I Know Why God Painted This Sky

I love the way the night reminds me of you; subtle
starlight in the distance shining through
and when the mornings come and the
barest color reaches sky
I think to myself I know the reasons why
God used the colors He did to bring
His world to life
He found love in miracle of the eternities
and tried to paint her essence upon
everything
So I see in all the wonderment
your face; it's heaven sent
and I adore you

by elizabeth azpurua

Cardinals

tilt over the ledge
come back, come back
spin over the edge
and I'm back, and you're back
and we're here
like cardinals in spring
what will this bring?
More songs, more wrongs
More titles and phases
and endings to phrases
I love you, I love you
I loved you, sang I
I love you, I love you
was not your reply
Cardinals darting and darting on by
this Spring will bring another reply?
tilt over the ledge
come back, come back
spin out on the edge
Come back when I'm back
and we're here
again

3/28/11

By Elizabeth Azpurua

I Used to Be an Angel in a Meadow

"Not An Angel Anymore"

broke my wings off
and tucked them in the corner
you thought i wouldn't notice
and that i would stay on the ground
bound
took my halo away
and placed it in the dresser
thought i wouldn't notice
in my reflection my glow is gone
forgotten
you slowly wove me into a sickly figure
no wings, no halo, not an angel anymore
you took my harp and my voice
and gave me a hole in which to stay
here i thought i had found a new life of freedom
but i only gave up my purpose to condone yours
i'm not now
so what's next?

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Who I Used To Be"

I used to wait by the door and by the windows
I wished on blue moons and stars and willows
I collected thoughts and dreams and hopes and years
I counted signs and trees and reasons in shapes of tears
Maybe I was broken
Maybe I am a fool
But I knew who I was, didn't I?
I played in dreams and painted things I held to
I wrote out my screams and wished for truth
Now I dart back and forth to your upbeat tempo
I still try to spin the way you want me to
I really just want to curl beside this rock here
and pretend that this planet is another sphere
Maybe I am broken
I might be a fool
But I know who I was once upon a time
If I wanna dance upon the edge of evil to claim the right, I shall
If I want to play the music of the fools to bring them wisdom, I will
If I feel the power in my palms at the sight of his face I'll feel a thrill
and if it scares you than I will keep walking along this path, I shall
Maybe I am broken
I'll remember one day
Until then I'll remain this shell of secrets, reasons, hopes and dreams
Of unshared thoughts, wishes, needs and silenced screams
I'll wait by my windows and by my doors
I'll count the signs and number the floors
I'll banish the nonsense while fighting the impossibilities
and when you call me a fool I'll recall one thing
I know who I need to be
and I know who I was


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Meadow of Yellows"

it's a cloak, a guard
and a shield, said he
a promise never kept
and I'm in this place waiting
with a city light loft
and wishing for that
castle on the hill
that cliff on the edge
a meadow of yellows
and a memory of love
it's a cloak, a guard
and a shield, said he
but he never came back for me
he never came back for me
he never came back for me
and I can't find the place
that space
Before that girl and her vampire friend
I had a meadow of yellows near a cliff
and far below there was a sea
but I'm not sure where this place could be
and he never came back for me
it's a cloak, a guard
and a shield, said he
a promise never kept
and I'm still waiting
it's a lost key, a lost map
a lost time
and a lie
he never came back for me

All by Elizabeth Azpurua 3/25/11

Swan Prince

Bernadette spun the webs and played the song of your soul
spilled the pearls from the chest and made you play this role
She made you her swan and told you to dance and when you failed
she plucked your feathers and served you before them
Her wicked nature made the birds cease their songs in the trees
and the sun hid her face when she left you there on your knees
Bernadette tore from you the essence of what you might have been
when she plucked you bare and served you to them
I was helpless upon the shore too far away from her evil lare
I could not bring the kiss to change you with how much I care
And so you her victim lead a lonely life awaiting your demise
where she would strip you bare and feed you to them


