Poisoning Walls Defeat Ice

"Walls of Ice"

Icicles have walled up my heart
Haven't heard your voice in a long while
Once I would have missed the sound
Perhaps my ears have iced over, too
Echoes linger of you in every part
Yearning for you stopped after a while
Once I would have felt so bound
Until I broke free and let go of you
Finally, I walked away but the coldness spread
All of my insides are frozen over
Like I made walls of ice to keep out the sun
Like I made walls of ice to keep out the love
Once I would have fought the apathy
Not now, oh no, I let it wash over me
You don't get to burn me with your love
Or erase my need with all your wants
Until I broke free, I never knew how bound I was
Rescued by reason and my walls have grown
Frozen high, icy towers in my soul
All of my insides are iced over
Couldn't let you burn me anymore
Everything ...is going numb

8/3/15

Elizabeth Azpurua

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"Poisoning Defeat"

My too wild heart, my ribs have caged
My soul so long in want has aged
My lifeless eyes are shunned by you
No longer will my body do
You want a viper
You want a thief
You want a devil who offers relief
You want a demon
You want a piece
Of the pie with poison release
My too wild heart, my ribs have caged
My heart so long a war has waged
My parched lips can't utter what you need
From you I beg a word, I plead
But you want a viper
You want a thief
Your mistress offers your relief
She'll be your devil
Her tongue so sweet
Yet her poisoning is your defeat

7/26/15

Elizabeth Azpurua

Blinding Sunrise

Risen sun
shut down
shotgun
and done

Barrel deep
blood orange

If I had an ounce of recollection
I'd recall the words
The insurrection
and the hurts
I know in blood that name had fallen
Left there you remained forgotten
and all this time ignored but now?
Blinding sunrise baring down

Risen sun
shut down
shotgun
and done

Barrel deep
blood orange

If I had an ounce of sympathy
I'd recall the moments
Passing strangely
in fragments
I know the name in agony fell
So once a bitter sound to tell
and all this time ignored but now?
Blinding sunrise baring down

By: Elizabeth Azpurua

Louder Is The Ache

My soul, for you is aching
Crush my bones into powder
I've been let down
Sorrow is singing louder
Drown out the sound

Barest moments of speech
In the increments of thought
This hallowed ground
Your wounded heart I sought
But still I never found

Louder is the sadness
Louder is the ache
Louder breaks my heart now
Such a wounded state
Crush my bones into powder
I've been let down
My wounded hearts sings louder
Bitterness now found
I've been let down
I've been let down

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Love Does Hurt

A chance I took when I did fall

            Into the arms of love beneath me

Yet waiting there a serpent curled

            With gaping jaws to swallow me

Nothing of the sort of love like stories told in days of yore

Just a death with silver tongue and nothing left anymore

They say love shouldn’t hurt you

            This isn’t true

Often times what hurts the most is the ending of your fall

That doesn’t end in lovers arms, but instead ends it all

 

5/29/14

 

by: Elizabeth Azpurua

Blue Storm Death of Us

"Storm of Us"

My stomach is wrestling with my heart

Some battle of gut wrenching feeling

An ache that surfaces 

A sorrow that won't die

I know they say these things take time

I'm still trying to swim in a hurricane
Washing back to this bloody island

I don't want to be away from your ship

But you're destroying me

This storm of us will drown me

My heart sputters out fleeting moments of feeling
I can't stand this island or this storm

Damn your ship, I'm alone 

By: Elizabeth Azpurua 

3/11/14

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"Blue Eyed Death"

Maybe you're my demon
to hold me down
Blue eyes and a sword
to cut me down
I always thought Savior when I saw you
Now I wonder why it all comes back to you
Are you gonna drown me
in the sea
the color of your eyes?
I would gladly stop breathing
in the sea
the color of your eyes
Just to see you again
Just to see you again
Such a fool I am
You must be my demon
to bury me down
Blue eyes and a sword
to flay me open now
I always thought you would rescue me
Now I think you've been killing me
Are you gonna drown me
in the sea
the colors of your eyes?
I would gladly stop breathing
in the sea
the colors of your eyes
Blue eyed death
Just to see you again

By: Elizabeth Azpurua

3/17/14

Mutiny in the Heart

anarchy in my heart
mutiny from this part
that died slow deaths
each new day
now it wants its due
this small part, it's true
that died slow deaths
for too long
so you better run
it is breaking out
and it will tear you down
in a battle cry
and perhaps to die
along side your heart

