Friday, August 20, 2010

Angry and Sick the Caster Casts a Net My Way

"Sick Minded"

i am sick with anger
like vomit
like bile
this taste upon my tongue becomes
my poison
i have dealt you pain here
to cease your voice
and while
you shrivel inward; the sight becomes
my absolution


I get so tired of the lack of care, as if I don't exist, don't matter, I am unimportant, useless, forgotten...
Am I a reason to walk on by?
I'm trying to put lanterns up to light your way and you shred them angry, and raged, and I wonder why, oh why in the world do I put myself through this?
Is it ok to simply walk by me and pretend I am nothing more than the wall of this building? Is it ok to look right through me as if I am a specter, a figment of your imagination, an illusion of someone you don't give a damn about?
Am I really so unimportant?
Is my voice like a nail piercing your ears? Are my hands like knives seeking your skin? Are my eyes like caverns leading you down?
Do you envision me captive inside of my shell or out on the mountains speaking out nonsense? For surely my existence means nothing to you and you'd rather believe no importance.
I cannot stand sitting here knowing that you never cared and that I've been the fool all along.
I cannot sit smiling pretty and pretending I'm happy when I'm angry because I'm not only wrong, but I have been a fool all this time presuming I meant more to you then a speck lost in the carpet of your floor.
I have smiled my last smile for you, laughed my last laugh with you, and given my last damn for you.
When you wonder, if you ever wonder where I'm at, I hope you get lost seeking me out.
I was never good enough for your company.
Nor do I now wish to be.



Oh, caster cast your last net my way
Reel me in like I am lost at sea
and steal a kiss from my lips
breathe the breath of life in me
Caster in your boat made of hope
carry me through this pain I bear
and rescue me from the troublesome
wrap me in love like a coat I'll wear
Oh, caster cast your last net my way
I might be all you wished to capture
And as the sun sets upon these waves
Steal a kiss from my lips to enrapture
Caster in your boat made of hope
My savior sailing these seas
Give me life back and take me ashore
Answerer of my pleas

All by elizabeth azpurua

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