Roses Red

anger is a fist
anger is a scream
anger is a yell
a nightmare not a dream
don't ever ask them why
the angry often cry
anger hurts them both
anger doesn't lie

shatter all the moments
in record breaking time
angry at the loss
angry at the crime

let it out...
...shout

she said paint her roses red
she wanted them painted red
nothing mattered then
but that
'why aren't my roses red
did you hear what I had said?'
the moment came and went
at that

anger is a fist
anger is a scream
roses torn a part
by Alice in a dream
she doesn't know why
she began to cry
angry at the Queen
anger doesn't lie

the looking glass is shattered
in record breaking time
angry now and cross
angry at the crime

let it all out now
shout it all out now

roses remained white
such a bright sight
Alice left that night
she didn't want to fight

9/28/14

by: Elizabeth Azpurua

Won't See Me Dead

sit blowing smoke
cough, and choke
I see you wasting away
my iron fist inside this glove
wishes to push and shove
you right off your sofa

I saw the future once
Call me a freak with a psychic touch
I don't give a damn much
but this -
this was different, I know
his blue eyes told me so
but you don't care, I know, I know

so wrap yourself in a coma
high in a world of your mind
I will battle while you on the sofa
sit wrapped in smoke half blind
I will put on my armor
to fight for my future
what I saw I believe
even if you can't conceive
of such things

sit blowing smoke,
sitting there broke
wasting your days
but my inner resolution
is seeking a solution
to let all this go

But my anger is kindled
while your time you have swindled

Call me a freak with a psychic touch
I don't give a damn much
but this -
this was different, I know
his blue eyes told me so
but you don't care, I know, I know

so wrap yourself in a coma
high in a world of your mind
I will battle while you on the sofa
sit wrapped in smoke half blind
I will put on my armor
to fight for my future
what I saw I believe
even if you can't conceive
of such things
in my dreams

I can't deny
nor try
so I'll cry
yet one day, perhaps I'll see
sense made to me
I will not waste my determination
he was not a figment of my imagination
the future is a destination

so stay in a coma
high in your mind
sprawled on your sofa
because you're blind
I in my armor
eyes set ahead
know that my future
won't see me dead
won't see me dead
won't see me dead

by: Elizabeth Azpurua

The Autumn Grief is the Swords of Winter

swords of winter come I know
to cut my insides out
your wielding arm should show
me, I am doomed
no doubt;
the ravens cry, the sentinels stand
to testify of this plan
where I shall falter in the broken branches
and find a hollow hand;
breathless, enchanted moments gone
erase the place we laid;
upon an alter I will be done
like I'm a torn out page -
subtle rage
accounted for but not numbered or named;
you listen in but do not speak
watching like a ghost in the corner
but you leave me weak -
you never speak -
shout it out! levy my anger,
sell it to a devil in the dark;
let him eat for all of winter;
he can ignite that spark;
inside I'm waiting to unfurl
but my soul feels hollow;
the whispers of the wind they say
remind me again tomorrow
when the leaves all whirl
in a whirlwind of rage
to mark the moments of
my forgotten age,
and you will stand, tall
and sure and dark
like a stone stacked wall
washed clean and stark;
I will stand below in tangled trees
with cuts on arms and
scraped up knees
clad in leaves;
the air will be cold and smell of doom
like it always has before,
when the swords of winter cut me down
to settle their score;
my soul feels hollow like a worn out tree
in a forest of forgotten things
settled on the fact that I shall be
killed by you mercilessly
oh, the autumn grief;
darkened, doomed, devil's den -
listen, but never speak again;
if words are meant for waking carrion
I shall never wake again

By: Elizabeth Azpurua
9/27/13

Tapestry

...there need not be, this apathy
nor this need to come out angrily
like you perceive this sinful thing
when there's no sin inside loving
so shelter your woes and hold your head
while stomping on the words we've said
but better yet, come take our hands
together tightening loving strands
...but you shall carry those battle flags
signs with words that rhyme with rags
like you perceive this sinful thing
where there's no sin inside loving
so shatter your reservations and move on
instead of mocking these folks for wrong
far better is to come take our hands
together tightening loving strands
...for what are these claims and these shouts?
nothing but hate, displays of your inner doubts
like you perceive this sinful thing
when there's no sin inside loving
so shrug off this nonsense upon you now
let go of hurting and reclaim your vow
to love and to take our hands
together tightening loving strands
of this tapestry we all call life

