I Love You in Hope Disguised as a Red Winged Bird

"Flash of Red"

Little flash of red up in the tree
reminds me of hope for you and me
The symbol that someday we shall be fine
a hope I'll hold to and claim as mine
I'll stand by you no matter what you do
No matter what they say or claim was true
That little flash of red sealed inside for me
the choice I made long ago of loyalty
I feel you in ways I never knew could be
I feel your trembling soul so carefully
You can sit here and be so strong
enduring well, enduring long
You become for me a reason just to try
A reason to believe in a hope that I can fly
We can sit and lay out our promises here
to stand together year after year
A little flash of red up in the tree
reminds me of hope for you and me

10/29/11

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"Loving You"

They say, they say you're not worth it
within in their actions
and their reactions
They say, they say that you're stained
that somehow you're marred
because you've been scarred
They say, they say with their glances
that you do not deserve any more chances
but I say, I say with my resolute proclamation
I will not dwindle in weak kneed consternation
Do not mock me
For loving
They say, they say that can't trust you
always expecting your downfall
But they don't know your call
They say, they say I should move on
as if you're not worth it
they say just to forfeit
They say, they say with their glances
You're not worthy of second chances
but who are they to deny what I have seen?
They cannot envision what has been foreseen
But they mock me
For loving
So I say, I say that I trust you
I know you and love who you are
You are like my one wishing star
And I say, I say you're worth this
worth all the waiting
and my soul's debating
I'll say, I'll say in my glances
You're worth limitless chances
I know inside you're gonna make it out
And that you'll discover what you're about
So don't mock me
For loving.........
..........you.


10/29/11

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"Disguised Hope"

I just want to say I am not crazy
I take the signs from God and heed them well
and when I'm scared of what's to come or could be
I always know from him and I'm OK
So when I'm driving to your home or from your home or all alone
and the trees are blurred while tears sting my eyes
feeling hopeless for these people just don't know you like I do
I am driving too fast
thinking about you
And then they fly
from the trees to the road
and I slow down
and I watch them as they go
and their wings catch the light in crimson shades
and I always make it home safe
So tell me, tell me is it a sign?
A sign to hold to hope in this disguise?
Cardinals are visiting my journey to and fro
and carrying hope with them wherever they go
All I know is crying while I cannot see the end
is never going to make it better now
but God will guide me and help me on my way
just around the bend
a red bird is in that tree


By Elizabeth Azpurua

It's a Shame to be Shot

"A Shame"

Seems a shame it's gotten this way
where did we go wrong
where did we stray?
Who pulled out the punches
and fed them to us?
Who pushed us over the edge?
It's just not the same....
such a shame
Seems a sorrow we're not talking
why did you decide that I was mean?
What has happened?
Where did we go wrong?

10/26/11

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"Shot Again"

bulletproof
i never was
shot in the dark
shot in the heart
i had trusted them
trusted them all....
so now i'm made of cardboard
shot with holes
i am sick and sorrowed
in worn out soles
my echo is fading
from ended cries
and i never could stop them
nor close these eyes

"Love Song"

They said, "the roses are red"

They said too, "the violets are blue"

They blamed it on you

I say the sky isn't gray

I say I like it better this way

It's all becoming about you

They can wish to shoot down the wishing star

They'll never reach that far

No they won't

They can try to paint my life without you

But they'll never get through

Without knowing

I love you like rain loves clouds

I love you out loud

I love you, I love you, I do

The roses are red because of you

They blame the garden on you

And curse the sky for being blue

They still blame it on you

They can wish to shoot down the wishing star

They'll never reach that far

No they won't

They can try to paint my life without you

But they'll never get through

Without knowing

I love you like rain loves clouds

I love you out loud

I love you, I love you, I do

You made these violets blue

I say the sky isn't gray

I love it this way

So let them blame all the beauty on you

You make it all seem true

They can wish to shoot down the wishing star

They'll never reach that far

No they won't

They can try to paint my life without you

But they'll never get through

Without knowing

I love you in roses red and violets blue

I love you, I love you, I do

I love you like rain loves clouds

Out loud

I love you out loud

I love you, I love you, I do

You are in everything and everything is you

Lyrics by: Elizabeth Azpurua

Essence of the Atonement

it's too much for me to bare; how i care, it is frail
inside these walls of my being
i might as well have swallowed the essence of the Atonement
and choked my soul
and drugged my mind
for i still love you and i don't know how not to
this disease of yours is killing me tonight
but i can't not love you; i've tried, and tried, but how to?
you're the one thing that can ruin me in seconds
how can i stand strong against you?
i don't want to have to
i want to hold you
and hold you all here
i am tired of pain
and the shame
and the scars
and the endless destruction plaguing now
can i mend these broken minds?
can we erase the wrong of time?
do i, do i know how to at all?
this love just kills me slow; and i won't know, oh no
until i take my last breath
but I feel like I swallowed the essence of the Atonement
and i am drowning in it
won't forsake you now
i love you and don't know how not to
but it hurts
like nothing before

