Glass Coffin

Fairest of all, you had named me
took a portion of my soul and wove a bed for me
told me to be beautiful
told me to be serene
I saved it all for you, but what of me?

Poisonous and frightful, you came for me
took a knife to my heart and made a grave for me
told me to be beautiful
told me I looked serene
I was the fairest once, but what of me?

A coffin of glass, you had made for me
placed the panes of glass upon the ground just for me
told me to be beautiful
behind the glass I'd be serene
I would lay frozen in my beauty, all of me

By: Elizabeth Azpurua

You're My Doll and My Diamond

Temptress, you go by, passing by me
Swirling like a ghost, like a dream I've been fighting
Clouds are in your hair and a tower over there
Was erected for the show to see you dancing, fair

You're my doll and my diamond; my descent into hell
My devil at the back door; you're my wishing well
Sultry like the starlight for wishers who've been blessed
I have spilled my sins before you all of them confessed

Writhing in the lamp lights and the ghosts all know your name
Tell them to keep quiet for the secrets are our game
My thoughts are all a mess
My effervescent holiness 
Your hair is in the clouds and I'm swirling 'round

Temptress, you go by, leading my eye, you see
Swirling like a ghost, a daydream I've been seeking
Clouds are in your hair and that tower over there
Startles all the sky, have a care, so sweet, so fair

You're my doll and my diamond; my descent into hell
My devil at the front door; you're my wishing well
Sultry like the moonlight for lovers who've caressed
I have spilled my sins before you all of them confessed

Singing to the street lights and the ghosts all know your name
I hope they keep quiet, keep this secret our little game
My thoughts are all a mess
My effervescent holiness
Your hair is in the clouds and I'm swirling 'round
Bubbling over, bursting, higher, higher

You're my doll and my diamond; my descent into hell
My devil in the darkness; you're my wishing well
Sweetest, kissed by starlight; my soul has been possessed 
I have left my sins before you all of them confessed
Beneath your starlit eyes I have been undressed

By: Elizabeth Azpurua

Poisoning Walls Defeat Ice

"Walls of Ice"

Icicles have walled up my heart
Haven't heard your voice in a long while
Once I would have missed the sound
Perhaps my ears have iced over, too
Echoes linger of you in every part
Yearning for you stopped after a while
Once I would have felt so bound
Until I broke free and let go of you
Finally, I walked away but the coldness spread
All of my insides are frozen over
Like I made walls of ice to keep out the sun
Like I made walls of ice to keep out the love
Once I would have fought the apathy
Not now, oh no, I let it wash over me
You don't get to burn me with your love
Or erase my need with all your wants
Until I broke free, I never knew how bound I was
Rescued by reason and my walls have grown
Frozen high, icy towers in my soul
All of my insides are iced over
Couldn't let you burn me anymore
Everything ...is going numb

8/3/15

Elizabeth Azpurua

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"Poisoning Defeat"

My too wild heart, my ribs have caged
My soul so long in want has aged
My lifeless eyes are shunned by you
No longer will my body do
You want a viper
You want a thief
You want a devil who offers relief
You want a demon
You want a piece
Of the pie with poison release
My too wild heart, my ribs have caged
My heart so long a war has waged
My parched lips can't utter what you need
From you I beg a word, I plead
But you want a viper
You want a thief
Your mistress offers your relief
She'll be your devil
Her tongue so sweet
Yet her poisoning is your defeat

7/26/15

Elizabeth Azpurua

Stalactites and Bones

I sometimes ache for you until I'm sure

my soul has broken bones

from attempting to flee the confines 

of my body and seek you in

some astral realm

I sometimes long for you until I'm sure

my heart has grown stalactites 

from dripping emotions this long

unable to find you and hold you

where I know you belong

By Elizabeth Azpurua 

Grey Duct Tape Robot

"Not a Robot"

We all grasp for a quality of rightness
A sense of belonging
And importance
Meaning and depth
We seek grace and power
All vying for position at the top
To be honored by our peers
Not me-
I want solitary expounding of thoughts
Crashes of intellect
Imaginative journeys
No sense of belonging
To a form or a product
I am not a robot

9/28/14

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"Grey"

