Remind Yourself What's Important

“Miracle Kisses”

She goes on every day like a champion

Ever brave, ever strong, his companion

She’s a wreck inside though every time the door closes

Will he walk back through again?

Just a kiss that signals goodbye

Full of love holding every reason why

He’s a hero full of pride and everything this country cherishes

But she’s weak kneed every single night

As she’s praying that he’ll be alright

As a hero in another distant place

She is waiting just to see his face

Every hello kiss is a miracle

And she prays to God that she’ll have more

Every goodbye kiss is an anchor

Weighing on her until he comes back home

This is for every woman holding to faith

That her only love will return home safe

She’s a beacon for everyone who needs to see courage shine

A reality etched in a country’s pride

With a kiss that signals goodbye

Full of love holding every reason why

And every day that passes she is holding hope and she’s divine

But she’s weak kneed every single night

As she’s praying that he’ll be alright

As a hero in another distant place

She is waiting just to see his face

Every hello kiss is a miracle

And she prays to God that she’ll have more

Every goodbye kiss is an anchor

Weighing on her until he comes back home

She’s a warrior in the strength of loss

Her bitter burdens that become her cross

She will bear them just to bring him home

Hold him close once more, not want to let him go

She goes on every day like a champion

Ever brave, ever strong, his companion

She’s a wreck inside though every time the door closes

Will he walk back through again?

So she’s weak kneed every single night

As she’s praying that he’ll be alright

As a hero in another distant place

She is waiting just to see his face

Every hello kiss is a miracle

And she prays to God that she’ll have more

Every goodbye kiss is an anchor

Weighing on her until he comes back home

A kiss to bring him back home

Bring him back home

By Elizabeth Azpurua

1/17/11

Like a Rainbow

Love is like a rainbow
multicolored and hard to reach
it comes and goes and fades away
when you run towards it
Some says it promises gold
but can you get there, I don't know
Prismatic and illusive
ever changing and far away
Love is like a rainbow
follows the storms and the rains
like a sign from God and promise
but only for those who get to see it
Some say on the other side is luck
but will you find it, oh, I don't know
Translucent and uncommon
beautiful and far away

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Nothing Here But Signs

*Just as a note the following poem is meant to be read with conviction, as if this were the last words you would say*



"Nothing Here, Nothing At All"

tumbleweeds and empty war drums
no sound, no waves, no muse
no echoes or forests or mountains
and nothing at all to reuse
there is no magic and music and mayhem
and not a drop in the bucket I hold
there are no storm clouds or rainbows
and nothing at all for me to hold
there isn't greatness, nor marvels, nor epics
nothing to breathe into your lungs for joy
there is not a memory left in the stillness
and not a mural on walls here to enjoy
there are no typhoons, no earthquakes
there is not even a sound of a mouse
there are no lyrics or fairytales here at all
and there is nothing left of a house
tumbleweeds and empty war drums
and a plain full of stillness and dirt
the sky is a distant visitor
and the only thing left is this hurt
I am not standing anymore in this emptiness
I am not standing anymore without you
You take everything that had meaning
and you take everything once held true
So long to the birds, and the bees, and the willows
So long to the oceans, the castles, the crepes
So long to the currents, the blizzards, and billows
and goodbye to any of the once loved landscapes
there is nothing of science, inventions and news
there is nothing of pearls, gems, and beautiful hues
There is dirt and a plain full of empty war drums
no sound, no battle, no victor, no sun
I am not standing anymore in this emptiness
I am not standing anymore without you
I will not claim this stupid dirt as my home
I am not settling for remaining alone

1/9/11

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"Signs"

Why do you need a crop circle or
some sign in the sky
to make you see reason and give
you the message you seek?
There won't be a vision on a side of a wall
or a signal from an angel while you sleep
So get off of your sofa and step outside
and realize what has been
here the whole time
You shouldn't have to have an epiphany
to wake and understand
that the reason for your being,
is being my friend

1/9/11

Mary's Garden Wants Me"

"Wanting Something Other Than Me"

You can stand there on your side
walk beside those dirty windows
I will walk beside my pile of rubble
and watch as the wind blows
They will just wave at you and walk right on by
I would have came and stood by you
and never left your side
But you want something else, I guess
So carry off these emblems
and throw away these signs
Stand by dirty windows
And I'll watch the sun rise
I would have watched it standing by you
but you want someone else, I guess

1/8/11

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"That Garden...You know, Mary's Garden"

