Bright Edged Sword

Told that the devil has you in his grasp
That a demon holds you near
Told that a waiting storm to judge you soon
Is what you ought to fear
Told to be better
Told to be right
Told to straighten up
Let go of your pride
Told to be silent
Told to be still
Told to tone it down
You say you never will

Battle on with a bright edged sword
Like a butterfly in June
Don't let them cut your wings
Don't let them steal your right
Shine like the sun, like the moon
Battle on with a bright edged sword
All the colors running free
Don't let them paint you grey
Don't let them shut you down
You were meant to be happy

Oh, I bet they told you, told you, told you
Told that the devil has you in his grasp
That a demon holds you near
Told that a waiting storm to judge you soon
Is what you ought to fear
Told to be better
Told to be right
Told to straighten up
Let go of your pride
Told to be silent
Told to be still
Told to tone it down
You say you never will

I've been there out on the edge
I've been laced with rage
I've been afraid, sorrowing and faint
And I've turned another page

Battle on with a bright edged sword
Like a butterfly in June
Don't let them cut your wings
Don't let them steal your right
Shine like the sun, like the moon
Battle on with a bright edged sword
All the colors running free
Don't let them paint you grey
Don't let them shut you down
You were meant to be happy



Elizabeth Azpurua

Wake or Break in Wind

"Break in Wind"

So strange, this time
it's like a shadow fist took out my mind
and I've gone blind
for a time
So wrong, our end
it's like whirlwind took away my only friend
should I bend
or break in wind?
Where do dreamers go to face head on their end?
I can't speak in the cold air
the leaves are falling, trees weeping everywhere
and I should care
but it's unfair how my mind is blank and I can't share
the way I faired
when we had erred
and who was scared
but I?

10/23/13

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"Over and Done and Broken"

Bastard, you took me down for what?
I'm tired of sad poetry and giving up
I'm tired of trying when it's never enough
I'm tired when the road is always rough
Where the hell is my ending that is labeled with "happy"?
Where the hell is the top of this blasted hill?
I am over and done and broken and still
I keep attempting to be what they want me to be

Bastard, you broke my heart just because
It hurts like hell, but trust me it always does
I'm tired of aching inside with broken trust
like my soul is escaping, my whole life a bust
and there's no damn happy ending in sight anywhere
Where the hell is the top of this blasted hill?
I'm over and done and broken and still
I keep attemtping to try to love and to care
For what?
I don't know....
....I don't know

11/9/13

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Wake Yourself"

Ever greet the day with strange nostalgia?
Find it hard to wake yourself from reveries
And wishing that you lived in memories?
Triumphant that the day is not longer
Because its hard enough to focus when awake
Wishing for just a moment you could take
A step back in time
11/4/13

Elizabeth Azpurua

Artist and Watercolor

"If I were an Artist"

If I were a sculptor I'd carve you in stone
and chisel you out a mouth
and place you in my home
and you'd stare back at me
and you'd smile just for me
and I'd forever be lucky to see
you carved happy
If I were a painter I'd paint you on canvas
and color you like the spring
and place you in my home
where you'd stare back at me
and you'd smile just for me
and I'd forever get to see
a painting of happy
If I were a poet I'd write a poem for you
and tell the world what I love
and place you in me home
and capture in words the feeling of you smiling
and tell them what it means when you smile for me
and I'd capture forever in words that I'm happy
a poem of happy
I'd write just for you
Oh, if I were an artist, I'd be able to keep
forever the memory of you happy with me

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Autumn Watercolor Golds"

At the dawn on the road I await it
the fog to settle and sit
and the autumn rains to come
and wet the leaves like watercolor golds
I await the deepest reds and
I want to number the oranges
and capture in colors
while wearing my coat
the feeling of Autumn and
what I love most
and run, run, run, run, run
in the fog and the autumn rains
and watch the world become
watercolor golds
and when I stop and stare
I want to see standing there
a home waiting to welcome me

Amazed I Wait at Home at Night

"Waiting Home"

Slow down darling, you are too young to be so scared
Why are you crying? there is love everywhere
I am waiting here, like a guardian today
and when you come home I will remain this way
oh, why are you fearful? the world is new to you
come now, be cheerful, there is a place still for you
I will find some way some how some better day
don't be worried and don't be so afraid
I am working this all out and by the time you get home
I will have it figured out and it'll all be known
Isn't life grand if you can just give it a chance?

