I Must Need You

Just today I, I, I was stuck trying
To see passed my wants
and to see what I need
but you're the one thing I cannot let go of
green eyes, and white hands, and whether I know of
a way to let you go, I can't
I am throwing up my hands

I must need you like the trees need the sun
I must need you like a wolf needs to run
I must need you like the air needs you to breathe
I must need you like the forest needs the trees
I must need you like the dandelion needs the breeze
I must need you like the air needs you to breathe

Yesterday I, I, I was left deciding
To let go of my wants
and learn what I need
but you're the one thing I always heard of
green eyes, white hands, a man among men of
courage and strength and grace
I know I've been forced to face

I must need you like the trees need the sun
I must need you like a wolf needs to run
I must need you like the air needs you to breathe
I must need you like the forest needs the trees
I must need you like dandelions needs the breeze
I must need you like the air needs you to breathe
I can't be me, without wanting to be - 
what you need

By: Elizabeth Azpurua

Final Word

Slow it down, slide beside
Hold your tongue without pride
Don't be austere 
Don't be absurd 
Don't dare say a word
I will shoot straight for you
Here's what has been true
I battled my fear
It went unheard
But I will have the final word
I'm not doing this without you
I need you 

By: Elizabeth Azpurua 

Won't See Me Dead

sit blowing smoke
cough, and choke
I see you wasting away
my iron fist inside this glove
wishes to push and shove
you right off your sofa

I saw the future once
Call me a freak with a psychic touch
I don't give a damn much
but this -
this was different, I know
his blue eyes told me so
but you don't care, I know, I know

so wrap yourself in a coma
high in a world of your mind
I will battle while you on the sofa
sit wrapped in smoke half blind
I will put on my armor
to fight for my future
what I saw I believe
even if you can't conceive
of such things

sit blowing smoke,
sitting there broke
wasting your days
but my inner resolution
is seeking a solution
to let all this go

But my anger is kindled
while your time you have swindled

Call me a freak with a psychic touch
I don't give a damn much
but this -
this was different, I know
his blue eyes told me so
but you don't care, I know, I know

so wrap yourself in a coma
high in a world of your mind
I will battle while you on the sofa
sit wrapped in smoke half blind
I will put on my armor
to fight for my future
what I saw I believe
even if you can't conceive
of such things
in my dreams

I can't deny
nor try
so I'll cry
yet one day, perhaps I'll see
sense made to me
I will not waste my determination
he was not a figment of my imagination
the future is a destination

so stay in a coma
high in your mind
sprawled on your sofa
because you're blind
I in my armor
eyes set ahead
know that my future
won't see me dead
won't see me dead
won't see me dead

by: Elizabeth Azpurua

Darts into the Fog

I give up
everything you inspire is dark
and like fire
that consumes my page
in rage
and ink
I give up
every word in my poetry
is heard
with apathy
and you never see
this side of me
bleeding out printed words
containing all these hurts
like I am throwing darts
into the fog

I give up
everything I feel is leftovers
I never heal
these emotions linger still
ever will
in ink
I give up
every syllable in my poetry
is capable
of empathy
but you never see
this side of me
bleeding out printed words
containing my curse
like I am throwing darts
into the fog

By: Elizabeth Azpurua

Storm in You

Traversing o'er these thoughts of mine
Expounding, weaving, thoughts entwine
But you know this chaotic soul by now
My raucous thinking and learning how
To verbalize what's trapped inside 
To let it out and to confide 
"There's something of the storm in you"
You tell me, and I know you knew
What passions waged wars inside of me
Bracing for impassioned white lightning 
No timid life, no subtlety, no hush
Emblazoned art, poetically, I rush
Into every war of racing thoughts 
Until they tangle my soul in knots 
And poems fall onto paper readily 
The storm of words quite heavily
Blankets all the spaces in what you already knew
When you said, "there's something of the storm in you" 

