Unnecessary Death Of Us

I can't stand this anymore

it's like a bloody tug-o-war

and unleashed upon my broken heart

this rain

I can't fight you anymore

or claim I've known who it's for

this tangled web is a woven mess

of pain

So just go away

I am turning the other way

Somewhere far from you

Where I can breathe without breathing for you

Where I can think without thinking of you

Where we can bleed without bleeding out

for death

Somewhere far from you

Where I can live without living for you

Where I can give my heart without holding you

Where I can jump without jumping down for you

to this death

I won't do this anymore

I am not your toy tossed on the floor

so let go of this broken mess and let me

get away

I can't hold you anymore

or think to myself it's been done before

I'm throwing the keys away and let me

runaway

I am leaving now, so goodbye

I turned away with one final cry

Going now, somewhere far from you

Where I can breathe without breathing for you

Where I can think without thinking of you

Where we can bleed without bleeding out

for death

Somewhere far from you

Where I can live without living for you

Where I can give my heart without holding you

Where I can jump without jumping down for you

to this death

This unnecessary death of us

I can't fight you off anymore

I am turning here to shut this door

and try to put me back together after all

this rain

I won't do this anymore

this stupid endless tug-o-war

I am pushing this all aside and letting it go

goodbye pain

And I'm sailing away

Getting so far away

Somewhere far from you

Where I can breathe without breathing for you

Where I can think without thinking of you

Where we can bleed without bleeding out

for death

Somewhere far from you

Where I can live without living for you

Where I can give my heart without holding you

Where I can jump without jumping down for you

to this death

This unnecessary death of us

Sorry, I won't let you be the death of us

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye now

By: Elizabeth Azpurua

...hear me?

hush, shut up and listen
what do you hear...now?
shut up and listen
do you hear me soft
or loud?
can you tell what i'm thinking
oh, tell me, can you hear me
can you now?
hush, shut up and listen
i won't say it loud
shut up and listen
is my voice softer still
a whisper in your ear?
shut up and listen
is it barely audible to you?
do you hear my cries, my joys
is my laughter through your soul?
can you hear me now...can you?
will you hear me out, will you?
hush, shut up and listen
to my calling
softly
softly
shut up and listen
as i scream your name loudly
tell me, tell me can you
can you hear me now?
oh, tell me now can you hear me?
do you know what i say,
do you know how i pray,
do you hear me?
will you hear...me
softly?
do you hear me...still?
hush
shut up and listen
can you hear me...
...
... still?
will you, will you hear me
will you, will you, will......
...you...



by yours truly
(pause each period for a heartbeat)

Boys beware.....

"The Girls Next Door"

on the eve of a nightmare they perform wearing pearls
and lace, a corset of satin, and hair caught up in curls
they dance to the sound of your sorrows and pain
with music to sing to that makes you insane
their faces like angels hide all their sins in a mask
they'll bend over backwards and do all that you ask
the price that you pay is red like fine silk
and flows out your heart and spills like it's milk
you thought they were magical creatures of joy
but discovered they use and discard you like a toy
their performance is lights flashing to entrance
quick, shut your eyes and don't follow that dance

by me

Magic and a Tragedy

tragic it seems now; not that it ever never seemed so, tragic that is
and magic it was once; not that you ever liked me so, with magic
and here lies my heart;
stone cold and old now it seems
never seemed another way though, did it?
and you never did understand it
sadness is all I know; not that I ever never knew happy, but so long
and precious was us once; not that it ever mattered to you, or will
and there goes my hope;
fell like a stone and dead it seems
never seemed another way to you I guessed it
and you'll never ever get it
but it's all poetry now
tragic; it's a tragedy now and so you never ever got another memory
quite like magic; never like we were once, all magic and a tragedy
and there lies my heart;
stitched, shuttered, and boarded up
feels sorta' dead to me now it seems
ever once it was another way wasn't it?
I'll just never understand it

by elizabeth azpurua on 6/12/10

Breathe the Air of Summer

hush, the scent of jasmine
and the air of summer wind
the balmy nighttime splendor
in the hallow of windows
follow the sky across your soul
open your arms wide here below
and breathe in the magic
and breathe in the magic
hush, the whirl of window fans
and fireflies battling the wind
the static charged summer air
is the constant present friend
follow the clouds across your soul
open your arms wide here below
and breathe in the magic
and breathe in the magic
it's summertime here
soak it in

by Elizabeth Azpurua

Is Hate a Color?