:::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Color Us Night"

My color is blue and your color is grey
Color the night like it might always stay
Give us the stars and paint the way in golden lights
Capture the moon and color it new
I want to behold forever only ever you
Give me the stars and paint up my life with golden light
I quite like watching the stars
I quite like seeing you smile
yet my color is blue and remains so blue
and you, you, you, you are grey

Color me yellow and color you night
Color us to match the world so alive
Give us the stars and paint the way for us in golden lights
Capture the moon and name it for truth
I want it to be named after only you
Give me the stars and paint up my life with golden light
I am counting the stars
Just to see you smile
But my color is blue, is blue, blue like day
and you, you, you, you, you're still grey
like the stormy day, ah, the day

Color us night, darkness and night
Color us to blend in to the twilight
Give us the stars and parade on our hearts those golden lights
Give us the moon and it is named for you
Let it proclaim only the truth, the truth
Give me the stars and paint my life right with golden light
I will name the stars
I will see you smile
And I will be like the night with you, with you
and you, you, you, you, you will be the moon

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Amazed"

I see the new day, I see the new dawn
I see the new way I will write a new song
I will be the new one, the better, the happy
I will be the one to say I am finally free
I will write you a story and a message to share my thanks
and I will bless you and help you all along your way
I am indebted by you and by all that you contain
You are amazing
Quite frankly, no one compares and ever will
You just are that extraordinary
How can anyone harm you?
I do not know, all I know is you have the magic
and I will write for you and I will write for you
I see the new day, I see the new dawn
I see the new way I will write a new song
Ahead of me a pathway
and it leads to new days
and I thank you the whole way, I thank you the whole way
You amaze me

Endless Ocean Running Out

"Endless Ocean"

Follow me back down to the endless ocean
and swim with me to drown in the endless ocean


I am traveling through the essence of all the tears earth has cried
and you were just a mirage in the seaweed, a ghost trying to hide


I am looking through the murky water upward seeing sun
and I don't want to reach up to feel it anymore
there is nothing but the cold, deep, dark ocean floor
I am done and do not want to surface to feel the sun


I will lay on the depth of the ocean floor and hide
and feel the weight of memory of all that I cried


and live forever as bones at the bottom of this ocean
like a sunk ship I will rest in peace in the endless ocean


7/10/12


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Time is Running Out"

vibrancy, is what i sought
the fire inside the word and the thought
and here i am waiting
but waiting in vain as time is running
out


7/11/12

Take it All

I try to write happy songs
try to write happy poems
try to write stories with hope

I tried to be happy girl
full of hope for a better world
but I can't anymore

Take it all, take it all with you
Break me apart, I cannot stop you
You have me all, all of me, you do
It's been you for so long, it's been you

I try to be positive
and write of goodness
and write of the better days

I try to be an upbeat girl
for the betterment of my world
but I can't lie anymore

Take it all, take it all for you
Break me apart 'cuz I won't stop you
You have me all, all of me, you still do
It's been you all along, it's been you

I am bruised and scarred and you mended me
Than you tore me apart and you ended me
Then you pulled me back to a better me
So you could break me, break this new me

Take me all, take me all for you
Break me again since I can't stop you
You have me all, all of me, you always do
It's been you this long, it's been you

I try to write happy words
happy poems
of happy girls
I try to write to be good

I try to be a hopeful girl
to enlighten my whole world
but it's a lie inside anymore
I am over now for you

I Miss You

Yesterday, I had a story to tell
come today, I had two more
I have all these things bursting out from me
but I can't tell you
You don't need me to

You got your own days and your own ways
Your own problems and solutions
You got your own stories you can tell
I cannot tell mine well

So, I go on trying, but I'm failing sometimes
I want to tell you little things that are on my mind
But I let them go...
Because I know
you don't need them
Even though
I want to show
that I'm missing

I am missing you, no matter, no matter
what I do
I am missing you with eyes wide open
I am missing you when I sleep and when I dream
I just want to talk
but I can't speak

Yesterday, there was something I meant to say
but come the time it seemed to have slipped my mind
I have all these moments I would like to share
but I don't tell you
you don't need me to

You go through your days different from my ways
Dealing with problems with new solutions
You got your own stories and you share them well
but mine, I rarely ever tell

So, I go on smile on my face and tell you the funny things
but only the big, important ones do I ever bother repeating
I let the others go...
Because I know
you don't want them
Even though
I need to show
that I'm missing

