Sunday, November 28, 2010

Hope For Spring

holdin' on to this
like a dying rose
hope for Spring, blessed Spring
to come
make the world anew
like it's all brand new
and it's alive with life again
but why is it this pattern?
silly cycles that i hate
why must I go through it
like I'm stuck inside a maze?
holdin' on to this
like a dying rose
hope for Spring, blessed Spring
please come
and rain on me with life
and take away the strife
paint my world with alive again


11/28/10

by Elizabeth A.

Friday, November 26, 2010

I Would Have...

i would have chased the shadows away
just to bring you the sun in a box
open the lid and hold it close
and always have a smile inside
i would have made the memories go away
bring you the stars to keep by your bed
wish upon them each night and never
have to go to sleep worrying inside
i would have helped you scale the mountains
helped you sail every sea
i would have carried you over the hard times
and watched you while you dreamed
i would have gone above and beyond
just to see you smile every day
but nothing i say matters at all now
just words of a poem written here

By Elizabeth A.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

You Are Anchoring Me

He was a liar and a thief
The substance in the bottom of my grief
The collector of the memories I seek
to put away
and bury now
He was so foolish and so weak
The absence of the innocence I'd keep
The locator of the fears in me
to wall away
for years I was

But you are like an anchor I hold onto
Sometimes I cannot move
Sometimes I see my doom
But then when the stormy seas surround me
You hold me close and safe
I can ride out all the waves
You are anchoring me
For I'm adrift in this sea

He was a giver of promises in bed
A phantom in the shadows in my head
The maker of the futures I could see
Just to bury me
inside this grief
He was a warrior for an unknown risk
Like a collector of every single wish
Just to throw them all away
I was born to say
Just his name

He called me out to sea
I built this boat to be
only his, only his and his alone

But you became the anchor I hold onto
Sometimes I can hardly move
Sometimes I still fear my doom
But when the stormy seas surround me
You keep my close and safe
While I ride out the waves
You are anchoring me
Because I'm still adrift in this sea

Too many reasons for this bitter end
Lies and promises are now forgotten
They spoke in pretty words
Creating for me their worlds
and futures full of hopes to keep
I thought I had it made then
But ended in this ocean
Holding onto a boat of dying dreams
Like I'm floating away in silent screams
until you came...and anchored me

You are the anchor I hold onto
Even in the times I cannot move
Even though I may still fear my doom
When all the stormy seas surround me
I know you will keep me safe
Stay with me as I ride these waves
You are anchoring me
For I'm adrift in this sea
Please....stay with me

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Paper Sailboat Hopes

within the spaces between each heartbeat
the miles stretch ever more
and if I send out smoke signals
nobody will see the trail of hope
so I carry paper sailboats
and a bag of stones
and I send out a message
on the wings of hope
but the seasons just might pass by
and the winds of time may change
but the miles that keep on growing
remind me to stay the same
so I'll hum my little melody
and hold onto paper dreams
toss aside the bitter woes
and finally believe
there is something in this distance
and there are hopes carried far
inside my pocket is a sailboat
fragile just like my heart
but I'm sending out the message
upon the wings of hope
let the winds of time give it speed
to take it forward forever more

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Say One Word: Infinite

"Say"

it's hard to convey to you what you mean to me
harder still to find the words for these emotions
if I could tell you what you mean to me
would it change a thing?
would it mean a thing?
perhaps the sky will fall on me if I speak
perhaps the moon will forever hide
perhaps nothing at all will change anything
but I think I might try
to say
all these things I have no words to use
it's hard to tell you how infinite you are to me
harder still to paint for you the future I am holding to
but would you even hear me out and believe me?
can I change anything?
will my words mean a thing?
perhaps the world will lose humanity it I speak
perhaps the sun will forever dim her light
perhaps nothing at all will change anything
but I think I have to try
to say
something
Something profound will never leave my lips
Something brave, and strong, and sure won't ring a sound
It will be quiet, tentative and so full of fear
it's the entirety of the infinite I try to convey
and I know I have no words to use to get my point across
but if I don't
such a loss
I think I have to try
to say
everything
having no words to use


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"One Word"

oh, one word, one word
just one word
so much meaning to one little word
I have one, just one word
to describe you
with one word
only one
just one word
it's only one
if they knew, if they knew
who you are
they would also have one word
just one word
and we'd all describe you
with just one word
if they knew, if they knew, if they knew
I have one
one little wish
That the world will one day see
just what you are and came to be
just one word
that they would need
I have one, one word
just one, one little word
if you knew only one word
you would know
this one word
is
infinite

by Elizabeth Azpurua

Sunday, November 14, 2010

We Eat Bitter Things When in Pain

"Toadstool Flame"

acrid, wasted, wanton, lame
toadstool in the bitter flame
took the ashes towards the trees
left them to become the breeze
ancient, wooded, scarce explored
forgotten in the Yuletide lore
ate a potion to kill the pain
and die alone beneath the rain
bitter, vile and horrible to taste
toadstool fed to a fool in haste
burnt inside and all the way through
laying down by that sacred yew
alone, forgotten, pitiful pile of shame
burnt from within by the toadstool flame