1/25/14

Walking Circles

endless is the circle I am walking
tired of repeating all this talking
like I can change how you are

no body knows the pains I'm feeling
tired of pretending I am healing
I don't want to be what you are

I want to be able to walk away from all of this
and stop the walk that makes my fists
reach skyward high
Circles I had been walking became how I exist
to throw up my arms and my fists
shouting skyward high
I hate this

endless was the days I was repeating
tired to the core where hope was fleeting
like I could change the way you were

no body knew the depth of my needing
tired of the ache and the words I was reading
like I could make you forget her

I want to be able to walk away from all of this
and stop the walk that makes my fists
reach skyward high
Circles I had been walking became how I exist
to throw up my arms and my fists
shouting skyward high
I hate this

I forgave you and I still loved you
I wanted only the best for you
but you hate you and you won't love you
and how can I show that to you?

endless is the way that loves is taking
tired in my bones and my soul aching
I cannot change the way I hurt

I want to be able to walk away from all of this
and stop the walk that makes my fists
reach skyward high
Circles I hated walking and how I did exist
throwing up my arms and my fists
shouting skyward high
I hated it
I hate this

by Elizabeth Azpurua

Wake or Break in Wind

"Break in Wind"

So strange, this time
it's like a shadow fist took out my mind
and I've gone blind
for a time
So wrong, our end
it's like whirlwind took away my only friend
should I bend
or break in wind?
Where do dreamers go to face head on their end?
I can't speak in the cold air
the leaves are falling, trees weeping everywhere
and I should care
but it's unfair how my mind is blank and I can't share
the way I faired
when we had erred
and who was scared
but I?

10/23/13

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"Over and Done and Broken"

Bastard, you took me down for what?
I'm tired of sad poetry and giving up
I'm tired of trying when it's never enough
I'm tired when the road is always rough
Where the hell is my ending that is labeled with "happy"?
Where the hell is the top of this blasted hill?
I am over and done and broken and still
I keep attempting to be what they want me to be

Bastard, you broke my heart just because
It hurts like hell, but trust me it always does
I'm tired of aching inside with broken trust
like my soul is escaping, my whole life a bust
and there's no damn happy ending in sight anywhere
Where the hell is the top of this blasted hill?
I'm over and done and broken and still
I keep attemtping to try to love and to care
For what?
I don't know....
....I don't know

11/9/13

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"Wake Yourself"

Ever greet the day with strange nostalgia?
Find it hard to wake yourself from reveries
And wishing that you lived in memories?
Triumphant that the day is not longer
Because its hard enough to focus when awake
Wishing for just a moment you could take
A step back in time
11/4/13

Elizabeth Azpurua

Love? Or Just another lonely night?

I bet you've tried a time or two

put yourself out there

let go of being scared

Thought you'd seen the light

found the one you need

now you could succeed

and then it all went wrong

 

I bet you cried a time or two

wishing for the way

that people keep promising

Thought it'd turn out right

that you found what you need

and you wouldn't beg and plead

but, damn it turns out wrong

 

Will it always rain when you're wanting sunshine?

Does it hurt to say you're tired of saying "I'm fine"

Tell me do you know the way to love that feels right

or is it always going to be just another lonely night?

 

I've tried a time or two

and then tried not to care

see how well I've fared?

Thought I'd find the light

and learn what I do need

like I could succeed

when I'm always wrong

 

I have cried a time or two

wishing for the day

tired of promising

that I'll be alright

when all I need

was hope to intercede

but I was so wrong

 

Will it always rain when you're wanting sunshine?

Does it hurt to say you're tired of saying "I'm fine"

Tell me do you know the way to love that feels right

or is it always going to be just another lonely night?

I've learned to love the rain without the sunshine

Learned to perfect the art of saying "I'm fine"

Maybe I'll never learn a love that feels right

Just writing songs on another lonely night

 

Damn it, and tell me why it seems

that all of our dreams

come after sleepless nights

where we don't know?

Damn it, tell me why love seems

to combat all our dreams

unraveling out nights

in all that we don't know?

 

Will it always rain when you need sunshine?

Will it always hurt to tell them you're fine

Is there a way to find love that feels right

or just a way to another lonely night?

