Burn Up Love Like This

"Gasoline"

I know you're aching, hurting, fighting
needing, wanting, longing; it's frightening
the future dark, dim, cold, turn on the light
I have the car keys
let's drive
I know it's maddening this life we lead
come and pull up the weeds
and end this
It's burning, scorching, up, up in flames; it's over
And you're standing in the remains
Why is it so damn complicated?
I don't know, dark and cold
let's create a bonfire
I'm waiting here
spreading the gasoline
I want an explosion
someone light the match
It's frustrating, you're aching, he's screaming
she's bleeding
It's a mess we weave into knots; and I'm cold
dark, alone, and like stone we settle
don't settle
I say let's leave together
but this life holds me back

2/23/11

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Mirage Called Love"

She choked you
brought you to your knees
in satin and pearls shaped like bullets
She made you beg her
need her, want her
and you turned the other cheek
all you became is for her stepping
your back is for her feet
Stupid boy, she doesn't love you
Stupid boy, she never did
Stupid boy, just stand and shake her
but you're too much a gentleman
He broke you
brought you to your knees
in leather and smokescreens and illusions
He made you need him
want him, feel him
and you burned for his touch
just like the fool in love too rough
Stupid girl, he doesn't love you
Stupid girl, he never did
Stupid girl, just turn and leave him
but you're not enough of a woman
You dumb fools, let go, let go and move on
you dumb fools, this love is all too wrong
They hold your heart strings
And they end your breathing
All for what?
For a mirage called love

By Elizabeth Azpurua 2/23/11

Under the Circus Tent

Can we pretend it’s summertime? Sit and watch the stars
as we lay on our backs in the grass?
Can we go inside and make believe we are kids in carnival days?
I want to see the circus and play
Let’s make cotton candy and I’ll feed you pink fluffy clouds
and then turn around and kiss your mouth
Let’s use this quilt and you and make a circus tent for two
and from the patchwork roses I find glee
Can we pretend it’s summertime? Can we bounce around
and do circus tricks?
Let’s get high like trapeze artists in our exhilarating fun
Let’s use this quilt while you become the circus tent
and our make believing fun won’t ever end
You’re the Ringmaster and I’m glad to say that this
made up summer joy is marvelous

2/19/11

.......not that it matters.......

I know you get tired of reading
of looking and seeing
of holding my hand as I battle the past
and cradling my sorrows in your lap
I know you get weary with my leading you backwards
while I bring you down into this pit
and in each moment I relapse
you are there, ever constant and strong
I know you get tired of hearing me cry
of helping my tears dry
of being my shield to get through the night
and forcing me to keep up the fight
I know it's repetitive, tiresome; too many words
and you just would like to quit
but is it really such a hard task
to be there when I'm faltering on?
...........maybe. maybe, maybe I should walk away
into some other distant place
take out my mind and cease all these rhymes
shut off the hymns and the noise
maybe, maybe, maybe I should runaway
never hear another word from me
and when you get lonely and come looking someday
you'll find my empty mind by the seashore
........but here I am
an island...amidst the transcending moments
and you are but a pebble on the ground
until I need you again and you come be my friend
and listen to my mind and every sound
and somehow, somehow, somehow,
you learn it's not such a hard task
........................'til then, it's more words, more poems
more nonsense you pretend to read here
and not that it matters, but you are my anchor
and the darkness is growing again

Choked the Lion Dead

“Dead Lion”



You were brave like lions in a grave
Soot and sand your home
I was warning before the storming
But now I stand alone
I was trying to get you to see the clouds
But no matter how great and loud
My voice cannot reach your closed off mind
And now my dear, we’re out of time
So go and roar your mighty roar
Inside the tomb of the ground
And I will be seeking all the more
And I won’t even hear your sound
You were brave like lions in a grave
Forever silenced then
I could not make sense to you
And so I lost a friend
I wish I could go back and change all the time
Wasted that you wouldn’t pay me mind
But no dear, it’s over, the ground holds you now
And I cannot reach you, I’m not allowed
So go roar your mighty roar
Inside the tomb of the ground
And I will be seeking all the more
Unable to hear your mighty sound


