Goodbye Wayfarer

"Wayfarer"


Wandering like a wayfarer
I seek you out,
I search about
Whimpering inside of me
asking
Where are you?
Traveling, I'm the wayfarer
I need you now
so I search around
Whispering hopes in me
Liberating
just to find you
I become the wayfarer
Seeking you out
Still looking now
Wishing here inside of me
Coalescing
now with you
now with you
I found you


8/21/10


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"No Goodbye"


Hello, goodbye
nothing inbetween?
Where are the times
and what does this mean?
Why have you gone without
a goodbye?
Why am I left asking empty air why?
Hello, farewell
no more to say
What ever happend to us
and why did it happen this way?
What made you leave giving
no farewell?
Left with this empty air feeling like hell
I ask
hello? goodbye?
no farewells and no hi's
and where have you gone?
Where did we go wrong?
Hello, goodbye
no more to say
Whatever happened to us
and what made it all this way?
What made you leave
giving no farewell?
Come back to me so we can end this right
...in a goodbye


8/21/10

By Elizabeth A

Another Mad Poem

"Madness for the Peacemakers"


pacifist
oh marvelor of infinity
the great madness
of the barrier reef
and solitude on the moon
collector
of the charms we seal our
demise upon
and the silt in the bottom
of the endless pond
we shall drown the broken in
heartbeats
like the echoes in the senseless cave
dwelling of the imovable rage
like the wishers all gave pinecones
for their hearts
and bled out on the steps
of the cathederal walls


8/16/10

Caviar and Winter Palaces

"Caviar and Winter"


you're like breast milk and honey
good for a time
but not enough to sustain
you're like springtime
beautiful, but lacking
the wisdom of age
I guess I'm caviar and winter
sharp, bitter, and strange
exquisite to someone
with impeccable tastes


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"Traversed Palaces"

plucking from the music on my soul
memories
musings
and the tales I've not told
the essence of juniper
and moldings in gold
tile work and frescoes
and walls aged in stone
tissues
bring them and play me my rhymes
ask for the ladies who
danced in those times
and settle for nothing but tapestries
to see
the medieval workmanship of they
who knew how things could be
Amber and scarlet
and brocades in deep folds
and sheerest, of dearest, upon me they hold
the audience magnified by the mirrors in gilt
for I traversed palaces
and forgot all of it



all by me

...ignore the rambling of a breaking heart that doesn't know why it even bothers to break anymore...

I guess it's not a big deal to pull
on my heart strings
leave me kneeling
and walk on by
the nights spent arousing and
dark are nothing
but ways to pass
the time on by
Your promises now are dust in
the silence you've left
where I'm bleeding
and fighting to cry
and the echoes of past times we
talked of the world we
would travel together
have now said goodbye




And suddenly I mean nothing...
..because I asked you for something
that seems really awful of you
...to deliberately ignore me now
how could you?




...I am bothered.

Frustrated.
Questioning and perplexed.
It's fine I guess I was wrong
...I'm good at that.

Angry and Sick the Caster Casts a Net My Way

"Sick Minded"

i am sick with anger
like vomit
like bile
this taste upon my tongue becomes
my poison
i have dealt you pain here
to cease your voice
and while
you shrivel inward; the sight becomes
my absolution

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I get so tired of the lack of care, as if I don't exist, don't matter, I am unimportant, useless, forgotten...
Am I a reason to walk on by?
I'm trying to put lanterns up to light your way and you shred them angry, and raged, and I wonder why, oh why in the world do I put myself through this?
Is it ok to simply walk by me and pretend I am nothing more than the wall of this building? Is it ok to look right through me as if I am a specter, a figment of your imagination, an illusion of someone you don't give a damn about?
Am I really so unimportant?
Is my voice like a nail piercing your ears? Are my hands like knives seeking your skin? Are my eyes like caverns leading you down?
Do you envision me captive inside of my shell or out on the mountains speaking out nonsense? For surely my existence means nothing to you and you'd rather believe no importance.
I cannot stand sitting here knowing that you never cared and that I've been the fool all along.
I cannot sit smiling pretty and pretending I'm happy when I'm angry because I'm not only wrong, but I have been a fool all this time presuming I meant more to you then a speck lost in the carpet of your floor.
I have smiled my last smile for you, laughed my last laugh with you, and given my last damn for you.
When you wonder, if you ever wonder where I'm at, I hope you get lost seeking me out.
I was never good enough for your company.
Nor do I now wish to be.

