Born Again in Your Hands

pale, moonlight kissed and ethereal
like a living work of art
and kissed by fire and light
and then I feel falling apart
and I'm breaking before the start
put your hands on me and don't move them off of me
just move them over me
and under and in between
place your lips on me and kiss me senselessly
and kiss all over me
and sensual and seductively
Oh, in the moments when the walls don't know how to contain us
I...I want to fall to pieces and be born again in your hands
so destroy me, then erect me, then re-break and rebuild me
I...I want to fall to pieces and be born again in your hands

10/21/12

Lonely Heart

"Breaking Heart"

they say the wind whistles through the barren trees
on a cold winter night
but is there a way to describe the sound of a breaking heart?
the air is empty, the love becomes a swelling thing
to burst out into nothing
where no receiving hand awaits and no kiss can comfort
it is far different than wind in barren trees
it is like the sound of fire becoming ice
and choking off the fumes
of futile love

10/9/12

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Lonely Morning"

in the lonely morning sunrise where the sheets all seem so cold
and your emptiness is threatening to keep you in its hold
and the moment your eyes greet your room you see a sorry sight
for there is no lover by you and the room never feels bright
and don't worry your pretty head
these days will go by you
because someday with someone else
you'll awake again brand new
and until then when you wake alone inside your empty bed
just remember these days will pass and better are ahead

10/21/12

On A Page

If nightmares were cobwebs I'd be wrapped up tight
and if wishes were fishes I'd be fed all night
and if mountains were molehills I'd never stumble
but I seem to be always about to crumble
into words
filling spaces
on a
page
If love made us stronger I'd surely be braver
and if mercy was common I'd be a Savior
and if reason was practiced I'd be one of the wise
but seems I'm a fool now in the disguise
of a poet
filling spaces
on a
page
If memories were coffins I'd have been buried by now
and if doubts were on fire I'd have burnt my house down
and if hope were a butterfly it'd still be a caterpillar
caught stuck waiting and growing bitter
spitting words
filling spaces
on a
page

10/17/12

Enchanted Kiss

If I laid in an enchanted sleep
would your lips be the ones
that awaken me?
Or would I wake to solemn hymns
of a battled waged where
you did not win?
I wish I could in token keep
your laugh with me inside
to lighten me
For if ever the darkness lasts
in a world gone cold
in scattered ash
I'd like to wish if but somehow
your lips on mine
could seal our vow
Wherever we be in wake or sleep
that you and you alone
will awaken me

10/13/12

Running Shoes

Darling, don't be so sad

I don't want to be the reason

I just want to change your mind

and tell you so

Darling, you don't run fast

but each time I get close

You start running and I

just don't want it so

 

Don't make me the reason

you put on your running shoes

and run, run, run, runaway from me

Don't make this an issue

that you have to put on your shoes

and run, run, run, runaway from me

Don't make me a reason to start

running

 

Darling, don't be angry

I don't want to be the why

I just want to help you up

and stand by you

Darling, you get so sad

each time I get close

You want to get away from me

oh, but what did I do to you?

 

Don't make me the reason

you put on your running shoes

and run, run, run, runaway from me

Don't make this an issue

that you have to put on your shoes

and run, run, run, runaway from me

Don't make me a reason to start

running

 

Darling, I'm sorry if I make you scared

Darling, I'm sorry if you think I don't care

Just let me tell you, tell you how

much I could love you right now

Don't be sad, or angry, just let me

show you before you are running

I don't know how to keep you here

when you're putting on those shoes, dear

 

Don't make me the reason

you put on your running shoes

and run, run, run, runaway from me

Don't make this an issue

that you have to put on your shoes

and run, run, run, runaway from me

Don't make me a reason to start

running

 

Darling, please don't keep running

 

 

