Floor

I was branded, marked and scarred
I was handed hell inside a jar
My innocence had fled beneath a moon
My blurry eyes sought you in the gloom
And you changed my whole outlook
And you changed everything I partook of
You became the reason I am healing
and then you dropped me from the ceiling to the floor

I was broken, bruised and left alone
I made of a broken house my home
My errors were plain for you to see them
But you soon helped me attain freedom
You changed my entire perception of life
You changed my whole reason to try
You became the reason I reach to the top
and it was all OK until you let me drop to the floor

But you came and you lifted me back up
I was bitter, hurt and sore, but you helped me out
I learned from you what to forgive meant
and my love became heaven sent

I am jaded, fabricated and a fool
And for you I've broken every rule
You open up these tired eyes and I see hope
You broaden my horizon with a better sense of scope
And you change the world I can see
You change it all and you create a better me
And you lift me up and you take me so high
This time you let me know you won't let me die on the floor
No, not any more


9/3/11

Falling In Love is Like War Raged by Dragons

It was caged, and barred and boarded up
and chained away
and you set it free
with your creation
and it burst into flames, vibrant and encompassing
and suddenly descending
from my home in those clouds
and like wars raged by dragons
spinning, downward like eagles
fiery and burning
in powder, ash, and the cosmic chemical that erases sense
this force inside flashes through skies of azure
delving deeper, seeping through my being
this endless, eternal flight spiralling down
like dragons coupling in the sky
the descent is fiery, like powder and ash
the remnants mark the fall of my heart
and the beginning of erasing my reason
in flames and my fall from the heavens
this fiery, burning
like a war of dragons
consumes as I near bottom
this thing called
"falling in love"
leaves me scorched
like powder and ash
and my descent becomes my grave
in this fiery ending

Leave the Coins Here

"Counting Coins"

I can't help the fact that
I feel like I'm last
on your list
I feel sometimes as though
I do not exist
You keep counting coins here
like they pile up
with meanings
but maybe you
have
the wrong currency
I can't help the fact that
I feel slightly used
by you at times
I get the feeling you take for granted
my honest lines
You keep counting out those coins
and they won't add up
with meaning
perhaps you have the wrong coins?
I wish you would let them be
but the choice is not
up to me
So I never quite am the first
always feeling hurt
not added up

11/21/11

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Come Here"

Come here boy, I gotta' say, I don't know what to do
I been waiting here all along
waiting here on you
I been here and I been there, I been all around
But you got my tongue tied where I can't make a sound
I see far and I see wide and I see in between
But I can't see exactly what this all should mean
I keep waitin' for who knows what
and I won't let it go
I been wanting you so much and God only knows
I keep askin' for a dream and I can't make you see
I been standing here alone, standing here I'll be
Come here boy, I must say, I really want to be
somehow the only one that you'd like to need
I wanna be your lover not just your friend
but standing here and waitin' is bound to be my end
Take my hand and tell me so
Tell me we can try
For the better part of nothing is how I waste my time
Come here boy, come here now
and tell me it's OK
for I'm waitin' here and I can't stand to wait another day


11/17/11


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Leave"

I can't speak
it's why there are these words here
to hold my emotions
and keep them sheltered here
I can't communicate
I've been told I'm terrible
Horrible
the worst yet
I make them miserable
and they all leave
Will you leave?
I make them want to leave it all
Will you leave also?
I can't breathe
when I try to say what you mean to me here
I can't breathe
and that's why I exist right here
I am a tongue tied fool
Quite terrible and unforgivable
Horrible
the worst it seems
I make them hate it all
and they all leave
Will you go too?
I make them miss it all
and they go by
Will you go by, too?
I wish I could tell you
How much I love you
but words fail me
and come out in poorly written poems
So, they sit here
holding my ability to speak and breathe
holding my ability to communicate anything
and holding all my hopes that you won't leave