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"Caster"

Oh, caster cast your last net my way
Reel me in like I am lost at sea
and steal a kiss from my lips
breathe the breath of life in me
Caster in your boat made of hope
carry me through this pain I bear
and rescue me from the troublesome
wrap me in love like a coat I'll wear
Oh, caster cast your last net my way
I might be all you wished to capture
And as the sun sets upon these waves
Steal a kiss from my lips to enrapture
Caster in your boat made of hope
My savior sailing these seas
Give me life back and take me ashore
Answerer of my pleas

All by elizabeth azpurua

I Said Break Another Day

"I Said Break"


it's the time you spend in the shadows
watching shadows
making shadows
it's the light from those windows
broken windows
no more windows
i said break them
and make them
make shadows for company
i said break them
to erase them
bring shadows to comfort me
i said break them
to break them
was to erase parts of me
play with shadows
all my shadows
glass edged shadows
to break in me


8/19/10




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"Another Day"


it's like trying to walk through quicksand
and eating acrid tree roots by the cliff side
like throwing yourself over the edge
or walled away alone, shut off and tied
it's like yanking your hair out
and screaming with no voice
sometimes living life is a nightmare
and you wonder at your choice
it's the swallowing in darkness
your soul frightened with no lights
it's the sweltering feeling of oppression
clutching your chest, your fist clenched tight
so you kick, and you fight, and you falter
and you stand up and turn around and go
and on and on is your process don't pause or
you'll fall down and you'll never know
morning will come when you wake up
God grant you another day
and the nightmares that plagued you seemed endless
but you'll feel alive your first breath once you wake
the world turns once more to bring us out of the night
and into the light
and you'll know then you're fine
we're all going to be fine...
so battle the mountains that rise up in your way
and forget the silence that is cheering you on
you will master the ability to bring out your strength
and once you know that you know you're strong
remember the night does not go on and go on
when you feel you're living a nightmare
there are more doors that you'll open just waiting on you
and no matter the hardships you bear
just know...
you're one more day away
turn the page
God grants you another day
awake


8/19/10 By Elizabeth Azpurua
credit for "the world turns once more to bring us out of the night and into the light" to Drew Bach

Mr. Blue Eyes in Burgundy

erase the static and the sound of my heart
is it love that makes it feel so loud?
erase the pain and the forgetfulness
is it love keeping me bound?
take back the promises I am holding to
is it love keeping me within reach?
pluck out your eyes that have been haunting me
is it love that makes me so weak?
I cannot quit you nor can I erase your voice
cannot outrun you nor make another choice
you are in every fleeting thoughtless dance
I am left here without a chance
to be free
Mr. Blue Eyes in your burgundy
is it love holding you to me?

Pandora's Box is in Your Mouth

"I Lust After Your Mouth"

You're a genius with words I can hardly
begin to fathom
A mastermind at making me gasp
Such purety from your mouth
I'm left wanting and needing and
never wanting you to stop
The ebb and flow, build and descend
and the moment I'm left on the edge
I feel innocent and wanton
Wise and then I play the fool
I'm watching the worlds you create in words
paint pictures over my eyes
And I can only beg you for more when I ask
for you to tell me of the world
I lust after your mouth
and every phrase on the edge of your tongue
the way the images come to life
and in your mastery I learn what I truly need
it's the way life is created in my imagination
and the spaces inbetween
your words

8/15/10

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"Pandora's Box"


