Greatest Ache

alabaster cities may often gleam
and stars might grant some wishes
but things aren't always as they seem
when seeking gold you might find fishes

sometimes when doors close no others open
and when mirrors shatter you just get cut
be careful what you place your hope in
or else you might be stuck in a rut

but of all the things one learns in life
one is hardest to swallow down
it aches and causes deepest strife
and places on you an eternal frown

it's not a love to make you boast
the greatest ache your heart will feel
is knowing those that you love most
do not in turn love you for real

they seem to you that they love you some
but walk away seeking another place
and when you call they do not come
nor to you show their true face

the greatest ache your heart will feel
is the hardest lesson felt inside
knowing you're not loved by them for real
but have been sadly set aside

Feather Home

I rode the seven horses beneath your raging sea
and named myself an albatross, a sea bird just like thee
I marveled at the waves and how they foam beneath the sky
and learned the whispers of the dolphins as they raced on by
I carried in my feather home the pieces of the way
that I learned to love the light as it broke each day
I traversed the winding roads that led to your cave
and named all my fears I conquered - I was brave
I mastered stealth and improvising as I learned to sing
and unto thee I have the greatest poems to bring
I carried in my feather home the pieces of the way
that I learned to love the light as it broke each day
and along my journey through the dark I have learned
that as long as I carry hope inside it has always burned
I am fragile in my feather home with pieces of the way
I truly love the light when it rises each new day
I will sing the song of the sea bird and watch the cresting waves
I will walk alone the winding road and number all false caves
I will ride seven hundred wild horses just to show
the only thing inside I really ever will know
I am fragile in my feather home with pieces of the way
that I learned to love the light as it broke each new day

by Elizabeth Azpurua

Hurricane and Dirty Sea

he pulled you down
'til you tasted earth
and bitter stones
and tree root frown

and said he
inside of you
is like a hurricane
and the dirty sea

no more shall you
walk in my yard
nor open my doors
for you I never knew

he kicked your chin
and sent you off
some barren road
marked by a sin

and lo, I see
inside of you
is like a hurricane
and the dirty sea

you walk and cry
and sky rains down
and songbirds mourn
as they fly by

the trees all frown
and stars watch you
as you walk from home
on your way to drown

angels take you in
with arms full of love
and their divinest grace
overlooking sin

and they will be
calming inside you
the hurricane
and green tinged sea

and still your storm
and bring you home
and tuck you in
all safe and warm

and then wilt he
kneel by you
no more hurricane
nor a dirty sea

and say to you
in reverence and love
for you his child
invoking all that's true?

will say he
of your humble life
and all your dreams
beside the sea

that you his son
are forgiven now
and loved the more
after what is done?

and lo, I see
inside of you
was a hurricane
and a dirty sea

and on your shoreline
was a sad little boy
and a broken life
and a warning sign

but angels I did call
to bring you home
and heal your heart
and stop your fall

and still your storm
and bring you home
and tuck you in
all safe and warm

Are We Blind Embracing Wind?

"Embrace the Wind"
Under summer heat I want to bathe my feet
in new grass and rocks and tree roots
I want to photograph fairies
and go and visit a new sea
I want to stand tall on rocks
and embrace the wind
I need to feel the wind
I want underneath the summer heat to feel
something relaxed and tranquil
and I wish to follow stars
beneath a different sky
Oh, why, oh, why
tell me, tell me
is it so hard for me to go away from here? you see
I wish so very bad to bathe my soul in glad far from here
inside a greener sphere
I would like to visit the places I've wanted to visit for so very long
but how, oh how, can I make it more than just words in a song?
I don't know how....
but I want it now

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"Braille"

I shall pet the elephant and name him Braille
and I shall feed him grapes and summer ale
and when he follows me towards the sea
I should like to think he came along for me
I will watch him as he watches the waves crest
I will tell him the truth about the heart in his chest
and when the sun sets and we must travel home again
I will place him back on the rug in the center of the room