11/22/11

Dancing Still

Perfect, I am not perfect
What are you seeking?
Why isn't it me?
Graceful, is not who I am
I don't understand
what you planned
to do with me
So, tell me what is this all about?
I am not your ideal, I know
Tell me why are we dancing still
when the music is over
and the weather's cold?
Perfect, I am not perfect
What are you needing?
Is it not me?
Grateful, oh, how I am careful
to tell you how wonderful
you are to me
So, hold me, hold me regardless
I know I am not your ideal
And listen, listen, the music is over
But we're dancing still
And we're dancing still


11/12/11

Write About Powerful Volcanic Love

"Give Them a Reason to Write"

Darling, I do believe we're chasing our own dreams
I believe we are startled
when we come across each other's eyes
the shadows die
and we're done for
I see in you a reflection of myself
I seen in you a perfection of your self
I see in us a reason for people to write love poems
So, darling, tell me when our dreams will meet

Darling, I know you're holding onto your seems
Left torn asunder
when she left you broken hearted there
all alone
and let down
I see in you a reflection of my past
I see in you all that has come to pass
I know they'll see in us reasons to write love songs
So, tell me darling, when do we write our own?

11/12/11

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Volcanic Love"

I desire you, like fire, brimstone
and rain
coated in acid
I want you to consume
I want to be consumed
by you
I desire to be owned, controlled
take over
I want to be erased but left
only with you
I desire you like volcanic eruptions
destroy me
Consume me
I want to be eaten up by your love
Consumed by your entirety
I want to be swallowed up in all that ends me
I desire you like the fire, brimstone
and scorching flames
upon me
Take me now
Take me now
Burn my slow all the way down
I need you like I never needed anything
Consume me
consume me
like it's my ending
Just take all of me here
and I'll become one with you

11/12/11

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


"Powerful"

porcelain
sweet
soft and delicate
i never was
this
no
i am ironclad
impenetrable
and harsh
and
cold
it's in your hands
this power
to undo me
and
erase
my walls
it's in your breath
this essence
to control me
and
stop
my heart
i was like
the ice
i was like
the steel
i was like
the cold
barren
ground
and your hands
they touched
they felt
the delved
and i
found
my
weakest
place
where i become
like melting
sunlight
spilling
gentle
delicate
and free
yet so powerful
the way
you make
me
breathe


By Elizabeth Azpurua

Winds of Change

The winds of change are blowing through and everything is taking on a different hue
What once filled me full of glad is leaving me somewhat sad
The place I set aside for hope is left with a dangling rope
and the eyes I wished to see each day seem farther and farther and farther away
Oh, what will come within this breeze?
A softer, gentler, kind of ease?
Or shall I toil and fight for gain and battle harsh and bitter rain?
I fear my soul is floating on to a fresh and greener lawn
where on that other side I'll see the things that were meant for me
Yet, here is but a dangling rope where once had been a place of hope
Here is sorrow covering glad and smothering me in 'always sad'
I wish to find a happier place
and perhaps a happier face
I hope these winds of change bring peace
Oh, what will come within this breeze?


by: me

Hill

Call me stupid
Call me a fool
Call me hurtful
Call me cruel
I am running and running still
but not away anymore
I am seeking a hill

Call me evil
Call me cold
Call me strange
Call me old
I am looking and looking still
but not at you
I must find that hill

Say what you will
Deny what you'll never say
Cross out my heart
I care neither way
I am born again in seeking
and seeking is for keeps
I am looking for that castle
the one that never sleeps
Lay aside all your pointed fingers
and your laughing and your tears
I never meant any harm
Searching all these years

Call me crazy
Call me sad
Call me useless
Call me mad
but don't get in my way
as I keep on keeping on
until that blissful day
when I'm home again
Home again
Somewhere
Just around this bend
and right over this hill

