The Autumn Grief is the Swords of Winter

swords of winter come I know
to cut my insides out
your wielding arm should show
me, I am doomed
no doubt;
the ravens cry, the sentinels stand
to testify of this plan
where I shall falter in the broken branches
and find a hollow hand;
breathless, enchanted moments gone
erase the place we laid;
upon an alter I will be done
like I'm a torn out page -
subtle rage
accounted for but not numbered or named;
you listen in but do not speak
watching like a ghost in the corner
but you leave me weak -
you never speak -
shout it out! levy my anger,
sell it to a devil in the dark;
let him eat for all of winter;
he can ignite that spark;
inside I'm waiting to unfurl
but my soul feels hollow;
the whispers of the wind they say
remind me again tomorrow
when the leaves all whirl
in a whirlwind of rage
to mark the moments of
my forgotten age,
and you will stand, tall
and sure and dark
like a stone stacked wall
washed clean and stark;
I will stand below in tangled trees
with cuts on arms and
scraped up knees
clad in leaves;
the air will be cold and smell of doom
like it always has before,
when the swords of winter cut me down
to settle their score;
my soul feels hollow like a worn out tree
in a forest of forgotten things
settled on the fact that I shall be
killed by you mercilessly
oh, the autumn grief;
darkened, doomed, devil's den -
listen, but never speak again;
if words are meant for waking carrion
I shall never wake again

By: Elizabeth Azpurua
9/27/13

Midnight Spider

"Midnight Clarity"

Why does it seem clarity is an after midnight thing
where you're forced to face the fact
the one you want doesn't want you back,
and the one you need you just don't want?
You're dodging bullets like an elephant
and you're feeling pain you let yourself feel
by chasing things that just weren't real.
There are no midnight unicorns,
just wishes dressed as horses wearing horns

9/24/13

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"Spider In The Rain"

Why does it seem I'm hateful and I'm wasted on you now?
You say I'm such a wrong one, tell me oh, tell me how
because I see it like this: I been begging on these knees
for some porridge or a pot of money making beans
and I need some institution that can fix my troubled mind
oh, tell me why you think I've been unkind?
Lately, I been scrambling like a spider in the rain
hurrying to save my web and stop all my pain
You think I am hateful and I am the mean one
but you are not offering me anything now, hun
So tell me I am the wrong one when I'm barely here
hanging on by a single thread caught inside of fear
I need a magic bush to grant me daily bread
and a genie bottle love, to save me from my dread
I need an institution to fix my troubled mind
but you are telling me I am never kind
I been down and I been hurt and scared
With my luck, how would you have faired?
I been scrambling like a spider in the rain
tangled, caught, and out of luck; insane

9/25/13

You Can't Have Me Crawling

"Silent Crawling"

I feel like rocks have been tied to my toes
and my shoes are full of lead
and my eyes are full of holes
I feel like I been draggin' myself across the ground
for too long now
and I can't make a sound
Should I be like the rubble left behind?
Should I be like a tree planted firm,
never moving, always stern?
I am sifting my fingers through the dirt
for a rope to pull me out
but no, no, never now
I feel like weights have been tied to my eyes
closing them tight to see
and I am blinded from the light
That might have led me to my tunnel's end
but I have found
I've been draggin' me too long now
Should I be like the towers crashed behind me?
Should I be like the rain falling,
drenching, drowning everything?
I am clenching my fists in dirt unable to find
that rope to pull me out
and save my life
I can't get ahead, and I stay behind, and why?
Because these weights upon me won't let me try
and I have been draggin' myself for far too long
without a rope to help me, I am just not strong
So tell me....should I be like the rubble left behind?
Should I be like a tree planted firm,
never moving, always stern?
Should I be like the towers crashed behind me?
Should I be like the rain falling,
drenching, drowning everything?
But I'm here silent and crawling