6/17/12

Hell

I want to choke you
and make you feel the worst
and end you over your photos you claim I kept
Stupid, and foolish, what a selfish person
How do you sleep at night?
How do you sleep at night?
Surely, you stumble inside of your dreams
Surely, karma knows just what you need
So, claim we made it all a hell just for you
and I will pave the way, pave the way back down there for you
I want to choke you
and make you hurt the most
and spill you over the boxes you think I kept
Evil and wicked, and such a devious person
How do you live with yourself?
How do you live with youself?
Do you stutter on your lies from your mouth?
Do you sweat inside your skin to be found out?
So, claim we made it all a hell for you
and I will name the road in your honor straight back home for you

Bruised Wallpaper

"Wallpaper"

I'm not floral nor paper nor glue
I am not plaster
and your feet are not ice
to slide on by
as though I'm nothing more than a wall to you
And yet, yet there you go as if I'm a passing hallway
a walk through
a corridor
and nothing special nor worthwhile
Your feet move so fast in a haste for the next door
and I alone remain standing
like paper clinging

5/20/12

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"Bruised"

Lift you up
and take you slow
like a dancer
I feel your heart
and I do know
inside is cancer
it eats at you
and leaves a bruise
and hurts your soul
but it's OK
on your bad days
I'll make you whole
I will lift you up
and carry you
I will put a smile on
just for you
I will make your day a brighter place
for I know inside it's tough
it eats at you
and left you bruised
and you ache and yearn and cry
but fear not, I'm by your side
No matter who you are
I'll be near and far
and where you are
I will remain
to heal you
and to feel you
and to love you

6/17/12

Emptied

I was young and naive
So pretty and sweet
Like a child you took my hand
Promised things oh so grand
And then you deceived me

I was careful, cautious, pure
I was so unsure
You wrote me love letters like a pro
How was I supposed to know
that you'd deceive me?

I won't miss a love like yours
The kind that never cures
The kind that leaves me emptied
I won't miss those words you said
And all the ways you mislead
Leaving me feeling emptied

I was caught in a daze
never knowing which ways
to go to find out the truth
Where was I to find the proof
that showed you'd deceived me?

Now more careful, cautious, sure
Not captured in your lure
I discarded your poetry as lies
And ignored all your wasted tries
To come back to deceive me

I won't miss a love like yours
The kind that never cures
The kind that leaves me emptied
I won't miss those words you said
And all the ways you mislead
Leaving me feeling emptied

I am so glad I'm done with all that
I won't ever turn and go back
I felt like an empty vessel in your arms
And I don't miss that
No, I don't miss that

I won't miss a love like yours
The kind that never cures
The kind that leaves me emptied
I won't miss those words you said
And all the ways you mislead
Leaving me feeling emptied


By: Elizabeth Azpurua

Orange

across your face,
beneath your chin
and framing that
most wicked grin
and everywhere
it leads from there
oh, how I love so much your hair

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Sets across the mountains here
overlooks the place I played
and all that I hold dear
in the color emblazoned against pink skies
it sets across that roof
and stains inside my eyes
in whispering tendrils a cloud
seems to hush the evening woods
and in silence loud
we greet the night


By Elizabeth Azpurua

Smoke

ash tray of ashes
i guess you smoked
every last ounce of the words you'd spoke
i guess you gave in one last breath
the meaning of loyalties
and trusting 'til death
ash tray of ashes
looks like my soul
every ounce of me in that gaping whole
i will give you one last breath
to say of loyalties
never last 'til death
of trusting
so burn it up in one last plume of smoke
and leave it in one last word you'll choke
i don't care what word it is
it won't be right


5/5/12

More Than a House

Look at you, sad, sad door
Look at you windows holding life no more
Look at you weeds - you think you own here?
Look at you trees, we do not hug you now
Look at these things and what befell it - how?
It was greed, darlings, greed
and we lost the fight

Look at you, sad, sad stairs
Look at you trees, plums and pears
Look at you forgotten flower beds here
Look at you empty walls - alone and cold
Look at your boards, they appear so old
Darlings, we want you, want you
but we lost the fight

So, grow up weeds and take this lawn
Say hello to the birds each dawn
Keep closed your doors and windows, too
and we'll come, and we'll wave at you
So, bear your fruits for us trees
and we'll stop by and see your leaves
Go ahead and let the land be your family
and we'll try not to be so sad for you to see
but we lost the fight
but it's alright
Stand there for all to see....
you're more than a house left abandoned
you're a home that just can't be

By Elizabeth A.