2/4/11
 
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 
"Choked"
I choke, every time, every way, every rhyme
I fall and
bitterest of all
is the closeness that I never could close
the line never crossed, now dead, I suppose
but in every moment
passed by
my tongue sticks to my mouth too dry
and nothing changes
at all
 
2/6/11
 
by Elizabeth Azpurua

Make Me a Prince Charming

I am wishfully thinking and parading these dreams
making mountains out of molehills and
cradling screams
You are battling dragons in a hill faraway
while you're proclaiming the reasons
why you've gone away
I am twirling in circles beneath the stars here alone
while the night birds all call me asking
why I condone
Your absence that clearly left me in this tower
like a forgotten gem I am sealed away
here forever
But I tell the birds that it's all OK.....
Prince Charmings aren't born
because they're made

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Spin Over the Canyon

“Done and Over”

So I’m the one to blame now, huh?
And I guess you want your way now, huh?
Well you better shut your mouth hun, I don’t play these games
And I won’t bend over backwards
I’m done
So I screwed it all up for you, I see
And you are blaming it all on me
But I won’t listen to a thing you say, a word you hold to
Shut up I’m through
I’m over it
You can't blame every little stupidity on someone else
You should look for the blame inside of yourself
I really don’t care if you cry or you scream
And I don’t care if this all ruins your dreams
It’s not my problem
It never was
So grow up and grow a pair
Learn to fix your only problems, dear
And get a life that’s not attached to mine
I don’t have the time for you or the patience to put up with you
I am so through
I’m done
And over it now


1/22/11
 
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 
"Spin The Wheel"
 
the more we go the worse it gets
the longer time the more "forgets"
the wasted moments, mountain high
like we had tried to reach the sky
but better still the hard to place
thoughts we can never even trace
the endings we had never tied
and all these days we have lied
we tell ourselves it's all OK
like fools confused; go away
run from the knowlege you forgot
i'll try to place what i haven't got
and as time goes i can barely see you
it's all fading; but what is left true?
build a plane for me, my lover
somehow forget we had another
long before this; spin the wheel
and tell me what do you feel?
the problem with time is it all fades away
but i am sure i recall it all this way
 
1/27/11
 
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 
“Canyon”
 
It hurts most days I wake up
And it aches before I sleep
And it haunts inside my dreams but I can’t shake this
You were just what I never looked at
And then suddenly everything I really needed
But there’s a canyon
In-between you and I

I wake most days with no luck
And it continues through the week
It’s the horrible cycle I repeat and I can’t shake it
You were not what I’d expected
But you became the reason I wanted to be
But there’s a canyon
Still between you and me

And I can’t fly and I can’t jump and I can’t build a bridge
And you won’t try when it’s not enough because of this
But I wanted so bad now
Yet it doesn’t matter now, I see
Because this canyon is always going to be
Between you and me
1/22/11



By Elizabeth Azpurua

Too Many Years With No Hope

I was holding up a sign that said "I'm Fine"
and I was pointing to a road named Hope
I was waiting for that day to finally come
holding onto the end of my rope

1/25/11


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


"Too Many Years"


i adored you like cauliflower shaped cloud castles in the sky
and imagined your smile through the windows while the world rushed by
but the images faded
and left streaks by my tears
it's been too many years
i adored you like ladybugs crawling through the grass by my feet
and imagined your laugh would carry me in joy down the street
but the good times faded
and were replaced by my fears
it's been too many years
i still watch the clouds for signs of your name
and i ache inside to wonder what's the same
do you still feel that way or did it all change?
i can't even ask you
i do not know how to
i still wait in the grass for your return
how i ache inside oh how i yearn!
do you think of me at all in all these years?
or is the truth the bitter edge of my fears?
i adored you like the bluejays in the trees outside the windows here
their wings reminded me of your eyes and all that i had once held dear
but the images are bitter
and i can't swallow back my tears
it's been too many years
and we added one more