9/18/13


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"You Can't Have Me"

you want my body, Sir
and nothing more
you do not want my soul for sure

you want to feel me, Sir
because of my allure
for your lust there is no cure

but you do not want me to speak
don't want my soul, or me to think
you do not want my sharp mind
you only want me for my behind

thank you kindly, Sir
I am worth more
you can keep your pants on for sure

you can't have me, Sir
forget about my allure
I will offer you no cure

I can't be silenced or shut up
don't dare call me Buttercup
or Mami, or Baby, or Woman, or Doll
do not text, email, or call
do not show up at my door
don't dare treat me like a whore
I am worth so much more
you can't have me, Sir

9/12/13

No More Anymore

     my love was - sought for
       like a lover but done for
     I am unwitting and I am sore
but who says, oh who says more?

 should she linger?, no - she shan't now
       does his finger hold the power now?
       did the dam break the new day?
oh, come again, oh come what may

E'r the dawning comes like cold rain
      awash our souls in the bitter pain
  does it hurt now? something says yes
and burns the soul as it aches the chest

           my love was - just a wish
like I spent time awaiting a wish
  to be born from the edge of this
        in an escaping sigh or a kiss

    shall they linger?, no - they should not
let them wander or lost or become forgot
like a day, or dawn, or a ray, or gone -
 said the silence, said the silent dawn
    in a whimper, or a whisper, or a song
    she said come what may, come along
Oh, be still, oh unsure, but tarry on
      and wait for the rain to be gone
      linger just enough 'til the dawn

      my love was - silence now
    to be burnt in my flesh how?
Like a live wire, a lightning bolt of pain
should I let it mark and scar and remain?
     I am unwitting and I am sore
  and I do not want this anymore

           no,
I cannot want it at all  - no, no more
           no, I cannot want it anymore

9/7/13

Armored Butterfly

You stumbled upon me on a leaf
I was alone; you offered relief
I, a strange caterpillar, in a world of green
Amidst all the others who seemed so mean
So we danced among flowers all day
Alive and free, you taught me to play
But it all ended so soon -
When you left, I became a cocoon
And I felt swallowed by darkness
Utterly consumed by that madness
Wondering why you left me to die
Trapped inside hell wondering why
I fought and I fell and I gave in
Deciding that the cocoon would win
When suddenly I felt such a strength
Inside my veins, through all my length
I felt alive and much stronger
I would not be captive any longer
I burst forth with wings of iron and steel
With such power inside that made me heal
Your leaving did not cause me to die
Because I became an armored butterfly

9/9/13

Poem by Elizabeth Azpurua
Inspired by Alex Bach

Can't Fall Anymore

Your lashes hold your eyes of lies
with subtle flickering demise
my soul used to fall for those false little lapses
but I have recovered from my heart's collapses
I am not who I once was before
I am wiser and bolder and more

Your laughter beguiles from you
like it wishes to stick to me like glue
and cover my reason and all of my sense
with promises of a white picket fence
but I can't fall for that anymore
I am not who I once was before

Shut your mouth, Sir, don't speak
you are coming across as weak
my soul used to fall for your stories of life
and your begging me to become your wife
I am wiser and bolder and more
so I won't fall for you like before

Your whispers and your fingertips
Your smiles and lies from your lips
can't cover my reason nor all of my sense
cannot take down my walls or my defense
I am not who I once was before
I can't fall for you anymore

Bold Silent Masks

And in the end twas silence loud
met by masks stark and proud,
awash in red and yet still cold
met this silence loud and bold,
but still what erred but humans weak
who fail to see and fail to speak?
They who wander lost and sick
with nothing on their bones to pick,
their souls too dusty,
minds too faint,
hearts gone rusty,
none a saint;
for they speak not and stand so sure
as if they know that they are pure
but they are silent at the end
when all shall innocence pretend
but what has erred but humans weak
who cannot feel and do not speak...
wearing masks and standing proud
behind a silence bold and loud