Oh, I don't know

I don't know

 

By: Elizabeth Azpurua



Lucifer's Locket is a Broken Glass Heart

"Clinging Broken Heart"

It's sticking like the glue that won't release
and each place you grasp, you cling
with hands clutched to your chest
held fast
no breath
It's clinging to you like cement inside
weighing you down, can't fight
with feet stuck in an awful rut
stuck deep
no luck
Crawl across the ground to roll and plead
with this clinging sticky thing, just breathe
the weight of the broken heart
holds you
depart
and keep trying

6/18/13

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"Breaking Glass"

she shatters mirrors
why? you ask
for erasing errors
with her silver flask
she screams at shadows
while breaking glass
to fall from windows
waiting to pass
the feelings onto the ground below
she shatters mirrors
she must, her task
to erase her errors
and make her mask
to hide from shadows
and in the glass
she throws from windows
hoping to pass
her feelings through the air to fall below

6/10/13


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"Give Me a Locket"

ardently, foolery
cannot spell jewelry
nor embrace
crest fallen face
wishful I was
in blackened lace
give me a locket
for my sin
inside a pocket
to keep there in
no illusions to hold
but remnants of old
for a love that never
shall be

3/2/13

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"You Look Like Lucifer"

I think this feeling is treason
a love with no reason
Does my heart jest?
Might wings break from my spine
to offer some correction
or heart burst from my breast
to end this ailment
and bring me flight?
Oh, serpentine whisperer
You look like Lucifer
illusions and light for a crest
Catching me dancing
in this love that's entrancing
deliver me from this unrest

2/20/13

Common Anchor

"Rarity Is Not Common"

There you are building a castle in the sand
when you could have built the greatest stone mansion in the land
There you go claiming you found your wishing star
when all you did was capture a firefly inside a jar
Silly fool, you think you know it all now, don't you?
Justify what you did to her so you can prove
you weren't the fool, you weren't wrong
like you were the victim there all along
There you are claiming you found a pot of gold
but I see corn in a barrel now rotten and old
So go ahead and prance around like you're the wise
and I'll await the day you finally realize
You traded rarity for something common

4/3/13


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"Sinking by an Anchor"

martyrdom
I will go down with this
drown by this
or be consumed by it
my pendulum
is knocked down by this
do I exist
beyond any of it?
I will hold on to this love like an anchor to sink me now
and drown in the bottom of the sea I made for you and me
I in my back and forth have fallen deeper still
with no thought of letting go; no strength of will
martyrdom
For this cause I will die by this
drowning bliss
to be consumed by it
my pendulum
is knocked down by this
I do not exist
beyond any of it
I am only knots and strings tied to this sinking thing
taking me down and down in the sea I made for you and me
I in my back and forth have fallen deeper still
with no thought of letting go, no, I never will
No, I never will

4/3/13

Learn to Fly

He pushed you off the ledge, didn't he?
He flew with you a while, I did see
He became your wings
and your will to fly
Then he left you there to fall and die
I've been on the ledge before, you see
Several men before have pushed me
They gave me wings
so I could fly
Then they left me to fall from the sky
I've been where you are so to speak
falling from heights to make you weak
and still you long for the wings
that held you aloft so long
I've been where you are in a sense
where falling could never recompense
the gift that was those wings
that gave freedom for so long
But darling, you must learn to glide
whether with wings or the strength to survive
there's nothing but air around you
and the threat of the ground below you
so embrace the wind, embrace the sky
and soon you will learn on your own to fly
Stay clear of the ledges and don't look down
someday someone will come around
and fly by you
they'll fly by you
with wings they earned on their own
because they had to

Lonely Heart

"Breaking Heart"

they say the wind whistles through the barren trees
on a cold winter night
but is there a way to describe the sound of a breaking heart?
the air is empty, the love becomes a swelling thing
to burst out into nothing
where no receiving hand awaits and no kiss can comfort
it is far different than wind in barren trees
it is like the sound of fire becoming ice
and choking off the fumes
of futile love

10/9/12

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"Lonely Morning"

in the lonely morning sunrise where the sheets all seem so cold
and your emptiness is threatening to keep you in its hold
and the moment your eyes greet your room you see a sorry sight
for there is no lover by you and the room never feels bright
and don't worry your pretty head
these days will go by you
because someday with someone else
you'll awake again brand new
and until then when you wake alone inside your empty bed
just remember these days will pass and better are ahead

10/21/12

More Time for Angels to Die on the Horizon

"Do Not Ask an Angel to Die"

you do not ask butterflies to swim
then do not ask that of him
you do not ask polar bears to fly
then do not ever make him cry
you would not expect a moose to sing
then why demand what he can't bring?
if you will not ask a rose to blink
then why tell him what to think?
you do not ask angels to die
so, why do you even try?