Temptation
was what we opened
we thought we knew
how to cope
but we don't
we felt the sickness
spread through us then
and knew we had erred
and knew we can't win
so shut the lid
but the wrong escaped already
and i can't make it better
i will never heal the scars
no, no
so shut the lid and hope to god
we can end the problems caused
but hun you'll never heal the marks
made by them
now when they tell you
just to listen
don't assume you know
you never know

8/14/10

Elizabeth Azpurua

Remember to Live Waiting on a Crown From Your Hands

"Seeing You Makes Me Remember To Live"

Your eyes are the color of the summer sky
painted flowers by
and by
Your eyes are the beauty of the blue sea
waves are rolling
rolling
Your eyes are a marvel made by God's grace
completing your face
your face
Your eyes are the reason I wake each morning
reminding me
of living

8/14/10
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"Without a Crown"

Bought the flowers bought the dress
placed the ringlets in my hair
and I'm waiting on the crown you
had promised would be here
caught the butterflies inside of me
and I'm fighting not to care
you had said you would be waiting
but you're not here
I am holding hopes and dreams for you
wearing a dress of silk for you
and waiting on the promise you had made
I am waiting on your mouth to move
tell me that you wanted to
keep
this
promise
now
bought the flowers and the dress
wearing lapis blue for you like your eyes
I am waiting on the crown from you
you promised would be mine here
with the hope that's fading inside of me
I am trying not to cry
You said you would be ready
but you're not here
I am letting hopes and dreams fall for you
staining in tears this silk dress for you
discarding the promise you had made
I will never see your mouth move
because I know you never wanted to
keep
this
promise
now
I waited until the sun went down
Blurry eyed and without a crown

8/14/10

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"Your Hands Are Waiting"

I fight off demons
fight off doom
and fight off pain
and wait on you
I fight off endings
fight off gloom
and fight the rain
and wait for you
And now I know why I am here
And why you catch me inside fear
I know your hands are waiting strong
Carry me on carry me on
You have a power in your arms
To lift my high and safe from harm
Each time I falter and fall down
You lift me up and kiss my frown
I fight off demons
Fight off doom
I fight off pain
And wait on you
I fight the endings
fight this room
so full of pain
but stand by you
You lift me up and lift me out
and you show me what life's about
You are the happy that brings the light
Always there to help me in this fight
And now I know why I am here
With you the meaning becomes clear

8/14/10

By Elizabeth Azpurua

If Venus Hated the Sun

It's like I'm your satalight and I
rotate around you like I can't be without you now
it's all a blur without you now
I'm collecting thoughts in my pocketbook
saving rocks that were the ones we took
when we played before
you've got me like a fool
trading roses for caricatures
and making murals out of my tears
and painting them in glitter and gold
and it was all sunshine before
but the light is getting old
So I chaffe and I pull
stuck on an axis I can't leave
It's between your gravity and your beauty
and I'm mesmerized to remain
You've got me leading lines into songs for you
and proclaiming the love that is never true
and it's all a blur here in this empty space
I begin to kick and fight at you
make you hurt the way I wanted to
and still the night with your screams
for me to shut up
you're pincushions for me to poke
the needles were the words I spoke
but I don't know what I'd do without you
I'm all around you
I am itching at my bindings and trading insults
and laughing at the way I load these catapolts
just to throw the stones at you
and watch the way my words hurt you
You've got me naming my scars in Greek
and singing the hymns of funeral rights
I am leaving the messes in a collage on the floor
and taking hammers to the tiles
breaking the sight
Until I want to see again your light
It's like I'm your satalight and I
rotate around you like I can't be without you now
and I want away from you now
So I fling the hurt at you
and hope the weight of guilt kills you
and I fight and pull and tug and break and bend
you became pincushions that I always poke
bleeding from the cruelties I spoke
loaded catapolts to tear down your walls
making the insults rip from you pleading calls
and hammer the surface of tile work depicting our life
your roses are dead, dear
and the rocks are in the ground
but I still can't break away
held bound
rotating around you like I cannot
get
away
if venus hated the sun, it would feel this way
Mesmerized by you I have to stay
making murals out of tears in glitters and gold
it's the mockery of a metaphor of your worth

