Must it End?

Are you sincere or insecure?
With all my fear I just can't be sure
I feel the weight of worlds without end
but oh so light this weight of 'friend' - tell me when shall this end?
For all good they say has to end
I wish I was sure and not afraid,
my intentions pure but I seem to fade
...back into this spiralling feeling
I am positive and I am waiting
for it all to end - for all good they say has to end
Tell me friend, must it end?

11/21/13

Elizabeth Azpurua

Wake or Break in Wind

"Break in Wind"

So strange, this time
it's like a shadow fist took out my mind
and I've gone blind
for a time
So wrong, our end
it's like whirlwind took away my only friend
should I bend
or break in wind?
Where do dreamers go to face head on their end?
I can't speak in the cold air
the leaves are falling, trees weeping everywhere
and I should care
but it's unfair how my mind is blank and I can't share
the way I faired
when we had erred
and who was scared
but I?

10/23/13

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Over and Done and Broken"

Bastard, you took me down for what?
I'm tired of sad poetry and giving up
I'm tired of trying when it's never enough
I'm tired when the road is always rough
Where the hell is my ending that is labeled with "happy"?
Where the hell is the top of this blasted hill?
I am over and done and broken and still
I keep attempting to be what they want me to be

Bastard, you broke my heart just because
It hurts like hell, but trust me it always does
I'm tired of aching inside with broken trust
like my soul is escaping, my whole life a bust
and there's no damn happy ending in sight anywhere
Where the hell is the top of this blasted hill?
I'm over and done and broken and still
I keep attemtping to try to love and to care
For what?
I don't know....
....I don't know

11/9/13

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Wake Yourself"

Ever greet the day with strange nostalgia?
Find it hard to wake yourself from reveries
And wishing that you lived in memories?
Triumphant that the day is not longer
Because its hard enough to focus when awake
Wishing for just a moment you could take
A step back in time
11/4/13

Elizabeth Azpurua

Purple Spoon

Collect your feathers and just fly from here
I can't take your songs anymore
I was blinded but now I see clear
I know what you did this for
I won't eat from your purple spoon anymore
Or listen to your silver tongue
I am done
I am done
Collect your letters, do not leave them here
I won't see that mess anymore
I won't worry or be full of fear
I won't settle out this score
I won't eat from your purple spoon anymore
Or listen to your silver tongue
Oh, I am done
Yes, I am done
You're a silver tongued vulture in the night
Tearing my heart out with each new bite
And you feed me off your royal spoon
Beneath a subtle shadowed moon
I will get better, once you're gone from here
I won't be poisoned anymore
I will be able to see things clear
Knowing what I am living for
I won't eat from your purple spoon anymore
Or listen to your silver tongue
I am done
Yes, I am doneI am done

11/1/13
By: Elizabeth Azpurua

Come What May I Said

Deserts are trouble when you crave the sea
and I am trouble if you're craving me
I am spending my pennies on stones I won't keep
to offer as gifts to the ones in the trees
and I say
"Come what may"
and come it will
over and under until
I shall face
a new day
where my life has gone still
reaching the top of my hill

Forests are trouble if you need a stream
and I am trouble if you don't want a dream
I am sewing my seeds for a garden of sheep
to count until I find sleep and relief
and I say
"Come what may"
and come it will
over and under until
I shall face
a new day
where my life has gone still
reaching the top of my hill

By: Elizabeth Azpurua

10/23/13

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"I Said"

I know I said that this would last
that nothing would ever make this pass
but now I see I cannot keep
promises when I am weak
I know I said that this would be real
and never falter from what I feel
but I just learned I cannot keep
a promise when you make me weak
Sorry won't fix it; no bandaid to heal
I said what I said and I thought it was real
but what I said I had said I didn't understand
my promises would not turn out as planned

10/16/13

Autumn Flight

Autumn leaves are falling
in the windy breeze
in spirals they are blowing
a masterpiece in leaves
the colors are russet and gold
brown, yellow and red
striking, beautiful and bold
to land upon your head
to fall upon the ground
and dance across your sight
a soft and quiet sound
is their yearly autumn flight


By Elizabeth Azpurua

Love? Or Just another lonely night?

I bet you've tried a time or two

put yourself out there

let go of being scared

Thought you'd seen the light

found the one you need

now you could succeed

and then it all went wrong

 

I bet you cried a time or two

wishing for the way

that people keep promising

Thought it'd turn out right

that you found what you need

and you wouldn't beg and plead

but, damn it turns out wrong

 

Will it always rain when you're wanting sunshine?

