"Not a Robot"
We all grasp for a quality of rightness
A sense of belonging
And importance
Meaning and depth
We seek grace and power
All vying for position at the top
To be honored by our peers
Not me-
I want solitary expounding of thoughts
Crashes of intellect
Imaginative journeys
No sense of belonging
To a form or a product
I am not a robot
9/28/14
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Grey"
I color the world around me in grey
why? because I can I say
I needn't be a sunny shade or such
because I like the grey so much
I like the foggy morning misty days
and like the storm clouds billowing
I like the dingy, darkening haze
and like the wind that's whistling
I am a stormy soul of grey
not a sunny sort of shade
I color all the world around me so
because grey is all that I know
by Elizabeth Azpurua
5/29/14
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Duct Tape"
This world is a troublesome one
Not sure how we got along so far
It wasn't from numbers or wishing on stars
or from fallen eyelashes, I assure you
Must have been blood, sweat and tears
duct tape and glue
A hope, a prayer, and I got by with you
Elizabeth Azpurua
Autumn leaves are falling
in the windy breeze
in spirals they are blowing
a masterpiece in leaves
the colors are russet and gold
brown, yellow and red
striking, beautiful and bold
to land upon your head
to fall upon the ground
and dance across your sight
a soft and quiet sound
is their yearly autumn flight
By Elizabeth Azpurua
swords of winter come I know
to cut my insides out
your wielding arm should show
me, I am doomed
no doubt;
the ravens cry, the sentinels stand
to testify of this plan
where I shall falter in the broken branches
and find a hollow hand;
breathless, enchanted moments gone
erase the place we laid;
upon an alter I will be done
like I'm a torn out page -
subtle rage
accounted for but not numbered or named;
you listen in but do not speak
watching like a ghost in the corner
but you leave me weak -
you never speak -
shout it out! levy my anger,
sell it to a devil in the dark;
let him eat for all of winter;
he can ignite that spark;
inside I'm waiting to unfurl
but my soul feels hollow;
the whispers of the wind they say
remind me again tomorrow
when the leaves all whirl
in a whirlwind of rage
to mark the moments of
my forgotten age,
and you will stand, tall
and sure and dark
like a stone stacked wall
washed clean and stark;
I will stand below in tangled trees
with cuts on arms and
scraped up knees
clad in leaves;
the air will be cold and smell of doom
like it always has before,
when the swords of winter cut me down
to settle their score;
my soul feels hollow like a worn out tree
in a forest of forgotten things
settled on the fact that I shall be
killed by you mercilessly
oh, the autumn grief;
darkened, doomed, devil's den -
listen, but never speak again;
if words are meant for waking carrion
I shall never wake again
By: Elizabeth Azpurua
9/27/13
Sometimes we reach out not seeking something we can touch
instead we just reach to feel the wind
knowing that the air will caress around our hands
but never stay for us to hold
Sometimes I wish to use my words to tell you just how much
you've taught me of letting go, but then
I remember you'd never fully understand
if I tried to use words so bold
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if ever I could clutch
you right to my breast wrapped in
where you'd hear my beating heart and
long to fit inside my mold
but I remember you're the wind
and one can't hold onto you
5/31/13
Hold aloft the candle and just let it flicker out
you're the wind in the willows
and the spreading of my doubt
then you cradle me, tenderly
before you let me fall endlessly
Your whispering words from beguiling lips
weave stories 'round me
of truth that does not exist
Brush my hair away softly
with fingers untrustworthy
The hands inside your pockets hide the sin
of stolen love and innocence
you had always hoped to win
Your eyes are hiding sorcery
Your days are numbered over me
Just lock my doors and shut me out
inside your garden blooming in doubt
I shall sit inside these darkened days
Your woven lies and bag of tricks
discarded with blown out candle wicks
testify to the error of your ways
Silently I'll fall endlessly
from your hands of sorcery
By: Elizabeth Azpurua
Lately I have been unkind and wasted
Wanting what my hands cannot hold to
Your vessel is adrift and I am cloaked here
hiding my face and not turned towards you
The howling winds of southern skies are calling out my name
the whispers in the whimpering lies are taunting in their game
Your vessel is sinking and I am playing chess
with the shells on the shore in a mess
Lately I have lost my mind and waited
For the time when my hopes all came true
Your vessel sinks below the waves before me
and here I am and what else shall I do?