Salt Water and Hope

Her spine outlines her frame
in stark contrast to the food on her plate
She nibbles at the food as if it will
poison her
My stomach aches in hunger
in response to the food on her plate
I salivate wishing I could taste it
for her
Her gaunt frame tells me she
doesn't trust enough to eat
My aching body confirms
the reason I need meat
but I have salt water and hope
to satisfy my hunger
and she has a wasted feast
not getting younger
I would take that entire plate
and savor every bite
Yet to her, she can pick in
disdain; it's not right
When she leaves the table
and the bounty before her is wasted
I fall to the floor
If I were even able
I'd have eaten what she never tasted
to fill my poor
body more than salt water and hope

by elizabeth azpurua

Schizophrenia Reverie

Well there's something I can't feel
and there's too much that's not real
and I can't catch the light any longer now
The mistletoe has crumbled
and the garden is overgrown
I feel trapped inside a coffin
in a dress I've never sown
Well tell me what is real?
and tell me what you feel
Dynasties will fall before this illusion dies
I am still reeling from a magic carpet ride
and there's nothing new here
but there's voices I hear
Well there's something I can't feel
and there's too much that's not real
and I can't catch up to the light anymore
The towers all toppled
this seaweed is not from my home
in a startling song from a siren
I feel lost in world unknown
Well tell me what is real?
and tell me what you feel
Continents will shatter before this illusion dies
I'm still pretending I was a magic unicorn's bride
and nothing is ever new here
but the voices are all that I hear
and they're calling me.....

By: E.A.

Living Mind

"Get Back to Living"

No remedy in sight for this, but broken shambles in my fists
You're insecure and I am afraid
What we have isn't so safe

There's ions of time to spend on this and I am incapable of it
The times I made inside my bed
I unraveled in dread

So take my weary heart and make it beat again
and break open my deep shut eyes
So I will see again
and wither away my walls I built to keep them out
and take me over the edges
and break me out
I am waiting to get back to living
but this trying not to is debilitating

No reason for my battle waged against the world of hope
I was insecure and I was afraid
for where was love ever safe?

There's mountains out of my molehills and I can't cope
What does a girl like me feel
when nothing feels real?

So take my weary heart and make it beat again
and break open my deep shut eyes
So I will see again
and wither away my walls I built to keep them out
and take me over the edges
and break me out
I am waiting to get back to living
but this trying not to is debilitating

I just want to breathe and I want to leave
and I want to scrub off my harder edges
and erase the stains and break off the chains
and tear down these unwelcoming ledges

You're insecure and I'm afraid
What we have isn't so safe
but I want to try to try to live again
because not trying is not working, and
Take my weary heart and make it beat again
and break open my deep shut eyes
So I will see again
and wither away my walls I built to keep them out
and take me over the edges
and break me out
I am waiting to get back to living
but this trying not to is debilitating

by elizabeth azpurua

10/6/12

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"My Mind"

I know my thoughts are not your thoughts
and my mind plays different tunes
My dreams have been unraveling
and I wonder often if yours do
I know my days don't go like yours
and there are ways to make this better
My time is spent differently than you
and I think perhaps if you could ever
see things the way I do
maybe you'd know why I think like I do
I know my memories are not the same as yours
and my mind is a maze of metaphors
My dreams are nightmarish and complex
and I know you don't care what they're for
But if you could live like I live just for a day
You might understand the tune my mind plays
And if you could wake up and in this bed of mine
Perhaps you'd understand the ways of my mind

10/4/12

Damage

Landslides have covered the pavement
and new dawn has dawned with grief
The rains fell and washed all of us away
and where shall come our relief?
Earth shattering shaking around us
and trees have forsaken their roots
The windows have broken on this ground
and left crushed under our boots
The strong winds have torn us asunder
and the damage left in their wake
caused all the children and mothers to grieve
and cry out for heaven's sake
Oh, where do the pieces fit in the puzzle?
Where is the light at the end of the tunnel?
Who is the cause and who is the relief?
and tell me what is the depth of their grief?
The rubble is marked by what used to be
and the signs are all facing down
So grab hold of your loved ones and hold them close
and wave goodbye to your town
Landslides have covered the pavement
and the morning is harsh in the light
The floods have washed everything away
and the wind had ravished all night
Earth shattering shaking and broken
and the branches have made you a map
to lead you on to a long weary road
of which there's no turning back

by: elizabeth a.