11/5/11

She's the Devil

She's a viper in the nest
a poison for your mouth
a sealed lipped kiss
and a ticket way down south
Her bosom is a mirage
sent to lead you to your doom
and inside her coffin says
"Here lies your tomb"
She's a master of disguise
and her words are shaped like stones
bruised upon your body
and building up her thrones
Set atop her high chair
she shall watch you fall asleep
into a deathly nightmare
where her madness you will reap
She's a nasty little devil
and a demon plays her song
when she wakes up each morning
the evils follow her along
Her echo chases for you
and chokes your withering ears
left scarred from her whippings
you have born the marks for years
She's a bottomless well to fall through
She's an electric coated fence
She's a potion you can die from
Body aching, bones so tense
as you cough up your heart
and it spills out on the floor
she'll pick it up and eat it
always demanding more
So, you better run for cover
Lock your windows and seal the walls
Never open up for her
and don't you heed her calls
She's a wicked little secret
you never knew was true
now she is coming here for victims
She's coming here for you

Nothing but the Guilty and No Loyalty

"Not Guilty"


These matches, they're left behind
inside this rubble of the burnt spaces in my mind
I know who lit them
I know you lit them
This mess, you burnt away my world
thought it was your revenge against the word
It's all his name
You hate his name
So you burn away the places he could linger
And accuse and mock and point with every finger
How can you blame me?
As if I'm guilty?
It's not my fault things don't work out, little one
Don't blame me for all the damage that's been done
I see these ashes
I have the matches
I'm not guilty


10/30/11


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Nothing Holds On"

and the road won't lead home
and the leaves still fall
and the sky stills rains
and the water's gone
and the trees bear no fruit
and the seasons come too fast
and nothing is holding on
nor are you
and the doors don't open
and the bills pile high
and the storms never stop
and the time goes by and by
and the memories fade
and the seasons come too fast
and nothing is holding on
nor are you

11/3/11


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Loyalty
seeps away as if this
bucket has a hole now
and if I cannot patch it
what shall be left
for you and I?

By Elizabeth Azpurua

I Love You in Hope Disguised as a Red Winged Bird

"Flash of Red"

Little flash of red up in the tree
reminds me of hope for you and me
The symbol that someday we shall be fine
a hope I'll hold to and claim as mine
I'll stand by you no matter what you do
No matter what they say or claim was true
That little flash of red sealed inside for me
the choice I made long ago of loyalty
I feel you in ways I never knew could be
I feel your trembling soul so carefully
You can sit here and be so strong
enduring well, enduring long
You become for me a reason just to try
A reason to believe in a hope that I can fly
We can sit and lay out our promises here
to stand together year after year
A little flash of red up in the tree
reminds me of hope for you and me

10/29/11

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Loving You"

They say, they say you're not worth it
within in their actions
and their reactions
They say, they say that you're stained
that somehow you're marred
because you've been scarred
They say, they say with their glances
that you do not deserve any more chances
but I say, I say with my resolute proclamation
I will not dwindle in weak kneed consternation
Do not mock me
For loving
They say, they say that can't trust you
always expecting your downfall
But they don't know your call
They say, they say I should move on
as if you're not worth it
they say just to forfeit
They say, they say with their glances
You're not worthy of second chances
but who are they to deny what I have seen?
They cannot envision what has been foreseen
But they mock me
For loving
So I say, I say that I trust you
I know you and love who you are
You are like my one wishing star
And I say, I say you're worth this
worth all the waiting
and my soul's debating
I'll say, I'll say in my glances
You're worth limitless chances
I know inside you're gonna make it out
And that you'll discover what you're about
So don't mock me
For loving.........
..........you.


