Saturday, May 28, 2011

Ruled by Logic

Sometimes I feel my voice is radio static to your ears
it's nonsense garbled within the wind
my words are thoughtless and tossed to and  fro
my purpose still unknown
I`m a carbon based lifeform ruled by logic, seeking perfect, and finding faults
I`m a dreamer needing reasons but finding dead ends...
and when I sort it out I might just be an echo on the wind
A problem never solved, riddle that was hard and an investigation of the heart
I will fill the silence with letters and speak in complicated terms
so these thoughtless words will die on my tongue in the air
When I figure it all out I will be invincible and free
and not chained to logical conclusions or meanings boxed and labeled
I will be like the bird who takes flight not needing to understand why it is that it can fly

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Killer Doll is Hurting Me

"Who's Fault is it For Hurting?"

You're a shotgun in the dark
that I never see coming
at me
left with holes and scars
Who's fault is this
for hurting?
So you mock me now?
And you poke my eyes out
and you leave me to die on the ground
Who's fault is it for my hurting?
So why is it blamed on me?
You're a stormcloud on my beach of hope
that lightening strike will get me
and I never see it coming
at me
So you end me in a whirl of flames
and you poke at my scorched skin
Well who's fault is it that I'm hurting?
Then why do I get blamed for it?

5/25/11

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"Killer Doll"

Charade, with a knife, and coller
of lace, and pearls, and ribbons
Curls and lipstick and a smile on your face
you stick the knife into me
I was besotted by your beauty
I had thought you were a doll
So, you smile, Charade, in your lace and pearls
and with a knife
you kill me

5/25/11

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Bleed Honesty

I wanna bleed honesty
I wanna mop the floor with me
I wanna let you see what is here
like I painted it out to read
I wanna bleed honesty
Don't hold back, here's what it'll be
It may not makes sense at first
but you better listen of course

I got miles and mounds and murals
I got piles and pounds and hurtles
I got missions and reasons and problems
and I don't got the time
I got seconds for hours and nothing
I cannot complete a damn thing
So don't get all up tight
I'm just out of time

I wanna bleed honesty
Let the words leave out of me
I want to scream them until you hear
or write them so you'll read
I wanna bleed honesty
I gotta get away from me
Let it out here on this floor to learn
you better listen and be warned

I am tired...tired...tired of being kind
I am tired...tired...tired and I ain't fine
So, shut up, shut out, and go on by

I got miles and mounds and murals
I got piles and pounds and hurtles
I got missions and reasons and problems
and I don't got the time
I got seconds for hours and nothing
I cannot complete a damn thing
So don't get all up tight
I'm just out of time


I shoulda' bled out long ago
I should of let all of you people know
Your selfishness adds to my wounds
And I'm not going through
I shoulda' bled out long ago
I don't know but I need you to know
I don't have time for your problems
I got my own

I got miles and miles to go
I got mounds of things I don't know
I got murals of dreams not coming true
I got piles of troubles I can't get through
I got pounds of hurts and heartache
I got hurtles that make my back break
I got missions to do for the weary
I got reasons that seem too blury
And my problems mount so high
so I just don't have the time

I wanna bleed honesty
So here me now and let this be
I can't give anymore
This is not worth fighting for

By Elizabeth Azpurua
5/25/11

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Unforgiven Pollution Killed You

"The Pollution"

Acrid and unforgiving
it's choking
it's ending
it's spilling over the edges
gone beyond ledges
and leaped over hedges
and crept through these walls
and died

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"Killed You"

I poisoned you
slowly
I opened you
with razors and ice
I wrapped you in webs and fed you to spiders
and when you screamed
I closed my eyes
I shattered you
quickly
like a vase on the table
I looked at a shard
contemplating the past and let it fall
I let it fall hard

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"Unforgiven"

I'm like the erupting volcanoes of Iceland
I blow, the ash settles and no planes can fly
I am like the flood waters that threaten
I wash away hopes and watch as they die
I am like the earthquakes that shake you
I often find buildings scattered and fallen
I'm like the tsunami that took away their world
I may never be loved nor be forgiven

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Kept Away From the Trees

She wakes each day
pulls herself together
Smears the happy across her skin
and puts her peices together
She goes by and smiles along
carries the tune to a song
He is elsewhere doing his work
not ever writing his wrong
He had promised, promised, promised
He had promised to be
there by her side when she needed him there
but he didn't stop her, did he?
She was driving, driving so fast
trees seemed to be a perfect end
Was he there to tell her "no"
No, he was not there to mend
So, now who stopped her from such a thing?
Who was the savior for her?
It was a ruddy boy who knew not
but what he offered her
Happiness, he offered a dream
so she held onto that
and he delivered oh, such a thing
but she could not know what she had
For she wakes each day
pulls her self upright
struggles to just wake up
and go for the light
And she goes by day after day
holding that memory
that kept her away
from the trees
from the trees
So play the song, play the tune, play it long
Play that melody to keep you strong
Happiness is but a dream away
a memory
of that October day

By Elizabeth Azpurua 5/14/11

Saturday, May 14, 2011

I am Happiness

I'm a fading sun
like a dying day
The weeping willow
and the lonely bay
I'm a little vessel
adrift at sea
I'm the lonely hilltop
and the silent breeze

I am just a will o' the wisp
you always try to follow
I disappear before you reach me
And if you should try to capture me, you won't
I'm never fully here at all

I'm that shooting star
you never see
Whether near or far
you cannot find me
I am the illusive creature
of the deep
That one treasure sought for
you'll never keep
I am like a little vessel
adrift at sea
I am a spider's thread
you cannot see
But still you come for me...