Strange Halloween Salt

"Strange Wayfarer of Autumn"

Shave off your odd bits and break down your walls
but I can't carry the weight of your wounds anymore
and out on the foggy road strewn in autumn leaves
I'll let all the heavy burdens fall off of me
and I will walk away into the sunset knowing that
winter is coming and I am too weak
I can't hold you back
I will fasten wings for you
but they might look like those of a bat
and if someone should think you a demon
just know, I never wanted that
but I am a wayfarer and I am strange
and the woods were always my home
and after I broke down all your barriers
I still felt so very alone
I can't carry the weight of your wounds anymore
and this road is getting steep
I'll let the burdens all fall off of me
and climb this mountain peak
Winter is coming after these reds all fade
and I'm to weak and still too afraid
but I will fasten you wings I'll make
and I hope you won't scare anybody away
but I must walk on my way now
for the fog has settled on me
and this Autumn road is strange like me
but someday you'll fly back and lift me away....
...for out of your wounds I fastened those wings


10/2/12

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Here Comes Halloween"

Black roses and red leaves
and orange carved faces
with cobwebbed spider sleeves
and wrought iron fences
Darkness and harvest moons
with bats lining windows
Enchanting haunted tunes
and lanterns in rows
Sheets making ghosts
and painted ghoulish faces
and scarecrows on posts
and creepy haunting places
There goes a witch on by
Here comes a goblin in green
Did you hear a banshee cry?
Here comes Halloween

9/29/12

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Drink before the Salt"

I can't lead you to the water
and I can't make you drink
but I can feed you salt
and take you to the brink
and then when you are craving
something to quench your thirst
I will bring the rain down
so you won't think you're cursed
and drink, drink, drink, drink up darling
the water's falling
and it's time to be healed
so drink, drink, drink, drink darling
or I will bury your bones in salted earth

10/1/12

Pinocchio

Pinocchio, have you found a doll to be your dearest friend?
I learned long ago to call your wooden arms my home, my friend
I would untangle your strings
and tell you of a world you did not know
and I would say, would say, would say
Pinocchio, Pinocchio
One day a boy for real you will be

Pinocchio, have you found a new marionette to hold you?
I learned long ago to dance with you gently, guiding you
I would repaint your faded parts
and tell you of a world you longed to know
and I would say, and I'd always say
Pinocchio, Pinocchio
One day a boy for real you will be

Oh, have you found another to pull upon your strings?
I would have crafted for you paper wings
and I would remind you of wishing stars up high
and tell you of a hope I had of which you knew not why
Pinocchio, Pinocchio
One day a boy for real you will be
And side by side and no strings to guide
you will walk hand and hand with me

Pinocchio, have you found a doll to know?
Have you found someone who you want to know?
I would still untangle all your strings
and tell you of a world I wish to show
here I am to say, to say, to say
Pinocchio, Pinocchio
One day a boy for real you will be
and I hold to hope for this reality
and upon a star I wish for you, for me
but please don't let someone walk you away.....from me

by Elizabeth Azpurua

The Fall of Rome

Take my fragile bony hands and lead me into the dark
and with me dance across this floor
like it is Central Park
and when I awake from this dream tear out my heart
and with it stitch my insides up
like macabre art
I want to hear your lullaby whispered in my ear
before you close them off
whisper softly Dear
When I am buried in the earth behind your home
remember the dance we shared
the fall of Rome
I want you to carry my hollow soul underneath your tongue
where each time you say my name
or air escapes a lung
You will remember my bony hands in a darkened room
where we danced across the floor
before I met my doom

by: elizabeth

Banner of Love

Go ahead and cry your Hail Mary
and sprinkle Holy water on me
You can light me up like a Christmas tree
and spread my ashes in a cross for all to see