Does it hurt to say you're tired of saying "I'm fine"

Tell me do you know the way to love that feels right

or is it always going to be just another lonely night?

 

I've tried a time or two

and then tried not to care

see how well I've fared?

Thought I'd find the light

and learn what I do need

like I could succeed

when I'm always wrong

 

I have cried a time or two

wishing for the day

tired of promising

that I'll be alright

when all I need

was hope to intercede

but I was so wrong

 

Will it always rain when you're wanting sunshine?

Does it hurt to say you're tired of saying "I'm fine"

Tell me do you know the way to love that feels right

or is it always going to be just another lonely night?

I've learned to love the rain without the sunshine

Learned to perfect the art of saying "I'm fine"

Maybe I'll never learn a love that feels right

Just writing songs on another lonely night

 

Damn it, and tell me why it seems

that all of our dreams

come after sleepless nights

where we don't know?

Damn it, tell me why love seems

to combat all our dreams

unraveling out nights

in all that we don't know?

 

Will it always rain when you need sunshine?

Will it always hurt to tell them you're fine

Is there a way to find love that feels right

or just a way to another lonely night?

Oh, I don't know

I don't know

 

By: Elizabeth Azpurua



It's All About Blue Eyes Here

"Twinkling Blue"

You give that wicked grin
and eyes a twinkling blue
I know you're thinking things
involving me and you
I want to stay and listen
to your laughter here
Capturing your happiness
caught inside your cheer

10/8/13

By: Elizabeth Azpurua



:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Eyes of Blue"

sometimes I reach out to shadows when reaching in dreams
to catch you while lucid; moments unraveling their seams
they're fleeting and dodge me until I awake
to torments of daylight and moments of fake
I just want to see you
and your eyes of blue

9/30/13

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Your Blue Eyes Meet My Brown"

I'm trying to think of a poem
to explain the way sometimes
I feel you're apart of me
but there aren't words fluid enough
to express the notion that
you and I are of the same cloth
your blue eyes meet my brown
the way the mountains reach
up towards the sky
I don't know words poetic enough for this

9/27/13

All By Elizabeth Azpurua

All Your Lies

I know you're hiding things from me,
but see, I know not why
I see a building secret has formed
there behind your eye
Your avoidance tells more than you know
and more than you can tell
Your silent sneaking around lately
does not sit with me so well
I wish I was worth honesty from you
when I've never worn a mask
Yet it seems I'm not worth the effort
or honest answers when I ask
You duck and dodge and hide
loathe to face my seeking eyes
Somehow hoping if you keep it up
I won't uncover all your lies

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Not Alone

We're all backed into corners, clothes caught on nails
in loose floor boards, strength failed, sick with ails
There are shadows beneath us and dark figures ahead
Words spent in music that clatters inside our head
We're trying to find someone whose demons can play
well with our own so we can all come as we may
into the sunlight, full sight, nothing to hide
no need to lock doors, build walls; confide
and tell them the truth, tell them the past, the pain
let their dark moments dance with our own in rain
but we're sitting in corners with our knees in our chests
baring our scars to the room like they are our crests
saying "this is war, whose side are you on?"
telling the shadows like they haven't won
Loads of moments, troubles, high - dirty hair falling out
you scraped the bottom, your faith swallowed in doubt
We're all seeking for someone who has demons like our own
who can pull out the weeds from our gardens overgrown
and tear down our walls and unlock our doors; set free
with full sunlight, truth blaring, a moment we can be
ourselves - free, able to stand and face the day knowing
someone like us is out facing the day, too, showing
we're not alone.