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"...more time with you..."

sliding hands upward from the wooden floors
up along skin and upward behind closed doors
knees are bruised upon the hardwood
time is passing of what I would
be doing if I had more time with you
tracing shapes across your stomach slowly
regarding you in front of me like you're holy
knees are bruised upon the hardwood
time is passing of what I would
be doing if I had more time with you
breath, hot, and steamy leaving trails on skin
kisses linger and the scent I am calling a sin
knees are bruised upon the hardwood
but time goes by as it should
while I'm finally doing what I want with you
and my lips are soft all along your leg, along your thigh
and my breath is warm like a whispered kiss ever going high
and my tongue is hot and wet and it warms you to your core
and I bring you in and bring you down while you're wanting more
and I bring you in and bring you down until my knees are sore
and promptly sir, when I am through, yank me off the floor
for time is passing of what I would do
if I had more time with you


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"Chase the Horizon"

Call her "Horizon" and chase her daily
try to catch her as she drifts away
For Horizon is ever ready to make you run and runaway
She'll bruise your feet upon the path leading towards her
She'll make you weak without a thought to not pursue her
and if you weep she will not be there to comfort you
She will be ever forward, what else shall you do?
Call her "Horizon" and chase her daily
and when you think you are closer
Horizon will break you barely hanging on and go ever faster
She'll knock you down and tear you apart upon her pathway
She'll break your heart as you keep going day after day
and if you think you finally will catch her you will cry
She's moved farther onward and she's going on by

by Elizabeth Azpurua

Greatest Ache

alabaster cities may often gleam
and stars might grant some wishes
but things aren't always as they seem
when seeking gold you might find fishes

sometimes when doors close no others open
and when mirrors shatter you just get cut
be careful what you place your hope in
or else you might be stuck in a rut

but of all the things one learns in life
one is hardest to swallow down
it aches and causes deepest strife
and places on you an eternal frown

it's not a love to make you boast
the greatest ache your heart will feel
is knowing those that you love most
do not in turn love you for real

they seem to you that they love you some
but walk away seeking another place
and when you call they do not come
nor to you show their true face

the greatest ache your heart will feel
is the hardest lesson felt inside
knowing you're not loved by them for real
but have been sadly set aside

You Won't

I would walk through fire for you
through ice on bare feet for you
I would fight off one thousand demons for you
would you believe that'd I'd do
anything?
I would stand up and defend
I'd be your shield
I would stand and not pretend
I am right here
but no, you know, I know
you won't
oh no, I know you know
that you won't
You won't walk through the fire for me
if it meant to end your life
because you wish to spend it by her side
You won't walk the ice on bare feet for me
because it would ruin your feet you'll use
to run to her when she will choose
You will not fight even one demon for me
you don't believe in that fighting
or anything
You won't stand up or defend
So please do not pretend
You're not here
oh, oh, you know, I know
you won't
I know, I know you know
that you won't
and it hurts more than anything
to know you won't do anything
I would do it all and more for you
but I know you know you wouldn't do it too

Wanting but Unwanted

There are these days I would like to be held and at best I can seek comfort from a pillow
There are nights I'd like to view the stars with somebody and see Mars and dream for the better
There are times I'd like to hold to someone meaningful
but the times don't come
There are ways in which I would like to sing to someone
but the songs are never sung
Tell me, tell me, why is it so hard?
I am wanting
But unwanted
Tell me, tell me, why is it a breaking heart?
I am wanting
But unwanted
There are these moments I'd like to grasp another's hand and seek out the world beyond
There are these mornings I'd like to view the rising sun and hear the birds singing pleasent weather
There are times I'd like to cling to someone beautiful
but the times don't come
There are many reasons I would like to sing to someone
but the songs are never sung
Tell me, tell me, why is it so hard?
I am wanting
But unwanted
Tell me, tell me, why is it a breaking heart?
I am wanting
But unwanted
I am wishing and wishful and wanting but no
I am unwanted not wished for and I just don't know
Why is it so hard?
Why this breaking heart?
I am wanting
But unwanted, you see
All these ways in which I would like to be with someone
Are wasted by someone not wanting to become that someone
Still wanting
But unwanted