I might be a martyr or maybe I am
a demon in disguise
I might be an angel or hell, I never said otherwise
but if you think that I am wrong, I will tell you this
I am only a woman in love
memorize the shape of my fist
You can send me straight to hell and pave my way in stones
you had already used on all of my windows
I don't care who you think I am supposed to be
I am just a woman no matter what you name me

Go ahead and throw salt on me
paint a cross over all that my eyes see
You can light me up like a Christmas tree
and spread my ashes out to get them on their knees

I might be a martyr or maybe I am
a demon in disguise
I might be an angel or hell, I never said otherwise
but if you think that I am wrong, I will tell you this
I am only a woman in love
memorize the shape of my fist
You can send me straight to hell and pave my way in stones
you had already used on all of my windows
I don't care who you think I am supposed to be
I am just a woman no matter what you name me

And I will stand here with my banner of love
I will be waving my banner of peace above
Go ahead and scream at me to turn from my wicked ways
for loving who you think I shouldn't in your set in ways
But damned if I do, damned if I don't
I am professing what you won't
Love is the meaning, the answer and the truth
and I don't need your accusations as proof

I might be a martyr or maybe I am
a demon in disguise
I might be an angel or hell, I never said otherwise
but if you think that I am wrong, I will tell you this
I am only a woman in love
memorize the shape of my fist
You can send me straight to hell and pave my way in stones
you had already used on all of my windows
I don't care who you think I am supposed to be
I am just a woman no matter what you name me

by Elizabeth Azpurua

Poetry

Maybe for some words just aren't enough
unless they spill from pretty lips
into sound
Maybe for some words just aren't enough
when evidently it's all in pictures that
proves profound
Maybe for some poetry is meaningless
rhyming words on paper no one
wants wasted
Maybe for some poetry is meaningless
emotions bounding across paper in
ink saturated

But there are they who feel the words
cling to their souls like breaking fingers
cling to ledges
There are they who want to sink the
outline of the letters into their skin
in bloody edges
There are they who feel the depth of loss
and love, and light and freedom
sprawling outward
in words and rhymes and lines and letters
proclaiming with open abandon
in written word

It's keener edged than sword and steel
and more forceful to make you feel
and yet is overlooked and passed on by
for a pretty face and a wanton eye
in lighted images we all take in
the exoneration of sin
is better yet by far to most who see
than reading words of poetry

9/16/12

by: Elizabeth Azpurua

Hear Me

Heaven, why do you elude me?
Why do you forget me?
Where is my solace tonight?
I need the Master to calm me
I feel myself falling
I don't feel life's alright

There's too much talking
and too much deceit
and somebody's calling
for my defeat
but I am still standing
not on my knees
for the ground is cold
and you don't....hear me

Heaven, why won't you rescue me?
I am forgetful but I'm waiting
There's just so much sorrow here
Heaven, I feel like I'm fading
Why won't you save me
while I'm so full of fear?

There's too much talking
and too much deceit
and somebody's calling
for my defeat
but I am still standing
not on my knees
for the ground is cold
and you don't....hear me

I could try to shout to the sky
I could spend my tongue asking why
but way down here it's so cold
and the sorrow is mounting high
I could whisper and it sound so loud
I can cry and never be found
but all around me is terribly cold
and I still won't kneel on the ground

There's too much talking
and too much deceit
and somebody's calling
for my defeat
but I am still standing
not on my knees
for the ground is cold
and you don't....hear me
no, no, no...you don't hear me
oh, no
When everyone is talking
with tongues of deceit
and someone's still calling
for my defeat
I am still standing
and not on my knees
for the ground is cold
but I want to know.... you hear me

by Elizabeth Azpurua

Pale Wolf

"Wolf looks like a Sheep"