The Autumn Grief is the Swords of Winter

swords of winter come I know
to cut my insides out
your wielding arm should show
me, I am doomed
no doubt;
the ravens cry, the sentinels stand
to testify of this plan
where I shall falter in the broken branches
and find a hollow hand;
breathless, enchanted moments gone
erase the place we laid;
upon an alter I will be done
like I'm a torn out page -
subtle rage
accounted for but not numbered or named;
you listen in but do not speak
watching like a ghost in the corner
but you leave me weak -
you never speak -
shout it out! levy my anger,
sell it to a devil in the dark;
let him eat for all of winter;
he can ignite that spark;
inside I'm waiting to unfurl
but my soul feels hollow;
the whispers of the wind they say
remind me again tomorrow
when the leaves all whirl
in a whirlwind of rage
to mark the moments of
my forgotten age,
and you will stand, tall
and sure and dark
like a stone stacked wall
washed clean and stark;
I will stand below in tangled trees
with cuts on arms and
scraped up knees
clad in leaves;
the air will be cold and smell of doom
like it always has before,
when the swords of winter cut me down
to settle their score;
my soul feels hollow like a worn out tree
in a forest of forgotten things
settled on the fact that I shall be
killed by you mercilessly
oh, the autumn grief;
darkened, doomed, devil's den -
listen, but never speak again;
if words are meant for waking carrion
I shall never wake again

By: Elizabeth Azpurua
9/27/13

Midnight Spider

"Midnight Clarity"

Why does it seem clarity is an after midnight thing
where you're forced to face the fact
the one you want doesn't want you back,
and the one you need you just don't want?
You're dodging bullets like an elephant
and you're feeling pain you let yourself feel
by chasing things that just weren't real.
There are no midnight unicorns,
just wishes dressed as horses wearing horns

9/24/13

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Spider In The Rain"

Why does it seem I'm hateful and I'm wasted on you now?
You say I'm such a wrong one, tell me oh, tell me how
because I see it like this: I been begging on these knees
for some porridge or a pot of money making beans
and I need some institution that can fix my troubled mind
oh, tell me why you think I've been unkind?
Lately, I been scrambling like a spider in the rain
hurrying to save my web and stop all my pain
You think I am hateful and I am the mean one
but you are not offering me anything now, hun
So tell me I am the wrong one when I'm barely here
hanging on by a single thread caught inside of fear
I need a magic bush to grant me daily bread
and a genie bottle love, to save me from my dread
I need an institution to fix my troubled mind
but you are telling me I am never kind
I been down and I been hurt and scared
With my luck, how would you have faired?
I been scrambling like a spider in the rain
tangled, caught, and out of luck; insane

9/25/13

You Can't Have Me Crawling

"Silent Crawling"

I feel like rocks have been tied to my toes
and my shoes are full of lead
and my eyes are full of holes
I feel like I been draggin' myself across the ground
for too long now
and I can't make a sound
Should I be like the rubble left behind?
Should I be like a tree planted firm,
never moving, always stern?
I am sifting my fingers through the dirt
for a rope to pull me out
but no, no, never now
I feel like weights have been tied to my eyes
closing them tight to see
and I am blinded from the light
That might have led me to my tunnel's end
but I have found
I've been draggin' me too long now
Should I be like the towers crashed behind me?
Should I be like the rain falling,
drenching, drowning everything?
I am clenching my fists in dirt unable to find
that rope to pull me out
and save my life
I can't get ahead, and I stay behind, and why?
Because these weights upon me won't let me try
and I have been draggin' myself for far too long
without a rope to help me, I am just not strong
So tell me....should I be like the rubble left behind?
Should I be like a tree planted firm,
never moving, always stern?
Should I be like the towers crashed behind me?
Should I be like the rain falling,
drenching, drowning everything?
But I'm here silent and crawling

9/18/13


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"You Can't Have Me"

you want my body, Sir
and nothing more
you do not want my soul for sure

you want to feel me, Sir
because of my allure
for your lust there is no cure

but you do not want me to speak
don't want my soul, or me to think
you do not want my sharp mind
you only want me for my behind

thank you kindly, Sir
I am worth more
you can keep your pants on for sure

you can't have me, Sir
forget about my allure
I will offer you no cure

I can't be silenced or shut up
don't dare call me Buttercup
or Mami, or Baby, or Woman, or Doll
do not text, email, or call
do not show up at my door
don't dare treat me like a whore
I am worth so much more
you can't have me, Sir

9/12/13

No More Anymore

     my love was - sought for
       like a lover but done for
     I am unwitting and I am sore
but who says, oh who says more?

 should she linger?, no - she shan't now
       does his finger hold the power now?
       did the dam break the new day?
oh, come again, oh come what may