By: Elizabeth Azpurua

Angry Back and Forth

"Pendulum"

Pendulum you compared to
my back and forth
my fighting towards you
the angered fits
the quiet rage
the seeking you
the empty page
Pendulum this be true
my bi-polar self
my longing for you
the yearning tides
the grateful me
the happy days
and the empty
Be that I may be
this back and forth
comes again
and for what it's worth
I feel as though
I fight myself
because I know........
and then I don't

1/5/13

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Anger"

it perches in your soul
if you feed it and give it wings
and it makes a nest and sings
but its song leaves a hole

1/4/13

Running Shoes

Darling, don't be so sad

I don't want to be the reason

I just want to change your mind

and tell you so

Darling, you don't run fast

but each time I get close

You start running and I

just don't want it so

 

Don't make me the reason

you put on your running shoes

and run, run, run, runaway from me

Don't make this an issue

that you have to put on your shoes

and run, run, run, runaway from me

Don't make me a reason to start

running

 

Darling, don't be angry

I don't want to be the why

I just want to help you up

and stand by you

Darling, you get so sad

each time I get close

You want to get away from me

oh, but what did I do to you?

 

Don't make me the reason

you put on your running shoes

and run, run, run, runaway from me

Don't make this an issue

that you have to put on your shoes

and run, run, run, runaway from me

Don't make me a reason to start

running

 

Darling, I'm sorry if I make you scared

Darling, I'm sorry if you think I don't care

Just let me tell you, tell you how

much I could love you right now

Don't be sad, or angry, just let me

show you before you are running

I don't know how to keep you here

when you're putting on those shoes, dear

 

Don't make me the reason

you put on your running shoes

and run, run, run, runaway from me

Don't make this an issue

that you have to put on your shoes

and run, run, run, runaway from me

Don't make me a reason to start

running

 

Darling, please don't keep running

 

 

The Red Bird Costume

I have tied red ribbons around these wrists of mine
and I have draped my body in red feathers fine
I have worn a mask made of paper sail boat remnants
from a sunken ship of hope hanging on in fragments
I have walked waterlogged and soggy after dark
with broken shoes through a forgotten foggy park
where my little feathers fell beneath an old swing
like a scarlet songbird had stopped there to sing
I have gazed at the moon and felt melancholy woe
where glinting off the barren ground atop the snow
lay the echoes of my costume in a shredded crimson pile
of feathers and ribbons and a mask of crumpled style
I have dripped mascara into a bright red sash
and thrown away paper wings right into the trash
I have screamed at the sequins and glitter on the ground
with an alarming, sad, and most dreadful sound
I have left a trail of red all along that cheerful place
like a morbid bird died there wearing a paper face
I have torn off the ribbons once tied in bows on my wrists
and smashed apart a paper mask with my angry fists
where not a trace of once loved boats remained in the mess
to tell the tale of hope and what the mask could express
I have shredded the feathers like a panther shreds its prey
and I have left a glitter trail in crimson all along the way
I have walked across the park to a river with frozen toes
dragging one last remnant of the symbol of my woes
I have tossed the scarlet dress into the river bitter and cold
and stood with shivering bones like one now deathly old
and I have turned from the water and walked in freezing skin
towards a silver garbage can to see what might lie within
I have found a ruined jacket with patches and with holes
that reminded me of myself and all my hopeless roles
I have walked away long after dark wearing just a coat
grasping a crumpled piece of paper that had once been a boat
leaving behind a park that seemed a grave for red songbirds
telling a story of a broken heart without any words

8/4/12

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Blasphemy and the Funambulist

