Monday, July 5, 2010

I Gave it Away, Got Silence and I'm So Wrong and Far Away

i wanted to give it to you once - many a time i would have, but you never came. never took it. never asked. i wanted to see you. to touch you. to ask you how your life has been. you never showed up. so i gave it away.
but then he reduced it to pieces - like a broken window. he shattered it. and then he felt bad, so he swept it into a pile. i almost forgave him. but then he opened the door and the wind came and the pile blew away and all over everything. i would have given it to you. but you never asked. i listened to your voice and saw your smile and tried to get you to see me. you didn't. i called for you - loudly, like i was lost in the forest, but you never heard. or didn't care. or i don't know. i wanted to give it to you once - many a time i would have, but you never came. never took it. never asked. so he ruined it. thanks.


If this silence is a reminder to me, I need not be reminded. If this pressure in my head is the absence of you, I need not be reminded. If the seasons that keep changing without you are a sign, don't wake me up tomorrow and maybe I'll be fine; there's never enough time to recuperate. The fallen house and broken doors, the empty hallways are no more, and if the sun will set upon this littered ground let it rise again somewhere else somehow. If you aren't turning back or coming home, or leaving me all alone, tell me now and I will know. But don't remind me it was so. I just wanted to be yours. And I wanted to recall those times we had so long ago. I wanted to watch the stars and wish on blue moons and count your battle scars. If letting this road be the last time I walk again is my folly, let me ere in my own way; it's my road, anyway. If by leaving behind this broken house with the doors that no longer open or close is my foolish choice in life, let me make it in the way I like. The sun is setting here. I am leaving out from here, and maybe God will let the sun rise somewhere else somehow. If you aren't coming home and holding me then leave me alone and I will be on my own. But don't you dare remind me that it's so. This silence is a pity, now I swear. I think that's something that you know, but I'm not so sure you care.


i was far too young and you were far too far away and we were all far along our way to see so far ahead we'd say that this is all the worst of ways to lead our lives in the worse ways to see the life we could have saved if lives we were able to save and maybe i will save the lives if i weren't too far away so far away to see ahead along this way i'm on that seems so wrong in this life i live.

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