By Elizabeth Azpurua 

Winter White

the air seems to await the day of warming
where spring is dawning
but winter's been yawning
spitting out snow
and I've been cold

treasuring the knowledge of spring
awaiting on the day it will bring
softest green

spirals of winter white and bright, oh bright
is the light against the blanket of snow

whisper of snowflakes against hair
and your nose
how bitter sometimes the air
colder blows
please take care
cuddle close

By: Elizabeth Azpurua

Unforgiven Door

"Speak to the Door"

You're going to learn something new
I shall teach you to plead
To play a new tune
It's easy once you don't have a choice
And all that you'll need
Is the sound of your voice
It will echo back to you from a closed door
You can say what you want, but it won't change
It won't open up, it will remain shut
But you're gonna learn to speak to the door
Because I won't be answering you anymore

2/1/14


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"Unforgiven"

rattle and shake
turn now and break
take back the way
you say my name
it's fallacy
and fake
whisper and pray
to claim the day
I won't be here
to hear my name
it's wasted
and fades......
all is the way it's always been
but this time you'll be unforgiven

1/25/14

All By Elizabeth Azpurua

The Hell of Memory

Hail the hell on the waters
Hail the waves
and the towers
But her eyes like ice
Topaz puddles her price
Hail the illusions on hills
Hail the rains
and the chills
Well her eyes were like moss
Losing her was such a loss
Bright light and pain
and walls without a name
Can't see through rain
and I've nowhere left to claim
I miss the wild forests
I miss their tangled hair
I miss the one who watched us
Our guard was passing fair
Hail the hell in the stormy sky
Hail the thunder
and hasten the lie
Hail the crashing of the sea
Hail the waves
and wait it out with me
Because I miss eyes like sapphires
Because I miss walls of stone
Because illusions make raging fires
That burnt away what I had known
Hail the hell of memory
Hail the unknown

By: Elizabeth Azpurua

Silent Hills

Although I like the sound of my own voice 

I like answers too

It's sad when it's only you 

Although I enjoy these silent nights 

I am fond of song 

When there's no music it's wrong

But all of these hills I keep climbing 

I keep climbing alone 

And all of the hills I am finding 

Have truly shown 

Shown me truth

Sometimes it's a silent climb 

And the hills are fine

But they don't speak back 

Sometimes it's a lonely climb 

But at the top I find 

I'm on the right track 

I don't need a cheering squad 

Or you to wish me well 

Silent hills are nothing to applaud 

But they aren't really hell

They're salvation in silence

Because I truly find my voice 

Melodies are found in patience 

And not having any choice

I kept climbing 

And finding 

The truth 

And although I like answers, too

At least my own voice is true 

By: Elizabeth Azpurua 

Mutiny in the Heart

anarchy in my heart
mutiny from this part
that died slow deaths
each new day
now it wants its due
this small part, it's true
that died slow deaths
for too long
so you better run
it is breaking out
and it will tear you down
in a battle cry
and perhaps to die
along side your heart

1/25/14

Walking Circles

endless is the circle I am walking
tired of repeating all this talking
like I can change how you are

no body knows the pains I'm feeling
tired of pretending I am healing
I don't want to be what you are

I want to be able to walk away from all of this
and stop the walk that makes my fists
reach skyward high
Circles I had been walking became how I exist
to throw up my arms and my fists
shouting skyward high
I hate this

endless was the days I was repeating
tired to the core where hope was fleeting
like I could change the way you were

no body knew the depth of my needing
tired of the ache and the words I was reading
like I could make you forget her

I want to be able to walk away from all of this
and stop the walk that makes my fists
reach skyward high
Circles I had been walking became how I exist
to throw up my arms and my fists
shouting skyward high
I hate this

I forgave you and I still loved you
I wanted only the best for you
but you hate you and you won't love you
and how can I show that to you?

endless is the way that loves is taking
tired in my bones and my soul aching
I cannot change the way I hurt