By elizabeth azpurua

3/22/11

Rainbows Aren't Found Underfoot

We all thought we had it planned out
thought it made sense
played in crayons on the carpet
and drew rainbows
but rainbows aren't found here
We made murals in our tears then and traced their tracks across our faces
and hated the image
and cursed the mirror
and threw out the memories
drowned them in songs
and nothing made it better
and the carpet still remains stained
in a sad version of hope
rainbows aren't found here
rainbows aren't found underfoot
I will run out these doors after the rain
I will shout to the sky after the pain
I will scream at the clouds going insane
Until there's a rainbow up there
Until there's hope up there
Until there's more than the blank sky I never wanted to keep looking at
I am not taking more crayons to the carpet

By Elizabeth Azpurua 3/20/11

This "NEW" Home

made out the letters and made the calls
told them i'm losing everything that I had
and made them all sorry and made them all sad
i held up the ends of my torn hair
i put the closed sign and said i dont care
but in reality i faltered and i felt weak
but they said it'd be OK so i'd try to sleep
and in the mornings i woke day after day
i found the days became less tinged in grey
so even when storm skies fill up the dawn
i will keep on walking keep going on
there may be missing the days i grew in
there may be missing the rooms i played in
there may be missing the place i had known
but i will make new memories in this place i call home

By Elizabeth Azpurua 3/18/11

Pharaoh Could Lose the Birds

"The Birds Don't Know"

The rain is falling like heavy marbles on this roof
Your lack of a response troubles me
And cuts through marrow
Through feelings
I suppose you are being entertained by the blue jays
While I am waiting on ravens
I suppose you are being cajoled by the melodies
While I am writing tuneless songs
But at some point you will end this silence
And I will feel like you drowned me


3/5/11
 
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“Could Lose You”

I have been often wayward and wishing for a better day
I often wander away from the crowd and don’t return
You were always forsaking the beat walking away
And you never really needed the drum
I watched you grow from and oddling into something great
But your eyes never see you and maybe it’s too late
I can’t get you to focus nor get you to dream
You won’t ever plan and you won’t believe
And when the day ends and I didn’t tell you the truth
I always wonder what I had to lose
I have been often relentless and fretting for everything
You calm my spirit and take my soul and set it firm
I dash back and forth between what is happening
But you show me how to learn
I wake knowing you have the potential for infinity
But let you go to sleep not thinking anything
I can’t get you to focus nor to dream
You won’t ever plan and you won’t believe
And when each day ends and I never told you the truth
I realize exactly what I could lose
I could lose you
And who you won’t ever become
3/5/11
 
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 
 
“Pharaoh’s Curse”
 
Like a scarred hand reaching in the darkness
Her thoughts contaminate our minds
With negativity and
Cold
And when she is holding onto the tomb
Of the Pharaoh in her hands
I will let her bear the curse
And I will walk away
From hatred and
Cold

3/4/11

All By Elizabeth Azpurua

Burn Up Love Like This

"Gasoline"

I know you're aching, hurting, fighting
needing, wanting, longing; it's frightening
the future dark, dim, cold, turn on the light
I have the car keys
let's drive
I know it's maddening this life we lead
come and pull up the weeds
and end this
It's burning, scorching, up, up in flames; it's over
And you're standing in the remains
Why is it so damn complicated?
I don't know, dark and cold
let's create a bonfire
I'm waiting here
spreading the gasoline
I want an explosion
someone light the match
It's frustrating, you're aching, he's screaming
she's bleeding
It's a mess we weave into knots; and I'm cold
dark, alone, and like stone we settle
don't settle
I say let's leave together
but this life holds me back

2/23/11

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"Mirage Called Love"