Blasphemy, Lord of Apathy
turned away from me
inside of the circus tent
Calls the lions now
they gather around
and says to them all,
"Behold the cursed who shall fall"
Like I am unable to understand the words
Like I am simple and dazed and cursed
Oh, Lord of Apathy you don't know me
high above I walk along the smallest space
teetering and so high up I cannot see a face
Inside the circus tent
the lions roam about
they gather around
and told to them all
"Behold the cursed who shall fall"
I am the hapless funambulist high above
see me walk alone treading careful in love
but the Lord of Apathy does not know me
turns away from me now
and takes a bow
like he knows I will fall soon......
I am the funambulist walking the narrow way
looking not below but here I shall stay
careful, careful, careful in love teetering high above
Blasphemy, Lord of Apathy
turned away from me
inside of the circus tent
Calls the lions now
they gather around
and says to them all,
"Behold the cursed who shall fall"
Like I am unable to understand the words
Like I am simple and dazed and cursed
and then, one, two, three, four
they wait below on the floor
one, two, three and they see
I do not fall, blasphemy
I do not fall, blasphemy
How? they ask in their utter certainty
Proclaimed! they said the curse was proclaimed upon me
Lord of Apathy looks up at me now
with all the lions gathered around
in disbelief and calling out the worst
for knowing now that no, I'm not cursed
I was the hapless funambulist on my own each day
no longer unlucky I follow the narrow way
high above I walk a tiny space for love
and never do I fall
no, I do not fall
Blasphemy, Lord of Apathy
turned away from me
inside of the circus tent
and the lions now
still gathered around
turn upon each other in their angered state
knowing now a fall was not my fate

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Truth, You Are No Friend of Mine

Truth, you are no friend of mine
You are not honest, nor are you kind
You burn me down in your lies
Truth, you are no friend of mine

I have burned at your scoffing words
Down in flames you engulfed my world
Truth, you might as well have never let me
Even try to hold myself above your lies

Truth, you are no friend of mine
You are not honest, nor are you kind
You burn me down in your lies
Truth, you are no friend of mine

I have been belittled and beguiled by you
Here, I had thought you would be real, Truth
But no, you let me die in my burning anger
I cannot see through all your lies

Truth, you are no friend of mine
You are never honest nor ever kind
You keep burning me in all your lies
You were never, ever a friend of mine

So let me down easy, slow, let me down
Stop this suffering now
Truth, won't you let me go now?
You just want to watch me burn down

Truth, you are no friend of mine
You are not honest, you are not kind
You tricked me well with your disguise
But Truth, you were never a friend of mine
Truth, you are no friend of mine

By Elizabeth Azpurua

1/18/12

Nothing Happy Here, Move Along Now Flightless Bird

ledges are for stopping
not for the jumping I do from them
and arms are for grabbing
not for trying to fly with them
legs are for running
they aren't landing gear
and we're meant for falling
that's what we should fear

4/8/11


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

if i attempt breathing with this
weight on me
i might sink my soul like an
anchor in the sea
i might forever remain in the
darkest of places
where there is no glory
nor smiling faces
if i attempt to continue like this
i won't realize i'll never be his

4/8/11


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

why don't you just tear my heart
out and eat it right
in front of
me?
then maybe I will realize my death
was always what you
sought when you
looked right
through
me


4/8/11

Burn Up Love Like This

"Gasoline"

I know you're aching, hurting, fighting
needing, wanting, longing; it's frightening
the future dark, dim, cold, turn on the light
I have the car keys
let's drive
I know it's maddening this life we lead
come and pull up the weeds
and end this
It's burning, scorching, up, up in flames; it's over
And you're standing in the remains
Why is it so damn complicated?
I don't know, dark and cold
let's create a bonfire
I'm waiting here
spreading the gasoline
I want an explosion
someone light the match
It's frustrating, you're aching, he's screaming
she's bleeding
It's a mess we weave into knots; and I'm cold
dark, alone, and like stone we settle
don't settle
I say let's leave together
but this life holds me back

2/23/11

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Mirage Called Love"