Hope

package it in green
mail it in a box
plaster it on the walls of my future home
carry it in a bouquet to hand to me
and the smell will cheer my soul
gather it in ribbons and wind it through my hair
place it on my pillow every night
sing it in a song and write it in a book
and send it to me on stormy days
graft it in my trees
and plant it in my soil
spray it across my window panes
bury it beneath my doorstep
and curl it in my hair
and make it in a picture frame and hang it here
laugh it in my ear
and smile it in my face
kiss it on my mouth
and cook it for me to taste
take it on a trip and send it in a post card
and if you mail it mail it with a heart
give it to me in a sign on my road
leave it on a note under my door
bring it in a birthday gift
or just because you can
write it on my window
or write it in the sand
carry it on you and wrap it 'round my shoulders
and bake it inside pies
and pour it like a wine and
when it gets hard just bring it if you can
seal it in an envelope and leave it in my box
but just make sure I get it soon
I am perishing without it

by: me

Concrete Thieves

You've wasted away
half of you is gone
your baby blues
seem wrong
The man I knew
is a shadow
a spectre
Who, who are you?
You were wild and free
running in the trees
Now steal and glass
and concrete thieves
collect your bones
off the pavement steps
Who, who are you?
I recall the ways you made me smile
my sunny summer boy
your words brought me up a while
in joy
I could always count on you to show the bright side
but now it's over
in cigarettes and steal
City lights replaced the stars
and buildings replaced your trees with cars
where are your kitty cats and garden gnomes now?
Your baby blues seem wrong and
you don't seem so strong
I guess the city ate away at you
So much for that
I guess I've said my goodbye to you

by Elizabeth Azpurua

You Won't

I would walk through fire for you
through ice on bare feet for you
I would fight off one thousand demons for you
would you believe that'd I'd do
anything?
I would stand up and defend
I'd be your shield
I would stand and not pretend
I am right here
but no, you know, I know
you won't
oh no, I know you know
that you won't
You won't walk through the fire for me
if it meant to end your life
because you wish to spend it by her side
You won't walk the ice on bare feet for me
because it would ruin your feet you'll use
to run to her when she will choose
You will not fight even one demon for me
you don't believe in that fighting
or anything
You won't stand up or defend
So please do not pretend
You're not here
oh, oh, you know, I know
you won't
I know, I know you know
that you won't
and it hurts more than anything
to know you won't do anything
I would do it all and more for you
but I know you know you wouldn't do it too

...Made From?

...it begins with the first recollection of before
a before with hope
with love
with trust
and the true essence of loyalty
and nightmares creep up to steal away the innocence of youth
it is within the mind that nightmares are born
but of what substance are they made from?
...it is from heroes that or devotion springs upward
with longevity
with love
and the true essence of loyalty
and from the saviors of our dreams we find the cornerstone of debt
it is from this we build the city of our illusions
but of what substance are the buildings made from?
...it is from reality that our delusions grow
out of fear
and doubt
and confusion
and a loss of innocence and trust
and the delusions become the reality we hide within
it is within this reality we escape from truth
but of what realities is truth made from?
...it is the recollection of the past the comes
with aging
and time
and courage
and a remembrance of loss and trust
and the recollections bring us to the darkest days
it is from these days we unlock our true selves
but of what realities is truth made from?


4/22/12

Cinderella Summer

"Cinderella"

Midnight strikes
I'm no Cinderella
I've no glass slipper
I've no magic pumpkin
or Fairy Godmother
My days are work filled
and my Godfather sells clothes
I'm fond of flat shoes
and pillows
So, maybe Charming, you'd like to see
the view of mountains
and green scenery
I'm no Cinderella
my hair isn't blonde
I don't fancy the high life or city lights
I like the stars
and fireflies
Midnight strikes
There is no rushing down castle steps
there's just me and my cat
and a house on a mountaintop
So, maybe Charming, you'd like to see
the woodlands outside
and the stars with me
I'm no Cinderella
I won't play that game
I'd rather a sword
and my own name
I don't need you to ride up on a white horse
I've no time for that upkeep
I just want a man to come and see the night with me
I'm no Cinderella
I don't need to be

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"Summer"