E'r the dawning comes like cold rain
      awash our souls in the bitter pain
  does it hurt now? something says yes
and burns the soul as it aches the chest

           my love was - just a wish
like I spent time awaiting a wish
  to be born from the edge of this
        in an escaping sigh or a kiss

    shall they linger?, no - they should not
let them wander or lost or become forgot
like a day, or dawn, or a ray, or gone -
 said the silence, said the silent dawn
    in a whimper, or a whisper, or a song
    she said come what may, come along
Oh, be still, oh unsure, but tarry on
      and wait for the rain to be gone
      linger just enough 'til the dawn

      my love was - silence now
    to be burnt in my flesh how?
Like a live wire, a lightning bolt of pain
should I let it mark and scar and remain?
     I am unwitting and I am sore
  and I do not want this anymore

           no,
I cannot want it at all  - no, no more
           no, I cannot want it anymore

9/7/13

Armored Butterfly

You stumbled upon me on a leaf
I was alone; you offered relief
I, a strange caterpillar, in a world of green
Amidst all the others who seemed so mean
So we danced among flowers all day
Alive and free, you taught me to play
But it all ended so soon -
When you left, I became a cocoon
And I felt swallowed by darkness
Utterly consumed by that madness
Wondering why you left me to die
Trapped inside hell wondering why
I fought and I fell and I gave in
Deciding that the cocoon would win
When suddenly I felt such a strength
Inside my veins, through all my length
I felt alive and much stronger
I would not be captive any longer
I burst forth with wings of iron and steel
With such power inside that made me heal
Your leaving did not cause me to die
Because I became an armored butterfly

9/9/13

Poem by Elizabeth Azpurua
Inspired by Alex Bach

Can't Fall Anymore

Your lashes hold your eyes of lies
with subtle flickering demise
my soul used to fall for those false little lapses
but I have recovered from my heart's collapses
I am not who I once was before
I am wiser and bolder and more

Your laughter beguiles from you
like it wishes to stick to me like glue
and cover my reason and all of my sense
with promises of a white picket fence
but I can't fall for that anymore
I am not who I once was before

Shut your mouth, Sir, don't speak
you are coming across as weak
my soul used to fall for your stories of life
and your begging me to become your wife
I am wiser and bolder and more
so I won't fall for you like before

Your whispers and your fingertips
Your smiles and lies from your lips
can't cover my reason nor all of my sense
cannot take down my walls or my defense
I am not who I once was before
I can't fall for you anymore

Bold Silent Masks

And in the end twas silence loud
met by masks stark and proud,
awash in red and yet still cold
met this silence loud and bold,
but still what erred but humans weak
who fail to see and fail to speak?
They who wander lost and sick
with nothing on their bones to pick,
their souls too dusty,
minds too faint,
hearts gone rusty,
none a saint;
for they speak not and stand so sure
as if they know that they are pure
but they are silent at the end
when all shall innocence pretend
but what has erred but humans weak
who cannot feel and do not speak...
wearing masks and standing proud
behind a silence bold and loud

8/27/13

Partial Spacial Mountains

sanctimonious and glorious
you paraded us
like we were just
but now I see
in silently reverie
nothing was what I thought that I would see.............
.....I see partial spacial mountains breaking
echoes like my bones are quaking
darling, what is this shaking
in my hands?
ceremonious and ridiculous
you named us
and we were just
nothing to see
I now perceive
nothing was what I thought I did see............
......I see partial spacial mountains breaking
fragments of my bones are aching
darling, what is this shaking
in my hands?
nothing but space quaking, breaking, shaking
darling, i think the universe is aching
realizing we were faking
nothing was what I thought I did see.........
.........tell me why you made us to be
something that was nothing
and nothing now to see?
but partial spacial mountains breaking
echoing, the universe is quaking
darling, you see my shaking
in my hands

8/21/13

Gentle Grace

Your gentle grace
like falling snow
lights your face
for all to show
Upon your brow
and kissed by God
you move me now
and I applaud
Such majesty beneath your feet
Such beauty in your subtle hands
The butterflies cannot compete
Who among us understands?
Your gentle grace
like lace and bows
a feather space
where music flows
Upon your lips
touched by God
in melodic dips
an angel's facade
Such beauty in the way you glow
like fireflies dancing bright
I wish to the world I could show
What a marvelous sight
you are to behold