She choked you
brought you to your knees
in satin and pearls shaped like bullets
She made you beg her
need her, want her
and you turned the other cheek
all you became is for her stepping
your back is for her feet
Stupid boy, she doesn't love you
Stupid boy, she never did
Stupid boy, just stand and shake her
but you're too much a gentleman
He broke you
brought you to your knees
in leather and smokescreens and illusions
He made you need him
want him, feel him
and you burned for his touch
just like the fool in love too rough
Stupid girl, he doesn't love you
Stupid girl, he never did
Stupid girl, just turn and leave him
but you're not enough of a woman
You dumb fools, let go, let go and move on
you dumb fools, this love is all too wrong
They hold your heart strings
And they end your breathing
All for what?
For a mirage called love

By Elizabeth Azpurua 2/23/11

Under the Circus Tent

Can we pretend it’s summertime? Sit and watch the stars
as we lay on our backs in the grass?
Can we go inside and make believe we are kids in carnival days?
I want to see the circus and play
Let’s make cotton candy and I’ll feed you pink fluffy clouds
and then turn around and kiss your mouth
Let’s use this quilt and you and make a circus tent for two
and from the patchwork roses I find glee
Can we pretend it’s summertime? Can we bounce around
and do circus tricks?
Let’s get high like trapeze artists in our exhilarating fun
Let’s use this quilt while you become the circus tent
and our make believing fun won’t ever end
You’re the Ringmaster and I’m glad to say that this
made up summer joy is marvelous

2/19/11

.......not that it matters.......

I know you get tired of reading
of looking and seeing
of holding my hand as I battle the past
and cradling my sorrows in your lap
I know you get weary with my leading you backwards
while I bring you down into this pit
and in each moment I relapse
you are there, ever constant and strong
I know you get tired of hearing me cry
of helping my tears dry
of being my shield to get through the night
and forcing me to keep up the fight
I know it's repetitive, tiresome; too many words
and you just would like to quit
but is it really such a hard task
to be there when I'm faltering on?
...........maybe. maybe, maybe I should walk away
into some other distant place
take out my mind and cease all these rhymes
shut off the hymns and the noise
maybe, maybe, maybe I should runaway
never hear another word from me
and when you get lonely and come looking someday
you'll find my empty mind by the seashore
........but here I am
an island...amidst the transcending moments
and you are but a pebble on the ground
until I need you again and you come be my friend
and listen to my mind and every sound
and somehow, somehow, somehow,
you learn it's not such a hard task
........................'til then, it's more words, more poems
more nonsense you pretend to read here
and not that it matters, but you are my anchor
and the darkness is growing again

Choked the Lion Dead

“Dead Lion”



You were brave like lions in a grave
Soot and sand your home
I was warning before the storming
But now I stand alone
I was trying to get you to see the clouds
But no matter how great and loud
My voice cannot reach your closed off mind
And now my dear, we’re out of time
So go and roar your mighty roar
Inside the tomb of the ground
And I will be seeking all the more
And I won’t even hear your sound
You were brave like lions in a grave
Forever silenced then
I could not make sense to you
And so I lost a friend
I wish I could go back and change all the time
Wasted that you wouldn’t pay me mind
But no dear, it’s over, the ground holds you now
And I cannot reach you, I’m not allowed
So go roar your mighty roar
Inside the tomb of the ground
And I will be seeking all the more
Unable to hear your mighty sound


2/4/11
 
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 
"Choked"
I choke, every time, every way, every rhyme
I fall and
bitterest of all
is the closeness that I never could close
the line never crossed, now dead, I suppose
but in every moment
passed by
my tongue sticks to my mouth too dry
and nothing changes
at all
 
2/6/11
 
by Elizabeth Azpurua

Make Me a Prince Charming

I am wishfully thinking and parading these dreams
making mountains out of molehills and
cradling screams
You are battling dragons in a hill faraway
while you're proclaiming the reasons
why you've gone away
I am twirling in circles beneath the stars here alone
while the night birds all call me asking
why I condone
Your absence that clearly left me in this tower
like a forgotten gem I am sealed away
here forever
But I tell the birds that it's all OK.....
Prince Charmings aren't born
because they're made