9/21/11

Wicked Mistress

A garden in rows all neat and in line

Special you called it, you called it divine

You made it a marvel to breathe in the aroma

and you kicked them all out

and locked the gate

And shut the joys out

For your sanity's sake

Mrs. Mary, you were quite the contrary one

Never having any fun

Mrs. Mary you became like a bum

and never paid anyone

Now your garden's over-run

with sickly things to come

Better, better run before you're done

You'd made them work like slaves

Until each rose was perfection

And made them dig their own graves

for some twisted revelation

Evil was your middle name

Evil was your candle's flame

Wicked Mistress

Your garden of rows is now in a decline

Special, you'd called it but now it's a sign

The proof that you lost it and you're crazy now

There's a gate at the entrance

There's no visitors now

For your sanity's sake

Mrs. Mary, you were quite the contrary one

Never having any fun

Mrs. Mary, you became like a bum

and never paid anyone

Now your garden's over-run

with sickly things to come

Better, better run before you're done

Wicked Mistress



Stand at the Bottom for You

"My Bed Might be at the Bottom of the Sea"

I cannot break open the silence nor still the roaring waves
your drowning body is lost to me in these silent days
you sink alone and don't you know I'd swim right by you
and if we drown together then that'll just have to do
I'm not making this a playtime game in a park for joy and fun
This isn't a way to pass my time until something else comes along
I was standing my ground and sinking my boots in
My battle gear is ready and I'm set to win
But the silence is like an anchor inside of me
and it becomes a wall over which I cannot see
So, let me be your life raft, let me be your saving gem
Let me the the one who shows you how to make an island
For all those days of troubled waves and your failing aching limbs
I will be the one there beside you or I'll be the one who tries to swim
I know times are troubling, I know we're failing now it seems
yet, deep inside I made a vow to stay no matter the state of things
So, if I drown I drown with you
I will make my bed in a sea of blue
and if I manage to make you an island here
then have no fear, have no fear
Because I'm always here...
I said I would be

9/26/11
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"Standing"

You were standing
that is all I saw
no pretending
yet the feeling raw
burned me inside out
and made a hole
for you to sink into
You were guarding
you were standing tall
not relenting
and you did not fall
I'm wishing I could explain
the emotions there
that mean so much now
so much now
You were standing
with shoulders strong
and I'm not lying
and I'm not wrong
you were stalwart
you were true
you were steady
you were you

9/26/11

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"For You"

to taste you, I would inhale death
to hold you, I would embrace fire
to lay beside you every night I would face the greatest woes
and to cease your troubled dreams I'd chew on razors
if this is not enough from me
then I do not know what more I can do
for you

9/27/11

Mansion Down by the Sea

when the page I see is white
and I've no words to write
and I can't be polite
when the hopes I had have shattered
and nothing else mattered
sickly, here bruised and battered
I await you

You made me a home near the ocean there
a coffin, a prison, a hole so bare
You called it my mansion down by the sea
and you sank me, you drowned me, I'm ending

when the words I speak all are lost
and I cannot bear the cost
into the air all my dreams you tossed
just to watch them all shatter
for none of this will matter
serve me my heart on a platter
I await you

You made me a home near the ocean there
a coffin, a prison, a hole so bare
You called it my mansion down by the sea
and you sank me, you drowned me, I'm ending

In eyes the color of ocean waves
You took my hand and promised me
You'd stand by my side all these days
and bid me to follow you faithfully

You made my death by the ocean there
a coffin, a prison in a hole so bare
It isn't a mansion down by the sea
it's a place to drown me, to kill me, slowly

now I have no words left to free my soul
I will lie helpless here in this lonely hole
until an angel with a saving role
comes to take my hand and give me wings
lifts me out of this darkness while he sings
words to scream at you, to me he brings

I'll escape from my home by the ocean there
a coffin, a prison, no longer will I care
Blue eyes will not be the mansion for me
nor will it be the death of me
you will not be the death of me
I'm not drowning


9/16/11

Shot the Kaleidscope for Happy?