She choked you
brought you to your knees
in satin and pearls shaped like bullets
She made you beg her
need her, want her
and you turned the other cheek
all you became is for her stepping
your back is for her feet
Stupid boy, she doesn't love you
Stupid boy, she never did
Stupid boy, just stand and shake her
but you're too much a gentleman
He broke you
brought you to your knees
in leather and smokescreens and illusions
He made you need him
want him, feel him
and you burned for his touch
just like the fool in love too rough
Stupid girl, he doesn't love you
Stupid girl, he never did
Stupid girl, just turn and leave him
but you're not enough of a woman
You dumb fools, let go, let go and move on
you dumb fools, this love is all too wrong
They hold your heart strings
And they end your breathing
All for what?
For a mirage called love

By Elizabeth Azpurua 2/23/11

Spin Over the Canyon

“Done and Over”

So I’m the one to blame now, huh?
And I guess you want your way now, huh?
Well you better shut your mouth hun, I don’t play these games
And I won’t bend over backwards
I’m done
So I screwed it all up for you, I see
And you are blaming it all on me
But I won’t listen to a thing you say, a word you hold to
Shut up I’m through
I’m over it
You can't blame every little stupidity on someone else
You should look for the blame inside of yourself
I really don’t care if you cry or you scream
And I don’t care if this all ruins your dreams
It’s not my problem
It never was
So grow up and grow a pair
Learn to fix your only problems, dear
And get a life that’s not attached to mine
I don’t have the time for you or the patience to put up with you
I am so through
I’m done
And over it now


1/22/11
 
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 
"Spin The Wheel"
 
the more we go the worse it gets
the longer time the more "forgets"
the wasted moments, mountain high
like we had tried to reach the sky
but better still the hard to place
thoughts we can never even trace
the endings we had never tied
and all these days we have lied
we tell ourselves it's all OK
like fools confused; go away
run from the knowlege you forgot
i'll try to place what i haven't got
and as time goes i can barely see you
it's all fading; but what is left true?
build a plane for me, my lover
somehow forget we had another
long before this; spin the wheel
and tell me what do you feel?
the problem with time is it all fades away
but i am sure i recall it all this way
 
1/27/11
 
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 
“Canyon”
 
It hurts most days I wake up
And it aches before I sleep
And it haunts inside my dreams but I can’t shake this
You were just what I never looked at
And then suddenly everything I really needed
But there’s a canyon
In-between you and I

I wake most days with no luck
And it continues through the week
It’s the horrible cycle I repeat and I can’t shake it
You were not what I’d expected
But you became the reason I wanted to be
But there’s a canyon
Still between you and me

And I can’t fly and I can’t jump and I can’t build a bridge
And you won’t try when it’s not enough because of this
But I wanted so bad now
Yet it doesn’t matter now, I see
Because this canyon is always going to be
Between you and me
1/22/11



By Elizabeth Azpurua

Taken By You to the Sea of the Universe

"Taken By You"

months are counted, days are numbered
all these words have part of you
every space of hope is taken
every part is filled with you
not a second goes by wasted
every breath contains a thought of you
if I could regain the lost time
it'd return fine, but full of you
moments gathered, memories treasured
all these times spent with you
every smile is somewhere counted
by the memories held of you
and not an ounce of me is untouched
for it's all because of you
and everything is where I'll hope to be
when I'm standing next to you
I'll keep this going strong
every space of hope is taken by you

10/12/10

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Sea of the Universe"

he tries to spread the doubt
and pull the heart strings
cause the hating, the anger, the hurt
and all the remorse
he tries to wear me thin
and pushes and pulls
and breaks in; from anger, hurt
and worse
if I could push him away forever
I'd toss him into the sea of the universe
he'd never try to change my thoughts of you
or what I know is true
I know it's true
he is trying now, trying now
spreading the doubt around
he is hoping now, he is hoping now
he'll wear me down
and I'll not stick around
but no, no, no I will break free
I will be free from all this doubt and worse
there'll be no anger, hurt or remorse
I am not regretting you
I am not forgetting you
he is trying now, trying now, trying now
spreading dread and fear around
he wants to bring me down
pull me down
wear me out until I'm breaking down
but I wish I could make him go away
toss him into the sea of the universe
I won't let him change my thoughts of you
or what I know is true
I know it's true
I'm not regretting you, nor forgetting you
never letting go of you
he won't bring me down
or wear me out
anymore