The howling winds of southern skies are singing my shame
they whisper with wicked lies inside their taunting game
I am losing all my ways while wasting my time
with shells on the shore in such a crime
Lately I have been a sorry sight ill fated
Wanting what my hands cannot hold to
Your vessel is gone below the sea waves
while I had stood hiding my face from view
The howling winds of southern skies have given me a name
the whispers in the whimpering lies is that my name is Shame
Your vessel sunk while I made a game with a mess
of shells and called them my pawns like chess
thinking I could somehow love you less
to love you less...........
Lately I have lost my mind and waited
For the time when my hopes all came true
But as the night fell upon me and turned this to darkness
I looked upon the waves, but where were you?
The howling winds of southern skies don't call my name
for they've silenced in their wicked lies, it's all the same
I lost my way and lost my time and lost you, too
while I played a game as fools often do
Thinking all my moments were like a game of chess
just to let you sink to somehow love you less
by Elizabeth Azpurua
"Twelve Stones"
Twelves roses in a vase and they all died and fell in crumpled remains
and upon the road I found twelve stones and gave them names
I filled the empty vase and set it out to remember what life is about
but stones don't smell like roses
Twelve days and I waited in silence once and felt the weight in me
and cried out twelve nights for peace to finally settle inside, please
but the weight of the pain was like stones in my soul and my soul
wasn't meant for stones at all
Twelve months and I knew it was coming to an end and it hurt
when I realized twelve months passed I tossed the stones in dirt
I threw the vase out and let it shatter like my heavy soul for
I don't want stones anymore
12/12/12
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"December"
It's blown in again, this colder wind
that settles in my bones and then
I just need a friend
The snow blows by in a grey sky
and there are times that I cry
for Spring at night
December is closer than November was
Yet December is just full of Santa Claus
and what I want are tulips and daffodils
not winter skies or snow capped hills
It's settled down again, this cold air
and it blows around inside my hair
with a chilly flare
The lights and trees all glow these days
with packages of bows and plays
and Jesus' name being praised
December is closer than November was
But I am already tired of Santa Claus
when what I want are Spring rains and budding trees
not waiting through the Winter wearing fleece
12/12/12
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"World Can't End"
The light in your eyes I cannot see
Nor feel your arms wrapped 'round me
Nor find you wrapped beneath my tree
Nor sleep at night with you by me
For miles apart and days and years
And with the mounting of fears
After having shed many tears
Are all of these alarming fears
That I will not see you again or
Hold you close needing more
Nor see you smiling at my door
While knowing I need you more
Because they say the world will end
Yet I hope that they pretend
It cannot end without you my friend
Please tell me they pretend
I wish your smile I could see
And feel your arms wrapped 'round me
The world can't end until this can be
It cannot end without you with me
12/12/12
Landslides have covered the pavement
and new dawn has dawned with grief
The rains fell and washed all of us away
and where shall come our relief?
Earth shattering shaking around us
and trees have forsaken their roots
The windows have broken on this ground
and left crushed under our boots
The strong winds have torn us asunder
and the damage left in their wake
caused all the children and mothers to grieve
and cry out for heaven's sake
Oh, where do the pieces fit in the puzzle?
Where is the light at the end of the tunnel?
Who is the cause and who is the relief?
and tell me what is the depth of their grief?
The rubble is marked by what used to be
and the signs are all facing down
So grab hold of your loved ones and hold them close
and wave goodbye to your town
Landslides have covered the pavement
and the morning is harsh in the light
The floods have washed everything away
and the wind had ravished all night
Earth shattering shaking and broken
and the branches have made you a map
to lead you on to a long weary road
of which there's no turning back
by: elizabeth a.
"Embrace the Wind"
Under summer heat I want to bathe my feet
in new grass and rocks and tree roots
I want to photograph fairies
and go and visit a new sea
I want to stand tall on rocks
and embrace the wind
I need to feel the wind
I want underneath the summer heat to feel
something relaxed and tranquil
and I wish to follow stars
beneath a different sky
Oh, why, oh, why
tell me, tell me
is it so hard for me to go away from here? you see
I wish so very bad to bathe my soul in glad far from here
inside a greener sphere
I would like to visit the places I've wanted to visit for so very long
but how, oh how, can I make it more than just words in a song?
