Living Mind

"Get Back to Living"

No remedy in sight for this, but broken shambles in my fists
You're insecure and I am afraid
What we have isn't so safe

There's ions of time to spend on this and I am incapable of it
The times I made inside my bed
I unraveled in dread

So take my weary heart and make it beat again
and break open my deep shut eyes
So I will see again
and wither away my walls I built to keep them out
and take me over the edges
and break me out
I am waiting to get back to living
but this trying not to is debilitating

No reason for my battle waged against the world of hope
I was insecure and I was afraid
for where was love ever safe?

There's mountains out of my molehills and I can't cope
What does a girl like me feel
when nothing feels real?

So take my weary heart and make it beat again
and break open my deep shut eyes
So I will see again
and wither away my walls I built to keep them out
and take me over the edges
and break me out
I am waiting to get back to living
but this trying not to is debilitating

I just want to breathe and I want to leave
and I want to scrub off my harder edges
and erase the stains and break off the chains
and tear down these unwelcoming ledges

You're insecure and I'm afraid
What we have isn't so safe
but I want to try to try to live again
because not trying is not working, and
Take my weary heart and make it beat again
and break open my deep shut eyes
So I will see again
and wither away my walls I built to keep them out
and take me over the edges
and break me out
I am waiting to get back to living
but this trying not to is debilitating

by elizabeth azpurua

10/6/12

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"My Mind"

I know my thoughts are not your thoughts
and my mind plays different tunes
My dreams have been unraveling
and I wonder often if yours do
I know my days don't go like yours
and there are ways to make this better
My time is spent differently than you
and I think perhaps if you could ever
see things the way I do
maybe you'd know why I think like I do
I know my memories are not the same as yours
and my mind is a maze of metaphors
My dreams are nightmarish and complex
and I know you don't care what they're for
But if you could live like I live just for a day
You might understand the tune my mind plays
And if you could wake up and in this bed of mine
Perhaps you'd understand the ways of my mind

10/4/12