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Spin Over the Canyon

“Done and Over”

So I’m the one to blame now, huh?
And I guess you want your way now, huh?
Well you better shut your mouth hun, I don’t play these games
And I won’t bend over backwards
I’m done
So I screwed it all up for you, I see
And you are blaming it all on me
But I won’t listen to a thing you say, a word you hold to
Shut up I’m through
I’m over it
You can't blame every little stupidity on someone else
You should look for the blame inside of yourself
I really don’t care if you cry or you scream
And I don’t care if this all ruins your dreams
It’s not my problem
It never was
So grow up and grow a pair
Learn to fix your only problems, dear
And get a life that’s not attached to mine
I don’t have the time for you or the patience to put up with you
I am so through
I’m done
And over it now


1/22/11
 
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"Spin The Wheel"
 
the more we go the worse it gets
the longer time the more "forgets"
the wasted moments, mountain high
like we had tried to reach the sky
but better still the hard to place
thoughts we can never even trace
the endings we had never tied
and all these days we have lied
we tell ourselves it's all OK
like fools confused; go away
run from the knowlege you forgot
i'll try to place what i haven't got
and as time goes i can barely see you
it's all fading; but what is left true?
build a plane for me, my lover
somehow forget we had another
long before this; spin the wheel
and tell me what do you feel?
the problem with time is it all fades away
but i am sure i recall it all this way
 
1/27/11
 
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 
“Canyon”
 
It hurts most days I wake up
And it aches before I sleep
And it haunts inside my dreams but I can’t shake this
You were just what I never looked at
And then suddenly everything I really needed
But there’s a canyon
In-between you and I

I wake most days with no luck
And it continues through the week
It’s the horrible cycle I repeat and I can’t shake it
You were not what I’d expected
But you became the reason I wanted to be
But there’s a canyon
Still between you and me

And I can’t fly and I can’t jump and I can’t build a bridge
And you won’t try when it’s not enough because of this
But I wanted so bad now
Yet it doesn’t matter now, I see
Because this canyon is always going to be
Between you and me
1/22/11



By Elizabeth Azpurua

Too Many Years With No Hope

I was holding up a sign that said "I'm Fine"
and I was pointing to a road named Hope
I was waiting for that day to finally come
holding onto the end of my rope

1/25/11


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


"Too Many Years"


i adored you like cauliflower shaped cloud castles in the sky
and imagined your smile through the windows while the world rushed by
but the images faded
and left streaks by my tears
it's been too many years
i adored you like ladybugs crawling through the grass by my feet
and imagined your laugh would carry me in joy down the street
but the good times faded
and were replaced by my fears
it's been too many years
i still watch the clouds for signs of your name
and i ache inside to wonder what's the same
do you still feel that way or did it all change?
i can't even ask you
i do not know how to
i still wait in the grass for your return
how i ache inside oh how i yearn!
do you think of me at all in all these years?
or is the truth the bitter edge of my fears?
i adored you like the bluejays in the trees outside the windows here
their wings reminded me of your eyes and all that i had once held dear
but the images are bitter
and i can't swallow back my tears
it's been too many years
and we added one more