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Loss

We all build paper mansions
We all store our hopes in the seas
We carry our burdens like our new clothes
and we think to ourselves we are free
We are dying for nothing
and living for loss
We are trying for failing
and fall for a cost
We are eating our hands off
and feeding the dust
Who is the mastermind here?
Someone open your eyes and see this clear
Clearly, we are destroying ourselves
We all build up paper lifestyles
Storing dreams below the seas
We hold our burdens above our heads
like a flag to say we're free
We are dying for nothing
and living for loss
We are trying for failing
and fall for the cost
We are tearing our hearts out
and feeding the dust
Who made this our everyday?
Someone better realize there's a better way
why destroy ourselves?
Why do we want to end us?
We die for nothing
and live with the loss

8/8/10

Elizabeth Azpurua

Holding Onto You at the End of the Rope

"End of the Rope"

don't remind me of the sun anymore
nor how it outshines the moon
and never speak to me of trees
hugging them to make the forest
smile at you
do not stand atop your toadstool
and preach to me
while the unicorn steals my home
and don't think I'll be waiting
on the end of the rope
because when the sun came up
my rope broke
don't remind me of the light anymore
or how it makes me a shadow here
and never speak to me of the seas
I'm not standing on the shore
to smile with you
do not stand atop that bloody toadstool
and tell me I am wrong
as my world is crumbling down to me
and I don't think you know the hurt
or the end of the rope
because just now....
it broke

8/6/10

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"Bring You Closer"

Little boat made of paper and pins
sinking
I am trying to reach you
before you melt into the water
I have one fragile string
if I pull too hard will break
and so I sit and pray for a little wave
to bring you closer
Little boat made of paper and dreams
drifting
I am hoping to bring you here
before you sink into the water
With my one fragile string
I hold so gently to you now
God, won't you bring the boat back here?
I need God to bring you closer

8/6/10

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"Holding Onto..."

they took everything
and I'm sitting here
holding onto crumpled newspaper clippings
clutching this soggy mess
sidetracked and weather worn
and faithless in a nutshell
grasping raindrops like they are going to fix me
and end all my stress
but the puddles grow
and I'm weary and cold
and the rivelts of ink wash away from me here
trying to fix what's left
of what I was

By Elizabeth Azpurua on Aug 6, 2010

Hurting the Enemy

"It Hurts..."

It hurts
like a knife through me, not just through my heart
but my core
it sickens me
and I wish to beg to make it stop
and it won't
I'm falling through this, gasping
dying
Like bits of me are slowly being pulled away
and burned
and I can't even speak


8/6/10

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"Enemy"

I'd like to nail you to a tree
I'd like to drown you in the sea
The enemy is you, is me
the enemy of you is me
I'd like to sit and watch you bleed
I'd like you to beg, to plead
The enemy is you, is me
the enemy of you is me
I'd like to end you in all things
I'd like to forget the pain it brings
The enemy of you is me
You made me your enemy

By elizabeth azpurua

Know The Rain

"Rain"


let it rain
on you
let your soul be washed in silence
fill the void between your ribs
take the healing of the stormclouds
and break away from all of this
take the measure of your worth
and know it's more than all the world
raise your face skyward and breathe
let it rain
on you
let the mystery of nature ease your mind
fill the aching of the missing meanings
and still the searching you have battled
open your soul to new beginnings
grasp the measure of your worth
and know to me you're worth the world
raise your eyelids to this storm and
feel alive
I hope God will bring the rain, so close your eyes


8/4/10


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"Like to Know"