"Shot"

bullet in the dark
i consult your intentions
poke at you with a metaphorical fork
you seem to be colored in something like crimson
perhaps it's poison
you seem to have left a trail
you leave behind a stain
and in my chest I feel pain
what are you?

9/16/11

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"You Sound Like Happy"

if all i can remember is your laugh
that is all i need
that is all i will hear haunt my dreams
if all i can hold to is your happiness
i will feel joy for you
i will feel better knowing the truth
if only laughter were enough to stop the earth
i would claim a moment or two
to carve into my eardrums the sweetest sound
it's the sound of you

9/16/11

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"Kaleidoscope"

They broke me long ago
this you didn't know, this you didn't know
Then you came and told me to stand
told me the remnants of my being were mine to keep
so I remade myself in fragments of glass
and you made me feel beautiful
and useful
and different to the eyes
you made of me a marvel
If you only realized
Prismatic is my heart now, love
contained in changing lights

9/16/11

Dead Cardinal

inside my hand you lay in feathers red
oh, bird, my sweet
i fear you're dead
this swift descent toward barren ground
in wounded thoughts
and mourning sound
she stole your life and freedom wings
in feathers red
and broken dreams
i lay you now in sodden grass
and wait in agony
for you to pass

...they came down....

and they came down
and they came down
like silver breaking, breaking down
in smoke and ash
in death and grief
they came down in melting heat
oh, how we mourned
oh, how we cried
they came down
and many died
oh, how we mourned
and still have cried
for smoke and ash
when many died
they came down
oh, they came down
in breaking glass
and broken pride
and when they fell
and we all cried
it changed it all
with those who died

The Moon is Blown, Mary Poppins

"Blown"

Undo me now
I don't know how
you effect me like you do
It's not contained
my voice isn't restrained
take a bow
for what you claimed
I don't call the shots
but you know the spots
to learn
How can you be so wonderful?
I am incapable
of comprehension
My mind is blown

8/19/11

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"Setting Fire to Space with Mary Poppins' Help"

power keg, loaded rocket in the back seat
send this ship to the moon
take all the contents of Mary Poppins' bag
and we'll set the moon on fire
loaded gun, and don't you turn away
take this higher than before
Whisper to the wind, 'we will catch you again'
and set the world on fire
I'll claim the seven seas if you stand by me
I'll fly straight into the stars
load the cannon, sir, and blow this place high
I am writing your name in the sky
Let's make it all go up in flames, scorch this place
and set fire to the room
Send me on my way, follow, follow say,
'here we are
this is better than the moon'
Blast away, rocket in the world I say
'take me higher than this place'
and set fire
in space

8/19/11

By Elizabeth A.

Take Me Away to Write Songs For You

"I'll Compose One For You"

there's never a song that contains all the words
you make me wish to scream
never a verse so perfectly put to explain what i mean
there is no melody that captures the hurt and the remorse
there is no tune to captivate with the way in which you do
and there is no amount of drumming to suffice in explaining the way you make my
heart pound
there are no words to describe you in a song
and to try, well, it would be wrong
you make my breath catch and you make my heart yearn
you make me smile
you make my soul die and you have let me scream and burn
i cannot express the ups nor the downs and no song will try
no song will ever catch all the tears in one place
nor all the ways i cried
there are no songs about you, dear
there are no tunes nor melodies
and there never was a composer to try, none other
than me


8/4/11


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Ticket Away"

Buy me a ticket to a better place
I need an airplane to save my life
I need to get away from this space
that is keeping me here in strife

Take me on journey for my broken heart
I need a place to rest these weary feet
I am in desperate need of a better start
And I really need new people to meet

So won't you, won't you, won't you
buy me a ticket away?

I need an airplane to save my life
I need a moment to capture happiness
I need a way to get away from strife
and I gotta' combat this loneliness

Take me on a journey for my restless mind
Take me up high and let me leave tonight
I need to leave this place far behind
Let me do what just feels right

So won't you, won't you, won't you
buy me a ticket away?
I needed to leave a couple months
before yesterday

8/5/11

Iron Ground

"Iron Gate"

You're a landscape photo of doom
A haunted corridor and frozen time
You're a dead flower never to bloom
and you won't claim what is mine
So step back here now
And wait
I will place up this gate
These iron bars spell out for you clearly
You cannot have what belongs to me
You're a collection of the dreadful ones
A nasty little thought inside your mind
You're the one choking out my lungs
and I am breaking down inside
So step back right now
And wait
I will place up this gate
These iron bars will explain it perfectly
You don't get to keep what belongs to me

8/5/11
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"The Ground"


the ground is where we drag ourselves along
no flags of white
no freedom song
the ground is where we lay our souls
no words to save
no softer holes
the ground is where we leave behind hope
no ending light
no way to cope
the ground is where we see the sky
no way to reach
no time to fly
the ground is where we lay for sleep
no more pain again
no more fight to keep


7/27/11


by Elizabeth A.