I want to be able to walk away from all of this
and stop the walk that makes my fists
reach skyward high
Circles I hated walking and how I did exist
throwing up my arms and my fists
shouting skyward high
I hated it
I hate this

by Elizabeth Azpurua

The Invisible Girl With a Mirror

Holding out this pane of glass 
To show everyone what they really are 
Do they look beyond, no, never once
Seeing themselves and every scar 
Counting flaws
Counting lines
Making signs 
Holding out this framed reflector 
To show everyone their true beauty 
They won't look beyond, no, not a glance
Seeing only errors, such a pity 
Counting flaws
Counting lines 
Making signs 
And screaming at the mirror 
And beating on the glass 
Never looking beyond it
And the girl behind the mirror 
Is just doing her task 
Trying to show the beauty
Although she wasn't asked
But no one likes their image 
So they wear their mask 
Turn and walk away
Hating that framed glass 
And the girl with the mirror 
Turns the frame around 
And doesn't see a thing 
And doesn't make a sound

Waiting for a Moon Fortification

"Waiting For The Day"

Gonna greet the day like an old friend
tell them all that I started again
here goes my wings unfurled
ready to take on the world
time may pass me by
each year wondering why
but I am ready for the day I can say
I'm glad it turned out this way

12/30/13

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"One Moment Sun, the Next a Moon"

I think sometimes how so much has changed and how our hearts have become estranged;
so much now seems to go unsaid, never written and never read.
I wonder why so fast, so soon?
Like one moment sun the next a moon,
til soon such light will all be gone,
and with it sight, no waking dawn.
So it goes with most things I see, where they all die to memory;
the startling truth of how much is not the same,
and confusion of where to place the blame

12/26/13

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Fortification"
 
These unexpected rain showers
Come unwanted, eroding away the fortification of these bones
These wretched bones
Weighted stones
Whispers leave me without powers
You're undaunted, eroding away the fortification of my heart
Tear out my heart
Torn apart

12/12/13

By: Elizabeth Azpurua

Ripped Friendship Flag

Why Friend, are you friends with my enemy?

Does that mean you are not the friend of me?

Does it mean you trade secrets like spies?

Does it mean you spill words as lies?

 

Why Friend, are you staring there at me?

What are you thinking looking at me hatefully?

Does it mean you no longer feel the same?

Does it mean you look away in shame?

 

Why are you so silent now?

What has happened and how?

Where does this leave us?

What happened to trust?

Why are you walking away?

What words will make you stay?

Shall I just let you go?

I do not know

I do not know

 

I tried so hard to sail this sinking ship

It's going down too fast

Just a friendship flag for a sail that has a rip

and I know that it won't last

 

Why Friend, are you friends with my enemy?

Does it mean you no longer care for me?

Does it mean you laugh behind my back?

Talking about everything that I lack?

 

Why Friend, are you bad mouthing me?

What are those words you keeping saying?

Does this mean nothing we had is worth it?

Are you walking away, did you quit?

 

Why are you so silent now?

What has happened and how?

Where does this leave us?

What happened to trust?

Why are you walking away?

What words will make you stay?

Shall I just let you go?

I do not know

I do not know

I tried so hard to sail this sinking ship

It's going down too fast

Just a friendship flag for a sail that has a rip

and I know that it won't last

There's a storm out there tearing us apart

too many waves crashing 'round

and I am sinking with my broken heart

while you never make a sound

 

Why are you so silent now?

What has happened and how?

Why are you walking away?

What words will make you stay?

Shall I just let you go?

I think I must let you go

 

By Elizabeth Azpurua

 

 



Must it End?

Are you sincere or insecure?
With all my fear I just can't be sure
I feel the weight of worlds without end
but oh so light this weight of 'friend' - tell me when shall this end?
For all good they say has to end
I wish I was sure and not afraid,
my intentions pure but I seem to fade
...back into this spiralling feeling
I am positive and I am waiting
for it all to end - for all good they say has to end
Tell me friend, must it end?