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Winter's Song is Agony

"Winter Song"
ice cycles are walling up my soul, drenched in poison and coated in wrong
it's the season of longing and season of death
winter was always the deadliest song
and between the decay of forested hopes I lie in the aftermath of wanting
it's the forgotten inside me and desperate call
of my voice crying out now so haunting


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Living in Agony"
you can take me off this pedestal
throw me to the ground
drown out my sound
you can shoot out my heart
and end all my dreams
and silence my screams
but I'm still living on
you can burn me at the stake
mock me for my belief
leave me needing relief
you can erase my legacy
end all I've made here
watch as I disappear
but I'm still living on
in agony

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Where Do You Find Home?

it's in the walls
in the furniture, the corners and the halls
inside the cabinets and boxes cluttered tall
all around us all
it's in the air
in the bedrooms, in the books, by the chair
inside the photo albums and pictures everywhere
every inch to spare
it's in the memories
in the echoes from the past and in the movies
inside captured moments from all the times we did see
all these things
it's in the reasons
each moment counted in the changing of the seasons
I am counting down the memories of why and how and what for
it's in all the ways I am holding onto this
and what I'm holding onto it for
it's in every thing I know
and I don't want to change
and I don't want to walk away
and I don't want to forget this place
why did it come to be this way?
it's in the doorways
in the safety of the cozy place we played
inside the rooms, the halls, the happy places
all these spaces
I'm holding on to it
and I don't want to forget
I'm holding on to this
collections of all I'd miss

by Elizabeth Azpurua

My Weary Heart Battles the Elements Without You

I can climb so high, and get so far
but suddenly the mountain I was scaling falls
caving in, I am falling down, losing it
and you're not around
and it's harder now
I was reaching, reaching, reaching towards the sun
it's been so long
You'd been the moon, the bluest moon of all
but now I'm too old to call you back
Come rain, come snow, come fire, and come the winds
My weary heart is destroyed over and over again
I can climb so high, and get so far
but the mountain no longer remains and I fall
caving in, I am falling down, losing it
and where are you?
Where are you?
I was reaching, reaching, reaching towards a sunny day
it's been so hard on me
You'd been the moon, with the shooting stars
but I'm too old to wish anymore and it's too hard
Come rain, come snow, the fire and the wind comes too
My weary heart battles the elements without you
And no matter the height I reach alone
You are nowhere now; where are you now?
I can climb so high, and get so very far
and always the mountain I scale will fall
Caving in I lose myself, I lose it all
and who will catch me as I fall?
No, not you at all.........
I was reaching, reaching, reaching towards the sun
it's been too long
You'd been the moon, bluest of them all
but now I'm too old to hold you up
Come rain, come snow, come fire and wind too
My weary heart battles the elements without you
And no matter how I fight or the height I gain
You aren't here at all
No one to see me fall
Bitterest truth of all
I was reaching, reaching, reaching towards a sunny day
it's been so hard on me
battling alone this way
I was reaching, reaching, reaching, reaching....
to fall


By Elizabeth Azpurua

Friday, November 5, 2010

Sleeping Beside Doom

He's the piper in the waters
leads you deeper as you go
like a serpent in the silence
you follow him below
and he ends you
drowning
She's the stalker in the forest
hunts you deeper as you go
like a creature in the stillness
you the prey will never know
when she ends you
dying
They're the enemies we hold to
sleep beside each night we need to
and curl around each morning
like fools we hold onto nothing
He's the whispers in the meadow
brushes kisses across your spine
a tempter he will beguile you
and cause you to lose your mind
once he ends you
deceiving
She's the glow behind your smile
makes the music you will dance to
and as you follow her away now
know that she is going to kill you
and once she kills you
bleeding
They're the enemies we hold to
sleep beside each night we need to
and curl around each morning
like fools we hold onto nothing
but doom
we are sleeping beside doom
and when we roll over in the morning
it's the dying...
...slowly one day at a time

by elizabeth azpurua

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Razor Blades For Dinner

"What's your poison of choice?
Where's the pleading in your voice?
Said you wanted more, didn't you?"
Why is the mirror mimicking this too?

My lips move in words I hate
Mockery staring back at me
"You said you wanted more, didn't you?"
Go back to waiting here for you


Drinking acid everyday
I made this the bitter way
I end with dinner every night
Taking bites with you

Cooking razor blades for dinner
Hope you brought the wine
Sing me to sleep later
With that haunted lullaby

"What's the liquid in your stillness?
Why so crimson in the dimness?"
Why is the mirror mimicking me?
Must this turn into a mockery?

Drinking acid everyday
I made this the bitter way
I end with dinner every night
Slowed by poison in my mind

Cooking razor blades for dinner
Hope you brought the wine
Sing me to sleep later
That stupid, haunted lullaby

"How do you cut the deepest now?
Swallow everything down"
And I'm pouring acid in the glass
Doing what you asked

Cooking razor blades for dinner
Hope you brought the wine
Tell that person in the mirror
Sing me that haunted lullaby



by Elizabeth Azpurua