Blooming Dawn

The night spiralled cold and
forgotten was the hope and
winter was bitter to our souls
But now in warmth I shall reach
for a new sun
But tell me where does it shine?

For you I was wanting the truth
I was needing the hope
for a blooming dawn
I was seeking the light at the end
of this tunnel but I
could not see but a shadow

In search of a brigter day
I will make a way
I'll pull you along and keep you here
I'll brave all the elements
I will not recompense the light
For I am trying

For you I was wanting the truth
I was needing the hope
for a blooming dawn
I was seeking the north star
to find where I will start a new
life where the flowers bloom

But darkness still holds me
and winter still bars me
and death is a mask on my face
Spring was a falsehood and who
shall tell me otherwise?
Can you reach for hope in another sphere
in alien skies?

For you I was wanting the truth
I was needing the hope
for a blooming dawn
I was charting our stars
I was battling the edge of
sanity
it was me

The night spiralled dark and cold
and here I am growing old
and you are doing what you're told
but speak in only hushed tones
don't scare the light
don't scare the light
it's coming........
coming......
coming like the dawning of the end of the days
coming like the ending of the errors of our ways
coming like the waves that moved only for the moon
coming, coming, coming, coming......soon

By Elizabeth Azpurua on 8/1/11

This Ship Is Mine

i held my tongue for so long
i held back my words for a song
i couldn't speak when you got near
too much overflowing for you to hear
and the wind blew
and then i knew

no matter what may come
no matter the waves i'll fight
i know this ship is mine
i know this ship is mine
i became the one to set sail here
i know this ship is mine
and i won't abandon it in fear

you make me forget my curse
remind me it could always be worse
you keep me focused on myself
and you keep me here in better health
when the wind blows
suddenly troubles go

no matter what can come
no matter what i'll fight
i know this ship is mine
i know this ship is mine
i am the one setting sail here
i know this ship is mine
and no matter what i might fear
i know i will be fine

you teach me to battle the ocean
with you i learned true emotion
i became who i really am
when you told me who i am
i took off the mask for you
you teach me to ride out the waves
and you are my anchor on bad days
i know i am safer by your side
and together it's an easier ride
i got this ship from you

no matter what may come
i know this ship is mine
the one you helped me find
no matter what i fight
i know this ship feels right
i have gone and set sail here
i know this ship is mine
and i'll never abandon in fear
it's gonna be alright

Heaven For Me

I want to slide inside a bed by an ocean breeze
Tease in provocative words on my knees
Test out the waters for some glorious fun
and let my hair down and go for a run
I don't wanna think, no I don't
I would like to never say 'I wont'
If I could sneak off and be somebody else I would
if I could
There are marvels and mysteries
and clothing to buy
There is men a plenty and I wont deny
That for a summer to be wild and free and alive
Would be just what the doc said would help me survive
I wanna drink the exotic and learn the erotic
Rock climb and scuba dive
I wanna learn the poetic and gain new aesthetic
and when I finally run out of time
I will declare I shall drink a little wine
and devour chocolates divine
This would quite possibly be like heaven for me
If I could only allow myself ecstasy

7/23/11

No Logic, Just Actions

I'm not coming up with reasons
I'm not speaking for the noise
I'm not giving propositions
and you always had a choice
Give me one little moment
I will change your weary thoughts
I always practiced patience
but I learned all I forgot
I will take back my musings
I will not force your hand
I like things that aren't confusing
So now dear, please understand
I want with a want that isn't thoughtful
I need with a need that has no strings
I'll not label out the reasons this is right or
paint a picture of all that we can be
I'll just push you down
so my thoughts aren't bound
to reason or logic or right
I'll just push you down
pin you to the ground
with an enthusiastic bite

by Elizabeth Azpurua

Ruddy Mad Hatter

"Mad Hatter Love"

you make my heart go pitter patter
and i'm crazy like the mad hatter
got no clue what i am gonna do
but you are ticklin' my fancy, you
you go my pulse sped up and jumpin'
and my whole body is feelin' a thrummin'
and there goes the tap tap tap of my heartbeat
i hang on your every word on the edge of my seat
i think you struck me down
and i am held so bound
by your captivating glances
makin' me want to take new chances
hold me down since i might just float away
crazy and foolish i think you make me stay