Mary, Mary, oh you with that garden
Some say you were contrary, but I must confess
You probably stole all the seeds for a haven
and got but a wiley and overgrown mess
I am able to stand here and reach for the stars
but only when high feeling like I'm on Mars
There were makers of music who would sing me a song
but I envied the rhymning and told them all off
Come hither and thither and come for a time
I'll be back tomorrow when I finish this crime
Mary, Mary, how did your garden grow?
They say with some flowers and maids, but I say
You had them try to find perfection in each row
But you'll never see heaven on earth if you won't pray
I am able to stand here and reach the sky
but only while dreaming can I truly fly
Those makers of music try to sing my their songs
but I hate their melodies and I tell them they're wrong
Come hither and thither and come for a time
I'll be back tomorrow when I finish this crime
Oh, Mary, contrary, your garden is lame
I have a whole box of girlish stupid games
Shall you fancy a party to wear your polka dots?
I'll bring the liquor and lets watch your garden rot
They would bring my songs and I hated them so
I wanted the rhymns like you wanted a garden to grow
Unless we do all the work by ourselves
we will never see heaven but end up in hell
Come hither and thither and come for a time
I'll be back tomorrow when I finish this crime

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Avalanche

If I pull away the outside
and strip it bare
you won't be there
I was too young and so naive
Thought that you'd be
everything I could need
But I was hoping for an avalanche
and all I got was a song
a melody of the forgotten times
its all a broken rhyme
that still sounds wrong
I wanted the downpour of love
To wash over me
To cover me
But I received such an empty verse
Something half hearted, forgotten and worse
it didn't rhyme
If I pull away the walls here
You still won't be here
On the other side
I was so stupid and young
Thought you could be the one
Thought I'd found the one
But I was craving an avalanche
and I got this sad, lonesome song
a melody of all the left behinds
it's all a broken rhyme
that still sounds wrong
I wanted the downpour of love
to wash over me
to cover me, to erase it all
But I can hear that empty verse
Something half hearted, forgotten, and worse
it still won't rhyme
Someone save me and fall on me with love
Someone erase the taint of that horrid song
It's all so wrong
So very wrong
and it won't rhyme


12/9/10

Wooden Toys

It's hard to bear the pain and harder still to let go
It's hard to ride these waves
and hard to watch them go down below
We're the ones left here
along this shoreline
and we wait for them to come back to us
They seem to think these boats are safe
and they think the sea will be gentle now
It's all fools stearing wooden toys
grown ups acting like little boys
and we pay the price
It's hard to ease the pain and harder once you know
They'll end inside these waves
and meet their silence down below
We're the ones left here
along this shoreline
and once they leave we wait in agony alone
They should have known these boats weren't safe
and that the sea would like to blot them out
Silly fools stearing wooden toys
damn you men, acting like boys
We pay the price
everytime we watch you die


12/10/10

Dark Blue Light

"Blue Light Spring"

you were starlight, you were snowflakes
you were blossoms and blue eyes and earthquakes
you were blue lights drowning out the red that took my hope
you were a dancer and a dreamer and a newborn make-believer
and hope born upon the sun bursting into Spring
And every moment after was a magical journey
Dancing through the daylight like a dream
You drowned out almost everything
you were music, you were melodies
you were glitter and sparkles and daydreams
you were blue lights drowning out the red that took my hope
you were a dancer and a dreamer and a newborn make-believer
and somehow through it all you were like Spring


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"It Was Dark"

And it was dark, so very dark
and clouded inside my eyes
There wasn't but a pinprick
and that light was sure to die
I was wrestling in the corners
for forgiveness that ran away
trying to grab a hold of something
so I could remember the way
The way to let go
the way to move on
the way to breathe
But I was faltering...
And it was dark inside the car
and lights were in my eyes
And you let me speak it all out
I had never even tried
I'd been battling the cobwebs
trying to run the other way
But you had me lay it all out
Not knowing what I'd say
And I finally let go
and I moved on
and I could actually breathe
I'm so very grateful
So very thankful
For that gift that you gave me
No matter what may happen
What life may bring
I am lighter and better and happier you see
For it was dark, so very dark
But you helped me come back...
...back to me.