hailstorms
they are the wickedness of sorrow
the basic enemy we borrow
to leave shattered panes of glass
stained like the colors we hate
windowpanes
they fear the enemy like an avalanche
and wait for hope like happenstance
their folly in the stains upon their surface
stained with the colors they hate
the kaleidoscope
leaves the cathedral a marvel of glass
the floors covered in memories past
the faulty edges so jagged and used
stained in the colors of hate


By Elizabeth Azpurua 6/7/10

"You" Can Mean So Much, Not "You", but "You"

"Etched Forever"
chasing butterflies with no net
and battling cobwebs in the closet
startled by the truth
that makes pock marks in the wood floor
and leaves the remembrance
etched
forever
I am etched forever
fighting demons with a toothpick
and winning doubled over and sick
stranded by the truth
that made rivulets all across the walls
and leaves the remembrance
etched
forever
I am etched and I'll never
recover
from you
but you don't care, do you?


5/29/10

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"Because of you......"

There may be happy days
and there may be sad
and sometimes I battle against both
for what I never had
but no matter the emotions
nor the feelings inside
you lift me with your voice
and I'm better by your side
It's the strength in your arms
and the smile on your face
your soft cotton shirts
and knowing I'm safe
I feel like flying, love
and feel like trying love
and feel like I'm in love
because of you, love
it's all better now today
because of you

Both by Elizabeth Azpurua

Let the Broken Heart Go

"Never Let Go"
i was sitting and dreaming of the day
and hoping, praying that it all would be OK
like a melody to the moon and a prayer to the sky
i was hoping that they'd see the reasons why
they are peas of the same pod and a dream nearly dreamt
an ocean of pontential by the sands of good intent
and i see them like the lightning to shoot across a cloud
and somewhere i am feeling like their music rings aloud
they are what i hoped for and dreamed just to see
a love to bloom inside them and to see them so happy
i have been waiting for the moment that they would know
and hope to God that they'll never let it go
never let that feeling go

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"Healing a Broken Heart"

Breaking, breaking down
and screaming to the mirror
someone shut it out
and turn off the lights
let all the memories go
and let the enemy escape
and tell the shadows they
aren't welcome today
He was all the emblems of love
and all the markings of pain
and she was hatred in a bottle
and a broomstick flying shame
and I was holding in my hands
the feeling of the blame
If the seasons were a changing force
all these scars would be undone
but no, no the time is slow and the
pain is just begun
Breaking, breaking down
and you scream at the walls
and someone shut it out
and turn off the lights
take the pillows home
and toss them out the doors
and never let the shadows
come get you