Purple Painted

she's a silent twister
in a realm of wrongs
she's claiming sister
like we shared our songs
but my mouth can't match her lies
and my tongue can't perform disguise
she's a roller coaster
down a one way track
heavy lidded poster
with a branded back
my hands can't make those costumes
nor find my way out of her lost rooms
purple painted wasted
dip down and let go
purple painted wasted
i am drowning i know
and in the elevated moment
i am bound inside such torment
she's a silent twister
spinning a world of wrongs
she called me sister
like we shared our songs
but my mouth can't match her lies
and my tongue can't perform disguise
she's a roller coaster
with a pinwheel track
a heavy lidded poster
with a branded back
my hands can't make her costumes
nor find my way out of those lost rooms
purple painted wasted
i am drowning i know
purple painted wasted
can i run and let go?
and in the elevated moment
i am bound inside such torment
what for, i wonder
what for, i ask
wasting painting purple
on another mask

Storm Cloud

I’m a storm cloud not a storm drain

Not a drizzle but a heavy rain; you better start seeing things for how they really are

You can talk sharp, hurricane, splinter on the words pouring out in pain

But the lessons really are inside of the insane, like an alabaster mystery without a proper name

They are mask wearing, fast sharing, manipulative snakes, like devils in the desert they are feeding you their taste

In acrid ceremonies living on the inside of your skull, contemplate the betterment and live for something more

She has a forked tongue, single eye, one that wanders, one that lies, listen to the poison dripping from her voice

It’s a velvet kind of sound and leaves you with one choice

Take the heat, take the sand, take what you deserve, you know you can, and says you don’t deserve a forest, just a fake hallucinated oasis

Darling, I’m a storm cloud not a storm drain

I do not drizzle when I rain, and you must be certain I know what they really are

Single serpents in the ground feeding liars until they starve, insane, ponder on the pain

Leave your lessons at the door and make yourself a fake history without a proper name

They are mask wearing, fast sharing, manipulative snakes, like devils in the desert with only one thing to taste

Acrid ceremonies featuring the innocent, contemplate the betterment and hurry shut your door

Foolish one, closed your eyes, seal the whispers of your demise, they will slowly poison and leave you with no choice

In velvet tongues they have one voice

Coated in heat, and in sand, what you deserve you understand, and so you know you deserve a forest but are getting just a fake oasis

I am a storm cloud, not a storm drain; I am nearly like a hurricane

I don’t play around with words and lies

I do not lead you to demise

But they do

 

8/11/13

Vividly

I have been running and fighting the dawn
needing the darkness to help me along
but all this erring and I've done wrong
and the day breaks vividly

I have been hiding and evading the dawn
needing the moonlight to shine on strong
but all my erring knowing I'm wrong
the day still breaks vividly

I have been seeking and searching on
fleeing the dawn with its sunny song
but all my erring and all of my wrong
wilts in the day breaking vividly

Sunlight is shedding the light on the lawn
I laying out in the grass, see the wrong
like a macabre sinister whispered song
while the day breaks vividly

There is the truth, I lost to the dawn
caught in the sunlight glaringly strong
while all are knowing that I was wrong
for you in the day breaking vividly

You slayed me there, death going on
remnants of nothing to utter a song
just the reminder the night was wrong
I was wrong, aching vividly

I have been running and fighting the dawn
needing the darkness to help me along
but all this erring and I still did wrong
caught dying as the day breaks vividly

The Bottom

scrape the bottom
for a crumb
to symbolize some forgotten luck
find nothing but your nails
you scraped trying not to give up
you had reached the end of your rope and tied a knot
and found your arms were stronger than you thought
but at the bottom you slowly let go
and searched about for something to show
....you why

kick the dust
in your defeat
like the bottom is a place of no relief
your nails are bleeding from scrambling
trying to find some type of peace
you had reached the end of your rope and tied a knot
and found your arms were stronger than you thought
but at the bottom you slowly let go
and searched the ground for something that could show
a reason why
you let go

nothing is left you feel
and nothing feels quite real
the rope is a sad reminder you let go
and the bottom won't let you heal
there's not a crumb nor a scrap of hope
and you're convinced somehow you've broke
but soon you realize and see
the bottom shall set you free

feel the bottom
you're not numb
nor have you run out of luck
look above you; look below
there's no way down, just go back up
at the end of your rope there's a knot
that proved to you strength you'd forgot
now you climb back up, there's nothing else to do
but to keep on going with one thing left to prove
you go on
you are strong
you are able to climb with stronger arms this time
you go on
you are strong
and when you reach the top you'll find
that sometimes our greatest lessons are learned
only after we feel like we are done
'cause when there's nothing left and we face the end
we realize that's where we begin

by Elizabeth Azpurua

7/20/13