I'm still the will o' the wisp
you try to follow
I'll disappear before you reach me
And if you try to capture me, you won't
I'm never fully here at all

I'm the mountain tall
you cannot climb
I am the bridge to cross
you cannot find
I am the dragonfly
you'll never ride
and the weeping willow
where I hide
Like the fading sun
I'm the dying day
A lonely hill
or a lonely bay
I'm that dream you never seem to have
And yet you keep on trying to

But I'm the will o' the wisp
you shouldn't follow
I like to disappear before you reach me
And I'll never, ever let you catch me
For I'm never fully here at all

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Holding Happiness like Only You Can

"Only You Can"

only you can say
my name
and still my soul with
the letters spelled
out
only you can keep
silent
and break my soul with
the words you
withheld
only you can know
my pain
and make my day with
words that cheer me
up
only you can say
my name
and make me ache
to know why you say
it such as
you do

5/7/11

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Hold happiness in my palms
Hold it close
Safe from harm
Keep it locked up
Locked up inside
I don't want to hide, but I don't want to lose it
Gonna treasure it
Hold it safe like a delicate
vase
No breaking, falling, no shattering
my happy
I am quietly marveling at it
Keep the doors here locked
keep it safe from harm
I don't want to have to sound this alarm
I have grasped it close
and held it so
I don't want to let this happiness go

5/2/11

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Wondersome

cream
moonlight alabaster
on this quilt here after
i shall recall every freckle
sweetest hallelujahs
called from what's between us
never forget this 'wondersome'
i feel you like i never felt another
i see you like i never saw before
i hear you in a way i never heard you speak
and i love you in a way that makes us weak
tempt
tease me slowly down
roll me out over this ground
name ever mole, ever dimple
call my name like a song
nothing about it is wrong
never, never forget this 'wondersome'
i feel you in the depths you'll discover
see you in a way i never have before
i will remember every moment imprinted on my skin
cherish your essence, your loving, my sweetest sin

5/2/11

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

...hopeless.

I can't bear the thought, the thought, the thought of you running beyond
I can't seem to stand the fact that you may hold another in your arms
Give me a reason to hold onto you, a reason to fight a bit more
Give me a reason not to crash; I'm not sure I know what I'm fighting for
I might be fighting for a dream
I did for so long, and so long I bled
and you, you undid me
Give me a reason to hope.....
a reason to wake and to breathe each day
I've lost me reason to fight, they took my fight from me
I can't stand it any longer.......and I can barely think
Give me a sign, a gesture, a measure of time
Give me a string, a thread of hope and please, oh please...
don't leave me here to drown
I cannot bear it now...
I have lost my strength and my reasoning
and I have only this
this never ending stream of words
my tongue is bleeding the agony of my soul
and I am hopeless




4/26/11

Monday, May 2, 2011

Stillness in Her Soul

she seeks refuge in the water
seeks a stillness in her soul
she is breaking and going under
for so long hasn't been whole
they had all mocked her weakness
pointed fingers at her lonely frame
she would cower in the corners
they won't even recall her name
leave her be and let her grow up
let her find her way on her own
she has battled her demons so long
and inside how much she's grown
she seeks refuge by the shoreline
seeks a stillness in her heart
she is waiting on her one ship
the better half of her, the other part
they had mocked her and her wishes
they had made her scream and cry
but she is stronger now on her own
and has a new reason to try

by: me

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Rock Bottom

you can try so hard and yet you fail
your shoulders sometimes just wont be enough
you can try so hard but they wont care
and no matter what you aren't enough


you push and pull
and you break down
I've been there
I've held the ground
I saw rock bottom
5 years ago
I'll have you know
I'll have you know
I made it through


you can try so hard and not succeed
I've been down that road a time or two
you are not always everything
but I know just what you're going through


you will bend then break
and end up going down
I've been there
and bled on the ground
I knew rock bottom
5 years ago
I reached the end
I'll have you know
I made it though


I got so far to reach the edge of sanity
I broke down and the world crashed from beneath these feet
There was nothing left at all in the world for me
So I kept going......
Without knowing


you can try so hard, but still you fail
your shoulders won't be so tough
you can try so hard but they wont care
and in the end you're not enough


so push and pull
and then break down
I've been there
kissing the ground
I knew rock bottom
5 years ago
I reached my ending
but, I'll have you know
Yes, I'll have you know
I made it through


4/29/11


By Elizabeth Azpurua