by Elizabeth Azpurua

Broken Merry-Go-Round

we all tap, tap, tap dance around the truth like a merry-go-round that's broken and doesn't know it yet
we find marvels in the inconsequential things and tedium in the marvelous
we are like fools stepping off the cliffs into the sea to be swallowed whole and unfulfilled
why capture moon beams and eyelashes and shooting stars in our hands when we simply wish to chuck them out into the universe?
i am finding music in the silence of cavernous moments where the words you should have spoken never left your lying lips
and i am finding poetry in the stupidity of life's choices made selfishly
and it all seems very wrong indeed
i am a rambling fool and tap, tap, tap dancing around the truth like i have become the broken children's ride
and who is to say what my end will be when i realize the wealth of knowledge i ignored all these years?
we all like fools wait for the moment where destiny collides with infinity and eternity just begins for us
and somehow we seek that pearl, that one no one ever put a price on
we collect lucky charms and good luck wishes and hope to God we fall into a love we never knew existed and when we realize it's not what we wanted we cry
if i find solace in your pain and amusement in your discomfort and music in your silence am i a horrible person?
if i spin around in glee on this broken merry-go-round am i also a fool?
and i wonder if i should mind that notion
for all the world is a stage and life is a journey but hell if i know where i'm at in this splendid affair
i think the sound of your voice is choking on the absence of truth
and we all tap, tap, tap dance around that soundless bounty
like fools in a magic show we believe in the illusions of the world your words created once
lovers are all foolish puppets in a game of reality in the vast world we created simply to chuck it into the universe with the emblems of our useless luck
and i never enjoyed so much the facts you never shared before because now i see the essence of what you never could have become
but it's ok sir
this ride is spinning fast

...by me

Fake Moon

Hollow eyed and wearisome
and startled by the way
the moon falls asleep each morn
and the sun steals the day
like perfection in a teacup
and a stony little brook
it's all fairytales with laughter
that were written in a book
not the shadows by your pillow
and the haunting voice of dreams
nor the blanket that surrounded
while the ceiling caught your screams
try to cover up the lamplight
meant to light the corners dark
now a fight against the fears and
pain left in mark after mark
until the sun upon the window
lights a falsehood of the day
and the lying little sunbeams
bring the kiddies out to play
hollow eyed and wearisome
walking out in the afternoon
face the brightness with a smile
fake as the light of the moon

by elizabeth azpurua

Unspoken Past Anger Here

"Scorch the Past"


after the hurricane
the aftermath
the selfish pain
the ending tides of tidal waves and the
rush of voices screamed
the fires all had ceased with flame
the leftovers
discarded shame
and smoke had filled the rooms
where all the hopes had bled
but now I'm going to
kindle flames
and start the fires to burn
like wildfire and brimstone
and scorch the past


5/26/10


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"Anger Represented Here"


what is the point anymore
when you don't pay attention here
and that toadstool you sit upon
is rotting out
and the air around your head
is blue and green and grey
and every motion of your mouth
just sickens me?
there isn't a point at all now
and no need to mention anything
for the remainder of your days
is spent while high
and that rotting toadstool is your dream
and the haven of your selfish stupidity
while every other living thing
just walks away


5/17/10


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"Unspoken Unanswered"
discarded photos in a photo book
and a nasty taste in my mouth
and somehow words still unspoken
are waiting to come out
I wanted to...but the words failed
discarded dreams in a dream journal
and a tear or two never shed
and so many questions unanswered
turn circles inside of my bed
I wanted to speak...but cannot


5/27/10
by elizabeth azpurua

My Singing Bucket

"Not Singing that Song"

Let it be
There was a song, saying so
Over and over
Words I think I oughta know
But so what? It's easy to sing to the music
Not so easy to really do it
and I'm sorry it's not my design
There's too much sorrow
and stress and confusion
and rude boys full of fake illusions
and the selfishness of petty people
but there was a song once
I don't sing
There's a saying about being still
and trusting God
and I keep saying but the words
just seem so faint
It's not my fault that this whole world
seems to conspire against me
Let it be
But that just isn't me
but they all sing
I figure times are a bit cloudy and
the moon may hide her light
but the reality is harsher in the bright
of the day's light
and somebody in their wisdom said something
we all think we get
But I'm not happy yet
Not quite happy yet
it's all postcards of promises
and indulgent foolish boys
and the emptiness of pocket books
and the absence of pure joys
it's the retarded little happy maker's setting
off to work
and the silly little window sitter's making
others look
Let it be, let it be
it's not the concept I perceived
Where is the justice in this silence?
we all hold our tongues in check
Let it be is not for me
nor was stillness nor fighting
I am tired of the world tossing stones
at me
It's ok and I'll be fine and in the rattling
of my weary mind
I'll accept that wisdom of that song...
...but just won't say it yet