I am missing you, no matter, no matter
what I do
I am missing you with eyes wide open
I am missing you when I sleep and when I dream
I just want to talk
but I can't speak
No, I can't speak

So, I try to hide the fact that I miss you
I try to share the only things you want me to
But all these little silly things that come to mind
they get forgotten for all of time

Yesterday, I had a dream of you
I didn't share it
it wasn't important
Yesterday, I heard from you
You seem happy
I'm glad you're happy
Yesterday, I had a horrible day
But I didn't tell you
You didn't need me to
Yesterday, I couldn't write stories
this is not like me
but I am missing

I am missing you, no matter, no matter
what I do
I am missing you with eyes wide open
I am missing you when I sleep and when I dream
I just want to talk to you
but I can't speak to you
No, I can't speak to you
but I miss you

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Winds of Change

The winds of change are blowing through and everything is taking on a different hue
What once filled me full of glad is leaving me somewhat sad
The place I set aside for hope is left with a dangling rope
and the eyes I wished to see each day seem farther and farther and farther away
Oh, what will come within this breeze?
A softer, gentler, kind of ease?
Or shall I toil and fight for gain and battle harsh and bitter rain?
I fear my soul is floating on to a fresh and greener lawn
where on that other side I'll see the things that were meant for me
Yet, here is but a dangling rope where once had been a place of hope
Here is sorrow covering glad and smothering me in 'always sad'
I wish to find a happier place
and perhaps a happier face
I hope these winds of change bring peace
Oh, what will come within this breeze?


by: me

Shot the Kaleidscope for Happy?

"Shot"

bullet in the dark
i consult your intentions
poke at you with a metaphorical fork
you seem to be colored in something like crimson
perhaps it's poison
you seem to have left a trail
you leave behind a stain
and in my chest I feel pain
what are you?

9/16/11

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"You Sound Like Happy"

if all i can remember is your laugh
that is all i need
that is all i will hear haunt my dreams
if all i can hold to is your happiness
i will feel joy for you
i will feel better knowing the truth
if only laughter were enough to stop the earth
i would claim a moment or two
to carve into my eardrums the sweetest sound
it's the sound of you

9/16/11

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"Kaleidoscope"

They broke me long ago
this you didn't know, this you didn't know
Then you came and told me to stand
told me the remnants of my being were mine to keep
so I remade myself in fragments of glass
and you made me feel beautiful
and useful
and different to the eyes
you made of me a marvel
If you only realized
Prismatic is my heart now, love
contained in changing lights

9/16/11

Kept Away From the Trees

She wakes each day
pulls herself together
Smears the happy across her skin
and puts her peices together
She goes by and smiles along
carries the tune to a song
He is elsewhere doing his work
not ever writing his wrong
He had promised, promised, promised
He had promised to be
there by her side when she needed him there
but he didn't stop her, did he?
She was driving, driving so fast
trees seemed to be a perfect end
Was he there to tell her "no"
No, he was not there to mend
So, now who stopped her from such a thing?
Who was the savior for her?
It was a ruddy boy who knew not
but what he offered her
Happiness, he offered a dream
so she held onto that
and he delivered oh, such a thing
but she could not know what she had
For she wakes each day
pulls her self upright
struggles to just wake up
and go for the light
And she goes by day after day
holding that memory
that kept her away
from the trees
from the trees
So play the song, play the tune, play it long
Play that melody to keep you strong
Happiness is but a dream away
a memory
of that October day

By Elizabeth Azpurua 5/14/11

Holding Happiness like Only You Can

"Only You Can"

only you can say
my name
and still my soul with
the letters spelled
out
only you can keep
silent
and break my soul with
the words you
withheld
only you can know
my pain
and make my day with
words that cheer me
up
only you can say
my name
and make me ache
to know why you say
it such as
you do

5/7/11

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Hold happiness in my palms
Hold it close
Safe from harm
Keep it locked up
Locked up inside
I don't want to hide, but I don't want to lose it
Gonna treasure it
Hold it safe like a delicate
vase
No breaking, falling, no shattering
my happy
I am quietly marveling at it
Keep the doors here locked
keep it safe from harm
I don't want to have to sound this alarm
I have grasped it close
and held it so
I don't want to let this happiness go

5/2/11

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Too Late at the Edge For You Bringing Spring

"To Me You They'll Bring"