How high does the wishes pile up
and do they overflow?
Are you getting old?
How long have you waited on a dream
and is it hurting?
Have you screamed?
I bet you screamed
How many months have you counted
years have you lost
how many days have been wasted
and lives have you cost
just to know?
You want to know
How many hours have you pleaded
for God to be straight
and give you the meaning to the
time that you'll wait
just to know?
You'd like to know
wouldn't you?
How high does the longing climb?
and still it starts to grow
You just don't know
How long have you been asking
and waiting for the ruling?
Are you perishing?
I think you're perishing
How many months have you counted
years have you lost
how many days have been wasted
in lives that were cost
just to know?
But you don't know
Count the hours you pleaded
for God to be frank
and give purpose inside you
so you can wait
until you know
You'd love to know
wouldn't you?
So would I
I'd like to number the wishing stars
the pennies spent inside the wells for you
I'd like to count the prayers given
and how I asked what would be true
Count the months down and the years
and number all of the spent tears
Make a list of wasted days
and know I'd never ever change
a thing to know
Just to know
I'd like to know
wouldn't you?
What's the cost of lives while we wait
to find our truth?


8/4/10

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Just Another Happy Poem

"The Dying Role"


Sing me to sleep
Put me to bed
Chase me outside and leave me for dead
Pull out my eyes
and rip out my soul
I need to go under just to feel whole
There's just nothing left
But solitary life
I am ever inside of turmoil and strife
In the depth of his eyes
was captured my soul
I have to be ended so I'll be whole
Bring me the ground
And bury me now
The end is a refuge, silence somehow
As I close my eyes
and release me soul
remind him that dying was my only role


7/26/10

If I Could Only Sing a Gold Wish of Home

"Wish"

i wish i could wrap you around me like a sweater
sit beside you in the rain
lay beside you with no pain
i wish
i wish i could kiss you between your eye brows
walk beside you as i sing
make you feel like a king
i wish
i wish i could make you see how beautiful you are
hide away beneath the trees
kiss in the grass on our knees
i wish
i wish i could make you linger here forever and a day
sleep in cotton with no stress
know that i'll never love you less
i wish
i wish that you could see what this could be somehow
sharing thoughts and emotions together
writing our own version of forever
i wish, i wish, i do

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"Gold"

Red, ribbons, orange and gold
pale, palest pink
safe in the warmth
inside grey and greens abounding grace
and feeding off of nothing
leave this place
waves of wonder bringing salt kissed
stones to my footsteps
follow me and like a flame
i'm leading you
risk it on the concrete
and leave it on the road
bask inside the silence which is gold
ivory and olive and intertwining grace
fiery and seductive and
a story on the way
red, ribbons, orange and fleeting
like running in gold fields again
and sitting lonesome sorry
on a rock i cannot bend
pale, palest pink
and leave the deeper hue beside
and ask the stars to gather
tell the future of the light
darker than the depths of the ocean
and brighter than the sun
further than mountains travel
and wither they go is
undone
flashes of metal and glass
and airborne in the clouds
settle back down
and come around, around
settle back down
whispered sound
through your thoughts like gold

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"Home"

the irony, the epiphany that came
the subtle hushed tones
of a whispering dame
light the cornerstone
and place it where it goes
and build a home
and build a home
the imagery, the symphony of truth
the barest whisperings aloud
and portraying youth
fill the walls all around
and feel the movement sold
and claim this home
and claim this home


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"If I Could Only Sing"

she never had the music quite right
sang off key in words we never knew
and i was singing like a skylark
like i could only sing...
and still the wind took the song from me
poetry, poetry, poetry
and i not a reason why, nor a rhyme
quite right
and so it goes the poems i never knew
are the patterns sewn away just for you
if i could only sing...
without the wind stealing words from me


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"If I Could Only Sing a Gold Wish of Home"

If I could only sing a gold wish of home
I'd sing like the words would never fail
and the voice escaping me would paint the dingiest of grey
in golden warmth to light your way home
If I could ever sing a gold wish of home
I'd sing forever louder than the last song
and the music I would make would light this sorry roof
and the golden beams would guide you back home
I wish I could sing in golden beams of home


All By Elizabeth Azpurua 7/24/10