5/17/10
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"My Storm"

Take it back...
I don't want it no more, I said, I said
Yes, I said it
Take it back...
It doesn't feel anymore, I said, I said
I have said it
But then suddenly like the storm on the sea
there was raucous inside of my soul
You made the waves and the turbulence here
and somehow inside the madness I'm whole
It is deeper and rising and waves crashing;
lightning
but inside this chaos I'm whole
inside this chaotic soul

5/17/10

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"Bucket"
scrabbling for a crumb inside this bucket
no one ever thinks to put more in
and i'm faltering with nothing, so forget it
and this time i am despairing, ragged, thin
and i am unsure of the meaning inside all this
and i cannot face the concept i can't win
so forgetting i have nothing in this bucket
i'll reach my hand inside once again
pray to God i'll pull out something precious
despite i am despairing, ragged, thin
but there is never merit in saying screw this
so i'll stick my hand in the bucket again


5/16/10

All by Elizabeth Azpurua

Drowning Summer Lover's Riot in Colors

"All a Riot Now"


hungover and a mess
and watching dust collect on you
I am feeling like I ran a race
and the marathon ended too soon
who is to say the reasons why?
I have no answers anymore
I have a broken lullaby
I play it over and over for
...it reminds me of then
when life stilled inside the forest
and we played like children there
and the world seemed a cherished place
for we sang without a care
...not anymore, though
it's all a riot now
and the peace I felt is swept by the wind


5/7/10


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"When Summer Comes..."

I'll spill cornstarch on this rodeo
and bathe in the dust of a thousand
sunny days
but spend myself over the edge in
one thousand useless ways
just to cover the summer humidity
in mosquitoes
it's the longing from the tips of my toes
to the edge of my fingertips
and all in between this sundress
it's everything I wanted in the millions
of fireflies flowing like an illusion of
water through the starlit air
I am incapable of leaving this place
where boots and laces fell into dirt
and horses leaped without a care
and summer braids wound in flowers
were the artwork I proclaimed before
it's all toothpaste and sunny smiles
and laughter to the moon
but it's all over so very soon
in the wake of troublesome skies
and lightning shattering dreams
I wanna make peach pie and eat
corn cobs until the salty butter
melts away from my mouth
and I wanna leave June beetles and
butterlfies in the day for the sound of bats
chasing their foes across the air above
this porch full of music and laughter
and ride handcarts down hills
just to lose myself in the breeze
but it's not what it seems
and I'm no child no more to speak
like I've not a care in this summer filled world
Not while I hold the jean jacket close
and shiver in this cool spring air

5/10/10


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"Colors in Love Poems"


burgandy, I sang you a poem, I did
and hurt like hell when the words stuck against my throat
of broken promises and youthful dreams
it's all the lies we tell ourselves to fall asleep


horizon white, I sang a poem of you, I did
and screamed inside when the colors all came back to me
of illusions I made plastic soldiers in my head
all the reasons I erased inside the bed


goldenrod, my feather's white, my eyes so blue
a poem or two I shall sing just for you and hope to God
I'll never choke on the words that leave me now
and I'll trail kisses all across your brows


rainbow, you could never hold all the colors close
nor magnify the bounty in the prose I chose to tell
there is too much pain and too much lies
and the nervousness of silly butterflies
but I sang the poems, I did....for each of them


5/7/10


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"Lover's Drown"

I sought you forever by the seas
holding shells inside my hands
to still the water's dance
Fool I thought that I could make them stop
and let me across
and let me across
I walked forver alone by the sea
a shell for you I would give again
to give me one more chance
Fool I thought I could calm the ocean here
to let me across
to let me across
But the sirens all laugh at my pleas
singing songs to stir up the sands
and give me not a chance
Fool I thought that I could make them stop
they laughed at my loss
they laughed at my loss
singing "lovers drown, lovers drown, and they go down"
singing "they all drown, they go down and down and down"
singing "all your hopes are gone and sinking down"
singing "come with us and sleep where lovers drown"
I follow them into the waves where I go down