If I take a moment
to imagine you
I see a street sign
and a sky of blue
I see it marked west and leading
but where to?
but where to?
I follow roads, paths, and pointed signs
I follow maps, and feelings, and lines
I never quite get back to you
Lover, where have you gone to?
I shall take a moment to imagine you
I see your smile, hear your laugh, see your eyes
I see the way I was happy in happier times
I am holding to the image, like it's scarred upon me
Star crossed lovers we were, but what shall we be?
This world is pulling
This world is cold
This world too confusing
while I'm growing old
I shall send out a signal to the heavens this Spring
and I shall hope to me you they'll bring

4/20/11

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"The Edge of Strong"

September, you were golds, you were summer colors fading away
bringing in the month of golden waves and ruddy tree lines
It was fun, so very fun, while it lasted
But it ended........again
Come the cooler month where we give thanks, I was feeling like
I might crumble
Seeing dirt, dark, and rubble
Then, yes, December came
I was nearly done
So close to being done
I could not feel that warmth and cheer
There was nothing to hold to
The new year was so cold, it was like I'd never know happiness again
Boarded up and snowed in
Winter has seemed so long
I know now the edge of where I'm strong
but Spring, bless you Spring
Bloom for me in hope and happiness
like promises
Bloom, bloom for me in greens
I am needing the promise of happier things
It's been too long
It's been so long
and I've reached the edge of strong

4/20/11
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"10 Months Too Late"


Today...I woke in a mess and I was broken
too much stress, words unspoken
I'm so battle scarred
full of glares for my reflection
And while, while I drove too fast on these winding roads
Trees and houses passed me by blurring, oh
I realized one thing I never thought of before now
When I fell in love with you it was summertime, it's true
And I was seeing someone else then, someone fast and high and Mr. Fine
But he made me see you in a different light
Oh, but it was later I gained sight to finally see what was in front of me
And realized then that I loved you
But, oh but, oh but, I was 10 months too late dicovering
And there was nothing I could do, there was no recovering
Today...I discovered so much honesty, bleeding out of me
and I'm waking up to know where I have been
All the images blurred passed me fast, all the memories of the past
and I realized I'd loved you for so long, so very long
It took me 10 months to realize this and I think it's so wrong, I should have known
And then another 11 months to tell you so
Yes, I'm an oblivious fool, yes, I'm a riduculous fool
But today I discovered all of this....
...so tell me why, oh tell me why...
Why did it take me 10 months to realize?


4/19/11

All By Elizabeth Azpurua

We're Done Now, Bird

"Guess This One Is Called Done"

I've been digging my own grave
I'm almost nearly done
I've been tied up as your slave
Bound to the things never done
I can barely even breathe
I know that I am almost done
My death is slowly nearing
Then it'll all be over and done
So very done
I've been laid out in this hole
Now I'm over and I'm done
You hold my heart and my soul
Destroyed both now it's done
So here is my death for you
Hold the guilt now that it's done
Nothing left to hold onto
Over and done, over and done

4/18/11

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"Fanciful Bird"

I spin inside the darkness and the shadows and the cold
It's hard to get out of bed
You were the thing that got me through the dark times
a happy little emotional head upon your shoulders
you would smile and light up my world
Where did you go? Where have you ran away to?
Was my dark and dreary world too much for you, my fanciful bird?
I was swallowing the fears, the doubts, the losses
and you were walking the streets to fame
how I'd uphold your name....but no, you walked away
into the horizon of the happy ones and when you wake each
day you spring right out of bed
I spin inside my darkness and my shadows in the cold
and I can't get out of my bed
I can't get out of my head
You were the only thing that made my world all bright and new
and I was giddy, and high, and happy and light
and I'm nothing of the sort without you
Where did you run away to?
I'm sorry my world was to dreary for you, my fanciful bird
I should have known it would be too dark for you

4/18/11

Birds Are Singing Your Name

Inside the sun, beneath the clouds
I want to scream your name out loud
Tell all the birds of your sweet face
And how you fell from outer space
How you have graced us with your essence
And the world had then received a present
I'll tell them all to sing of your name
And how nothing will be the same
If you should leave they'll sing a mourning song
And they'll say that surely something went wrong
For the sunlight contained your smile
And all the magic bottle up a while
Burst forth in Spring to wake the world and set it right
And without you there would be no pearly moonlight
You made the world a place of majesty
When you graced us with your beauty
I'll have the birds sing forever of you
Singing you're the most beautiful they knew