8/27/13

Partial Spacial Mountains

sanctimonious and glorious
you paraded us
like we were just
but now I see
in silently reverie
nothing was what I thought that I would see.............
.....I see partial spacial mountains breaking
echoes like my bones are quaking
darling, what is this shaking
in my hands?
ceremonious and ridiculous
you named us
and we were just
nothing to see
I now perceive
nothing was what I thought I did see............
......I see partial spacial mountains breaking
fragments of my bones are aching
darling, what is this shaking
in my hands?
nothing but space quaking, breaking, shaking
darling, i think the universe is aching
realizing we were faking
nothing was what I thought I did see.........
.........tell me why you made us to be
something that was nothing
and nothing now to see?
but partial spacial mountains breaking
echoing, the universe is quaking
darling, you see my shaking
in my hands

8/21/13

Gentle Grace

Your gentle grace
like falling snow
lights your face
for all to show
Upon your brow
and kissed by God
you move me now
and I applaud
Such majesty beneath your feet
Such beauty in your subtle hands
The butterflies cannot compete
Who among us understands?
Your gentle grace
like lace and bows
a feather space
where music flows
Upon your lips
touched by God
in melodic dips
an angel's facade
Such beauty in the way you glow
like fireflies dancing bright
I wish to the world I could show
What a marvelous sight
you are to behold

Purple Painted

she's a silent twister
in a realm of wrongs
she's claiming sister
like we shared our songs
but my mouth can't match her lies
and my tongue can't perform disguise
she's a roller coaster
down a one way track
heavy lidded poster
with a branded back
my hands can't make those costumes
nor find my way out of her lost rooms
purple painted wasted
dip down and let go
purple painted wasted
i am drowning i know
and in the elevated moment
i am bound inside such torment
she's a silent twister
spinning a world of wrongs
she called me sister
like we shared our songs
but my mouth can't match her lies
and my tongue can't perform disguise
she's a roller coaster
with a pinwheel track
a heavy lidded poster
with a branded back
my hands can't make her costumes
nor find my way out of those lost rooms
purple painted wasted
i am drowning i know
purple painted wasted
can i run and let go?
and in the elevated moment
i am bound inside such torment
what for, i wonder
what for, i ask
wasting painting purple
on another mask

Storm Cloud

I’m a storm cloud not a storm drain

Not a drizzle but a heavy rain; you better start seeing things for how they really are

You can talk sharp, hurricane, splinter on the words pouring out in pain

But the lessons really are inside of the insane, like an alabaster mystery without a proper name

They are mask wearing, fast sharing, manipulative snakes, like devils in the desert they are feeding you their taste

In acrid ceremonies living on the inside of your skull, contemplate the betterment and live for something more

She has a forked tongue, single eye, one that wanders, one that lies, listen to the poison dripping from her voice

It’s a velvet kind of sound and leaves you with one choice

Take the heat, take the sand, take what you deserve, you know you can, and says you don’t deserve a forest, just a fake hallucinated oasis

Darling, I’m a storm cloud not a storm drain

I do not drizzle when I rain, and you must be certain I know what they really are

Single serpents in the ground feeding liars until they starve, insane, ponder on the pain

Leave your lessons at the door and make yourself a fake history without a proper name

They are mask wearing, fast sharing, manipulative snakes, like devils in the desert with only one thing to taste

Acrid ceremonies featuring the innocent, contemplate the betterment and hurry shut your door

Foolish one, closed your eyes, seal the whispers of your demise, they will slowly poison and leave you with no choice

In velvet tongues they have one voice

Coated in heat, and in sand, what you deserve you understand, and so you know you deserve a forest but are getting just a fake oasis

I am a storm cloud, not a storm drain; I am nearly like a hurricane

I don’t play around with words and lies

I do not lead you to demise

But they do

 

8/11/13

Vividly

I have been running and fighting the dawn
needing the darkness to help me along
but all this erring and I've done wrong
and the day breaks vividly

I have been hiding and evading the dawn
needing the moonlight to shine on strong
but all my erring knowing I'm wrong
the day still breaks vividly

I have been seeking and searching on
fleeing the dawn with its sunny song
but all my erring and all of my wrong
wilts in the day breaking vividly

Sunlight is shedding the light on the lawn
I laying out in the grass, see the wrong
like a macabre sinister whispered song
while the day breaks vividly