5/8/10

Marshmallows Everywhere

"Everywhere is Nowhere Here"


nowhere is in everywhere
so everywhere is nowhere here
and here is nowhere in everywhere
because everywhere is everywhere here
nowhere never was somewhere
and somewhere is somewhere there
and here is a somewhere in everywhere
but everywhere is nowhere here
and somewhere is now everywhere
to someone who is nowhere there
and no one never was nowhere
when they're always present somewhere here
and somewhere is somewhere in everywhere
and everywhere is nowhere here
nowhere is in everywhere
and somewhere is in everywhere
and here is in everywhere
and everywhere is nowhere here


5/6/10


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"Carousel of Marshmallows"


mint julep and a partridge in a tree
and an acorn by the hill
and a book with a lock and key
and leaping is my thrill
take a stormy sea song higher
and an avalanche follows you
and make a moonbeam brighter
and I'll wish forever on the blue
carry wishes in his pocket
and spend them by the bay
tuck the photos in the locket
and teach the monkeys all to play
like a carousel of marshmallows
a sweet tooth on this floor
I am forever chasing shadows
and taking pennies to the door


5/6/10

Red Stilled Heart at the End

"Golden Door and Red Flowers"


carnage, bleeding, lifeless forms of stupidity
but from this mess i'll make a mural
and paint with blossoms that are red
that golden door seemed foolish once
now a beacon on this island
scattered with sorrow to and fro and far below
and i'll make a masterpiece of rose bushes
red petals and thorns and reminders of grief
and this field of poppies will overflow
with the shadows of what used to be
little bleeding puppets set on shore for a musical
and silly clown faces laughing inside the gore
i'll paint on canvas a field of flowers red
and leave inside a golden door and golden steps
and if asked a meaning tell those fools
here is earth and that's His door
and those weren't flowers once before

5/3/10


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"The End"


dungeon and tower
and lock and key
and fortress with a river
and an island in the sea
and for what?
for who?
and when?
come hither and surrender
and never walk again
breathless with longing
and devotion
and throw away your soul
and cast away the boat
and lay down to die
and for what?
for who?
and when?
come hither and surrender
and never walk again
this never was your battle
and I never was your friend
and love never was the enemy
until you learned the end
dungeon and tower
and lock and my key
and fortress with my river
and the island of my sea
for me and me alone
and for you the ending throne
when all the world passes us by
come hither and surrender
and never walk again
this place is called my heart
and this love is your "the end"


4/30/10


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"Still My Heart"


Be still my heart
and break not at the sight of him
his wounded soul
was never shield enough for you
and with his name
broke clouds into a raining mess
and you learned guilt
when never reasons belonged to you
Be still my heart
though lights grow dim inside him
his shattered world
is not yours to make anew
and with his name
caused an avalanche of troubles
to bleed on you
but it was never your own scars
Be still my heart
while years of pain may mark you
and don't look back
for lessons move you ever forward
take care and focus
on a path set out before you
and let him linger
in his shattered dreamless form
Be still my heart
though your poised and set for breaking
and yearn him not
for his whispers were all lies
and hold no candles
his road is dark and troublesome
while yours is sunset
leaving rainclouds behind you


5/2/10


By Elizabeth Azpurua

Waterfalls in June

ease into my cavern, fall upon me
like waterfalls in June
and sting along my shoulders
and I'll dance nails across yours too
uncomfortable upon your skin
the dew is slower falling
and breath it steels out of your lips
to leave you needing, longing
like climbing up this mountain height
and tumble back down slow
and plunging into deeper depths
breathless further there we go
and like a run across the sands
and flight like birds beneath the moon
I'll toss myself back into your hands
fall upon you like waterfalls in June
and still this earth we played across
and cause the stars to weep
until every moment in our hearts
is etched forever just to keep
this memory here with us

by Elizabeth Azpurua 5/1/10