I color the world around me in grey
why? because I can I say
I needn't be a sunny shade or such
because I like the grey so much
I like the foggy morning misty days
and like the storm clouds billowing
I like the dingy, darkening haze
and like the wind that's whistling
I am a stormy soul of grey
not a sunny sort of shade
I color all the world around me so
because grey is all that I know

by Elizabeth Azpurua

5/29/14

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"Duct Tape"

This world is a troublesome one
Not sure how we got along so far
It wasn't from numbers or wishing on stars
or from fallen eyelashes, I assure you
Must have been blood, sweat and tears
duct tape and glue
A hope, a prayer, and I got by with you

Elizabeth Azpurua

Walking Circles

endless is the circle I am walking
tired of repeating all this talking
like I can change how you are

no body knows the pains I'm feeling
tired of pretending I am healing
I don't want to be what you are

I want to be able to walk away from all of this
and stop the walk that makes my fists
reach skyward high
Circles I had been walking became how I exist
to throw up my arms and my fists
shouting skyward high
I hate this

endless was the days I was repeating
tired to the core where hope was fleeting
like I could change the way you were

no body knew the depth of my needing
tired of the ache and the words I was reading
like I could make you forget her

I want to be able to walk away from all of this
and stop the walk that makes my fists
reach skyward high
Circles I had been walking became how I exist
to throw up my arms and my fists
shouting skyward high
I hate this

I forgave you and I still loved you
I wanted only the best for you
but you hate you and you won't love you
and how can I show that to you?

endless is the way that loves is taking
tired in my bones and my soul aching
I cannot change the way I hurt

I want to be able to walk away from all of this
and stop the walk that makes my fists
reach skyward high
Circles I hated walking and how I did exist
throwing up my arms and my fists
shouting skyward high
I hated it
I hate this

by Elizabeth Azpurua

The Autumn Grief is the Swords of Winter

swords of winter come I know
to cut my insides out
your wielding arm should show
me, I am doomed
no doubt;
the ravens cry, the sentinels stand
to testify of this plan
where I shall falter in the broken branches
and find a hollow hand;
breathless, enchanted moments gone
erase the place we laid;
upon an alter I will be done
like I'm a torn out page -
subtle rage
accounted for but not numbered or named;
you listen in but do not speak
watching like a ghost in the corner
but you leave me weak -
you never speak -
shout it out! levy my anger,
sell it to a devil in the dark;
let him eat for all of winter;
he can ignite that spark;
inside I'm waiting to unfurl
but my soul feels hollow;
the whispers of the wind they say
remind me again tomorrow
when the leaves all whirl
in a whirlwind of rage
to mark the moments of
my forgotten age,
and you will stand, tall
and sure and dark
like a stone stacked wall
washed clean and stark;
I will stand below in tangled trees
with cuts on arms and
scraped up knees
clad in leaves;
the air will be cold and smell of doom
like it always has before,
when the swords of winter cut me down
to settle their score;
my soul feels hollow like a worn out tree
in a forest of forgotten things
settled on the fact that I shall be
killed by you mercilessly
oh, the autumn grief;
darkened, doomed, devil's den -
listen, but never speak again;
if words are meant for waking carrion
I shall never wake again

By: Elizabeth Azpurua
9/27/13

You Can't Have Me Crawling

"Silent Crawling"

I feel like rocks have been tied to my toes
and my shoes are full of lead
and my eyes are full of holes
I feel like I been draggin' myself across the ground
for too long now
and I can't make a sound
Should I be like the rubble left behind?
Should I be like a tree planted firm,
never moving, always stern?
I am sifting my fingers through the dirt
for a rope to pull me out
but no, no, never now
I feel like weights have been tied to my eyes
closing them tight to see
and I am blinded from the light
That might have led me to my tunnel's end
but I have found
I've been draggin' me too long now
Should I be like the towers crashed behind me?
Should I be like the rain falling,
drenching, drowning everything?
I am clenching my fists in dirt unable to find
that rope to pull me out
and save my life
I can't get ahead, and I stay behind, and why?
Because these weights upon me won't let me try
and I have been draggin' myself for far too long
without a rope to help me, I am just not strong
So tell me....should I be like the rubble left behind?
Should I be like a tree planted firm,
never moving, always stern?
Should I be like the towers crashed behind me?
Should I be like the rain falling,
drenching, drowning everything?
But I'm here silent and crawling