11/21/13

Elizabeth Azpurua

Wake or Break in Wind

"Break in Wind"

So strange, this time
it's like a shadow fist took out my mind
and I've gone blind
for a time
So wrong, our end
it's like whirlwind took away my only friend
should I bend
or break in wind?
Where do dreamers go to face head on their end?
I can't speak in the cold air
the leaves are falling, trees weeping everywhere
and I should care
but it's unfair how my mind is blank and I can't share
the way I faired
when we had erred
and who was scared
but I?

10/23/13

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"Over and Done and Broken"

Bastard, you took me down for what?
I'm tired of sad poetry and giving up
I'm tired of trying when it's never enough
I'm tired when the road is always rough
Where the hell is my ending that is labeled with "happy"?
Where the hell is the top of this blasted hill?
I am over and done and broken and still
I keep attempting to be what they want me to be

Bastard, you broke my heart just because
It hurts like hell, but trust me it always does
I'm tired of aching inside with broken trust
like my soul is escaping, my whole life a bust
and there's no damn happy ending in sight anywhere
Where the hell is the top of this blasted hill?
I'm over and done and broken and still
I keep attemtping to try to love and to care
For what?
I don't know....
....I don't know

11/9/13

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"Wake Yourself"

Ever greet the day with strange nostalgia?
Find it hard to wake yourself from reveries
And wishing that you lived in memories?
Triumphant that the day is not longer
Because its hard enough to focus when awake
Wishing for just a moment you could take
A step back in time
11/4/13

Elizabeth Azpurua

Purple Spoon

Collect your feathers and just fly from here
I can't take your songs anymore
I was blinded but now I see clear
I know what you did this for
I won't eat from your purple spoon anymore
Or listen to your silver tongue
I am done
I am done
Collect your letters, do not leave them here
I won't see that mess anymore
I won't worry or be full of fear
I won't settle out this score
I won't eat from your purple spoon anymore
Or listen to your silver tongue
Oh, I am done
Yes, I am done
You're a silver tongued vulture in the night
Tearing my heart out with each new bite
And you feed me off your royal spoon
Beneath a subtle shadowed moon
I will get better, once you're gone from here
I won't be poisoned anymore
I will be able to see things clear
Knowing what I am living for
I won't eat from your purple spoon anymore
Or listen to your silver tongue
I am done
Yes, I am doneI am done

11/1/13
By: Elizabeth Azpurua

Come What May I Said

Deserts are trouble when you crave the sea
and I am trouble if you're craving me
I am spending my pennies on stones I won't keep
to offer as gifts to the ones in the trees
and I say
"Come what may"
and come it will
over and under until
I shall face
a new day
where my life has gone still
reaching the top of my hill

Forests are trouble if you need a stream
and I am trouble if you don't want a dream
I am sewing my seeds for a garden of sheep
to count until I find sleep and relief
and I say
"Come what may"
and come it will
over and under until
I shall face
a new day
where my life has gone still
reaching the top of my hill

By: Elizabeth Azpurua

10/23/13

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"I Said"

I know I said that this would last
that nothing would ever make this pass
but now I see I cannot keep
promises when I am weak
I know I said that this would be real
and never falter from what I feel
but I just learned I cannot keep
a promise when you make me weak
Sorry won't fix it; no bandaid to heal
I said what I said and I thought it was real
but what I said I had said I didn't understand
my promises would not turn out as planned

10/16/13

Autumn Flight

Autumn leaves are falling
in the windy breeze
in spirals they are blowing
a masterpiece in leaves
the colors are russet and gold
brown, yellow and red
striking, beautiful and bold
to land upon your head
to fall upon the ground
and dance across your sight
a soft and quiet sound
is their yearly autumn flight


By Elizabeth Azpurua

Love? Or Just another lonely night?