I don't know how....
but I want it now
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Braille"
I shall pet the elephant and name him Braille
and I shall feed him grapes and summer ale
and when he follows me towards the sea
I should like to think he came along for me
I will watch him as he watches the waves crest
I will tell him the truth about the heart in his chest
and when the sun sets and we must travel home again
I will place him back on the rug in the center of the room
6/17/12
"Held Together by Feathers"
Tease me into warmer waters and guide me to the sea
follow me in paper boats
and bring my home to me
Carried in lights across the sky
and remind me who I am
in feathers and recreations
of a forgotten land
Lead me into the stillness of the woods and hold me there
and play the sound of nature
and tell me that you care
Carried in songs from birds through the trees
remind me of life and love
and everything I need
in the moment you see me help me hold myself together
in memories and moments
and dove feathers
I am yours
I am yours
Take me into warmer nights and dance with me slowly
glide along the starlight
and make wishes with me
Carried in lights across the sky
and remind me who I am
in feathers and recreations
of a forgotten land
Lead me to the meadow by the sea out on the cliff there
and whisper the sound of the wind
and hold the hope in the air
Carried in the sound of the waves below me
remind me of life and love
and everything I need
in the moment you hold me help me put myself back together
in memories and moments
and dove feathers
I am yours
Forever yours
4/26/12
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"I Like it So"
i like your hands
and the way they move
across my body
inside me smooth
i like your hands
and the veins beneath
the way your fingers
sink in me
i like your hands for more than this
but this i want the most
and so it goes
i like it so
i like your eyes
the way they look at me
and stare me down
undoing thoroughly
i like your eyes
the color changes for me
capturing emotions
and the way you're feeling
i like your eyes for more than this
but this i need the most
and so it goes
i like it so
i like your smile
when you light up the room
and it captures me
chases away the gloom
i like your smile
and the way you look so fine
i like your smile
when your smile is mine
i like your smile for more than this
but this i enjoy the most
and so it goes
i like it so
i love your laugh
i love the way my soul sings
i love your laugh
the joy it always brings
i love your laugh for more than this
but love this the most
because it goes
like so......
4/15/12
And winter came with a cold wind
and broke my heart three times again
I am fallen down into this darkened place
oh, how you kill my soul
I feel my hope go away
and gone........
And winter came and brought a song
With falling snow I lose my self
and try so hard to grow from you
You don't want me, what can I do?
Why am I not good enough for you?
And winter came and brought disease
this shadowed thing that follows me
This thing to kill called heartache
a broken heart is my mistake
I shall not feel, oh no, now numb
I shall not recover from what has been done
I know with this changing of seasons to cold
I shall wither and wander with bones of old
And winter came and came so wrong
and with it brought this eery song
And winter came and came it did
and with it came a cold, cold wind
I shall not feel, oh no, now numb
for what may be and what may come
I know with this new dawning day
is colder still and more come this way
Oh, winter came and brought with it
three times broken heart to bits
and broke me down to this darkened place
oh, how, how you kill my soul
I feel my hope is gone away
and gone......
and winter came and brought this song
With falling snow I'll bury myself
and try to break off from you
You don't want me, what else shall I do?
Oh, I am not good enough for you
I shall not feel, oh no, now numb
for my soul, my soul is so very done
And winter came and brought this deathly wind
a broken heart, broken three times again
12/24/11
The winds of change are blowing through and everything is taking on a different hue
What once filled me full of glad is leaving me somewhat sad
The place I set aside for hope is left with a dangling rope
and the eyes I wished to see each day seem farther and farther and farther away
Oh, what will come within this breeze?
A softer, gentler, kind of ease?
Or shall I toil and fight for gain and battle harsh and bitter rain?