By Elizabeth Azpurua

Doors

Even though it has been years
I was holding open this door
Being that, it has been a decade or more
I'd think you'd be grateful


But somehow I suppose
This is not quite the intention
I would rather that I chose
To close these doors


Darling, if I could have shut you out
And thrown away all the keys
I would be living somewhere else
And not waiting here on my knees
but sweet lullabies are my solace
and these doors stay open here
So when you get tired, come on back home
and I'll be the fool waiting here


Slowly, I realize the problem
While I hold onto these doors
For all this time I held them for you
but one of them snuck through


No, it was not my intention
Nor was it his I suppose
He just walked right through the door
and wasn't the one that I chose


Darling, if I could have shut him out
and thrown away all these keys
I would be living as someone else
and perhaps happy I'd be
but sweet lullabies are my solace
and these doors stay open here
So when you get tired, come on back home
He is standing guard here


No it was not my intention
Nor the plan I had chose
He decided to stand by the door
As my guardian I suppose
Perhaps he wants me to close all these doors
and hand over the keys
So I will not sit waiting for you
wretched upon my knees


Darling, if I could have shut you out
he'd be in here with me
I'd be living with him now
Imagine me now happy
sweet lullabies as my solace
doors locked tight right here
So when we're tired and cozy at home
You can be watching us here
Darling, please know I'd not let you in
if I could just shut you out
It would be him, and only him
And perhaps I'd be happy now

by Elizabeth Azpurua 12/9/10

Stepping Stone

While I'm sifting through the mess and the rubble and the pain
You are out on the ledge playing all those silly games
Count the shots that you've had, line them up, stack them high
I will sort out all my past, present, future hopes and cry
They are snappin' pics, smiling free, stupid fools
I am labeling the endings and signing off for good
Call the idiots and sing them a song or two and say
This is the life that you wanted, you got it all the way

It's a lie I know
It's not all OK
Go ahead and try to pretend it
I am seeing right through this

I am here alone and lost the sunshine while you stole it away
Moved to a new home, better lifestyle, nothing more to say
Hold your loved ones close they seem to mean the world to you
I'm just a stepping stone that helped you get all the way through
Just a moment, just a phase, just someone to pass the time with
But that's OK, you can be another photo in these boxes

While I'm sorting through the years, through the wishes I have had
You are trying to be something that you aren't in a childish fad
Drink your vodka and see those stars, count the lights on the lamposts
I'll burn my dreams down, seal the envelopes and toss away the hopes
They are smiling and they're laughing and drivin' fast
It's all eggshells and lunatics and a broken past
In my rearview, in the mirror, outside of my windows here
But for you it's a haze of smoke and nothing is quite clear

It's all fine I'm sure
Pretend it's all OK
Go ahead and think you did it
I still see right through this

I am here alone and lost the sunshine while you stole it away
Moved to a new home, better lifestyle, nothing more to say
Hold your loved ones close they seem to mean the world to you
I'm just a stepping stone that helped you get all the way through
Just a moment, just a phase, just someone to pass the time with
But that's OK, you can be another photo in these boxes

You'll be a memory, just a thought, just a summer
Just a moment of a time I can remember
I'll be your stepping stone, the girl who helped you get there
And when I see your name and face on google I will not care

I am here alone and I'll make new sunshine for my brighter day
You can stay in your new flat and have a party there faraway
Hold all those people close who seem to mean the world to you
Just remember when they walk away who was the one there for you
Just a moment, just a phase, a stone you used to get ahead
And you'll be a photo in the box I'll store under the bed

By Elizabeth Azpurua

Never Lost

when you're sitting alone
and the world's viewed as cold
and you're holding onto the atmosphere
there were reasons in you
things you had held onto
moments given to you but discarded out of fear
somebody tried to put out your lights
and they took away all your rights
left you holding onto nothing but empty air
then they stole every dream
and broke your self esteem
teaching you that apathy was never fair
and you sit back alone and think
while your at the edge, on the brink
"maybe this world is not the place for me?"
and the windows turn grey
while the words that you'd say
die in your mouth filled with hopes you can't see
when you're sitting alone
and the world's viewed as cold
and you think you have nothing to hold to
just remember each night
a part of you shines so bright
but those dark ones just don't want it to
they would steal all your dreams
and then they would clip your wings
but they cannot turn you off
so if you're alone
and it's all cold
embrace yourself...you're never lost

by Elizabeth Azpurua

Hope For Spring

holdin' on to this
like a dying rose
hope for Spring, blessed Spring
to come
make the world anew
like it's all brand new
and it's alive with life again
but why is it this pattern?
silly cycles that i hate
why must I go through it
like I'm stuck inside a maze?
holdin' on to this
like a dying rose
hope for Spring, blessed Spring
please come
and rain on me with life
and take away the strife
paint my world with alive again


11/28/10

by Elizabeth A.

I Would Have...

i would have chased the shadows away
just to bring you the sun in a box
open the lid and hold it close
and always have a smile inside
i would have made the memories go away
bring you the stars to keep by your bed
wish upon them each night and never
have to go to sleep worrying inside
i would have helped you scale the mountains
helped you sail every sea
i would have carried you over the hard times
and watched you while you dreamed
i would have gone above and beyond
just to see you smile every day
but nothing i say matters at all now
just words of a poem written here

By Elizabeth A.