Doors

Even though it has been years
I was holding open this door
Being that, it has been a decade or more
I'd think you'd be grateful


But somehow I suppose
This is not quite the intention
I would rather that I chose
To close these doors


Darling, if I could have shut you out
And thrown away all the keys
I would be living somewhere else
And not waiting here on my knees
but sweet lullabies are my solace
and these doors stay open here
So when you get tired, come on back home
and I'll be the fool waiting here


Slowly, I realize the problem
While I hold onto these doors
For all this time I held them for you
but one of them snuck through


No, it was not my intention
Nor was it his I suppose
He just walked right through the door
and wasn't the one that I chose


Darling, if I could have shut him out
and thrown away all these keys
I would be living as someone else
and perhaps happy I'd be
but sweet lullabies are my solace
and these doors stay open here
So when you get tired, come on back home
He is standing guard here


No it was not my intention
Nor the plan I had chose
He decided to stand by the door
As my guardian I suppose
Perhaps he wants me to close all these doors
and hand over the keys
So I will not sit waiting for you
wretched upon my knees


Darling, if I could have shut you out
he'd be in here with me
I'd be living with him now
Imagine me now happy
sweet lullabies as my solace
doors locked tight right here
So when we're tired and cozy at home
You can be watching us here
Darling, please know I'd not let you in
if I could just shut you out
It would be him, and only him
And perhaps I'd be happy now

by Elizabeth Azpurua 12/9/10

Where Do You Find Home?

it's in the walls
in the furniture, the corners and the halls
inside the cabinets and boxes cluttered tall
all around us all
it's in the air
in the bedrooms, in the books, by the chair
inside the photo albums and pictures everywhere
every inch to spare
it's in the memories
in the echoes from the past and in the movies
inside captured moments from all the times we did see
all these things
it's in the reasons
each moment counted in the changing of the seasons
I am counting down the memories of why and how and what for
it's in all the ways I am holding onto this
and what I'm holding onto it for
it's in every thing I know
and I don't want to change
and I don't want to walk away
and I don't want to forget this place
why did it come to be this way?
it's in the doorways
in the safety of the cozy place we played
inside the rooms, the halls, the happy places
all these spaces
I'm holding on to it
and I don't want to forget
I'm holding on to this
collections of all I'd miss

by Elizabeth Azpurua

Angry and Sick the Caster Casts a Net My Way

"Sick Minded"

i am sick with anger
like vomit
like bile
this taste upon my tongue becomes
my poison
i have dealt you pain here
to cease your voice
and while
you shrivel inward; the sight becomes
my absolution

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


I get so tired of the lack of care, as if I don't exist, don't matter, I am unimportant, useless, forgotten...
Am I a reason to walk on by?
I'm trying to put lanterns up to light your way and you shred them angry, and raged, and I wonder why, oh why in the world do I put myself through this?
Is it ok to simply walk by me and pretend I am nothing more than the wall of this building? Is it ok to look right through me as if I am a specter, a figment of your imagination, an illusion of someone you don't give a damn about?
Am I really so unimportant?
Is my voice like a nail piercing your ears? Are my hands like knives seeking your skin? Are my eyes like caverns leading you down?
Do you envision me captive inside of my shell or out on the mountains speaking out nonsense? For surely my existence means nothing to you and you'd rather believe no importance.
I cannot stand sitting here knowing that you never cared and that I've been the fool all along.
I cannot sit smiling pretty and pretending I'm happy when I'm angry because I'm not only wrong, but I have been a fool all this time presuming I meant more to you then a speck lost in the carpet of your floor.
I have smiled my last smile for you, laughed my last laugh with you, and given my last damn for you.
When you wonder, if you ever wonder where I'm at, I hope you get lost seeking me out.
I was never good enough for your company.
Nor do I now wish to be.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Caster"

Oh, caster cast your last net my way
Reel me in like I am lost at sea
and steal a kiss from my lips
breathe the breath of life in me
Caster in your boat made of hope
carry me through this pain I bear
and rescue me from the troublesome
wrap me in love like a coat I'll wear
Oh, caster cast your last net my way
I might be all you wished to capture
And as the sun sets upon these waves
Steal a kiss from my lips to enrapture
Caster in your boat made of hope
My savior sailing these seas
Give me life back and take me ashore
Answerer of my pleas

All by elizabeth azpurua