a broken lullaby
I play it over and over for reminds me of then
when life stilled inside the forest
and we played like children there
and the world seemed a cherished place
for we sang without a care
...not anymore, though
it's all a riot now
and the peace I felt is swept by the wind



"When Summer Comes..."

I'll spill cornstarch on this rodeo
and bathe in the dust of a thousand
sunny days
but spend myself over the edge in
one thousand useless ways
just to cover the summer humidity
in mosquitoes
it's the longing from the tips of my toes
to the edge of my fingertips
and all in between this sundress
it's everything I wanted in the millions
of fireflies flowing like an illusion of
water through the starlit air
I am incapable of leaving this place
where boots and laces fell into dirt
and horses leaped without a care
and summer braids wound in flowers
were the artwork I proclaimed before
it's all toothpaste and sunny smiles
and laughter to the moon
but it's all over so very soon
in the wake of troublesome skies
and lightning shattering dreams
I wanna make peach pie and eat
corn cobs until the salty butter
melts away from my mouth
and I wanna leave June beetles and
butterlfies in the day for the sound of bats
chasing their foes across the air above
this porch full of music and laughter
and ride handcarts down hills
just to lose myself in the breeze
but it's not what it seems
and I'm no child no more to speak
like I've not a care in this summer filled world
Not while I hold the jean jacket close
and shiver in this cool spring air



"Colors in Love Poems"

burgandy, I sang you a poem, I did
and hurt like hell when the words stuck against my throat
of broken promises and youthful dreams
it's all the lies we tell ourselves to fall asleep

horizon white, I sang a poem of you, I did
and screamed inside when the colors all came back to me
of illusions I made plastic soldiers in my head
all the reasons I erased inside the bed

goldenrod, my feather's white, my eyes so blue
a poem or two I shall sing just for you and hope to God
I'll never choke on the words that leave me now
and I'll trail kisses all across your brows

rainbow, you could never hold all the colors close
nor magnify the bounty in the prose I chose to tell
there is too much pain and too much lies
and the nervousness of silly butterflies
but I sang the poems, I did....for each of them



"Lover's Drown"

I sought you forever by the seas
holding shells inside my hands
to still the water's dance
Fool I thought that I could make them stop
and let me across
and let me across
I walked forver alone by the sea
a shell for you I would give again
to give me one more chance
Fool I thought I could calm the ocean here
to let me across
to let me across
But the sirens all laugh at my pleas
singing songs to stir up the sands
and give me not a chance
Fool I thought that I could make them stop
they laughed at my loss
they laughed at my loss
singing "lovers drown, lovers drown, and they go down"
singing "they all drown, they go down and down and down"
singing "all your hopes are gone and sinking down"
singing "come with us and sleep where lovers drown"
I follow them into the waves where I go down


Friday, May 7, 2010

Marshmallows Everywhere

"Everywhere is Nowhere Here"

nowhere is in everywhere
so everywhere is nowhere here
and here is nowhere in everywhere
because everywhere is everywhere here
nowhere never was somewhere
and somewhere is somewhere there
and here is a somewhere in everywhere
but everywhere is nowhere here
and somewhere is now everywhere
to someone who is nowhere there
and no one never was nowhere
when they're always present somewhere here
and somewhere is somewhere in everywhere
and everywhere is nowhere here
nowhere is in everywhere
and somewhere is in everywhere
and here is in everywhere
and everywhere is nowhere here



"Carousel of Marshmallows"

mint julep and a partridge in a tree
and an acorn by the hill
and a book with a lock and key
and leaping is my thrill
take a stormy sea song higher
and an avalanche follows you
and make a moonbeam brighter
and I'll wish forever on the blue
carry wishes in his pocket
and spend them by the bay
tuck the photos in the locket
and teach the monkeys all to play
like a carousel of marshmallows
a sweet tooth on this floor
I am forever chasing shadows
and taking pennies to the door


Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Red Stilled Heart at the End

"Golden Door and Red Flowers"

carnage, bleeding, lifeless forms of stupidity
but from this mess i'll make a mural
and paint with blossoms that are red
that golden door seemed foolish once
now a beacon on this island
scattered with sorrow to and fro and far below
and i'll make a masterpiece of rose bushes
red petals and thorns and reminders of grief
and this field of poppies will overflow
with the shadows of what used to be
little bleeding puppets set on shore for a musical
and silly clown faces laughing inside the gore
i'll paint on canvas a field of flowers red
and leave inside a golden door and golden steps
and if asked a meaning tell those fools
here is earth and that's His door
and those weren't flowers once before



"The End"

dungeon and tower
and lock and key
and fortress with a river
and an island in the sea
and for what?
for who?
and when?
come hither and surrender
and never walk again
breathless with longing
and devotion
and throw away your soul
and cast away the boat
and lay down to die
and for what?
for who?
and when?
come hither and surrender
and never walk again
this never was your battle
and I never was your friend
and love never was the enemy
until you learned the end
dungeon and tower
and lock and my key
and fortress with my river
and the island of my sea
for me and me alone
and for you the ending throne
when all the world passes us by
come hither and surrender
and never walk again
this place is called my heart
and this love is your "the end"



"Still My Heart"

Be still my heart
and break not at the sight of him
his wounded soul
was never shield enough for you
and with his name
broke clouds into a raining mess
and you learned guilt
when never reasons belonged to you
Be still my heart
though lights grow dim inside him
his shattered world
is not yours to make anew
and with his name
caused an avalanche of troubles
to bleed on you
but it was never your own scars
Be still my heart
while years of pain may mark you
and don't look back
for lessons move you ever forward
take care and focus
on a path set out before you
and let him linger
in his shattered dreamless form
Be still my heart
though your poised and set for breaking
and yearn him not
for his whispers were all lies
and hold no candles
his road is dark and troublesome
while yours is sunset
leaving rainclouds behind you


By Elizabeth Azpurua

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Waterfalls in June

ease into my cavern, fall upon me
like waterfalls in June
and sting along my shoulders
and I'll dance nails across yours too
uncomfortable upon your skin
the dew is slower falling
and breath it steels out of your lips
to leave you needing, longing
like climbing up this mountain height
and tumble back down slow
and plunging into deeper depths
breathless further there we go
and like a run across the sands
and flight like birds beneath the moon
I'll toss myself back into your hands
fall upon you like waterfalls in June
and still this earth we played across
and cause the stars to weep
until every moment in our hearts
is etched forever just to keep
this memory here with us

by Elizabeth Azpurua 5/1/10