10/29/11

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Disguised Hope"

I just want to say I am not crazy
I take the signs from God and heed them well
and when I'm scared of what's to come or could be
I always know from him and I'm OK
So when I'm driving to your home or from your home or all alone
and the trees are blurred while tears sting my eyes
feeling hopeless for these people just don't know you like I do
I am driving too fast
thinking about you
And then they fly
from the trees to the road
and I slow down
and I watch them as they go
and their wings catch the light in crimson shades
and I always make it home safe
So tell me, tell me is it a sign?
A sign to hold to hope in this disguise?
Cardinals are visiting my journey to and fro
and carrying hope with them wherever they go
All I know is crying while I cannot see the end
is never going to make it better now
but God will guide me and help me on my way
just around the bend
a red bird is in that tree


By Elizabeth Azpurua

It's a Shame to be Shot

"A Shame"

Seems a shame it's gotten this way
where did we go wrong
where did we stray?
Who pulled out the punches
and fed them to us?
Who pushed us over the edge?
It's just not the same....
such a shame
Seems a sorrow we're not talking
why did you decide that I was mean?
What has happened?
Where did we go wrong?

10/26/11

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Shot Again"

bulletproof
i never was
shot in the dark
shot in the heart
i had trusted them
trusted them all....
so now i'm made of cardboard
shot with holes
i am sick and sorrowed
in worn out soles
my echo is fading
from ended cries
and i never could stop them
nor close these eyes

"Love Song"

They said, "the roses are red"

They said too, "the violets are blue"

They blamed it on you

I say the sky isn't gray

I say I like it better this way

It's all becoming about you

They can wish to shoot down the wishing star

They'll never reach that far

No they won't

They can try to paint my life without you

But they'll never get through

Without knowing

I love you like rain loves clouds

I love you out loud

I love you, I love you, I do

The roses are red because of you

They blame the garden on you

And curse the sky for being blue

They still blame it on you

They can wish to shoot down the wishing star

They'll never reach that far

No they won't

They can try to paint my life without you

But they'll never get through

Without knowing

I love you like rain loves clouds

I love you out loud

I love you, I love you, I do

You made these violets blue

I say the sky isn't gray

I love it this way

So let them blame all the beauty on you

You make it all seem true

They can wish to shoot down the wishing star

They'll never reach that far

No they won't

They can try to paint my life without you

But they'll never get through

Without knowing

I love you in roses red and violets blue

I love you, I love you, I do

I love you like rain loves clouds

Out loud

I love you out loud

I love you, I love you, I do

You are in everything and everything is you

Lyrics by: Elizabeth Azpurua

Essence of the Atonement

it's too much for me to bare; how i care, it is frail
inside these walls of my being
i might as well have swallowed the essence of the Atonement
and choked my soul
and drugged my mind
for i still love you and i don't know how not to
this disease of yours is killing me tonight
but i can't not love you; i've tried, and tried, but how to?
you're the one thing that can ruin me in seconds
how can i stand strong against you?
i don't want to have to
i want to hold you
and hold you all here
i am tired of pain
and the shame
and the scars
and the endless destruction plaguing now
can i mend these broken minds?
can we erase the wrong of time?
do i, do i know how to at all?
this love just kills me slow; and i won't know, oh no
until i take my last breath
but I feel like I swallowed the essence of the Atonement
and i am drowning in it
won't forsake you now
i love you and don't know how not to
but it hurts
like nothing before

9/21/11

Wicked Mistress

A garden in rows all neat and in line

Special you called it, you called it divine

You made it a marvel to breathe in the aroma

and you kicked them all out

and locked the gate

And shut the joys out

For your sanity's sake

Mrs. Mary, you were quite the contrary one

Never having any fun

Mrs. Mary you became like a bum

and never paid anyone

Now your garden's over-run

with sickly things to come

Better, better run before you're done

You'd made them work like slaves

Until each rose was perfection

And made them dig their own graves

for some twisted revelation

Evil was your middle name

Evil was your candle's flame

Wicked Mistress

Your garden of rows is now in a decline

Special, you'd called it but now it's a sign

The proof that you lost it and you're crazy now

There's a gate at the entrance

There's no visitors now

For your sanity's sake

Mrs. Mary, you were quite the contrary one

Never having any fun

Mrs. Mary, you became like a bum

and never paid anyone

Now your garden's over-run

with sickly things to come

Better, better run before you're done

Wicked Mistress



Stand at the Bottom for You

"My Bed Might be at the Bottom of the Sea"