1/20/11

Catching Meteors With Lettuce

Foolish like you think you can jump off the ledge
And suddenly sprout wings to fly
You’re no dragonfly
Or albatross
You stupid imbecile learn the facts
You were never good at that
So quit making planes of paper and trying
To explore the world
Quit trying to reach the heavens
By searching for a sword
I am done with your stupidity and I cannot think at all
I asked you what you were up to now
And you replied “catching meteors”
Foolish like you think you can save humanity
You are only holding lettuce and
You’ve nothing to compete
There is something stupid in you
A dodo bird, I’m sure
You imbecile you have to learn people aren’t unstoppable
And flying off the cliff for you isn’t possible
You won’t be King Arthur or find a sunken land
And you cannot catch meteors holding lettuce in your hands
Foolish did you think yourself the mighty albatross
When you left across the bridge holding a bag of sand
You claimed to be stardust?
You had tied two purple strings to your finger just to claim
Royalty had always run straight through your veins
And at the bottom of the water drowned I had found you there
A sodden little bag of sand and a drowned head of lettuce
Clutched to your chest
You wore makeshift wings of paper that became your death
Foolish like you think you can jump off the ledge
I scream at you that “you’re no dragonfly
You imbecile”
I rave and scream at the stupidity in your dead face
And kick the head of lettuce and the wings that let you die
You were never very smart
And I begin to cry
But as the nighttime darkens and I watch the stars come out
I see a meteor shower and realize what this was all about
You were always on a fool’s errand and claiming you could be
Just like the heroes of old, but I wasn’t listening
Foolish here you thought you could actually fly
And stop the falling stars far off in the sky?
I should have realized before how far you might go
But I’m the fool now
I should have known


1/19/11

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Title credit: Alex Bach

Helium Snowflake

"Snowflake Kiss"


I wanna wear pink boots in the snow, sipping hot cocoa slow
usin’ up all the hot water at night
I wanna wrap you inside a blanket close, tickle you with cold toes
and stay up too late each time
I wanna be your princess in a sweater and knee socks
Be the girl who reads a book on how to pick locks
Sneak inside a cabin for a winter rendezvous
and lay before the fire showin' you what to do
I wanna wear flannel pj’s in the snow to go out and play
Freezing ‘til my cheeks turn bright pink
I wanna watch movies all day copy every word they say
and act out all the racy scenes with a wink
I wanna be the snow bunny in your dreams with a snowflake kiss
Be the girl you tumble in the flannel sheets during snowed in bliss
Pancakes in the morning because syrup is so fun
Let's make winter last forever; we're nowhere near done
 
1/18/11
 
 
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 
"Helium"

Breathless
this sensation is like injecting my veins with helium
and somewhere between
the high and the clouds
i realize this isn't flying
it's floating
and i might have to come down
for more
 
1/18/11
 

By: Me.

Remind Yourself What's Important

“Miracle Kisses”

She goes on every day like a champion

Ever brave, ever strong, his companion

She’s a wreck inside though every time the door closes

Will he walk back through again?

Just a kiss that signals goodbye

Full of love holding every reason why

He’s a hero full of pride and everything this country cherishes

But she’s weak kneed every single night

As she’s praying that he’ll be alright

As a hero in another distant place

She is waiting just to see his face

Every hello kiss is a miracle

And she prays to God that she’ll have more

Every goodbye kiss is an anchor

Weighing on her until he comes back home

This is for every woman holding to faith

That her only love will return home safe

She’s a beacon for everyone who needs to see courage shine

A reality etched in a country’s pride

With a kiss that signals goodbye

Full of love holding every reason why

And every day that passes she is holding hope and she’s divine

But she’s weak kneed every single night

As she’s praying that he’ll be alright

As a hero in another distant place

She is waiting just to see his face

Every hello kiss is a miracle

And she prays to God that she’ll have more

Every goodbye kiss is an anchor

Weighing on her until he comes back home

She’s a warrior in the strength of loss

Her bitter burdens that become her cross

She will bear them just to bring him home

Hold him close once more, not want to let him go

She goes on every day like a champion

Ever brave, ever strong, his companion

She’s a wreck inside though every time the door closes

Will he walk back through again?