Summer, every year, I wish from you the best
And yet, and yet, and yet....
You leave me with this sense of missed moments
and confusions
and frustrations
I just like the Fall
I like to see you come and see you go
and you leave, oh, oh
Such a mountain of strange things
Summer, you have broken my heart
Summer, you have torn me apart
Summer, you have undone me
You have taken me higher than the walls can handle
Made me stronger than I thought capable
You have healed, hurt and hindered me
You have created illusions and blurred my eyes
Made me cry in fits and live out lies
You have made me feel the greatest happy things
and left me wanting
Summer, every year I, I wish for the best, I do
and yet, and yet, and yet...
You leave me with photos and memories
Missed moments of things that could be
and then I greet the Fall
I like to see you come and go
when you leave, oh, oh
Such a mountain of strange things
Summer, you have mended my heart
You have been a fresh new start
Summer, you have undone me
You've been more than I was able to handle
and all that I could scarcely remember
So many, many things
Summer, when you come this year
Be good to me
Summer, when you come this year
I want to be
missing you when you go
when you leave, oh, oh
I want to greet the Fall
with a thousand memories
of good things

I Like Feathers

"Held Together by Feathers"

Tease me into warmer waters and guide me to the sea
follow me in paper boats
and bring my home to me
Carried in lights across the sky
and remind me who I am
in feathers and recreations
of a forgotten land
Lead me into the stillness of the woods and hold me there
and play the sound of nature
and tell me that you care
Carried in songs from birds through the trees
remind me of life and love
and everything I need
in the moment you see me help me hold myself together
in memories and moments
and dove feathers
I am yours
I am yours
Take me into warmer nights and dance with me slowly
glide along the starlight
and make wishes with me
Carried in lights across the sky
and remind me who I am
in feathers and recreations
of a forgotten land
Lead me to the meadow by the sea out on the cliff there
and whisper the sound of the wind
and hold the hope in the air
Carried in the sound of the waves below me
remind me of life and love
and everything I need
in the moment you hold me help me put myself back together
in memories and moments
and dove feathers
I am yours
Forever yours

4/26/12

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"I Like it So"

i like your hands
and the way they move
across my body
inside me smooth
i like your hands
and the veins beneath
the way your fingers
sink in me
i like your hands for more than this
but this i want the most
and so it goes
i like it so
i like your eyes
the way they look at me
and stare me down
undoing thoroughly
i like your eyes
the color changes for me
capturing emotions
and the way you're feeling
i like your eyes for more than this
but this i need the most
and so it goes
i like it so
i like your smile
when you light up the room
and it captures me
chases away the gloom
i like your smile
and the way you look so fine
i like your smile
when your smile is mine
i like your smile for more than this
but this i enjoy the most
and so it goes
i like it so
i love your laugh
i love the way my soul sings
i love your laugh
the joy it always brings
i love your laugh for more than this
but love this the most
because it goes
like so......


4/15/12

Nothing About You is Real

You can walk and make all their heads turn
Flirt until you make their eyes burn
Bathe your head in hairspray
and make sure the color will stay
Nothing about you is real
and you like it that way
You can slide your tiny hips into your skin tight jeans
Make sure you're busting out that bra at the seams
You bend over and make them all stare
Do they realize that's not the color of your hair?
Nothing about you is real
and you're barely even there
You can crook your finger flirtatious and fun
Bring them all running and then you're done
Take a look in the mirror, oh tell me, tell me
Do you see a reflection, is there a soul to see?
Nothing about you is real
so I am left doubting
You can slide your high heals on and flaunt your feet
I just look you over, false and way too neat
Darling, you think you're a doll, but no, it's a lie
like passing off a funeral song as a lullaby
You think you have them when you flash your lipstick smile
Whatever, I've seen your tricks for a while
Nothing about you is real
go ahead and pile
those lies on

by Elizabeth Azpurua

Evil Wears a Good Woman's Face

I have seen this disease in many a cold hearted woman
I have seen manipulated men become heart broken
I have seen the devil in their beautiful eyes
I have seen the tokens they wear to bring demise
I know how they are and I know how they do what they do
It's a shame they play the game as well as they do

Primp and preen
Lay the mask on thick
Show a little leg and smile so quick
Speak kind and give many, oh many, a compliment
And then knock them down to the pavement