I bet you've tried a time or two

put yourself out there

let go of being scared

Thought you'd seen the light

found the one you need

now you could succeed

and then it all went wrong

 

I bet you cried a time or two

wishing for the way

that people keep promising

Thought it'd turn out right

that you found what you need

and you wouldn't beg and plead

but, damn it turns out wrong

 

Will it always rain when you're wanting sunshine?

Does it hurt to say you're tired of saying "I'm fine"

Tell me do you know the way to love that feels right

or is it always going to be just another lonely night?

 

I've tried a time or two

and then tried not to care

see how well I've fared?

Thought I'd find the light

and learn what I do need

like I could succeed

when I'm always wrong

 

I have cried a time or two

wishing for the day

tired of promising

that I'll be alright

when all I need

was hope to intercede

but I was so wrong

 

Will it always rain when you're wanting sunshine?

Does it hurt to say you're tired of saying "I'm fine"

Tell me do you know the way to love that feels right

or is it always going to be just another lonely night?

I've learned to love the rain without the sunshine

Learned to perfect the art of saying "I'm fine"

Maybe I'll never learn a love that feels right

Just writing songs on another lonely night

 

Damn it, and tell me why it seems

that all of our dreams

come after sleepless nights

where we don't know?

Damn it, tell me why love seems

to combat all our dreams

unraveling out nights

in all that we don't know?

 

Will it always rain when you need sunshine?

Will it always hurt to tell them you're fine

Is there a way to find love that feels right

or just a way to another lonely night?

Oh, I don't know

I don't know

 

By: Elizabeth Azpurua



It's All About Blue Eyes Here

"Twinkling Blue"

You give that wicked grin
and eyes a twinkling blue
I know you're thinking things
involving me and you
I want to stay and listen
to your laughter here
Capturing your happiness
caught inside your cheer

10/8/13

By: Elizabeth Azpurua



:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Eyes of Blue"

sometimes I reach out to shadows when reaching in dreams
to catch you while lucid; moments unraveling their seams
they're fleeting and dodge me until I awake
to torments of daylight and moments of fake
I just want to see you
and your eyes of blue

9/30/13

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"Your Blue Eyes Meet My Brown"

I'm trying to think of a poem
to explain the way sometimes
I feel you're apart of me
but there aren't words fluid enough
to express the notion that
you and I are of the same cloth
your blue eyes meet my brown
the way the mountains reach
up towards the sky
I don't know words poetic enough for this

9/27/13

All By Elizabeth Azpurua

All Your Lies

I know you're hiding things from me,
but see, I know not why
I see a building secret has formed
there behind your eye
Your avoidance tells more than you know
and more than you can tell
Your silent sneaking around lately
does not sit with me so well
I wish I was worth honesty from you
when I've never worn a mask
Yet it seems I'm not worth the effort
or honest answers when I ask
You duck and dodge and hide
loathe to face my seeking eyes
Somehow hoping if you keep it up
I won't uncover all your lies

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Not Alone

We're all backed into corners, clothes caught on nails
in loose floor boards, strength failed, sick with ails
There are shadows beneath us and dark figures ahead
Words spent in music that clatters inside our head
We're trying to find someone whose demons can play
well with our own so we can all come as we may
into the sunlight, full sight, nothing to hide
no need to lock doors, build walls; confide
and tell them the truth, tell them the past, the pain
let their dark moments dance with our own in rain
but we're sitting in corners with our knees in our chests
baring our scars to the room like they are our crests
saying "this is war, whose side are you on?"
telling the shadows like they haven't won
Loads of moments, troubles, high - dirty hair falling out
you scraped the bottom, your faith swallowed in doubt
We're all seeking for someone who has demons like our own
who can pull out the weeds from our gardens overgrown
and tear down our walls and unlock our doors; set free
with full sunlight, truth blaring, a moment we can be
ourselves - free, able to stand and face the day knowing
someone like us is out facing the day, too, showing
we're not alone.