9/18/13


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"You Can't Have Me"

you want my body, Sir
and nothing more
you do not want my soul for sure

you want to feel me, Sir
because of my allure
for your lust there is no cure

but you do not want me to speak
don't want my soul, or me to think
you do not want my sharp mind
you only want me for my behind

thank you kindly, Sir
I am worth more
you can keep your pants on for sure

you can't have me, Sir
forget about my allure
I will offer you no cure

I can't be silenced or shut up
don't dare call me Buttercup
or Mami, or Baby, or Woman, or Doll
do not text, email, or call
do not show up at my door
don't dare treat me like a whore
I am worth so much more
you can't have me, Sir

9/12/13

Can't Fall Anymore

Your lashes hold your eyes of lies
with subtle flickering demise
my soul used to fall for those false little lapses
but I have recovered from my heart's collapses
I am not who I once was before
I am wiser and bolder and more

Your laughter beguiles from you
like it wishes to stick to me like glue
and cover my reason and all of my sense
with promises of a white picket fence
but I can't fall for that anymore
I am not who I once was before

Shut your mouth, Sir, don't speak
you are coming across as weak
my soul used to fall for your stories of life
and your begging me to become your wife
I am wiser and bolder and more
so I won't fall for you like before

Your whispers and your fingertips
Your smiles and lies from your lips
can't cover my reason nor all of my sense
cannot take down my walls or my defense
I am not who I once was before
I can't fall for you anymore

Bold Silent Masks

And in the end twas silence loud
met by masks stark and proud,
awash in red and yet still cold
met this silence loud and bold,
but still what erred but humans weak
who fail to see and fail to speak?
They who wander lost and sick
with nothing on their bones to pick,
their souls too dusty,
minds too faint,
hearts gone rusty,
none a saint;
for they speak not and stand so sure
as if they know that they are pure
but they are silent at the end
when all shall innocence pretend
but what has erred but humans weak
who cannot feel and do not speak...
wearing masks and standing proud
behind a silence bold and loud

8/27/13

Sleeping Thoughts of Babylon

"Road to Babylon"

 

I sing the wayward song of a temptress done wrong

My movements beguile and bewilder

As I walked the road to Babylon

I found those who did surrender

They sang of long sultry nights of wrong

With bodies they don’t remember 

So I sang to them of Maryanne

I said she sounds like her tongue would taste like Lucifer’s

With sunset hair and vixen ways to cast her curse

And I was smitten by that vixen on a cloudy day of summertime sin 

I sang my telltale signs of wicked wrong

With my body moving as I did deliver

A song to fill the air headed to Babylon

I tell them of how in lust I did surrender

With the words of my ever sinful song

I became Babylon’s number one contender 

I sang to them of Maryanne

With lips and a tongue tasting just like Lucifer’s

Sunset hair, this vixen cast her curse

And I was utterly doomed and smitten on a cloudy day of summertime sin 

I tasted rain, she tasted pain

We tumbled in the fields of grain

She marked me thrice while I learned to pay the price

Of letting go with a vixen 

They all did cheer me on as I sang my song

On the way down the road to Babylon 

6/25/13 

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"Sleeping Beast"

 

Inside you lies a sleeping beast awaiting its welcomed release

The flavor like a feline rare inside to come apart to tear

These visions in my eyes do come like rivers about to overrun

Feed it the darkness; feed it with death, with carrion what it likes best

The temperament like a raging storm and it feels so, so warm

Give it a playtime; let it go, ‘til it settles inside to show

You hold the reigns and still the beast, though it pains ‘til its release 

6/6/13

 

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"Words, Thoughts and my Soul"

 

Sometimes there are words which emotions know not

and emotions which know no words

Sometimes my thoughts do not make into words

and my words don't match my thoughts

The truth of my words knows neither my heart nor my head

when my heart won't listen to my thoughts

So my thoughts scatter down and my soul wears a frown

without words to make sense of these things

 

6/28/13

Stutter, Sing and Grow

"Singing Night"

but what of angels' wings
and forlorn songs
where whisperings
float through the night
to caress the trees
and open you
to insightful things?
the inspiration I was seeking
came about within my needing
sitting in the woods and dreaming
might the night upon me singing
wake my soul into it's breathing
and carry me back to me?