I have seen the anguish in many a mistreated child
I have seen the leftovers of someone born of wild
I know like a stalking tiger they will kill in glee
All wearing pretty patterns your eyes can't help but see

Primp and preen
Lay the mask on thick
Show a little leg and smile so quick
Speak kind and give many, oh many, a compliment
And then knock them down and let them die in your cement....

and when they strive to stand back up, you make them feel the fool
for they were the ones who lost their footing

I have seen many a wicked woman in wanton ways
Court her prey in trickery and leave them there for days
Crooking fingers, calling men, tearing them apart
then going home and eating out all the children's hearts
They will tell the world in sorrow someone else was there
and put the blame somewhere else to go and fix their hair

Primp and preen
Lay the mask on thick
Showing leg and a smile so sick
Speak false kindness and lay on the compliments
Then choke the life from them, from all the innocent

I have seen the destruction from many a cruel hearted woman
I have seen the devil in their eyes bring about devastation
I have seen the great triumphant look in their eyes when  they kill
Like a tiger on the prowl through the night in air so still
Taking man and child down alike while holding a smile firm in place
A mask of utter evil is etched on every pretty wicked face

Primp and preen
Lay the mask on thick
They show a little leg and smile so quick
Speaking kind and giving many a compliment
and then they make the worst of it
and kill off all that could have been
in their wicked, wicked, evil, horrid ways
all wearing a good woman's face
and never an apology or feeling bad for their wickedness
they don't care as long as they come out in innocence

By: Elizabeth Azpurua

Wanting but Unwanted

There are these days I would like to be held and at best I can seek comfort from a pillow
There are nights I'd like to view the stars with somebody and see Mars and dream for the better
There are times I'd like to hold to someone meaningful
but the times don't come
There are ways in which I would like to sing to someone
but the songs are never sung
Tell me, tell me, why is it so hard?
I am wanting
But unwanted
Tell me, tell me, why is it a breaking heart?
I am wanting
But unwanted
There are these moments I'd like to grasp another's hand and seek out the world beyond
There are these mornings I'd like to view the rising sun and hear the birds singing pleasent weather
There are times I'd like to cling to someone beautiful
but the times don't come
There are many reasons I would like to sing to someone
but the songs are never sung
Tell me, tell me, why is it so hard?
I am wanting
But unwanted
Tell me, tell me, why is it a breaking heart?
I am wanting
But unwanted
I am wishing and wishful and wanting but no
I am unwanted not wished for and I just don't know
Why is it so hard?
Why this breaking heart?
I am wanting
But unwanted, you see
All these ways in which I would like to be with someone
Are wasted by someone not wanting to become that someone
Still wanting
But unwanted

How I Adore You

You're the pinnacle of my desire for love
the culmination of struggle and anguish
In you I found rebirth
I was set free from the captivity of foolish loving
and born again in despair
I have tasted the essence of the Atonement in you
and languished in hope and fought to keep it
There is not a fibre in me that does not love you
You are the Northern Star to which I set my life towards
How great the capacity I have acquired for love
I have been reborn in a new type of beauty
It is rare and stricken in grief and longing
You're the absolution
the astounding miracle of life
You teach me of love and hope and freedom and forgiveness
and you are barely here at all
How much more could you change me if you were always at my side?
I should think I would burn into a star
to which other hope filled lovers set their sites on
If I ever knew anything at all of love, it was erased in you
and reborn into freedom
How I adore you, there are no words, but the solemn whisperings of my soul
These things, these things you do not know
My lips cannot utter how very profound your presence in my life has become
If ever I erred, it was in not loving you sooner

A Large Pebble

The wind ravishes this soul of mine, this breath of mine
it leaves and in its place remains a stone
heavy, round and bitter
the absence of what was needful is now just a large pebble
If I could grasp onto the hope that was once within me
and harness it like wind
I should like to think I could safely love again
where my soul would be free and alive and floating on the tendrils of clouds
but no, 'tis a stone
heavy, round and bitter
and the absence of what is needful; just a large pebble
and stilled
like an abandoned home after the storms
How can I recover from such things?
My hands are cold and my chest is a cavern and I am a pit of hopelessness
where wind doth rage unstoppably cold
and left is only a stone
a large pebble
heavy, round and bitter