I cannot break open the silence nor still the roaring waves
your drowning body is lost to me in these silent days
you sink alone and don't you know I'd swim right by you
and if we drown together then that'll just have to do
I'm not making this a playtime game in a park for joy and fun
This isn't a way to pass my time until something else comes along
I was standing my ground and sinking my boots in
My battle gear is ready and I'm set to win
But the silence is like an anchor inside of me
and it becomes a wall over which I cannot see
So, let me be your life raft, let me be your saving gem
Let me the the one who shows you how to make an island
For all those days of troubled waves and your failing aching limbs
I will be the one there beside you or I'll be the one who tries to swim
I know times are troubling, I know we're failing now it seems
yet, deep inside I made a vow to stay no matter the state of things
So, if I drown I drown with you
I will make my bed in a sea of blue
and if I manage to make you an island here
then have no fear, have no fear
Because I'm always here...
I said I would be

9/26/11
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Standing"

You were standing
that is all I saw
no pretending
yet the feeling raw
burned me inside out
and made a hole
for you to sink into
You were guarding
you were standing tall
not relenting
and you did not fall
I'm wishing I could explain
the emotions there
that mean so much now
so much now
You were standing
with shoulders strong
and I'm not lying
and I'm not wrong
you were stalwart
you were true
you were steady
you were you

9/26/11

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"For You"

to taste you, I would inhale death
to hold you, I would embrace fire
to lay beside you every night I would face the greatest woes
and to cease your troubled dreams I'd chew on razors
if this is not enough from me
then I do not know what more I can do
for you

9/27/11

Mansion Down by the Sea

when the page I see is white
and I've no words to write
and I can't be polite
when the hopes I had have shattered
and nothing else mattered
sickly, here bruised and battered
I await you

You made me a home near the ocean there
a coffin, a prison, a hole so bare
You called it my mansion down by the sea
and you sank me, you drowned me, I'm ending

when the words I speak all are lost
and I cannot bear the cost
into the air all my dreams you tossed
just to watch them all shatter
for none of this will matter
serve me my heart on a platter
I await you

You made me a home near the ocean there
a coffin, a prison, a hole so bare
You called it my mansion down by the sea
and you sank me, you drowned me, I'm ending

In eyes the color of ocean waves
You took my hand and promised me
You'd stand by my side all these days
and bid me to follow you faithfully

You made my death by the ocean there
a coffin, a prison in a hole so bare
It isn't a mansion down by the sea
it's a place to drown me, to kill me, slowly

now I have no words left to free my soul
I will lie helpless here in this lonely hole
until an angel with a saving role
comes to take my hand and give me wings
lifts me out of this darkness while he sings
words to scream at you, to me he brings

I'll escape from my home by the ocean there
a coffin, a prison, no longer will I care
Blue eyes will not be the mansion for me
nor will it be the death of me
you will not be the death of me
I'm not drowning


9/16/11

Shot the Kaleidscope for Happy?

"Shot"

bullet in the dark
i consult your intentions
poke at you with a metaphorical fork
you seem to be colored in something like crimson
perhaps it's poison
you seem to have left a trail
you leave behind a stain
and in my chest I feel pain
what are you?

9/16/11

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"You Sound Like Happy"

if all i can remember is your laugh
that is all i need
that is all i will hear haunt my dreams
if all i can hold to is your happiness
i will feel joy for you
i will feel better knowing the truth
if only laughter were enough to stop the earth
i would claim a moment or two
to carve into my eardrums the sweetest sound
it's the sound of you

9/16/11

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


"Kaleidoscope"

They broke me long ago
this you didn't know, this you didn't know
Then you came and told me to stand
told me the remnants of my being were mine to keep
so I remade myself in fragments of glass
and you made me feel beautiful
and useful
and different to the eyes
you made of me a marvel
If you only realized
Prismatic is my heart now, love
contained in changing lights

9/16/11