I fear my soul is floating on to a fresh and greener lawn
where on that other side I'll see the things that were meant for me
Yet, here is but a dangling rope where once had been a place of hope
Here is sorrow covering glad and smothering me in 'always sad'
I wish to find a happier place
and perhaps a happier face
I hope these winds of change bring peace
Oh, what will come within this breeze?
by: me
"Blown"
Undo me now
I don't know how
you effect me like you do
It's not contained
my voice isn't restrained
take a bow
for what you claimed
I don't call the shots
but you know the spots
to learn
How can you be so wonderful?
I am incapable
of comprehension
My mind is blown
8/19/11
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Setting Fire to Space with Mary Poppins' Help"
power keg, loaded rocket in the back seat
send this ship to the moon
take all the contents of Mary Poppins' bag
and we'll set the moon on fire
loaded gun, and don't you turn away
take this higher than before
Whisper to the wind, 'we will catch you again'
and set the world on fire
I'll claim the seven seas if you stand by me
I'll fly straight into the stars
load the cannon, sir, and blow this place high
I am writing your name in the sky
Let's make it all go up in flames, scorch this place
and set fire to the room
Send me on my way, follow, follow say,
'here we are
this is better than the moon'
Blast away, rocket in the world I say
'take me higher than this place'
and set fire
in space
8/19/11
By Elizabeth A.
i held my tongue for so long
i held back my words for a song
i couldn't speak when you got near
too much overflowing for you to hear
and the wind blew
and then i knew
no matter what may come
no matter the waves i'll fight
i know this ship is mine
i know this ship is mine
i became the one to set sail here
i know this ship is mine
and i won't abandon it in fear
you make me forget my curse
remind me it could always be worse
you keep me focused on myself
and you keep me here in better health
when the wind blows
suddenly troubles go
no matter what can come
no matter what i'll fight
i know this ship is mine
i know this ship is mine
i am the one setting sail here
i know this ship is mine
and no matter what i might fear
i know i will be fine
you teach me to battle the ocean
with you i learned true emotion
i became who i really am
when you told me who i am
i took off the mask for you
you teach me to ride out the waves
and you are my anchor on bad days
i know i am safer by your side
and together it's an easier ride
i got this ship from you
no matter what may come
i know this ship is mine
the one you helped me find
no matter what i fight
i know this ship feels right
i have gone and set sail here
i know this ship is mine
and i'll never abandon in fear
it's gonna be alright
I can climb so high, and get so far
but suddenly the mountain I was scaling falls
caving in, I am falling down, losing it
and you're not around
and it's harder now
I was reaching, reaching, reaching towards the sun
it's been so long
You'd been the moon, the bluest moon of all
but now I'm too old to call you back
Come rain, come snow, come fire, and come the winds
My weary heart is destroyed over and over again
I can climb so high, and get so far
but the mountain no longer remains and I fall
caving in, I am falling down, losing it
and where are you?
Where are you?
I was reaching, reaching, reaching towards a sunny day
it's been so hard on me
You'd been the moon, with the shooting stars
but I'm too old to wish anymore and it's too hard
Come rain, come snow, the fire and the wind comes too
My weary heart battles the elements without you
And no matter the height I reach alone
You are nowhere now; where are you now?
I can climb so high, and get so very far
and always the mountain I scale will fall
Caving in I lose myself, I lose it all
and who will catch me as I fall?
No, not you at all.........
I was reaching, reaching, reaching towards the sun
it's been too long
You'd been the moon, bluest of them all
but now I'm too old to hold you up
Come rain, come snow, come fire and wind too
My weary heart battles the elements without you
And no matter how I fight or the height I gain
You aren't here at all
No one to see me fall
Bitterest truth of all
I was reaching, reaching, reaching towards a sunny day
it's been so hard on me
battling alone this way
I was reaching, reaching, reaching, reaching....
to fall
By Elizabeth Azpurua
like hemlock fronds
like rocks covered in moss
and hills to castles far
like crags, ravines and mountain ranges
and wooded lonely isles
forested worlds of wonder
contained within your eyes
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
spiralling downward
the echoes of whales
the sea, wind in your sails
and the wave tossed world
the ebb and the flow
and tides down below
glittering in sunlight
blue and bold
contained inside your eyes
Both By Elizabeth Azpurua
hush, the scent of jasmine
and the air of summer wind
the balmy nighttime splendor
in the hallow of windows
follow the sky across your soul
open your arms wide here below
and breathe in the magic
and breathe in the magic
hush, the whirl of window fans
and fireflies battling the wind
the static charged summer air
is the constant present friend
follow the clouds across your soul
open your arms wide here below
and breathe in the magic
and breathe in the magic
it's summertime here
soak it in
by Elizabeth Azpurua
"All a Riot Now"
hungover and a mess
and watching dust collect on you
I am feeling like I ran a race
and the marathon ended too soon
who is to say the reasons why?