So she’s weak kneed every single night

As she’s praying that he’ll be alright

As a hero in another distant place

She is waiting just to see his face

Every hello kiss is a miracle

And she prays to God that she’ll have more

Every goodbye kiss is an anchor

Weighing on her until he comes back home

A kiss to bring him back home

Bring him back home

By Elizabeth Azpurua

1/17/11

Like a Rainbow

Love is like a rainbow
multicolored and hard to reach
it comes and goes and fades away
when you run towards it
Some says it promises gold
but can you get there, I don't know
Prismatic and illusive
ever changing and far away
Love is like a rainbow
follows the storms and the rains
like a sign from God and promise
but only for those who get to see it
Some say on the other side is luck
but will you find it, oh, I don't know
Translucent and uncommon
beautiful and far away

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Nothing Here But Signs

*Just as a note the following poem is meant to be read with conviction, as if this were the last words you would say*



"Nothing Here, Nothing At All"

tumbleweeds and empty war drums
no sound, no waves, no muse
no echoes or forests or mountains
and nothing at all to reuse
there is no magic and music and mayhem
and not a drop in the bucket I hold
there are no storm clouds or rainbows
and nothing at all for me to hold
there isn't greatness, nor marvels, nor epics
nothing to breathe into your lungs for joy
there is not a memory left in the stillness
and not a mural on walls here to enjoy
there are no typhoons, no earthquakes
there is not even a sound of a mouse
there are no lyrics or fairytales here at all
and there is nothing left of a house
tumbleweeds and empty war drums
and a plain full of stillness and dirt
the sky is a distant visitor
and the only thing left is this hurt
I am not standing anymore in this emptiness
I am not standing anymore without you
You take everything that had meaning
and you take everything once held true
So long to the birds, and the bees, and the willows
So long to the oceans, the castles, the crepes
So long to the currents, the blizzards, and billows
and goodbye to any of the once loved landscapes
there is nothing of science, inventions and news
there is nothing of pearls, gems, and beautiful hues
There is dirt and a plain full of empty war drums
no sound, no battle, no victor, no sun
I am not standing anymore in this emptiness
I am not standing anymore without you
I will not claim this stupid dirt as my home
I am not settling for remaining alone

1/9/11

 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Signs"

Why do you need a crop circle or
some sign in the sky
to make you see reason and give
you the message you seek?
There won't be a vision on a side of a wall
or a signal from an angel while you sleep
So get off of your sofa and step outside
and realize what has been
here the whole time
You shouldn't have to have an epiphany
to wake and understand
that the reason for your being,
is being my friend

1/9/11

Mary's Garden Wants Me"

"Wanting Something Other Than Me"

You can stand there on your side
walk beside those dirty windows
I will walk beside my pile of rubble
and watch as the wind blows
They will just wave at you and walk right on by
I would have came and stood by you
and never left your side
But you want something else, I guess
So carry off these emblems
and throw away these signs
Stand by dirty windows
And I'll watch the sun rise
I would have watched it standing by you
but you want someone else, I guess

1/8/11

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"That Garden...You know, Mary's Garden"

Mary, Mary, oh you with that garden
Some say you were contrary, but I must confess
You probably stole all the seeds for a haven
and got but a wiley and overgrown mess
I am able to stand here and reach for the stars
but only when high feeling like I'm on Mars
There were makers of music who would sing me a song
but I envied the rhymning and told them all off
Come hither and thither and come for a time
I'll be back tomorrow when I finish this crime
Mary, Mary, how did your garden grow?
They say with some flowers and maids, but I say
You had them try to find perfection in each row
But you'll never see heaven on earth if you won't pray
I am able to stand here and reach the sky
but only while dreaming can I truly fly
Those makers of music try to sing my their songs
but I hate their melodies and I tell them they're wrong
Come hither and thither and come for a time
I'll be back tomorrow when I finish this crime
Oh, Mary, contrary, your garden is lame
I have a whole box of girlish stupid games
Shall you fancy a party to wear your polka dots?
I'll bring the liquor and lets watch your garden rot
They would bring my songs and I hated them so
I wanted the rhymns like you wanted a garden to grow
Unless we do all the work by ourselves
we will never see heaven but end up in hell
Come hither and thither and come for a time
I'll be back tomorrow when I finish this crime