You might look like a sheep
but inside is something
of a predatory sort
A wolf, to ravish me
all done in sport
and while I'm asleep
you will stroke my hair,
and wait for my waking
You, wolf, take care
in primal undertaking
My body is not your game
but your reward

9/13/12

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Pale"

I often dream of pale hands
and dark masks
while wrestling my sheets
for they seem to pin me to
my bed
Like a spider's web I am
trapped
forever bound in this reality
and unable to awake in
the realm of dreams
where pale hands
undo me

9/12/12

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Weeds Grow Underfoot

"Grow"

have I fallen down?
and drug beneath the earth, my soul is crawling
crawling towards you
and the rubble settles
and on me, thick, layered dust; I'm doomed
but still, I crawl towards you
and I dig my way out, and up and out
and greeting me
is sun
and the light is all and all I know is
you're the one
I'd fallen down
and learned beneath the earth, my soul is yearning
yearning only for you
and when this settles
the dust on me, thick, and heavy; I was doomed
until I learned to crawl to you
and I dug my way out, and up and out
and greeting me
is sun
and the light is all and all I know is
you're the one
you're the one
to help me.......grow

9/6/12

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Weeds"

and thou art like a high walled garden
  where inside the weeds have grown
and I am like the bird that visits
  unable to tend, or mend, or sow
and when the rains come I must seek shelter
  and when the snow falls I must be warm
but when your flowers bloom I am here
and when your flowers die I am here
  and what they call weeds, I call home

9/5/12

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Underfoot"

in tiny threads, stories were hidden
and then placed under the bed
in a rug
and those tiny threads lay unbidden
screaming truth for your head
in your dreams
and woven like cathedrals
in the carpet
was the truth you refused to think
and underfoot you left it
and it surfaced in your dreams
in tiny threads, it lay seeking
and under your bed
the truth
and those tiny threads speaking
screaming truth for your head
to prove
and woven like cathedrals
in the carpet
was the reason you won't think
and underfoot you left them
until they battled in your dreams

9/6/12

Under Hazel Water

"Electric Under Skin"

I want your hands on me
like paint on a brush
I want your hands on me
like stars on the velvet sky
I want your hands on me now, tonight
I want your lips on me
like waves on the sea
and finally, finally
make me feel alive, tonight
and when I feel
the electric under skin
I want to feel you settled in
I want your hands on me
like paint on a brush
I want your hands on me
like stars on the velvet sky
I want your hands on me now, tonight
I want your skin on me
like leaves upon a tree
and finally, finally
making me feel alive, tonight
and when I feel
the electric under skin
I want to feel you settled in

9/1/12

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Dirty Water"

dilute me with dirty water
pour it on me and run away all of my colors
and change my name now
and cut my hair off
and clothe me in grey
and steal my voice and my song
and erase all I've done wrong
dilute me with dirty water
and I'm gone
erase me and all my brighter colors
and peel me off myself
and leave me out to disappear
into the brown earth
and steal my voice and my song
and erase all I've done wrong
dilute me with dirty water
and I'm gone
and watch my colors run down the road
in rivulets of what you used to behold
I am melting into the earth
dilute me with dirty water
and I'm gone

8/22/12

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Your Hazel Eyes"

chartreuse
almost, like olive
and moss, and earth
and subtle, yet vivid
like peridot
is it hazel?
I don't know the color
to label
it is too profound
and changes like
fern and leaf
and by and by I see
a color I like most
to describe
because no description ever
shall suffice

9/1/12

all by Elizabeth Azpurua

Artist and Watercolor

"If I were an Artist"

If I were a sculptor I'd carve you in stone
and chisel you out a mouth
and place you in my home
and you'd stare back at me
and you'd smile just for me
and I'd forever be lucky to see
you carved happy
If I were a painter I'd paint you on canvas
and color you like the spring
and place you in my home
where you'd stare back at me
and you'd smile just for me
and I'd forever get to see
a painting of happy
If I were a poet I'd write a poem for you
and tell the world what I love
and place you in me home
and capture in words the feeling of you smiling
and tell them what it means when you smile for me
and I'd capture forever in words that I'm happy
a poem of happy
I'd write just for you
Oh, if I were an artist, I'd be able to keep
forever the memory of you happy with me