5/21/13



::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Sputtering and Stuttering"

what a jumbled mess i am
in streams of thoughts
and paper pans
and holding signs that read no words
but gestures of what
cannot be heard
i am stuttering mentally
sputtering internally
on all this mess
these weary days i am unraveling
but who can say what shall come next?
what a jumbled mess i am
in screams of silence
with thrown up hands
and holding signs that stare back in white
with no words of what
shall ever be heard
i am stuttering mentally
sputtering internally
on all this forsaken mess
these lonely days i've been traveling
but who can say where i will end up next?

5/1/13

::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Grow"

Ashen carpet, darkened days
in rivulets left in the haze
those mournful times now let it be
just a portion of this history
for though the signs be startling
and changed upon and beneath
letting it be and letting it go
just wait for life again to grow

5/23/13

Reaching You in a Tree

"Reaching Out"

My knowledge comes from the edge of my hands
these fingers, not plans
my learning
where beauty and prose
meet purpose; I chose
to learn through reaching
out my hand
to know
the world

5/20/13

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Cardinal in my Tree"

There was this sight that I did see

Inside the leaves of the willow tree

A flash of red, what else could it be

But a cardinal in my favorite tree?

With feathers of red to catch my eye

And remind me of hopes from by and by

That little bird in my favorite tree

I should like to paint in ink on me

Inside the leaves of the willow tree

To remind me of hope for you and me 

5/13/13

 

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Be You"

give them a reason to stare
they'll stare anyway
give them a reason to talk
they'll talk anyway
they'll waste their time behind your back
so give them a reason so they won't lack
with things to say
and ways to pray
for your troubled soul they marked as such
and said you have gotten out of touch
and said you have fallen down a hole
and they all pray for your damned soul
give them a reason to stare
they will always stare away
give them a reason to talk
they'll waste time talking all day
but don't you worry your heart now
be who you are now

5/1/13

By: Elizabeth Azpurua


 

Angry Back and Forth

"Pendulum"

Pendulum you compared to
my back and forth
my fighting towards you
the angered fits
the quiet rage
the seeking you
the empty page
Pendulum this be true
my bi-polar self
my longing for you
the yearning tides
the grateful me
the happy days
and the empty
Be that I may be
this back and forth
comes again
and for what it's worth
I feel as though
I fight myself
because I know........
and then I don't

1/5/13

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"Anger"

it perches in your soul
if you feed it and give it wings
and it makes a nest and sings
but its song leaves a hole

1/4/13

The Day

Harold in the day that the day doesn't end
and the day that the world didn't stop
and bring about the day that we don't pretend
that we are all dying just to rot
Wake up that morning and tell them all the truth
no pretense, no softening of words
and let them know where you stand and where you go
you're not a sheep in their herds
Harold in the day that the day does begin
and the day where you love for real
and recognize the love of a friend
and learn again how you should feel
my tongue is at war with my ears
and my soul is waging battle with my heart
my mind is sinking slowly inside of my fears
and my body is yearning for some art
but though it be weary I keep going on
and waiting for the day when the day seems long
where the people don't follow like sheep to a cliff
and hope isn't just four letters and a 'what if'
Harold in the day that my day does begin
and the day that the world is brand new
and bring me a friend who doesn't pretend
like somebody else I once knew
my tongue is still at war with my ears
my soul still waging a battle with my heart
and slowly my mind is sinking inside of fears
yet my body is needing a new start
at life

December 12, 2012

"Twelve Stones"

Twelves roses in a vase and they all died and fell in crumpled remains
and upon the road I found twelve stones and gave them names
I filled the empty vase and set it out to remember what life is about
but stones don't smell like roses
Twelve days and I waited in silence once and felt the weight in me
and cried out twelve nights for peace to finally settle inside, please
but the weight of the pain was like stones in my soul and my soul
wasn't meant for stones at all
Twelve months and I knew it was coming to an end and it hurt
when I realized twelve months passed I tossed the stones in dirt
I threw the vase out and let it shatter like my heavy soul for
I don't want stones anymore