You Are Anchoring Me

He was a liar and a thief

The substance in the bottom of my grief

The collector of the memories I seek

to put away

and bury now

He was so foolish and so weak

The absence of the innocence I'd keep

The locator of the fears in me

to wall away

for years I was

But you are like an anchor I hold onto

Sometimes I cannot move

Sometimes I see my doom

But then when the stormy seas surround me

You hold me close and safe

I can ride out all the waves

You are anchoring me

For I'm adrift in this sea

He was a giver of promises in bed

A phantom in the shadows in my head

The maker of the futures I could see

Just to bury me

inside this grief

He was a warrior for an unknown risk

Like a collector of every single wish

Just to throw them all away

I was born to say

Just his name

He called me out to sea

I built this boat to be

only his, only his and his alone

But you became the anchor I hold onto

Sometimes I can hardly move

Sometimes I still fear my doom

But when the stormy seas surround me

You keep my close and safe

While I ride out the waves

You are anchoring me

Because I'm still adrift in this sea

Too many reasons for this bitter end

Lies and promises are now forgotten

They spoke in pretty words

Creating for me their worlds

and futures full of hopes to keep

I thought I had it made then

But ended in this ocean

Holding onto a boat of dying dreams

Like I'm floating away in silent screams

until you came...and anchored me

You are the anchor I hold onto

Even in the times I cannot move

Even though I may still fear my doom

When all the stormy seas surround me

I know you will keep me safe

Stay with me as I ride these waves

You are anchoring me

For I'm adrift in this sea

Please....stay with me



By Elizabeth Azpurua

Paper Sailboat Hopes

within the spaces between each heartbeat
the miles stretch ever more
and if I send out smoke signals
nobody will see the trail of hope
so I carry paper sailboats
and a bag of stones
and I send out a message
on the wings of hope
but the seasons just might pass by
and the winds of time may change
but the miles that keep on growing
remind me to stay the same
so I'll hum my little melody
and hold onto paper dreams
toss aside the bitter woes
and finally believe
there is something in this distance
and there are hopes carried far
inside my pocket is a sailboat
fragile just like my heart
but I'm sending out the message
upon the wings of hope
let the winds of time give it speed
to take it forward forever more

Say One Word: Infinite

"Say"

it's hard to convey to you what you mean to me
harder still to find the words for these emotions
if I could tell you what you mean to me
would it change a thing?
would it mean a thing?
perhaps the sky will fall on me if I speak
perhaps the moon will forever hide
perhaps nothing at all will change anything
but I think I might try
to say
all these things I have no words to use
it's hard to tell you how infinite you are to me
harder still to paint for you the future I am holding to
but would you even hear me out and believe me?
can I change anything?
will my words mean a thing?
perhaps the world will lose humanity it I speak
perhaps the sun will forever dim her light
perhaps nothing at all will change anything
but I think I have to try
to say
something
Something profound will never leave my lips
Something brave, and strong, and sure won't ring a sound
It will be quiet, tentative and so full of fear
it's the entirety of the infinite I try to convey
and I know I have no words to use to get my point across
but if I don't
such a loss
I think I have to try
to say
everything
having no words to use


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"One Word"

oh, one word, one word
just one word
so much meaning to one little word
I have one, just one word
to describe you
with one word
only one
just one word
it's only one
if they knew, if they knew
who you are
they would also have one word
just one word
and we'd all describe you
with just one word
if they knew, if they knew, if they knew
I have one
one little wish
That the world will one day see
just what you are and came to be
just one word
that they would need
I have one, one word
just one, one little word
if you knew only one word
you would know
this one word
is
infinite

by Elizabeth Azpurua

We Eat Bitter Things When in Pain

"Toadstool Flame"

acrid, wasted, wanton, lame
toadstool in the bitter flame
took the ashes towards the trees
left them to become the breeze
ancient, wooded, scarce explored
forgotten in the Yuletide lore
ate a potion to kill the pain
and die alone beneath the rain
bitter, vile and horrible to taste
toadstool fed to a fool in haste
burnt inside and all the way through
laying down by that sacred yew
alone, forgotten, pitiful pile of shame
burnt from within by the toadstool flame

Winter's Song is Agony

"Winter Song"
ice cycles are walling up my soul, drenched in poison and coated in wrong
it's the season of longing and season of death
winter was always the deadliest song
and between the decay of forested hopes I lie in the aftermath of wanting
it's the forgotten inside me and desperate call
of my voice crying out now so haunting