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Autumn Watercolor Golds"

At the dawn on the road I await it
the fog to settle and sit
and the autumn rains to come
and wet the leaves like watercolor golds
I await the deepest reds and
I want to number the oranges
and capture in colors
while wearing my coat
the feeling of Autumn and
what I love most
and run, run, run, run, run
in the fog and the autumn rains
and watch the world become
watercolor golds
and when I stop and stare
I want to see standing there
a home waiting to welcome me

Pennies and Moons

Am I the waveless sea?
A starless night, oh yes, that's me
A wounded bird without wings
this has always, always been me

I spent my pennies in a well
and I would count the moons as well
and hope for a blue moon
I'd wish on times and fallen lashes and hope and pray
but faith passes
and I am hopeless

Am I the waveless sea?
A starless night, oh yes, that's me
A wounded bird without wings
this has always been me, always me

I found you wounded and alone
I was alone for a long time, too
but here I'd found you
I hoped for happiness and to find a way and I realized today
my faith passes
and I am hopeless

Am I the waveless sea?
A starless night, oh yes, that's me
A wounded bird without wings
this has always been me
I am wishing on moons
and planting pennies inside water
hoping to grow some hope
but I am hopeless

I am like a waveless sea
A starless night, it's always me
A bird without any wings
Always, always, always me
I have wished upon blue moons
and found, I found you
But pennies will not save me now
I am hopeless

Wrong

I like your opinion when your mouth stays shut
I like your feelings when they're in your own gut
I like your ideas when they don't contradict mine
I like the way you live when it's not out of line
I like to put you in a white square
and tell you how to cut your hair
I like to label you in permanent ink
and make you stutter if you try to think
Here's a spoon and I will feed you what I make
and here's a mask, yes I know the smile is fake
I like your clothing when it looks like the rest
and when you are perfect, that's when I like you best

More Time for Angels to Die on the Horizon

"Do Not Ask an Angel to Die"

you do not ask butterflies to swim
then do not ask that of him
you do not ask polar bears to fly
then do not ever make him cry
you would not expect a moose to sing
then why demand what he can't bring?
if you will not ask a rose to blink
then why tell him what to think?
you do not ask angels to die
so, why do you even try?

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"...more time with you..."

sliding hands upward from the wooden floors
up along skin and upward behind closed doors
knees are bruised upon the hardwood
time is passing of what I would
be doing if I had more time with you
tracing shapes across your stomach slowly
regarding you in front of me like you're holy
knees are bruised upon the hardwood
time is passing of what I would
be doing if I had more time with you
breath, hot, and steamy leaving trails on skin
kisses linger and the scent I am calling a sin
knees are bruised upon the hardwood
but time goes by as it should
while I'm finally doing what I want with you
and my lips are soft all along your leg, along your thigh
and my breath is warm like a whispered kiss ever going high
and my tongue is hot and wet and it warms you to your core
and I bring you in and bring you down while you're wanting more
and I bring you in and bring you down until my knees are sore
and promptly sir, when I am through, yank me off the floor
for time is passing of what I would do
if I had more time with you


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Chase the Horizon"

Call her "Horizon" and chase her daily
try to catch her as she drifts away
For Horizon is ever ready to make you run and runaway
She'll bruise your feet upon the path leading towards her
She'll make you weak without a thought to not pursue her
and if you weep she will not be there to comfort you
She will be ever forward, what else shall you do?
Call her "Horizon" and chase her daily
and when you think you are closer
Horizon will break you barely hanging on and go ever faster
She'll knock you down and tear you apart upon her pathway
She'll break your heart as you keep going day after day
and if you think you finally will catch her you will cry
She's moved farther onward and she's going on by

by Elizabeth Azpurua