I have no answers anymore
I have a broken lullaby
I play it over and over for
...it reminds me of then
when life stilled inside the forest
and we played like children there
and the world seemed a cherished place
for we sang without a care
...not anymore, though
it's all a riot now
and the peace I felt is swept by the wind
5/7/10
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"When Summer Comes..."
I'll spill cornstarch on this rodeo
and bathe in the dust of a thousand
sunny days
but spend myself over the edge in
one thousand useless ways
just to cover the summer humidity
in mosquitoes
it's the longing from the tips of my toes
to the edge of my fingertips
and all in between this sundress
it's everything I wanted in the millions
of fireflies flowing like an illusion of
water through the starlit air
I am incapable of leaving this place
where boots and laces fell into dirt
and horses leaped without a care
and summer braids wound in flowers
were the artwork I proclaimed before
it's all toothpaste and sunny smiles
and laughter to the moon
but it's all over so very soon
in the wake of troublesome skies
and lightning shattering dreams
I wanna make peach pie and eat
corn cobs until the salty butter
melts away from my mouth
and I wanna leave June beetles and
butterlfies in the day for the sound of bats
chasing their foes across the air above
this porch full of music and laughter
and ride handcarts down hills
just to lose myself in the breeze
but it's not what it seems
and I'm no child no more to speak
like I've not a care in this summer filled world
Not while I hold the jean jacket close
and shiver in this cool spring air
5/10/10
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"Colors in Love Poems"
burgandy, I sang you a poem, I did
and hurt like hell when the words stuck against my throat
of broken promises and youthful dreams
it's all the lies we tell ourselves to fall asleep
horizon white, I sang a poem of you, I did
and screamed inside when the colors all came back to me
of illusions I made plastic soldiers in my head
all the reasons I erased inside the bed
goldenrod, my feather's white, my eyes so blue
a poem or two I shall sing just for you and hope to God
I'll never choke on the words that leave me now
and I'll trail kisses all across your brows
rainbow, you could never hold all the colors close
nor magnify the bounty in the prose I chose to tell
there is too much pain and too much lies
and the nervousness of silly butterflies
but I sang the poems, I did....for each of them
5/7/10
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;
"Lover's Drown"
I sought you forever by the seas
holding shells inside my hands
to still the water's dance
Fool I thought that I could make them stop
and let me across
and let me across
I walked forver alone by the sea
a shell for you I would give again
to give me one more chance
Fool I thought I could calm the ocean here
to let me across
to let me across
But the sirens all laugh at my pleas
singing songs to stir up the sands
and give me not a chance
Fool I thought that I could make them stop
they laughed at my loss
they laughed at my loss
singing "lovers drown, lovers drown, and they go down"
singing "they all drown, they go down and down and down"
singing "all your hopes are gone and sinking down"
singing "come with us and sleep where lovers drown"
I follow them into the waves where I go down
5/8/10
There's a storm
on the wind
battle shield and sword
with a name
and paint
the
horizon
white
make a marker
at the ending
take away the word
uttered here
on the
edge of my
horizon
broken
storm
and lightning
and caged
in chains to the meaning
of the endings marked
by my mistake
vast and senseless
to be scarred
by the
cruel and
undesirable
echoes
of
thunder
Take my shield
Take the name
Take the hope within the rains
and break
all the windows
shattering
glass
on the
floors
of
life
and spark the clouds
my name in them
and erase the space by the wind
to end a war of stormy skies
paint
the
horizon
white
and colorless this emptiness
between the thunderclaps
for the name
on the tip
of the wind's tongue
is wrong
it caused the storm
again
By Elizabeth Azpurua on 7/15/09