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"Living in Agony"
you can take me off this pedestal
throw me to the ground
drown out my sound
you can shoot out my heart
and end all my dreams
and silence my screams
but I'm still living on
you can burn me at the stake
mock me for my belief
leave me needing relief
you can erase my legacy
end all I've made here
watch as I disappear
but I'm still living on
in agony

Where Do You Find Home?

it's in the walls
in the furniture, the corners and the halls
inside the cabinets and boxes cluttered tall
all around us all
it's in the air
in the bedrooms, in the books, by the chair
inside the photo albums and pictures everywhere
every inch to spare
it's in the memories
in the echoes from the past and in the movies
inside captured moments from all the times we did see
all these things
it's in the reasons
each moment counted in the changing of the seasons
I am counting down the memories of why and how and what for
it's in all the ways I am holding onto this
and what I'm holding onto it for
it's in every thing I know
and I don't want to change
and I don't want to walk away
and I don't want to forget this place
why did it come to be this way?
it's in the doorways
in the safety of the cozy place we played
inside the rooms, the halls, the happy places
all these spaces
I'm holding on to it
and I don't want to forget
I'm holding on to this
collections of all I'd miss

by Elizabeth Azpurua

My Weary Heart Battles the Elements Without You

I can climb so high, and get so far
but suddenly the mountain I was scaling falls
caving in, I am falling down, losing it
and you're not around
and it's harder now
I was reaching, reaching, reaching towards the sun
it's been so long
You'd been the moon, the bluest moon of all
but now I'm too old to call you back
Come rain, come snow, come fire, and come the winds
My weary heart is destroyed over and over again
I can climb so high, and get so far
but the mountain no longer remains and I fall
caving in, I am falling down, losing it
and where are you?
Where are you?
I was reaching, reaching, reaching towards a sunny day
it's been so hard on me
You'd been the moon, with the shooting stars
but I'm too old to wish anymore and it's too hard
Come rain, come snow, the fire and the wind comes too
My weary heart battles the elements without you
And no matter the height I reach alone
You are nowhere now; where are you now?
I can climb so high, and get so very far
and always the mountain I scale will fall
Caving in I lose myself, I lose it all
and who will catch me as I fall?
No, not you at all.........
I was reaching, reaching, reaching towards the sun
it's been too long
You'd been the moon, bluest of them all
but now I'm too old to hold you up
Come rain, come snow, come fire and wind too
My weary heart battles the elements without you
And no matter how I fight or the height I gain
You aren't here at all
No one to see me fall
Bitterest truth of all
I was reaching, reaching, reaching towards a sunny day
it's been so hard on me
battling alone this way
I was reaching, reaching, reaching, reaching....
to fall


By Elizabeth Azpurua

Sleeping Beside Doom

He's the piper in the waters
leads you deeper as you go
like a serpent in the silence
you follow him below
and he ends you
drowning
She's the stalker in the forest
hunts you deeper as you go
like a creature in the stillness
you the prey will never know
when she ends you
dying
They're the enemies we hold to
sleep beside each night we need to
and curl around each morning
like fools we hold onto nothing
He's the whispers in the meadow
brushes kisses across your spine
a tempter he will beguile you
and cause you to lose your mind
once he ends you
deceiving
She's the glow behind your smile
makes the music you will dance to
and as you follow her away now
know that she is going to kill you
and once she kills you
bleeding
They're the enemies we hold to
sleep beside each night we need to
and curl around each morning
like fools we hold onto nothing
but doom
we are sleeping beside doom
and when we roll over in the morning
it's the dying...
...slowly one day at a time

by elizabeth azpurua

Razor Blades For Dinner

"What's your poison of choice?
Where's the pleading in your voice?
Said you wanted more, didn't you?"
Why is the mirror mimicking this too?

My lips move in words I hate
Mockery staring back at me
"You said you wanted more, didn't you?"
Go back to waiting here for you

Drinking acid everyday
I made this the bitter way
I end with dinner every night
Taking bites with you

Cooking razor blades for dinner
Hope you brought the wine
Sing me to sleep later
With that haunted lullaby

"What's the liquid in your stillness?
Why so crimson in the dimness?"
Why is the mirror mimicking me?
Must this turn into a mockery?

Drinking acid everyday
I made this the bitter way
I end with dinner every night
Slowed by poison in my mind

Cooking razor blades for dinner
Hope you brought the wine
Sing me to sleep later
That stupid, haunted lullaby

"How do you cut the deepest now?
Swallow everything down"
And I'm pouring acid in the glass
Doing what you asked

Cooking razor blades for dinner
Hope you brought the wine
Tell that person in the mirror
Sing me that haunted lullaby



by Elizabeth Azpurua