12/12/12

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"December"

It's blown in again, this colder wind
that settles in my bones and then
I just need a friend
The snow blows by in a grey sky
and there are times that I cry
for Spring at night
December is closer than November was
Yet December is just full of Santa Claus
and what I want are tulips and daffodils
not winter skies or snow capped hills
It's settled down again, this cold air
and it blows around inside my hair
with a chilly flare
The lights and trees all glow these days
with packages of bows and plays
and Jesus' name being praised
December is closer than November was
But I am already tired of Santa Claus
when what I want are Spring rains and budding trees
not waiting through the Winter wearing fleece

12/12/12

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"World Can't End"

The light in your eyes I cannot see
Nor feel your arms wrapped 'round me
Nor find you wrapped beneath my tree
Nor sleep at night with you by me
For miles apart and days and years
And with the mounting of fears
After having shed many tears
Are all of these alarming fears
That I will not see you again or
Hold you close needing more
Nor see you smiling at my door
While knowing I need you more
Because they say the world will end
Yet I hope that they pretend
It cannot end without you my friend
Please tell me they pretend
I wish your smile I could see
And feel your arms wrapped 'round me
The world can't end until this can be
It cannot end without you with me

12/12/12

The Fall of Rome

Take my fragile bony hands and lead me into the dark
and with me dance across this floor
like it is Central Park
and when I awake from this dream tear out my heart
and with it stitch my insides up
like macabre art
I want to hear your lullaby whispered in my ear
before you close them off
whisper softly Dear
When I am buried in the earth behind your home
remember the dance we shared
the fall of Rome
I want you to carry my hollow soul underneath your tongue
where each time you say my name
or air escapes a lung
You will remember my bony hands in a darkened room
where we danced across the floor
before I met my doom

by: elizabeth

Rock Bottom Dawn and Death Shoulders

"Little Deaths"

I don't know why we struggle as we do with broken hearts
Or why we carry the weight of past pains on our backs
but I know why we leave behind pieces and parts
and why there are deep stains in our tracks
For within each ache and hurt is a death of our soul
and we lose something we never gain back
with each little death there is left a small hole
a memory showing us what we now lack

7/24/12

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Bony Shoulders"

Her pale skin is not like alabaster, but more like plaster
or sun bleached earth
it seems quite pasty and flaky and speaks of death
Her bony shoulders and frail frame beguile
for she's an evil Dame
Her spirit is not one, but two, and each hold arrows
and each subdue
She walks along and drags a chain
the chain is made of bones unnamed, and from her wrists
she has the lives of many fallen to her lies
but as she goes, her pieces fall
and leave a trail of death
and she alone knows each by name
they no longer have life for breath
Her eyes are cold, her heart is green, her essence only that of mean
and when you see her
look away
for she will come back again for you someday


7/23/12


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


"Rock Bottom"


wrap the chain around my ankle
and wrap the rope about my wrist
tape my eyes closed forever
and rip my soul out with your fist
bury me beneath the lost dreams of my illusions
drown me in the broken moments of confusions
and end me and my all
and watch me as I fall
into rock bottom


sew my lips together with twine
and cement my feet to fall into the sea
change my name and what I am
and erase the traces of what was me
bury me beneath the lost dreams of my illusions
drown me in the broken moments of confusions
take me, take it all
and erase me as I fall
back into rock bottom


it's so stark and empty
and full of nothing new
a silence oh, so deadly
without a hopeful view
I will not break free from these chains
nor erase the past of pains
I cannot stand up
if you end me
with rock bottom


6/29/12


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


"Blame the Dawn"


I crawled over the ground, glass strewn around
while the sky
was breaking down
there was a sea inside of me
and a pitiful aching
and there was the dawn that came and took the night away
and you sailed away
and left me waiting
as I bled I turned to hating
like the poison ate at me
There was no hope but broken shards
and breaking hearts
and the morning sun
and I hated that my wishing stars had fled and run
You sailed away on a trip towards the distant light
and I alone with bleeding knees
learned my plight
I crawled away that fateful day and learned to hate
and let that part of me go, away the poison ate, and so
I have known something of the loss of hope
My wishing stars are now all gone
I blame the dawn
I blame the dawn




7/23/12