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Avalanche

If I pull away the outside
and strip it bare
you won't be there
I was too young and so naive
Thought that you'd be
everything I could need
But I was hoping for an avalanche
and all I got was a song
a melody of the forgotten times
its all a broken rhyme
that still sounds wrong
I wanted the downpour of love
To wash over me
To cover me
But I received such an empty verse
Something half hearted, forgotten and worse
it didn't rhyme
If I pull away the walls here
You still won't be here
On the other side
I was so stupid and young
Thought you could be the one
Thought I'd found the one
But I was craving an avalanche
and I got this sad, lonesome song
a melody of all the left behinds
it's all a broken rhyme
that still sounds wrong
I wanted the downpour of love
to wash over me
to cover me, to erase it all
But I can hear that empty verse
Something half hearted, forgotten, and worse
it still won't rhyme
Someone save me and fall on me with love
Someone erase the taint of that horrid song
It's all so wrong
So very wrong
and it won't rhyme


12/9/10

Wooden Toys

It's hard to bear the pain and harder still to let go
It's hard to ride these waves
and hard to watch them go down below
We're the ones left here
along this shoreline
and we wait for them to come back to us
They seem to think these boats are safe
and they think the sea will be gentle now
It's all fools stearing wooden toys
grown ups acting like little boys
and we pay the price
It's hard to ease the pain and harder once you know
They'll end inside these waves
and meet their silence down below
We're the ones left here
along this shoreline
and once they leave we wait in agony alone
They should have known these boats weren't safe
and that the sea would like to blot them out
Silly fools stearing wooden toys
damn you men, acting like boys
We pay the price
everytime we watch you die


12/10/10

Dark Blue Light

"Blue Light Spring"

you were starlight, you were snowflakes
you were blossoms and blue eyes and earthquakes
you were blue lights drowning out the red that took my hope
you were a dancer and a dreamer and a newborn make-believer
and hope born upon the sun bursting into Spring
And every moment after was a magical journey
Dancing through the daylight like a dream
You drowned out almost everything
you were music, you were melodies
you were glitter and sparkles and daydreams
you were blue lights drowning out the red that took my hope
you were a dancer and a dreamer and a newborn make-believer
and somehow through it all you were like Spring


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"It Was Dark"

And it was dark, so very dark
and clouded inside my eyes
There wasn't but a pinprick
and that light was sure to die
I was wrestling in the corners
for forgiveness that ran away
trying to grab a hold of something
so I could remember the way
The way to let go
the way to move on
the way to breathe
But I was faltering...
And it was dark inside the car
and lights were in my eyes
And you let me speak it all out
I had never even tried
I'd been battling the cobwebs
trying to run the other way
But you had me lay it all out
Not knowing what I'd say
And I finally let go
and I moved on
and I could actually breathe
I'm so very grateful
So very thankful
For that gift that you gave me
No matter what may happen
What life may bring
I am lighter and better and happier you see
For it was dark, so very dark
But you helped me come back...
...back to me.