There is the truth, I lost to the dawn
caught in the sunlight glaringly strong
while all are knowing that I was wrong
for you in the day breaking vividly

You slayed me there, death going on
remnants of nothing to utter a song
just the reminder the night was wrong
I was wrong, aching vividly

I have been running and fighting the dawn
needing the darkness to help me along
but all this erring and I still did wrong
caught dying as the day breaks vividly

The Bottom

scrape the bottom
for a crumb
to symbolize some forgotten luck
find nothing but your nails
you scraped trying not to give up
you had reached the end of your rope and tied a knot
and found your arms were stronger than you thought
but at the bottom you slowly let go
and searched about for something to show
....you why

kick the dust
in your defeat
like the bottom is a place of no relief
your nails are bleeding from scrambling
trying to find some type of peace
you had reached the end of your rope and tied a knot
and found your arms were stronger than you thought
but at the bottom you slowly let go
and searched the ground for something that could show
a reason why
you let go

nothing is left you feel
and nothing feels quite real
the rope is a sad reminder you let go
and the bottom won't let you heal
there's not a crumb nor a scrap of hope
and you're convinced somehow you've broke
but soon you realize and see
the bottom shall set you free

feel the bottom
you're not numb
nor have you run out of luck
look above you; look below
there's no way down, just go back up
at the end of your rope there's a knot
that proved to you strength you'd forgot
now you climb back up, there's nothing else to do
but to keep on going with one thing left to prove
you go on
you are strong
you are able to climb with stronger arms this time
you go on
you are strong
and when you reach the top you'll find
that sometimes our greatest lessons are learned
only after we feel like we are done
'cause when there's nothing left and we face the end
we realize that's where we begin

by Elizabeth Azpurua

7/20/13

Sleeping Thoughts of Babylon

"Road to Babylon"

 

I sing the wayward song of a temptress done wrong

My movements beguile and bewilder

As I walked the road to Babylon

I found those who did surrender

They sang of long sultry nights of wrong

With bodies they don’t remember 

So I sang to them of Maryanne

I said she sounds like her tongue would taste like Lucifer’s

With sunset hair and vixen ways to cast her curse

And I was smitten by that vixen on a cloudy day of summertime sin 

I sang my telltale signs of wicked wrong

With my body moving as I did deliver

A song to fill the air headed to Babylon

I tell them of how in lust I did surrender

With the words of my ever sinful song

I became Babylon’s number one contender 

I sang to them of Maryanne

With lips and a tongue tasting just like Lucifer’s

Sunset hair, this vixen cast her curse

And I was utterly doomed and smitten on a cloudy day of summertime sin 

I tasted rain, she tasted pain

We tumbled in the fields of grain

She marked me thrice while I learned to pay the price

Of letting go with a vixen 

They all did cheer me on as I sang my song

On the way down the road to Babylon 

6/25/13 

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"Sleeping Beast"

 

Inside you lies a sleeping beast awaiting its welcomed release

The flavor like a feline rare inside to come apart to tear

These visions in my eyes do come like rivers about to overrun

Feed it the darkness; feed it with death, with carrion what it likes best

The temperament like a raging storm and it feels so, so warm

Give it a playtime; let it go, ‘til it settles inside to show

You hold the reigns and still the beast, though it pains ‘til its release 

6/6/13

 

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"Words, Thoughts and my Soul"

 

Sometimes there are words which emotions know not

and emotions which know no words

Sometimes my thoughts do not make into words

and my words don't match my thoughts

The truth of my words knows neither my heart nor my head

when my heart won't listen to my thoughts

So my thoughts scatter down and my soul wears a frown

without words to make sense of these things

 

6/28/13

Lucifer's Locket is a Broken Glass Heart

"Clinging Broken Heart"

It's sticking like the glue that won't release
and each place you grasp, you cling
with hands clutched to your chest
held fast
no breath
It's clinging to you like cement inside
weighing you down, can't fight
with feet stuck in an awful rut
stuck deep
no luck
Crawl across the ground to roll and plead
with this clinging sticky thing, just breathe
the weight of the broken heart
holds you
depart
and keep trying