1/20/11

Catching Meteors With Lettuce

Foolish like you think you can jump off the ledge
And suddenly sprout wings to fly
You’re no dragonfly
Or albatross
You stupid imbecile learn the facts
You were never good at that
So quit making planes of paper and trying
To explore the world
Quit trying to reach the heavens
By searching for a sword
I am done with your stupidity and I cannot think at all
I asked you what you were up to now
And you replied “catching meteors”
Foolish like you think you can save humanity
You are only holding lettuce and
You’ve nothing to compete
There is something stupid in you
A dodo bird, I’m sure
You imbecile you have to learn people aren’t unstoppable
And flying off the cliff for you isn’t possible
You won’t be King Arthur or find a sunken land
And you cannot catch meteors holding lettuce in your hands
Foolish did you think yourself the mighty albatross
When you left across the bridge holding a bag of sand
You claimed to be stardust?
You had tied two purple strings to your finger just to claim
Royalty had always run straight through your veins
And at the bottom of the water drowned I had found you there
A sodden little bag of sand and a drowned head of lettuce
Clutched to your chest
You wore makeshift wings of paper that became your death
Foolish like you think you can jump off the ledge
I scream at you that “you’re no dragonfly
You imbecile”
I rave and scream at the stupidity in your dead face
And kick the head of lettuce and the wings that let you die
You were never very smart
And I begin to cry
But as the nighttime darkens and I watch the stars come out
I see a meteor shower and realize what this was all about
You were always on a fool’s errand and claiming you could be
Just like the heroes of old, but I wasn’t listening
Foolish here you thought you could actually fly
And stop the falling stars far off in the sky?
I should have realized before how far you might go
But I’m the fool now
I should have known


1/19/11

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Title credit: Alex Bach

Helium Snowflake

"Snowflake Kiss"


I wanna wear pink boots in the snow, sipping hot cocoa slow
usin’ up all the hot water at night
I wanna wrap you inside a blanket close, tickle you with cold toes
and stay up too late each time
I wanna be your princess in a sweater and knee socks
Be the girl who reads a book on how to pick locks
Sneak inside a cabin for a winter rendezvous
and lay before the fire showin' you what to do
I wanna wear flannel pj’s in the snow to go out and play
Freezing ‘til my cheeks turn bright pink
I wanna watch movies all day copy every word they say
and act out all the racy scenes with a wink
I wanna be the snow bunny in your dreams with a snowflake kiss
Be the girl you tumble in the flannel sheets during snowed in bliss
Pancakes in the morning because syrup is so fun
Let's make winter last forever; we're nowhere near done
 
1/18/11
 
 
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
 
"Helium"

Breathless
this sensation is like injecting my veins with helium
and somewhere between
the high and the clouds
i realize this isn't flying
it's floating
and i might have to come down
for more
 
1/18/11
 

By: Me.

Remind Yourself What's Important

“Miracle Kisses”

She goes on every day like a champion

Ever brave, ever strong, his companion

She’s a wreck inside though every time the door closes

Will he walk back through again?

Just a kiss that signals goodbye

Full of love holding every reason why

He’s a hero full of pride and everything this country cherishes

But she’s weak kneed every single night

As she’s praying that he’ll be alright

As a hero in another distant place

She is waiting just to see his face

Every hello kiss is a miracle

And she prays to God that she’ll have more

Every goodbye kiss is an anchor

Weighing on her until he comes back home

This is for every woman holding to faith

That her only love will return home safe

She’s a beacon for everyone who needs to see courage shine

A reality etched in a country’s pride

With a kiss that signals goodbye

Full of love holding every reason why

And every day that passes she is holding hope and she’s divine

But she’s weak kneed every single night

As she’s praying that he’ll be alright

As a hero in another distant place

She is waiting just to see his face

Every hello kiss is a miracle

And she prays to God that she’ll have more

Every goodbye kiss is an anchor

Weighing on her until he comes back home

She’s a warrior in the strength of loss

Her bitter burdens that become her cross

She will bear them just to bring him home

Hold him close once more, not want to let him go

She goes on every day like a champion

Ever brave, ever strong, his companion

She’s a wreck inside though every time the door closes

Will he walk back through again?