7/10/11

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"Ruddy"


Hey you with the hazel eyes
Mr. Ruddy I
wanna stay with you
I want to see you smile, stay for a while
and let me laugh with you
Hey you with the wicked eyes
Say you'll become my
reason to follow through
I wanna see your wicked grin, don't pretend
that you don't want to
Hey you with the hazel eyes
Mr. Ruddy I
need to lay by you
I wanna see the stars and feel safe from harm
hold me close to you
just stay right here


7/7/11

by: me

Summer Eagles

So it goes, when you twist and break your bones
I am bent over telephone poles
and seeking sunny skies
I'm pulling wagon wheels
and you're scraping for better meals while they sit and cut your hair
There are opossums a'plenty and banjos galore
and seasons that change before you had asked for more
There are red laces in green grass and eagles to your right
with victims in their sharp beaks and freedom in their sight
So it goes, when you leap and don't land on your toes
You end up bleeding in your roles
and seeing every one's lies
You're getting sick on dandelion weeds
and using toothpicks to cut away the reeds down by this pond
There is nothing more for you here other than the tombstones
and runners leaping barriers while seeking higher thrones
There's balloons forgotten in the trees and eagles to your right
their eyes are saying you are the fool while freedom was in sight
So it goes, you come just like the new wind blows
while I have been digging a dozen holes
to say just how time flies
I was making wooden baby cribs
and singing lullabies in worn out wigs beside this forgotten place
There is nothing but the weeds and wagons, boots and dragons here
and runners singing folklore songs while grinning ear to ear
There's dandelions in my hair and a scar across my heart
while you are looking at the markings left after the part
There's blood in patches on the porch and eagles to your right
with banners blaspheming folly and mocking the freedom in your sight
Since you ran away and left it good and dead
when you never even heard a word I'd said
about broken bones and bitter words and bread

7/4/11

Poison and a Hearse

those stars just don't seem to ever cross
and the bridges I burnt are a formidable loss
the echoes of past times are a sickening sound
and when you enter here my head spins around
there is no light in these darkened rooms
I choke and die within your toxic fumes
you let me crawl across the floor in agony
and never give me any of your mercy
and now those stars rain down like evil fire
and all the reasons I held onto become dire
you breathe the poison into me like a curse
and then call for me a long black hearse
and watch as I'm taken in a coffin of loss
bearing the emblem of a broken cross
so my lifeless form will remember the sickening sound
of the love that I sought after and never found

7/3/11

Catch My Breath this Summer

"Catch My Breath"

is it worth all the endings
all the walls?
is it worth all the beginnings
and broken falls?
give me a moment to catch my breath
and I'll tell you everything
from the movement of your shoulders
to your smile
from the ending of my troubles
and the miles
you have crossed just to make me catch my breath
and say all I need to say to you
that I love you, I do
and yet you throw me down the hill again
break me, bend me, until I end
you crash me here across this floor
and I keep coming back for more
is it worth all of the endings?
is it worth all of the miles?
can inside the new beginnings
I hold onto a smile?
inside of every moment
you make me stop and catch my breath
and I will tell you every second
that I love you ....
to death

7/2/11

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"Summer Love"

Trip
skip, hop and fall
Jump up and embrace these summer skies
and when the hot summer grasses grow
look me in the eyes
leap, dive and fall
into you

7/2/11

By: Elizabeth Azpurua

Black Throne

I was a kaleidoscope of empathy
Put me under a microscope of apathy
Take away my reasons why
Shut my mind to close my eyes
Your judgements harsh and bitter now
Take my improvements and blur them out
I was sitting in that well; from the bottom where I fell
You pulled me out to tell me how I was a fool
Now I try to make amends
But who am I to pretend?
There isn't any love left here
So go back to your lonely sphere
You left me like an attic toy
You took away my life and joy
And after all these bitter fears
I am counting up all these tears
In an infinite amount I'll see
Just what you had meant to me
I rode a black throne for you
Tried to rule that home with you
So use all your logic here
And tell me so it becomes clear
You never wanted to hold me tight
You only wanted me wound up, right?
I will be free and I will stand tall
In my epiphany I will know it all
Take your silver throne
And leave my one true home
I will remain outside alone
Free to finally roam

6/17//11