6/18/13

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"Breaking Glass"

she shatters mirrors
why? you ask
for erasing errors
with her silver flask
she screams at shadows
while breaking glass
to fall from windows
waiting to pass
the feelings onto the ground below
she shatters mirrors
she must, her task
to erase her errors
and make her mask
to hide from shadows
and in the glass
she throws from windows
hoping to pass
her feelings through the air to fall below

6/10/13


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"Give Me a Locket"

ardently, foolery
cannot spell jewelry
nor embrace
crest fallen face
wishful I was
in blackened lace
give me a locket
for my sin
inside a pocket
to keep there in
no illusions to hold
but remnants of old
for a love that never
shall be

3/2/13

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"You Look Like Lucifer"

I think this feeling is treason
a love with no reason
Does my heart jest?
Might wings break from my spine
to offer some correction
or heart burst from my breast
to end this ailment
and bring me flight?
Oh, serpentine whisperer
You look like Lucifer
illusions and light for a crest
Catching me dancing
in this love that's entrancing
deliver me from this unrest

2/20/13

Time Burdens

"Burdens"

Your burdens on your back are glue to you
like tar but drenched in a hue
that resembles a berry wine
They weigh you down and hold you back
to convey now what you lack
with the ability to say you're fine
They feel so heavy, feel like stones
sing a song that sounds like moans
with your burdens burying you
They weigh you down to sink you dead
beneath the ground above your head
those burdens know what to do
they weigh on you
they weigh on you
So peel them off and throw them down
and trample them, do not frown
but step away and raise your arms
With lighter thoughts and freedom songs
you'll walk away from all those wrongs
no need to hear their loud alarms
just walk away
just walk away
they weighed on you too long, I'd say
just walk away

6/10/13



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"Take Your Time"

 

Graze my shoulder, trace my spine

Lay your head against mine

Take me slow, take your time

Darling, you’re in your prime

Like a dance, like we dine

Let our movements intertwine

If we rush it would be a crime

So take me slow, take your time

Mold your mouth against mine

I will hold no caution sign

Take me slow, take your time

Play my body until I chime

There will be no final finish line

Until we count to sixty-nine

Oh, take me slow, oh take your time

Do not rush this upward climb

Like a smooth, rich, perfect wine

Savor every moment we combine

 

6/6/13

You're the Wind

Sometimes we reach out not seeking something we can touch
instead we just reach to feel the wind
knowing that the air will caress around our hands
but never stay for us to hold
Sometimes I wish to use my words to tell you just how much
you've taught me of letting go, but then
I remember you'd never fully understand
if I tried to use words so bold
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if ever I could clutch
you right to my breast wrapped in
where you'd hear my beating heart and
long to fit inside my mold
but I remember you're the wind
and one can't hold onto you

5/31/13

Stutter, Sing and Grow

"Singing Night"

but what of angels' wings
and forlorn songs
where whisperings
float through the night
to caress the trees
and open you
to insightful things?
the inspiration I was seeking
came about within my needing
sitting in the woods and dreaming
might the night upon me singing
wake my soul into it's breathing
and carry me back to me?

5/21/13



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"Sputtering and Stuttering"

what a jumbled mess i am
in streams of thoughts
and paper pans
and holding signs that read no words
but gestures of what
cannot be heard
i am stuttering mentally
sputtering internally
on all this mess
these weary days i am unraveling
but who can say what shall come next?
what a jumbled mess i am
in screams of silence
with thrown up hands
and holding signs that stare back in white
with no words of what
shall ever be heard
i am stuttering mentally
sputtering internally
on all this forsaken mess
these lonely days i've been traveling
but who can say where i will end up next?

5/1/13

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"Grow"

Ashen carpet, darkened days
in rivulets left in the haze
those mournful times now let it be
just a portion of this history
for though the signs be startling
and changed upon and beneath
letting it be and letting it go
just wait for life again to grow

5/23/13