So she’s weak kneed every single night

As she’s praying that he’ll be alright

As a hero in another distant place

She is waiting just to see his face

Every hello kiss is a miracle

And she prays to God that she’ll have more

Every goodbye kiss is an anchor

Weighing on her until he comes back home

A kiss to bring him back home

Bring him back home

By Elizabeth Azpurua

1/17/11

Like a Rainbow

Love is like a rainbow
multicolored and hard to reach
it comes and goes and fades away
when you run towards it
Some says it promises gold
but can you get there, I don't know
Prismatic and illusive
ever changing and far away
Love is like a rainbow
follows the storms and the rains
like a sign from God and promise
but only for those who get to see it
Some say on the other side is luck
but will you find it, oh, I don't know
Translucent and uncommon
beautiful and far away

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Nothing Here But Signs

*Just as a note the following poem is meant to be read with conviction, as if this were the last words you would say*



"Nothing Here, Nothing At All"

tumbleweeds and empty war drums
no sound, no waves, no muse
no echoes or forests or mountains
and nothing at all to reuse
there is no magic and music and mayhem
and not a drop in the bucket I hold
there are no storm clouds or rainbows
and nothing at all for me to hold
there isn't greatness, nor marvels, nor epics
nothing to breathe into your lungs for joy
there is not a memory left in the stillness
and not a mural on walls here to enjoy
there are no typhoons, no earthquakes
there is not even a sound of a mouse
there are no lyrics or fairytales here at all
and there is nothing left of a house
tumbleweeds and empty war drums
and a plain full of stillness and dirt
the sky is a distant visitor
and the only thing left is this hurt
I am not standing anymore in this emptiness
I am not standing anymore without you
You take everything that had meaning
and you take everything once held true
So long to the birds, and the bees, and the willows
So long to the oceans, the castles, the crepes
So long to the currents, the blizzards, and billows
and goodbye to any of the once loved landscapes
there is nothing of science, inventions and news
there is nothing of pearls, gems, and beautiful hues
There is dirt and a plain full of empty war drums
no sound, no battle, no victor, no sun
I am not standing anymore in this emptiness
I am not standing anymore without you
I will not claim this stupid dirt as my home
I am not settling for remaining alone

1/9/11

 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Signs"

Why do you need a crop circle or
some sign in the sky
to make you see reason and give
you the message you seek?
There won't be a vision on a side of a wall
or a signal from an angel while you sleep
So get off of your sofa and step outside
and realize what has been
here the whole time
You shouldn't have to have an epiphany
to wake and understand
that the reason for your being,
is being my friend

1/9/11

Mary's Garden Wants Me"

"Wanting Something Other Than Me"

You can stand there on your side
walk beside those dirty windows
I will walk beside my pile of rubble
and watch as the wind blows
They will just wave at you and walk right on by
I would have came and stood by you
and never left your side
But you want something else, I guess
So carry off these emblems
and throw away these signs
Stand by dirty windows
And I'll watch the sun rise
I would have watched it standing by you
but you want someone else, I guess

1/8/11

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"That Garden...You know, Mary's Garden"

Mary, Mary, oh you with that garden
Some say you were contrary, but I must confess
You probably stole all the seeds for a haven
and got but a wiley and overgrown mess
I am able to stand here and reach for the stars
but only when high feeling like I'm on Mars
There were makers of music who would sing me a song
but I envied the rhymning and told them all off
Come hither and thither and come for a time
I'll be back tomorrow when I finish this crime
Mary, Mary, how did your garden grow?
They say with some flowers and maids, but I say
You had them try to find perfection in each row
But you'll never see heaven on earth if you won't pray
I am able to stand here and reach the sky
but only while dreaming can I truly fly
Those makers of music try to sing my their songs
but I hate their melodies and I tell them they're wrong
Come hither and thither and come for a time
I'll be back tomorrow when I finish this crime
Oh, Mary, contrary, your garden is lame
I have a whole box of girlish stupid games
Shall you fancy a party to wear your polka dots?
I'll bring the liquor and lets watch your garden rot
They would bring my songs and I hated them so
I wanted the rhymns like you wanted a garden to grow
Unless we do all the work by ourselves
we will never see heaven but end up in hell
Come hither and thither and come for a time
I'll be back tomorrow when I finish this crime

By Elizabeth Azpurua