10/12/10

by me

Angry and Sick the Caster Casts a Net My Way

"Sick Minded"

i am sick with anger
like vomit
like bile
this taste upon my tongue becomes
my poison
i have dealt you pain here
to cease your voice
and while
you shrivel inward; the sight becomes
my absolution

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


I get so tired of the lack of care, as if I don't exist, don't matter, I am unimportant, useless, forgotten...
Am I a reason to walk on by?
I'm trying to put lanterns up to light your way and you shred them angry, and raged, and I wonder why, oh why in the world do I put myself through this?
Is it ok to simply walk by me and pretend I am nothing more than the wall of this building? Is it ok to look right through me as if I am a specter, a figment of your imagination, an illusion of someone you don't give a damn about?
Am I really so unimportant?
Is my voice like a nail piercing your ears? Are my hands like knives seeking your skin? Are my eyes like caverns leading you down?
Do you envision me captive inside of my shell or out on the mountains speaking out nonsense? For surely my existence means nothing to you and you'd rather believe no importance.
I cannot stand sitting here knowing that you never cared and that I've been the fool all along.
I cannot sit smiling pretty and pretending I'm happy when I'm angry because I'm not only wrong, but I have been a fool all this time presuming I meant more to you then a speck lost in the carpet of your floor.
I have smiled my last smile for you, laughed my last laugh with you, and given my last damn for you.
When you wonder, if you ever wonder where I'm at, I hope you get lost seeking me out.
I was never good enough for your company.
Nor do I now wish to be.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Caster"

Oh, caster cast your last net my way
Reel me in like I am lost at sea
and steal a kiss from my lips
breathe the breath of life in me
Caster in your boat made of hope
carry me through this pain I bear
and rescue me from the troublesome
wrap me in love like a coat I'll wear
Oh, caster cast your last net my way
I might be all you wished to capture
And as the sun sets upon these waves
Steal a kiss from my lips to enrapture
Caster in your boat made of hope
My savior sailing these seas
Give me life back and take me ashore
Answerer of my pleas

All by elizabeth azpurua

Hurting the Enemy

"It Hurts..."

It hurts
like a knife through me, not just through my heart
but my core
it sickens me
and I wish to beg to make it stop
and it won't
I'm falling through this, gasping
dying
Like bits of me are slowly being pulled away
and burned
and I can't even speak


8/6/10

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Enemy"

I'd like to nail you to a tree
I'd like to drown you in the sea
The enemy is you, is me
the enemy of you is me
I'd like to sit and watch you bleed
I'd like you to beg, to plead
The enemy is you, is me
the enemy of you is me
I'd like to end you in all things
I'd like to forget the pain it brings
The enemy of you is me
You made me your enemy

By elizabeth azpurua

Unspoken Past Anger Here

"Scorch the Past"


after the hurricane
the aftermath
the selfish pain
the ending tides of tidal waves and the
rush of voices screamed
the fires all had ceased with flame
the leftovers
discarded shame
and smoke had filled the rooms
where all the hopes had bled
but now I'm going to
kindle flames
and start the fires to burn
like wildfire and brimstone
and scorch the past


5/26/10


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


"Anger Represented Here"


what is the point anymore
when you don't pay attention here
and that toadstool you sit upon
is rotting out
and the air around your head
is blue and green and grey
and every motion of your mouth
just sickens me?
there isn't a point at all now
and no need to mention anything
for the remainder of your days
is spent while high
and that rotting toadstool is your dream
and the haven of your selfish stupidity
while every other living thing
just walks away


5/17/10


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


"Unspoken Unanswered"
discarded photos in a photo book
and a nasty taste in my mouth
and somehow words still unspoken
are waiting to come out
I wanted to...but the words failed
discarded dreams in a dream journal
and a tear or two never shed
and so many questions unanswered
turn circles inside of my bed
I wanted to speak...but cannot


5/27/10
by elizabeth azpurua