Walking Circles

endless is the circle I am walking
tired of repeating all this talking
like I can change how you are

no body knows the pains I'm feeling
tired of pretending I am healing
I don't want to be what you are

I want to be able to walk away from all of this
and stop the walk that makes my fists
reach skyward high
Circles I had been walking became how I exist
to throw up my arms and my fists
shouting skyward high
I hate this

endless was the days I was repeating
tired to the core where hope was fleeting
like I could change the way you were

no body knew the depth of my needing
tired of the ache and the words I was reading
like I could make you forget her

I want to be able to walk away from all of this
and stop the walk that makes my fists
reach skyward high
Circles I had been walking became how I exist
to throw up my arms and my fists
shouting skyward high
I hate this

I forgave you and I still loved you
I wanted only the best for you
but you hate you and you won't love you
and how can I show that to you?

endless is the way that loves is taking
tired in my bones and my soul aching
I cannot change the way I hurt

I want to be able to walk away from all of this
and stop the walk that makes my fists
reach skyward high
Circles I hated walking and how I did exist
throwing up my arms and my fists
shouting skyward high
I hated it
I hate this

by Elizabeth Azpurua

Rock Bottom Dawn and Death Shoulders

"Little Deaths"

I don't know why we struggle as we do with broken hearts
Or why we carry the weight of past pains on our backs
but I know why we leave behind pieces and parts
and why there are deep stains in our tracks
For within each ache and hurt is a death of our soul
and we lose something we never gain back
with each little death there is left a small hole
a memory showing us what we now lack

7/24/12

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"Bony Shoulders"

Her pale skin is not like alabaster, but more like plaster
or sun bleached earth
it seems quite pasty and flaky and speaks of death
Her bony shoulders and frail frame beguile
for she's an evil Dame
Her spirit is not one, but two, and each hold arrows
and each subdue
She walks along and drags a chain
the chain is made of bones unnamed, and from her wrists
she has the lives of many fallen to her lies
but as she goes, her pieces fall
and leave a trail of death
and she alone knows each by name
they no longer have life for breath
Her eyes are cold, her heart is green, her essence only that of mean
and when you see her
look away
for she will come back again for you someday


7/23/12


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"Rock Bottom"


wrap the chain around my ankle
and wrap the rope about my wrist
tape my eyes closed forever
and rip my soul out with your fist
bury me beneath the lost dreams of my illusions
drown me in the broken moments of confusions
and end me and my all
and watch me as I fall
into rock bottom


sew my lips together with twine
and cement my feet to fall into the sea
change my name and what I am
and erase the traces of what was me
bury me beneath the lost dreams of my illusions
drown me in the broken moments of confusions
take me, take it all
and erase me as I fall
back into rock bottom


it's so stark and empty
and full of nothing new
a silence oh, so deadly
without a hopeful view
I will not break free from these chains
nor erase the past of pains
I cannot stand up
if you end me
with rock bottom


6/29/12


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"Blame the Dawn"


I crawled over the ground, glass strewn around
while the sky
was breaking down
there was a sea inside of me
and a pitiful aching
and there was the dawn that came and took the night away
and you sailed away
and left me waiting
as I bled I turned to hating
like the poison ate at me
There was no hope but broken shards
and breaking hearts
and the morning sun
and I hated that my wishing stars had fled and run
You sailed away on a trip towards the distant light
and I alone with bleeding knees
learned my plight
I crawled away that fateful day and learned to hate
and let that part of me go, away the poison ate, and so
I have known something of the loss of hope
My wishing stars are now all gone
I blame the dawn
I blame the dawn




7/23/12

Razor Blades For Dinner

"What's your poison of choice?
Where's the pleading in your voice?
Said you wanted more, didn't you?"
Why is the mirror mimicking this too?

My lips move in words I hate
Mockery staring back at me
"You said you wanted more, didn't you?"
Go back to waiting here for you

Drinking acid everyday
I made this the bitter way
I end with dinner every night
Taking bites with you

Cooking razor blades for dinner
Hope you brought the wine
Sing me to sleep later
With that haunted lullaby

"What's the liquid in your stillness?
Why so crimson in the dimness?"
Why is the mirror mimicking me?
Must this turn into a mockery?

Drinking acid everyday
I made this the bitter way
I end with dinner every night
Slowed by poison in my mind

Cooking razor blades for dinner
Hope you brought the wine
Sing me to sleep later
That stupid, haunted lullaby

"How do you cut the deepest now?
Swallow everything down"
And I'm pouring acid in the glass
Doing what you asked

Cooking razor blades for dinner
Hope you brought the wine
Tell that person in the mirror
Sing me that haunted lullaby



by Elizabeth Azpurua

Is Hate a Color?

hailstorms
they are the wickedness of sorrow
the basic enemy we borrow
to leave shattered panes of glass
stained like the colors we hate
windowpanes
they fear the enemy like an avalanche
and wait for hope like happenstance
their folly in the stains upon their surface
stained with the colors they hate
the kaleidoscope
leaves the cathedral a marvel of glass
the floors covered in memories past
the faulty edges so jagged and used
stained in the colors of hate


By Elizabeth Azpurua 6/7/10