Take it All

I try to write happy songs
try to write happy poems
try to write stories with hope

I tried to be happy girl
full of hope for a better world
but I can't anymore

Take it all, take it all with you
Break me apart, I cannot stop you
You have me all, all of me, you do
It's been you for so long, it's been you

I try to be positive
and write of goodness
and write of the better days

I try to be an upbeat girl
for the betterment of my world
but I can't lie anymore

Take it all, take it all for you
Break me apart 'cuz I won't stop you
You have me all, all of me, you still do
It's been you all along, it's been you

I am bruised and scarred and you mended me
Than you tore me apart and you ended me
Then you pulled me back to a better me
So you could break me, break this new me

Take me all, take me all for you
Break me again since I can't stop you
You have me all, all of me, you always do
It's been you this long, it's been you

I try to write happy words
happy poems
of happy girls
I try to write to be good

I try to be a hopeful girl
to enlighten my whole world
but it's a lie inside anymore
I am over now for you

And Winter Came

And winter came with a cold wind
and broke my heart three times again
I am fallen down into this darkened place
oh, how you kill my soul
I feel my hope go away
and gone........
And winter came and brought a song

With falling snow I lose my self
and try so hard to grow from you
You don't want me, what can I do?
Why am I not good enough for you?

And winter came and brought disease
this shadowed thing that follows me
This thing to kill called heartache
a broken heart is my mistake

I shall not feel, oh no, now numb
I shall not recover from what has been done
I know with this changing of seasons to cold
I shall wither and wander with bones of old

And winter came and came so wrong
and with it brought this eery song
And winter came and came it did
and with it came a cold, cold wind

I shall not feel, oh no, now numb
for what may be and what may come
I know with this new dawning day
is colder still and more come this way

Oh, winter came and brought with it
three times broken heart to bits
and broke me down to this darkened place
oh, how, how you kill my soul
I feel my hope is gone away
and gone......
and winter came and brought this song

With falling snow I'll bury myself
and try to break off from you
You don't want me, what else shall I do?
Oh, I am not good enough for you

I shall not feel, oh no, now numb
for my soul, my soul is so very done
And winter came and brought this deathly wind
a broken heart, broken three times again

12/24/11

Leave the Coins Here

"Counting Coins"

I can't help the fact that
I feel like I'm last
on your list
I feel sometimes as though
I do not exist
You keep counting coins here
like they pile up
with meanings
but maybe you
have
the wrong currency
I can't help the fact that
I feel slightly used
by you at times
I get the feeling you take for granted
my honest lines
You keep counting out those coins
and they won't add up
with meaning
perhaps you have the wrong coins?
I wish you would let them be
but the choice is not
up to me
So I never quite am the first
always feeling hurt
not added up

11/21/11

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"Come Here"

Come here boy, I gotta' say, I don't know what to do
I been waiting here all along
waiting here on you
I been here and I been there, I been all around
But you got my tongue tied where I can't make a sound
I see far and I see wide and I see in between
But I can't see exactly what this all should mean
I keep waitin' for who knows what
and I won't let it go
I been wanting you so much and God only knows
I keep askin' for a dream and I can't make you see
I been standing here alone, standing here I'll be
Come here boy, I must say, I really want to be
somehow the only one that you'd like to need
I wanna be your lover not just your friend
but standing here and waitin' is bound to be my end
Take my hand and tell me so
Tell me we can try
For the better part of nothing is how I waste my time
Come here boy, come here now
and tell me it's OK
for I'm waitin' here and I can't stand to wait another day


11/17/11


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"Leave"

I can't speak
it's why there are these words here
to hold my emotions
and keep them sheltered here
I can't communicate
I've been told I'm terrible
Horrible
the worst yet
I make them miserable
and they all leave
Will you leave?
I make them want to leave it all
Will you leave also?
I can't breathe
when I try to say what you mean to me here
I can't breathe
and that's why I exist right here
I am a tongue tied fool
Quite terrible and unforgivable
Horrible
the worst it seems
I make them hate it all
and they all leave
Will you go too?
I make them miss it all
and they go by
Will you go by, too?
I wish I could tell you
How much I love you
but words fail me
and come out in poorly written poems
So, they sit here
holding my ability to speak and breathe
holding my ability to communicate anything
and holding all my hopes that you won't leave

11/22/11