By Elizabeth Azpurua

Doors

Even though it has been years
I was holding open this door
Being that, it has been a decade or more
I'd think you'd be grateful


But somehow I suppose
This is not quite the intention
I would rather that I chose
To close these doors


Darling, if I could have shut you out
And thrown away all the keys
I would be living somewhere else
And not waiting here on my knees
but sweet lullabies are my solace
and these doors stay open here
So when you get tired, come on back home
and I'll be the fool waiting here


Slowly, I realize the problem
While I hold onto these doors
For all this time I held them for you
but one of them snuck through


No, it was not my intention
Nor was it his I suppose
He just walked right through the door
and wasn't the one that I chose


Darling, if I could have shut him out
and thrown away all these keys
I would be living as someone else
and perhaps happy I'd be
but sweet lullabies are my solace
and these doors stay open here
So when you get tired, come on back home
He is standing guard here


No it was not my intention
Nor the plan I had chose
He decided to stand by the door
As my guardian I suppose
Perhaps he wants me to close all these doors
and hand over the keys
So I will not sit waiting for you
wretched upon my knees


Darling, if I could have shut you out
he'd be in here with me
I'd be living with him now
Imagine me now happy
sweet lullabies as my solace
doors locked tight right here
So when we're tired and cozy at home
You can be watching us here
Darling, please know I'd not let you in
if I could just shut you out
It would be him, and only him
And perhaps I'd be happy now

by Elizabeth Azpurua 12/9/10

Stepping Stone

While I'm sifting through the mess and the rubble and the pain
You are out on the ledge playing all those silly games
Count the shots that you've had, line them up, stack them high
I will sort out all my past, present, future hopes and cry
They are snappin' pics, smiling free, stupid fools
I am labeling the endings and signing off for good
Call the idiots and sing them a song or two and say
This is the life that you wanted, you got it all the way

It's a lie I know
It's not all OK
Go ahead and try to pretend it
I am seeing right through this

I am here alone and lost the sunshine while you stole it away
Moved to a new home, better lifestyle, nothing more to say
Hold your loved ones close they seem to mean the world to you
I'm just a stepping stone that helped you get all the way through
Just a moment, just a phase, just someone to pass the time with
But that's OK, you can be another photo in these boxes

While I'm sorting through the years, through the wishes I have had
You are trying to be something that you aren't in a childish fad
Drink your vodka and see those stars, count the lights on the lamposts
I'll burn my dreams down, seal the envelopes and toss away the hopes
They are smiling and they're laughing and drivin' fast
It's all eggshells and lunatics and a broken past
In my rearview, in the mirror, outside of my windows here
But for you it's a haze of smoke and nothing is quite clear

It's all fine I'm sure
Pretend it's all OK
Go ahead and think you did it
I still see right through this

I am here alone and lost the sunshine while you stole it away
Moved to a new home, better lifestyle, nothing more to say
Hold your loved ones close they seem to mean the world to you
I'm just a stepping stone that helped you get all the way through
Just a moment, just a phase, just someone to pass the time with
But that's OK, you can be another photo in these boxes

You'll be a memory, just a thought, just a summer
Just a moment of a time I can remember
I'll be your stepping stone, the girl who helped you get there
And when I see your name and face on google I will not care

I am here alone and I'll make new sunshine for my brighter day
You can stay in your new flat and have a party there faraway
Hold all those people close who seem to mean the world to you
Just remember when they walk away who was the one there for you
Just a moment, just a phase, a stone you used to get ahead
And you'll be a photo in the box I'll store under the bed

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Never Lost

when you're sitting alone
and the world's viewed as cold
and you're holding onto the atmosphere
there were reasons in you
things you had held onto
moments given to you but discarded out of fear
somebody tried to put out your lights
and they took away all your rights
left you holding onto nothing but empty air
then they stole every dream
and broke your self esteem
teaching you that apathy was never fair
and you sit back alone and think
while your at the edge, on the brink
"maybe this world is not the place for me?"
and the windows turn grey
while the words that you'd say
die in your mouth filled with hopes you can't see
when you're sitting alone
and the world's viewed as cold
and you think you have nothing to hold to
just remember each night
a part of you shines so bright
but those dark ones just don't want it to
they would steal all your dreams
and then they would clip your wings
but they cannot turn you off
so if you're alone
and it's all cold
embrace yourself...you're never lost

by Elizabeth Azpurua